Hey!!! Here is the next chapter. I am sorry that it has been taking me so long to update. But like I told you guys before, school is killing me. I never have time to do anything during the week and on the weekends I have been really busy. But I finally got the chapter done and I hope you enjoy it. I am sorry that I haven't been responding to my reviews, its just that I wanted to get my chapters up as soon as possible. I will have the last chapter of this story up very soon. Half of it is already written. Please please, continue reviewing…they are what keeps me writing. You guys are wonderful! Thank you so much!

Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from the Newsies movie. I wish I did, but I sadly don't. So I will just have to stick with my character, Hanna. Who belongs entirely to me.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Spot and I, sat in the beautiful backyard of my old house for another hour before I finally decided that it was time to go. My brother had yet to return and I didn't feel the need to wait any longer. There was something in my heart telling me that there are some things that should just be left behind. I had never known my brother before and hence, there was no need to know him now.

Yet I could not hide the disappointment, as we began to walk back to the Lodging House. Most of the time that we had spent at my house, neither Spot nor I had spoken but a few words to each other. I think it was because Spot knew that I would have preferred to be alone, so he stayed as quiet as possible. But now the silence was becoming uncomfortable and we both knew it.

"So dat' was your house?" he asked.

"Yeah, I grew up there. But that was actually only our summer home. Our real house was a half an ride from here. It was a lot bigger, because we spent most of the winter there." I replied casually.

"Ya had a good life, Doll." He said and it almost felt like he was saying it to himself.

"Yeah, I guess I did." I responded as we continued walking down the street. The sun had risen completely in the sky and I could tell that it was noon. The temperature would have been comfortable if the wind wasn't blowing so hard. But it was just the normal sign that summer was going to be coming to an end very shortly.

Just then we passed Tibby's Restaurant and I pulled on Spot's sleeve to get his attention. "Let's stop and get something to eat. I have a little bit of money left, so I will pay for you." He looked hesitant at first but he followed me anyway. Everybody knew that Spot didn't like to take charity from anybody. But he knew that I wasn't giving him charity, I was just doing it because I wanted to.

When we walked in, I noticed a small group of newsies sitting in the far back corner, they looked up at us but then went back to eating. It was just a bunch of the younger kids who had never paid attention to much of anything really. The older boys always thought it best to keep the younger kids out of all the problems. It helped them to have a civil mind when they got older. Because when you were raised with violence and hardships you turned out like Spot. We walked over and sat in a booth by the opposite wall. There wasn't many customers today, so a waitress came over immediately and took our orders. When she left, I turned to him.

"How come you never talk about your life?" I asked. "You know everything about me, yet I barely know anything about you." Spot looked up from the table and shrugged his shoulders.

"Because I don't like ta talk about myself. Besides I don't tink' its anybody's business but mine." I nodded my head. I knew not to push Spot into doing something that he didn't want to do, so I asked no more questions about his past.

Spot looked back down to the table and I continued to stare at him. I had been too busy thinking about my own problems that I wasn't really focusing on his. When I looked closer at his face I could just see the hint of a bruise forming on his cheek. That somehow made me remember everything that had happened the night before and I was slowly beginning to see how all of this had changed Spot.

I could see that he was hurting and it killed me to know that there was nothing I could do to stop it. But I also believed that this was the reason that the rest of the newsies had decided to give us some space. They knew that we would either deal with our grief alone, or deal with it together but we didn't have the strength to be around anybody else.

Spot could feel me starring at him and he looked up to meet my eyes. "Are you sure your alright?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine Doll," he replied coolly. I don't know why I even asked in the first place. I knew what his answer would be. I guess had I just hoped that he would decide to open up and tell me what he was thinking.

The waitress came back with our food soon after that. I had ordered a bagel with blueberry jam and Spot got some toast. We ate our food in silence, until I could take it no longer. I knew that he was blaming himself for Booker's death and I just couldn't let him continue.

"It wasn't your fault," I finally said. He looked up startled as I disrupted the silence. Then his eyes narrowed in anger.

"I don't wanna talk about it." Spot replied as he took a bite of his toast.

"But you need to realize that it wasn't your fault." I said again. I had to make sure that he understood.

"I said dat I don't wanna talk about it!" He yelled.

I stood up in anger and slammed my hands down on the table. A few of the other people in the restaurant looked over at us startled. But I didn't even notice as I glared at Spot Conlon. "Well it doesn't matter what you want anymore! Because its what you need! You can't keep blaming yourself for something that you had no control over."

To my surprise Spot didn't yell, he just sat there. "I could have stopped it."

I sat back down in my seat. " Tell me how you could have stopped him?"

Spot shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno, I just could have."

I sighed in disbelief. "Why do you always have to be so stubborn? There was no way to stop him, Spot. Booker made up his own mind. You have to realize that your not the only one who's hurting. Don't you think that I spend every waking moment thinking about how I could have stopped him, or try and find some way to blame myself for what he did? But you can't live like that! I found out first hand, when my parents died. I thought that maybe if I had been home and not at that stupid school, I would have found someway to prevent the fire, to save them. Even though I knew in mind that even if I had been there, I probably would have died myself. For the longest time, I couldn't let go of the fact that it wasn't my fault. Don't do that to yourself Spot, your smarter than that."

Spot looked up at me and I could once again see the pain in his eyes. "What makes ya think dat I'm smarter dan dat?"

"Because you made it this far without breaking." I reached my arm across the table and took his hand in my own. He continued to stare at me, without blinking. "Be the strong person that I know you are, Spot. Believe me when I tell say that you had no control over what Booker did…it wasn't your fault."

His gaze left my own and he starred down at the wooden table. Then he nodded his head and let go of my hand, as he leaned back against the bench. "I know."

I smiled softly at the fact that I had finally gotten through to him. "Alright, well lets get back to the Lodging House. We have been gone for hours and I don't want the boys to worry."

Spot laughed and I was happy to see him smile again. "Yeah, dey probably tink' we killed each other or somethin." I paid the bill and we left Tibby's.

We walked beside each other in silence, but somewhere along the way Spot had taken my hand in his own. It felt so perfect and I wished that I could have spent every second of my life doing just that. It was such a simple moment, yet I would stand to cherish it for the rest of my life. I dreamed that I could stay there forever, just walking down the street with the boy that I cared so deeply for, in a city that I both loved and hated with all my heart.

When we made it back to the Lodging House, I was startled to see that most of the boys were back so soon from selling. Actually I had the feeling that they didn't go at all. I knew that my hand must have tensed up because Spot looked over at me concerned. "What's wrong, Dollface?" Spot asked.

"Nothing," I replied as I started making my way up the stairs, that led into the bunkroom. Spot was behind me and I knew that I couldn't stop. But I just wasn't ready to face any of them. I could barely deal with my own pain, let alone see what the death of a friend could do to the rest of the newsies. Even the boys who never knew Booker, couldn't have came out of something so intense, without being somehow effected.

I had told Spot so many times before, not to blame himself for Bookers death and yet I could not stop blaming myself. I just figured that if I had said it out loud enough, somehow I would come to believe it. But one thought kept repeating over and over in my mind. I was the reason that Booker stopped Spot from being stabbed. If I hadn't loved him so much then Booker may have still been alive. But there was no good outcome to this situation because no matter what choice I made somebody would die. I just couldn't understand how love could kill something so wonderful.

I opened the door to the bunk room and I felt Spot's hand gently press on my back. This gave me some comfort as I walked into the room. For the first time since what happened, I stopped and starred my friends in the eyes. Spot walked into the room behind me and shut the door. We stood there for a few moments and nobody said a word. Deciding that I could not longer take the pressure, I turned around and walked towards the door to my room. But I stopped when Race spoke. "Hey, Doll. Dere is dis fair goin on tonight in da park and we were all wonderin if ya might wanna come?"

I didn't look at them as I continued towards my room. "Maybe, if I finish packing." That was when I realized that I hadn't told them that I was leaving yet.

I reached out to grab the doorknob but Jack quickly pulled it shut again. "What do ya mean, packing?" He asked and the rest of the boys crowded around.

I got the horrible feeling that I was being backed up into a corner and I looked over as Spot for an escape. I needed for him to find someway to get me out of the terrifying situation that I had so clumsily gotten myself into to. But I knew that there was no way to get away from it, so I stood strong and starred Jack in the eyes. "I'm leaving," I replied staunchly.

"Where are ya goin?" Racetrack jumped in. He looked both confused and hurt.

"I'm going to live with Olivia and her aunt in Virginia." The boys eyes grew wide in disbelief.

"But ya can't leave," Race practically yelled.

I turned and looked at him sadly. Ever since the first day we met in Tibby's, he had been nothing but a loyal friend to me. Race had been more like family than my own parents had. He kept me out of trouble and had shown me how to survive on my own. Even when I made him angry or disappointed him, he had always forgiven me. I knew that I had taken his friendship for granted and the guilt was more than I could bare. "I have to," I replied sadly. Then I turned around and walked into my room.

The suitcase was still on my bed from when I had started packing that morning, and I continued with where I had left off. My back was to the open door and I could feel there stares boring into my back. I got the uneasy feeling that they could see right through me. That no matter how good I was at hiding my pain, they knew that I was only pretending. The same way that I could see into Spot's eyes and tell that he was hurting.

Suddenly I realized that tears were once again falling from my eyes and that I was no longer folding the clothes nicely, I was shoving them into the bag. That just goes to show you how hardship and suffering can change even the most strong willed people of the world. For I had once been so happy and ignorant to the problems of society, that I would have annoyed people with my joyfulness just by standing there. I had never cried for any other reason than a clumsy scrap on the knee. Now I could do nothing but cry tears of death and sorrow.

I continued shoving the clothes into my bag until Spot reached over and grabbed my wrist. I was thankful to see that he had shut the door behind me. I didn't want an audience at the moment, watching me have another break down. To my surprise, he wrapped his arms around me and I cried into his shoulder. I know that sometimes it's hard to see it, but I was only sixteen years old. Even though I was halfway to being considered an adult, I was still a child in many ways. But I knew now, that I had lost my childhood and if I didn't take care of myself, nobody would.

I pulled away from Spot and looked into his eyes. "Thank you," I said softly. Then I leaned forward and kissed him softly.

He just smiled and put his hand on my back. "Well dat's what I'm here for." Spot ushered me over and sat me down in the chair. "Now, I know dat ya don't want ta spend the last day that you are here…sittin around in ya room."

I glared at him, but after a few minutes I shook my head. "No."

"Then get dressed, because its startin ta get dark and you are comin to da fair wit us." Spot said this more like a command and I was about to protest but he left the room before I had the chance.

Growling to myself, I got to my feet and walked over to the bag that I had so forcefully packed and pulled out a light blue dress. It didn't take me very long to get it on and I fixed my hair quickly in the mirror. After tying my shoes, I stood up and walked over to the door. I took a quick breath and walked out into the bunk room.

All of the boys were rushing around, clothes laid sprawled all over the floor and to my surprise, Racetrack walked over and put his arm around my shoulders. " I'm glad ya decided ta come, Dollface. It wouldn't be da same wit'outcha."

"No problem, Race." I said calmly.

Soon all of the boys were finished getting ready and we headed out the door. But I made sure to pay Kloppman before we left. It was a beautiful night and the sky was filled with stars. Well at least with as many as you can see from a big city such as New York. The park wasn't very far from the Lodging House and we made it there in close to fifteen minutes.

I could hear the music from the live band, playing more than two blocks away. Lamps were lining the streets, giving us light to see and tables were set up all over the place. There were stands filled with food and games set up, where you could win small prizes. I smiled, as I watched a group of little kids pull on there mothers dress, begging her to let them play some more games.

Spot led us over to an empty table and I sat down next to him. Most of the boys ran off on there own and all that was left were Spot, Crutchy, Race and I. None of us really had that much money to spend, but we were having fun just sitting there. Mush decided to return a little later and to my surprise, he had Olivia with him. We hugged in greeting and Spot decided to stand and let her sit beside me.

"How are you, Hanna?" she asked politely.

"I'm just fine," I replied as I began to join in a game of poker that Race started.

For some reason, the whole atmosphere of the situation seemed to make all of my problems disappear and I felt happy for the first time in weeks. I looked around at all of my friends and smiled. This made me remember all of the good times that we shared over the past two months. Like all of the times when Racetrack and I would stay up late and play poker in the bunk room. Sometimes the sun would start to rise and Jack would wake up and yell at us to get some sleep.

I remember when Mush took me on a tour of the city and showed me everything that I had never seen before. It was such a wonderful thing for me to watch other people go on with there lives. Because I had never known anything beyond the confinements of my structured life. When I felt like I was alone in the world, the newsies had been there to show me that nobody is alone. But they not only helped me to learn more about other people, they helped me to learn more about myself.

It almost felt like yesterday, when I was standing on the docks in Brooklyn, talking to Booker about everything that I wanted to do in my life. About the house that I wanted to buy. The one that overlooks the ocean and how I wanted to paint it blue and purple because that was what the house looked like in the painting that my mother loved so much. I never would have been able to tell anybody else about my dreams because they were something so deep and personal. But Booker was a friend and he understood everything that I said.

Sometimes I got the strange feeling that I was a stranger in my own mind. When I was younger, my parents had never let me be my own person. I had always been forced to be the person that they wanted me to be. I couldn't tell them what I wanted my life to be like. Because they already had it planned out for me. I loved my parents with all my heart and I still do. But they had made me so dependent on other people, that it almost destroyed me.

I had spent all of the time that I had lived with the newsies, thinking about how horrible my life was. But there were certain times that made me question whether my life was really that bad. Times like the night that Racetrack and I sat on the roof of the Lodging House and he told me about his past. I wasn't the only one who had been thrown into this sort of situation. It was just the fact that I had been raised in such a different manner, that it was a shock when I first saw the way that some people actually had to live.

I was startled out of my daydream, when I felt someone's hand on my shoulder. I looked up quickly and saw that it was just Spot. "Come wit me," he said causally and I wondered where he wanted to go. But I didn't ask, I just followed him in silence.