Shaman Idol

A/N: I wanted to do a Shaman Idol, like American Idol shamanized! Guess who the judges are? Nheh, and the contestants?

Let's just say that our favorite idol might pop up as well….Ren Hung?

Disclaimer: 'Tis a pity that I do not own Shaman King…

And lo and behold, Ann's freckled face with her yellow, crumbly, jacked-up teeth and wild blue eyes filled the screen as she spoke in a strange tongue none but our very own Horohoro could understand.

He stood there, in the middle of the stage, in all of his obese glory, munching on a fried cheese stick as if the whole world were not watching him indulge in cholesterol-on-a-stick greedily….

And so Ann spoke, "Qieirkjsso, Horohoro, fghkoiehksndoeoa! Ytuyy, oppounsfew, nnghijktus khljpieouasmsi mis inf ytuyy!! Ereonsoa oaihubdjnahjigklj! Yoh, terjhd, Anna, terjhd, Hana, hjhiesjnsjgdjs, ponies, shgusdormfdhah sd….Gbnv?"

Horohoro opened his mouth, and spoke grandly, half-chewed cheese flying every which way, "Ertd, Ann. Ertd gjuyks xcadsk, jklndsugtur…Haw haw haw! Yoh ertd! Anna tiekhdefemod!! Fghoiinni hoi hoikhdswofnncajihrugnejn, Ann-yenfs!!!"

As the two erupted into retarded laughter of, "Haw haw haw!" the rest of the audience attempted to escape by means of the Emergency Exits, which, conviently for the Hanagumi, were pad-locked so not a soul could get out or in. Both Macchi and Mari exchanged wide, cute smiles to each-other, and watched the audience panic until nearly half of them had either heart attacks or seizures.

"Hey…shouldn't we call a doctor for them?" whispered Manta worriedly.

"But do we even know a doctor, Manta-kun?" whispered Tokageroh in response.

"Yes, remember, Tokageroh?! We have Faust VIII…" said Manta, predicting his also-mexican-on-crack-sounding-even-in-the-japanese-version friend's answer.

"No!" said Tokageroh, backing away from the stage, "He's not a doctor, he's a nut job."

Suddenly, the authoress appeared, riding on a magenta pony along with Faust and Eliza!

"Dearest Johann Faustus the Eighth is not a nutjob! HIYOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" she screamed, pretending to know kung fu and summarily falling to the floor upon her butt, silly girl…

The short blond girl ran up to Tokageroh and crushed his skull with a mallet, rendering him ASLEEP for the time being until it was Manta and his time to perform…Then, she took a small vial from her pocket, and poured the liquid inside into Tokageroh's mouth.

"Nheheheh…" she laughed creepily, she and her best friend laughing in unison.

"What the hell was that?" asked Manta worriedly.

She flashed the small boy a wry smile and exploded into hyper mania, "IT WAS….DA-DA-DA-DUM! TA DA! SEE?! LOOK, 'TIS A FORMULA! 'TWILL TURN YOUR LIZARD WIZARD FRIEND INTO A CHICKEN NAMED WL!!!!" she softened, "Ohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho!" she, Faust, and Eliza laughing in unison once more.

Manta looked at Faust, "Oh, Faust we---"

"Tut tut!" Faust interjected rather rudely. "I specifically asked that everyone call me Fred Astaire, and you have not complied, so, Eliza, send him to hell in a…"

Suddenly, a censor from 4kids popped out of nowhere, "In a fuzzy pony blanket goo!" the mysterious no-name executive cried, disappearing.

"Okay! New plan, my fellowship! We shall send 4KIDS to HELL in a BREADBASKET!!" shouted Faust in a war cry.

Both the authoress and Eliza cheered and threw confetti and streamers down from the sky as they flew into the clouds riding on not a magenta dragon, but Donald Trump's hairpiece…

Meanwhile, in the studio yet again, the evil hillybilly Ann had ceased to go invade the screen, and Horohoro stood still by the cheese stand once again, vegetating, and waiting for the Goddess Ann to call him once again…then the Shaman Idol tournament would belong to Evil Hillyblly Goddess Queen Ann and the Negaverse!!! (A/N: Since when did I turn this into Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon? 00)

"Ghkdkkkuea…" muttered Horohoro with a turn of the head and demented cackle.

"Alright everyone, Mari says that the next performers can come up to the stage so Mari can watch them and get closer to being able to burn the audience and the couch." announced Mari eloquently.

"You mean BLURN, Mari, BLURN them and the couch." stated Macchi in a firm voice while restraining Mari's arm that held the gasoline and matches in a death grip. "Not until after the contest…" she whispered discreetly.

Mari gave a saddened nod, and announced once more, "Okay, Horo-whatever, Mari is bored, so you have to announce the next people…"

Horohoro stood there, vegetating and thinking about shawls….

"Horo-whatever?!" Mari repeated loudly.

Horohoro stood there, vegetating and thinking about shawls…

This battle of the wills-or-Mari's will and Horohoro's oblivion to all around him-lasted for two hours of constant battle between Mari and Horohoro.

"HOROHORO!" screamed Jeanne finally, "IF YOU DON'T STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT FRICKING SHAWL, I WILL PERSONALLY COME AND KICK YOUR ASS!"

Marco grabbed Jeanne's shoulder and wagged a finger at her, "Jeanne, don't say fricking."

Jeanne gave him an innocent gaze, fluttering her eyelids, "But Marco, that's the designer's name, it's a Fricking Shawl."

"Oh, alright, but what about ass, my pretty little nun?" he interrogated Jeanne ruthlessly.

Jeanne sprayed him in the eyes with her pepper spray and ran off to get a CAFFEINE-FREE soda, singing all the while…Skipping and being a wonderful little angel…

"So, without further ado (coughIhateyouhoro-whatevercoughcough) Mari introduces, Shorty and the Lizard Wizard!" Mari exclaimed, nearly snapping the microphone in half.

The fog machine was made use of yet again, and soon, Tokageroh, and Manta, who wore shiny purple sequined tuxedos that glimmered in the dim light of the halls, began to sing.

to the tune of Living La Vida Loca

She's into supersitions…patch tribes, and voodoo dolls..

I have a premonition, Lililala's gonna make me fall…

Upside down! Inside out! Livin' la vida loca!

She will wear you down!

And her skin's the color of mocha!
She'll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in indian guy's brains

She'll make you go insane…!!!

Upside down! Inside out! Livin' la vida loca!

She will wear you down!

And her skin's the color of mocha!

She'll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in indian guy's brains!

She'll make you go insane!!!

Bacaaawk!

….

"Bacaaawk?" questioned the audience.

"Oh my god! They REALLY DID turn into CHICKENS!" squealed a member of the audience who was dressed in a cute pink cat suit, it was Hiei of Yuyu Hakusho, of course.

Suddenly, upon the great stage screen, appeared Evil Hillybilly Goddess Queen Ann of the Negaverse!

"Haw haw haw! Horohoro, tyinsdjis! Tyinsdjis! Erdsiinvkdhioahwejfokdokisom, djioasjdimfroahjj…haw haw…oyosiwiua!"

Horohoro's usual apathetic, blank expression changed miraculously to a sly grin, as he whistled a tune the reminded the authoress' cousin of the Animal House theme song, and sent down from the heavens….(A/N: What, praytell, is Animal House? My cousin typed that in!)

An empty bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken along with a large order of coleslaw! (A/N: I know what KFC is, however, perchance in a review some kindly author/authoress will inform me of what coleslaw is…I just wrote down what I saw on the menu once when we were there, I still don't know what it is…)

A/N: Please, praytell, someone tell me what coleslaw is! On one review I asked who Usher and Alicia Keys are, and what a "boo" is, and I STILL haven't the foggiest! If you are kind enough to answer these super-hard questions, I will do any type of story you request (except lemons and FaustXanyone-but-Eliza) and do it well and with a smile like on Wandaba Style! Please answer meee! See you next chapter, readers!

Ja Ne

Neko-Neko Faust VIIII- Thank You THE-PIT-MONSTER and ShiningStarAngel!!!!