Disclaimer: Well Here's Chapter 4! Sorry if it took a little while. I was
working on my other fan fiction in .HackSign. That has eight chapters.
All you fans, check that one out too! I own nothing.
((I wanted to apologize right now, in the last two chapters I used the word Sake instead of Saki. Sorry for any confusion))
Introduction
Each person has two sides their dark, and their light. Each side reflecting a part of whom we are. But mostly, we fall waste to the dark side, too weak to fight the temptations that taunt us each day.
Maybe the entire world is dark, and only a few are the light that able us to see. All we are, and all we have to be; hiding behind what the world wants us to be, and wishing we weren't what we were.
Or maybe I have it backwards. Maybe the entire world is bright and shining like the sun that hangs high in the summer skies. Maybe I am the one who is the pure dark, maybe I am the devil who taunts you all. What if I am the one you break before, wanting the temptations, needing those temptations. Who am I?
Chapter 4 Resurfacing
That night, after our many moments of intense seduction and erotic I pulled away from Sano. I could feel myself growing more and more conscious of what I was doing. Was I an idiot? I knew that I had a many waiting for me at home. I felt so atrocious. Aoshi and I may have fought, but look how quickly I have fallen to temptation and betrayed him.
"Sano. There's something I have to tell you"
But Sano didn't listen as I turned away from him. He only walked up behind me and nibbled at my ear. I quickly swatted him away like he was a pesky horse fly. I had to be strong, and turn down this deep love. Sanouske was a childhood friend, and we had left our emotions long behind ourselves as we went our separate ways.
I had Aoshi now. I was his fiancé, and it was official. In a month I would be married, honoring mother and father. I felt Sano's hands soaring up from my waist to my breasts; I turned around abruptly and slapped him. He was acting no better then Aoshi had been.
"You pervert! Stop it right now Sanouske"
Sano brought his hand to his cheek looking at me with a deep mix of confusion, sadness, and shock. But the he smiled and his eyes shone again. I could nearly melt in those azure eyes.
"Anju. I'm sorry...my desires became too overpowering.... but God!" he turned away clenching his fists and closed his eyes. I looked at his fists and watched them shake "Why did you have to come back Anju? I was nearly over you, and then you came back to me. I was so happy to see you, but you only make me want you even more. Anju...."I could see Sano was crying. The last time he cried, was when he had said goodbye to me.
I very guardedly walked over to him. I took his fists into my hands and he turned to look at me.
"I am sorry for slapping you Sanouske. But...we can't do this...we were childhood friends. There's something I have to tell you"
As I began to tell him of Aoshi I heard a voice coming from the stairs that led up to the house. I figured it was Hikaru.
"I better go Anju. Don't worry though, I don't love you any less for slapping me. I got too carried away. I'll see you tomorrow. Good night angel from the sky."
He pecked my cheek and then ran down the temple stairs out of my sight. I turned and started walking back to the cabin. I tried to keep my poise. I knew that, in my heart, the right thing to do was tell Aoshi. But if it was this one incident, and nothing ever happened again it wouldn't matter. Besides, Aoshi and I were already in a fight, and I was already at a small level still mad at him.
I decided, that only Sanouske and I would know this incident. If Sano did pull something again, I would have to confront myself with the question of whom I truly loved. When I knew the answer, I would definitely tell Aoshi.
I walked up the temple stairs and entered the house sighing, I then straightened myself and called out
"I'm home Aunt Hikaru and Aoshi. I'm sorry if I worried either of you. I ran into some old friends!"
Hikaru appeared from the east hallway and smiled as she saw me enter.
"Ah dearie you're home. How was your day Anju dear?"
"Hikaru I got a job in town! This way, I can pay some of the bills for the extra expenses Aoshi and I caused you."
"Dear that is wonderful. Did I hear you say you ran into some old friends?"
"Oh yes I did Hikaru! I ran into my old friends Sanouske Sagara and Raijuta the sword maker" "Anju, it is wonderful you have found your old friends. That is indeed fortunate for you. So, has anyone seen your brother?"
"Unfortunately no Hikaru. But I have much hope. The old man in town said that many weary travelers take refuge in this town. If I wait long enough, I know that I will find him."
"Good, very good, keep your head high. He will return, I can feel it in my old bones."
"Hikaru, where is Aoshi?"
"Aoshi?" She looked at me surprised "Well, he is out back. He said he needed to vent some anger. I figure you to had a fight?"
"Yes. Because of this dress you made me wear"
I could only see a smirk fly across her face "I told you, you're irresistible. I think it better you two call it truce though"
"You old fox. Trying to make trouble for me. But yes, better to fix the broken..."
We both bowed to each other and I made my way to the back quarters. I looked around the house, but I couldn't find him. After I had showered and changed, I sighed finally being back in my comfortable kimono. As I exited our bedroom, I heard Aoshi let out a grunt. I looked up and I saw him training.
I ducked behind a wooden pillar and watched him train. Aoshi's movements were sharp and clean with his sword, his style different then mine. Though I wanted to look away, I found my eyes drawn to him. I watched as Aoshi sliced the wooden manikins into many small pieces. In his eyes, I saw a look, I had never seen.
For once in my life, I saw Aoshi's eyes. They screamed out to me, sadness. I wondered what Aoshi was so upset about. Even after his parents death he didn't have this look in his eyes. He swung again, destroying another manikin.
He fell back into a more repetitive practice of just simple slices. I walked out onto the grass, but as he turned and slashed a manikin that was near my left I was shot back by the force of his swipe. I fell back onto my backside and Aoshi stopped dropping his sword on the ground as he ran over to me
"Anju, Anju-san are you okay?" he checked over me carefully, seeing only a small cut on my cheek. He pulled out a handkerchief and dabbed the blood away. "I'm so stupid" he muttered cleaning my cheek. I grabbed his hand with mine and I shook my head and laughed
"I guess we're even. You spied on me when I trained and I spied on you. It's all equal now."
"But...you didn't hurt me..."
"Yes I did. I slapped you earlier today. I am sorry that I harmed you. If we are to be married, we have to learn to put up with each other better."
He looked at me, and then looked at my hand, which still firmly held onto his.
"I am sorry 't help myself...you're so beautiful" he looked away staring out at all the broken pieces of wood from the manikins. "Did I really do all that?"
"Yeah, you did. But Aoshi, you seemed so sad, what's wrong Aoshi-Chan? Why did your eyes scream out that you were paining?"
Aoshi looked at me again surprised. He looked at me, staring into my eyes, and then smiled.
"I was sad because we fought Anju-San. I thought about you all day. I really wanted to go to that restaurant with you."
"Well. I actually got a job at the Akabeko. So, you can come see me any time you feel like it."
"Really? You mean it?"
"Of course you can, you are my fiancé after all."
There was a moment of silence after that. It hurt in a way, to know that I wasn't free, and I was to be married. But at the same time I was excited. I knew Aoshi was a good man. Aoshi looked down at me and smiled. He picked me up gently and started walking.
"Let's get you back to our room so I can clean up that cut. Anju...I'm sorry"
"I am sorry too Aoshi. Please forgive me."
"How could I not?" he asked laughing as he placed me down on our bed. He walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a bandage and some cleaning alcoholics. Aoshi took a cotton ball and dabbed with the alcohol and then quickly patted it against my cut. I grimaced and pushed his hand off.
"That burns Aoshi!" I moaned in pain, I was acting like a little girl.
"Look we're almost done" He patted my face again and I yipped in pain.
"Oww Aoshi it really hurts!" I burned my flesh so bad it made my ears swell up. Aoshi then kissed my cheek quickly and then placed the bandage over it.
"Did that help at all?" he asked grinning.
"No..." but then I grinned to "Okay, maybe just a little" I laid back on the bed and smiled "Thank you for fixing me Doctor Shinamori."
He loomed above me and smiled still "Anytime Anju-san, anytime."
I could only beam a grin even harder. Aoshi slowly leaned down and I closed my eyes as his hand slid behind my head. We shared our first kiss. It lasted for what seemed like ages. Aoshi pulled away for a moment, his lips still only a few inches from mine. He closed his eyes again and kissed me harder.
He held me tight and kissed me again and again. Each time he kissed me, the feeling grew warmer and warmer inside of me and he embraced me harder and harder. After an hour of our embracing and kissing he let me go and plopped down in the bed beside me.
We stayed quiet for a little while. Aoshi looked at me with his beautiful hazel eyes. This look always was one I never had seen before. His eyes looked so loving and happy. I wondered what he thought, and my face grew serious, as if trying to decipher him.
"Anju-san, why did you grow so serious?"
"Oh. Sorry Aoshi, I was just wondering what you were thinking about"
He laid his head back on his pillow and laughed. "Is that all?"
I stuttered embarrassed. "Well I was curious"
He rolled back over and smiled gently looking at me. "I was only thinking of how lucky I was to marry such a beautiful and loving girl."
I felt myself melt and leapt into him and he hugged me tightly. I buried my face deep in his chest, and I listened to that ever-comforting sound of his heartbeat. I felt his chest rise and fall with each breath he took in. He kissed the top of my head gently and whispered to me lightly.
"I love you Anju-San..."
I cried softly into his bare chest and kept myself close whispering faintly. "I love you too, Aoshi-Chan"
Together we fell asleep. The first night since the fire where we actually fell asleep instantly, rapt in our dreams. We slept together still embraced and I could feel murmur in his sleep and I could only giggle. That night seemed to last forever, but just as I closed my eyes, it was morning again.
I reminded myself I had to work for Ms. Tae today. I quickly did my morning trainings, meditations, showered, dressed and ate. I peaked my head back in our bedroom and found Aoshi still asleep. I knelt down beside him and kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear.
"I'm going to the Akabeko to start my first day of work. Hikaru will give you directions, I love you."
He moaned a little but laughed as I kissed him again "I love you too...I'll be there..." He rolled back over and went back to sleep. I only rolled my eyes and ran out the door.
I did not take me long to get to town, but I hesitated a moment, not wanting to run into Sano. I knew that this was very futile because he already knew I'd be here. I prayed with all my might that he wouldn't be there the moment I would arrive. I knew that today I would have to tell him. After what Aoshi and I established last night, I couldn't go on playing these mind games with Sano.
I entered the Akabeko, and much to my relief Sano wasn't there. Ms. Tae only greeted me, so thankful I was to see her face.
"Well good morning Ms. Akira. You ready for your first day?"
I bowed to her politely "Yes Ms. Tae. I hope I can do you proud"
We only both laughed at our formality. Ms. Tae took me in the back where she gave me my uniform, apron, and childish hat. We first began the morning by scrubbing down every table and fluffing every pillow where the customers would sit.
After that hour of preparation, Ms. Tae turned the sign to open.
It did not take long until the first family entered. For a moment, I felt my heart leap into my throat as I family with a boy and girl walked in. But I swallowed my pain and put on a cheery smile.
'Welcome to the Akabeko! A table for four correct please follows me?"
I filled this families order fairly quickly and soon they thanked me gratefully as they ate their beef stew. That family, I would realize, always visited daily, even if they didn't eat, they would come to check up on me. It seemed that this one strange family became my second family.
As soon as it seemed they sat down, they stood up and left.
"Thank you for excellent service. Ms. Tae was smart to hire you" The father replied placing a few coins in my hands as he shook it. I could only bow and smile
"Thank you for your generosity." The father only winked, and the mother smiled as she said she wish she had a daughter like me. Her own daughter moaned, but I teased her and said she could grow up to be just like me. The girl clapped her hands excitedly and they exited.
I went to Ms. Tae offering her the tip, but she only smiled and said that whatever money came my way, could be used on my wedding. I took a step back shocked, and I wondered how she knew.
"Mr. Raijuta stopped in while you were busy for his usual cup of saki. He told me the story."
"Does Sanouske know yet?"
'No. He doesn't."
'Good. I want to be the one to tell him"
"Sure is a shame. That boy will be heartbroken again"
I grew sad "I don't mean to hurt him...."
"Anju we all know that, its part of life, we move on, and we fall in love. The longer you stay with your memories, the longer you live in the past. Unfortunately, that is something Sanouske will learn the hard way."
She nodded to me, and then I turned to greet more customers. The thought of telling Sano still stayed in the back of my mind as the day drew on. I noted, that Sanouske hadn't visited the restaurant once today, and I was hoping I could see him before Aoshi.
As the clock near the entrance chimed three, I saw him enter the shop. I pretended I had not seen it was he as I bowed and greeted him like any other.
"Hello welcome to the Akabeko. How many in your party?"
"Well Lil Missie. Seems like someone's hard at work."
I looked up and smiled. It was hard, to stay unease when talking to a friend "Oh. Hello Sanouske. Good afternoon. I'm guessing you want the usual table like Ms. Tae told me about?"
"Yup. Wouldn't have it any other way"
Sanouske walked behind me, and I couldn't help but feel my neck grow clammy with sweat. Sanouske just stared up at the ceiling with his hands behind his head like nothing ever happened. He sat down and I didn't bother getting him a menu
"Your beef stew and saki will be here shortly" I hissed as I turned and walked off. I heard Sano call my name, but I told myself to keep walking...and much to my surprise, I did.
As I stood in the kitchen, his order in my hands, I begged Ms. Tae not to make me go out there. She only turned me around and pushed me towards the door.
'Anju, if you don't face him now. You'll only be running away. I know you don't want to hurt a friend, but you'll only be hurting yourself by not...TELLING HIM" Her last two words were shouted to me as she pushed me out the door.
I walked frostily over to his table and I served him his beef stew and sake. I stood there glaring at him for a moment, maybe a moment too long. He took a sip of his sake, and with his eyes closed he replied
"You're here to talk to me about last night"
"Yes." I said all too unenthusiastically
"I don't regret what I did. You're the only one for me and that's that. I love you and ---"
"STOP" I screamed at him. I gripped onto my tray for dear life as he looked up at me surprised. He stood up and tried to take my hands, but I only shoved the tray at him. "Stop Sanouske just stop! There is something I have to tell you...."
He looked at me still and I grimaced with tears in my eyes "You can't love me the way you do...."
"What are you talking about Anju? You didn't seem to have a problem with it last night"
"I am a stupid heartless girl and I let you take advantage of my vulnerability. I felt weak, and I thought you could protect me, but I see you only want me for pleasure. No more Sano no more!" I'm crying now, staring to sob shaking uncontrollably "Sano...you are my best friend and always have been...why can't it just remain that way"
"NO" he slammed his fist against the table and his saki cup shook and moved slightly "I won't just pretend I don't love you! I've loved you since we were little kids! But we were little then! Then you suddenly disappeared from my life! I waited for you all this time, I told you I'd never forget you. You finally come back, this is my chance. I want you" He moved closer to me and took my hand "Why won't you love me Anju? Didn't you love me as a kid?"
"Sano I loved you, but we were kids. We were twelve years old for God's sake! I moved on, I left this world behind in my memories. I can't live in the past anymore and abandon the life I have now!"
"Why not? I've given everything up waiting for you!"
"You shouldn't have Sano! I am nothing but a retched girl! My heart is black and I can't keep playing this game"
"Anju..." He grabbed my arm and I slapped him in the face sobbing uncontrollably.
"Sano you idiot. You can't have me! You just CAN"T! DO YOU HEAR ME! NO, NO MEANS NO! I'm not that little girl anymore. I'm a swordsman! I'm the master of my style. I was and still am the air to my family's fortune! I can't go back to being that carefree tomboy! My parents are dead Sano! They didn't more than a week ago! It's been 4 days! I'm trying to be strong. But I'm just a weak little girl! I can't do this I can't lie to your face, and I can't lie to myself! Sano I'm engaged! That was my parents' final wishes! I'm engaged to the man I fell in love with, the man who saved my life! AOSHI SHINAMORI! Aoshi is my fiancé! I tried to tell you, but I fell weak to my darker side, with the temptations! I'm a retched girl! I'm sorry for hurting you Sano. I really am! I know I can never ask for your forgiveness, let alone our friendship! But I can't lie to you! I won't betray Aoshi! He saved my life and I will never EVER hurt him again!"
I covered my eyes hysterically crying, and I collapsed to my knees, furiously shaking. Sano stood there awestricken and I heard someone call my name.
"Anju? ANJU!" I felt someone shaking me.
"Go away. Go away, please go away"
"Anju open your eyes." I slowly removed my hands, to see Aoshi kneeling in front of me with a handful of roses. "Anju...I heard...."
I couldn't even let him finish. I could only cover my mouth in shock, he knew what happened, and now he'd never forgive me. I stood up and quickly ran out the door of the shop. Both Aoshi and Sano quickly ran after me but Ms. Tae blocked the door
"MOVE IT YOU WOMAN" Aoshi screamed
"NO Mr. Shinamori I can't! You already know whom she loves! Why must you harm this girl even more. She's lost everything in her entire life. Her parents and brother stricken from her! Her childhood friend wants her for more then friendship and her having to reject him. She lost her best friend! She's lost everything Mr. Shinamori. If you go after her now, she'll leave you, and she'd lose the only man she has left."
"MOVE WOMAN MOVE" He took her arms and shook her, but Ms. Tae firmly held onto the doorway
"Mr. Shinamori if you love that girl at all you will let her go" He suddenly stopped looking at her. Her face was afraid but she was being strong, something I truly never could have done.
"You heard the story! I know you are enraged and worried! But right now she's lost, if she can't figure out who she is without you, you'll lose her forever! You fell in love with the girl for all she is, and if that's taken from her, you'll be only destroying her! I beg of you Mr. Shinamori LET HER GO!"
Aoshi took a step back, looking at his shaking hands. He only could cover his mouth choking on his own back Anju...."
I took off down the street running. Tears fell from my eyes, and everything went numb. I didn't know where I was going, or what I was leaving behind. All I knew, was I had to find myself. As I ran I ripped the hat from my hair and threw off the apron as well.
I ran and ran and soon the town was only a small speck in the bleak horizon I left behind. I pumped my legs so hard, I ran past Hikaru's home, I ran past the temple. I kept running until I was lost deep within the thicket of the woods.
I stumbled as I went, weak with exhaustion and hunger. I would trip over the willow tree roots occasionally and part of my kimono was torn on a sharp branch. As I leaned up against a willow tree I felt the bandage on my hand and my memories of that night came flooding back to me. I quickly ripped the bandage from my cheek, ripping off the newly fresh scab and blood began to pour from it.
I looked down at my hands, and I saw that I was still shaking. I held myself tight crying for my mother and father. I missed them so dearly, I wanted to find Tai, and Kip. I wished that Grandmother Meiko and Grandfather were here.
I thought back to see Kyoto in those ruins and fiery ablaze. I remembered the dead corpses and all the innocently murdered children. I curled up in a ball, and cried harder, I did not realize that it had started to rain, and soon the skies grew dark, just as dark as my own soul.
"Little girl lost in the woods?" I smug voice replied from an unknown source. It felt as if his voice was all around me and I stood up quickly
'Who's out there?"
"So we meet again..." A figure now appeared in the white fog "Anju-Akira" I looked to my horror to see the Hitokiri Batosi before me.
"You....found me..."
"Indeed my dear. This was nothing more than a worthless game of hide and goes seek. But now that I found you, you're no longer it, now you're to die." He drew his sword and it shimmered with the raindrops I took a step back completely speechless with fright. "Are you prepared to die Little Anju?"
I could only scream out in pure terror and start aimlessly running the way I came. I could hear his voice all around me.
"Come now. Do you really think you can escape your own death?"
"I don't know but I sure as hell can try" I screamed as I kept running. I knew for a fact he was taunting me. I knew that he enjoyed playing this game of chase. I could feel my violet eyes shifting, I was changing. I could feel the anger boiling inside of me and I felt myself pick up in speed.
'Damn you! You got fast girl" he called out, and I could feel him quickening his own pace.
By the time the Batosi had caught up to me my eyes were completely black. He stopped looking at me shocked, afraid to see that I myself was in the state I was in.
"Tell me Batosi, when you look in the mirror what do you see?"
"I uhh... I see my reflection of course"
'You lie. You see nothing. Your eyes are hallowed and empty, your smile is bland, your hair is split and withered, your skin tough and tight from all your frowning. You are a worthless soul Batosi. You feel that taking the lives of the innocent will make you feel and turn into a superior, but all it does it make you fall deeper into your state of denial"
"You lie you witch!" He screamed at me. But I only began to laugh
'You are a heartbroken little boy."
"What do you know?" He finally replied unsteadily. I was slowly breaking down his walls of protection.
"That scar on your cheek, it releases the emotions of heartbreaks and love. The woman you once loved you killed yourself. On your conquest for self- satisfaction you killed the one most dear to you."
"NO" He screamed back as he hit me across the face. My face only shifted to the side, the pain not felt.
"Your hands are permanently stained with her blood. You murderer, you thought you could once love, but you know as well as I do that your heart is as black as mine"
"NO" He screamed again uncertain and now afraid. He looked down at his hands, and to his surprise his hands had a tinge of red to them. He grabbed his head and screamed shaking back and forth, completely senile.
I walked up to him slowly and poked him on the forehead.
'Looks like you're it again, we will fight again. Next time Batosi, don't be so easy to break down and fall"
The Batosi looked at me, so confused, he did not recall this girl when he had met her at the manor. She hadn't acted this way before. Before she was only a cowardly little girl. What happened to her.... The Batosi disappeared and shouted in the wind.
"I will fight you again Anju-Akira. I will kill you and your husband! I will meet you during the next new moon!"
I then realized, that the next new moon would be right after my wedding. I would be married to Aoshi just in time to die? My eyes flickered back to violet, and I fell to the ground weak.
"Oh God no...Aoshi...help..."
I was afraid. I was afraid of my self. My past was resurfacing, I had done so well to control this manslayer power. It had come to me when Hiko taught me the ultimate technique, and never once had I harmed someone. I guess, looking into a fellow manslayer's eyes trigger the past.
I remembered leaving Aoshi and Sano behind in the Akabeko. I wondered, what had happened to them. I didn't even know where I was, I had run so far, and my body ached.
"Aoshi..." I cried out desperately. I was fading slowly. The echoing sound of a wolf's cry filled my ears. I heard the faint sound of footsteps, and I only cried softly, feeling my tears slide off my cheeks and hit the damp soil below.
I had long since forgotten it was raining. So much had happened, their deaths, Tai, Kip, Sano, Aoshi, The Batosi, the rain, everything was hitting me at once. I could only believe what the Batosi had told me, I was only a weak girl...a weak girl with no heart...
((I wanted to apologize right now, in the last two chapters I used the word Sake instead of Saki. Sorry for any confusion))
Introduction
Each person has two sides their dark, and their light. Each side reflecting a part of whom we are. But mostly, we fall waste to the dark side, too weak to fight the temptations that taunt us each day.
Maybe the entire world is dark, and only a few are the light that able us to see. All we are, and all we have to be; hiding behind what the world wants us to be, and wishing we weren't what we were.
Or maybe I have it backwards. Maybe the entire world is bright and shining like the sun that hangs high in the summer skies. Maybe I am the one who is the pure dark, maybe I am the devil who taunts you all. What if I am the one you break before, wanting the temptations, needing those temptations. Who am I?
Chapter 4 Resurfacing
That night, after our many moments of intense seduction and erotic I pulled away from Sano. I could feel myself growing more and more conscious of what I was doing. Was I an idiot? I knew that I had a many waiting for me at home. I felt so atrocious. Aoshi and I may have fought, but look how quickly I have fallen to temptation and betrayed him.
"Sano. There's something I have to tell you"
But Sano didn't listen as I turned away from him. He only walked up behind me and nibbled at my ear. I quickly swatted him away like he was a pesky horse fly. I had to be strong, and turn down this deep love. Sanouske was a childhood friend, and we had left our emotions long behind ourselves as we went our separate ways.
I had Aoshi now. I was his fiancé, and it was official. In a month I would be married, honoring mother and father. I felt Sano's hands soaring up from my waist to my breasts; I turned around abruptly and slapped him. He was acting no better then Aoshi had been.
"You pervert! Stop it right now Sanouske"
Sano brought his hand to his cheek looking at me with a deep mix of confusion, sadness, and shock. But the he smiled and his eyes shone again. I could nearly melt in those azure eyes.
"Anju. I'm sorry...my desires became too overpowering.... but God!" he turned away clenching his fists and closed his eyes. I looked at his fists and watched them shake "Why did you have to come back Anju? I was nearly over you, and then you came back to me. I was so happy to see you, but you only make me want you even more. Anju...."I could see Sano was crying. The last time he cried, was when he had said goodbye to me.
I very guardedly walked over to him. I took his fists into my hands and he turned to look at me.
"I am sorry for slapping you Sanouske. But...we can't do this...we were childhood friends. There's something I have to tell you"
As I began to tell him of Aoshi I heard a voice coming from the stairs that led up to the house. I figured it was Hikaru.
"I better go Anju. Don't worry though, I don't love you any less for slapping me. I got too carried away. I'll see you tomorrow. Good night angel from the sky."
He pecked my cheek and then ran down the temple stairs out of my sight. I turned and started walking back to the cabin. I tried to keep my poise. I knew that, in my heart, the right thing to do was tell Aoshi. But if it was this one incident, and nothing ever happened again it wouldn't matter. Besides, Aoshi and I were already in a fight, and I was already at a small level still mad at him.
I decided, that only Sanouske and I would know this incident. If Sano did pull something again, I would have to confront myself with the question of whom I truly loved. When I knew the answer, I would definitely tell Aoshi.
I walked up the temple stairs and entered the house sighing, I then straightened myself and called out
"I'm home Aunt Hikaru and Aoshi. I'm sorry if I worried either of you. I ran into some old friends!"
Hikaru appeared from the east hallway and smiled as she saw me enter.
"Ah dearie you're home. How was your day Anju dear?"
"Hikaru I got a job in town! This way, I can pay some of the bills for the extra expenses Aoshi and I caused you."
"Dear that is wonderful. Did I hear you say you ran into some old friends?"
"Oh yes I did Hikaru! I ran into my old friends Sanouske Sagara and Raijuta the sword maker" "Anju, it is wonderful you have found your old friends. That is indeed fortunate for you. So, has anyone seen your brother?"
"Unfortunately no Hikaru. But I have much hope. The old man in town said that many weary travelers take refuge in this town. If I wait long enough, I know that I will find him."
"Good, very good, keep your head high. He will return, I can feel it in my old bones."
"Hikaru, where is Aoshi?"
"Aoshi?" She looked at me surprised "Well, he is out back. He said he needed to vent some anger. I figure you to had a fight?"
"Yes. Because of this dress you made me wear"
I could only see a smirk fly across her face "I told you, you're irresistible. I think it better you two call it truce though"
"You old fox. Trying to make trouble for me. But yes, better to fix the broken..."
We both bowed to each other and I made my way to the back quarters. I looked around the house, but I couldn't find him. After I had showered and changed, I sighed finally being back in my comfortable kimono. As I exited our bedroom, I heard Aoshi let out a grunt. I looked up and I saw him training.
I ducked behind a wooden pillar and watched him train. Aoshi's movements were sharp and clean with his sword, his style different then mine. Though I wanted to look away, I found my eyes drawn to him. I watched as Aoshi sliced the wooden manikins into many small pieces. In his eyes, I saw a look, I had never seen.
For once in my life, I saw Aoshi's eyes. They screamed out to me, sadness. I wondered what Aoshi was so upset about. Even after his parents death he didn't have this look in his eyes. He swung again, destroying another manikin.
He fell back into a more repetitive practice of just simple slices. I walked out onto the grass, but as he turned and slashed a manikin that was near my left I was shot back by the force of his swipe. I fell back onto my backside and Aoshi stopped dropping his sword on the ground as he ran over to me
"Anju, Anju-san are you okay?" he checked over me carefully, seeing only a small cut on my cheek. He pulled out a handkerchief and dabbed the blood away. "I'm so stupid" he muttered cleaning my cheek. I grabbed his hand with mine and I shook my head and laughed
"I guess we're even. You spied on me when I trained and I spied on you. It's all equal now."
"But...you didn't hurt me..."
"Yes I did. I slapped you earlier today. I am sorry that I harmed you. If we are to be married, we have to learn to put up with each other better."
He looked at me, and then looked at my hand, which still firmly held onto his.
"I am sorry 't help myself...you're so beautiful" he looked away staring out at all the broken pieces of wood from the manikins. "Did I really do all that?"
"Yeah, you did. But Aoshi, you seemed so sad, what's wrong Aoshi-Chan? Why did your eyes scream out that you were paining?"
Aoshi looked at me again surprised. He looked at me, staring into my eyes, and then smiled.
"I was sad because we fought Anju-San. I thought about you all day. I really wanted to go to that restaurant with you."
"Well. I actually got a job at the Akabeko. So, you can come see me any time you feel like it."
"Really? You mean it?"
"Of course you can, you are my fiancé after all."
There was a moment of silence after that. It hurt in a way, to know that I wasn't free, and I was to be married. But at the same time I was excited. I knew Aoshi was a good man. Aoshi looked down at me and smiled. He picked me up gently and started walking.
"Let's get you back to our room so I can clean up that cut. Anju...I'm sorry"
"I am sorry too Aoshi. Please forgive me."
"How could I not?" he asked laughing as he placed me down on our bed. He walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a bandage and some cleaning alcoholics. Aoshi took a cotton ball and dabbed with the alcohol and then quickly patted it against my cut. I grimaced and pushed his hand off.
"That burns Aoshi!" I moaned in pain, I was acting like a little girl.
"Look we're almost done" He patted my face again and I yipped in pain.
"Oww Aoshi it really hurts!" I burned my flesh so bad it made my ears swell up. Aoshi then kissed my cheek quickly and then placed the bandage over it.
"Did that help at all?" he asked grinning.
"No..." but then I grinned to "Okay, maybe just a little" I laid back on the bed and smiled "Thank you for fixing me Doctor Shinamori."
He loomed above me and smiled still "Anytime Anju-san, anytime."
I could only beam a grin even harder. Aoshi slowly leaned down and I closed my eyes as his hand slid behind my head. We shared our first kiss. It lasted for what seemed like ages. Aoshi pulled away for a moment, his lips still only a few inches from mine. He closed his eyes again and kissed me harder.
He held me tight and kissed me again and again. Each time he kissed me, the feeling grew warmer and warmer inside of me and he embraced me harder and harder. After an hour of our embracing and kissing he let me go and plopped down in the bed beside me.
We stayed quiet for a little while. Aoshi looked at me with his beautiful hazel eyes. This look always was one I never had seen before. His eyes looked so loving and happy. I wondered what he thought, and my face grew serious, as if trying to decipher him.
"Anju-san, why did you grow so serious?"
"Oh. Sorry Aoshi, I was just wondering what you were thinking about"
He laid his head back on his pillow and laughed. "Is that all?"
I stuttered embarrassed. "Well I was curious"
He rolled back over and smiled gently looking at me. "I was only thinking of how lucky I was to marry such a beautiful and loving girl."
I felt myself melt and leapt into him and he hugged me tightly. I buried my face deep in his chest, and I listened to that ever-comforting sound of his heartbeat. I felt his chest rise and fall with each breath he took in. He kissed the top of my head gently and whispered to me lightly.
"I love you Anju-San..."
I cried softly into his bare chest and kept myself close whispering faintly. "I love you too, Aoshi-Chan"
Together we fell asleep. The first night since the fire where we actually fell asleep instantly, rapt in our dreams. We slept together still embraced and I could feel murmur in his sleep and I could only giggle. That night seemed to last forever, but just as I closed my eyes, it was morning again.
I reminded myself I had to work for Ms. Tae today. I quickly did my morning trainings, meditations, showered, dressed and ate. I peaked my head back in our bedroom and found Aoshi still asleep. I knelt down beside him and kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear.
"I'm going to the Akabeko to start my first day of work. Hikaru will give you directions, I love you."
He moaned a little but laughed as I kissed him again "I love you too...I'll be there..." He rolled back over and went back to sleep. I only rolled my eyes and ran out the door.
I did not take me long to get to town, but I hesitated a moment, not wanting to run into Sano. I knew that this was very futile because he already knew I'd be here. I prayed with all my might that he wouldn't be there the moment I would arrive. I knew that today I would have to tell him. After what Aoshi and I established last night, I couldn't go on playing these mind games with Sano.
I entered the Akabeko, and much to my relief Sano wasn't there. Ms. Tae only greeted me, so thankful I was to see her face.
"Well good morning Ms. Akira. You ready for your first day?"
I bowed to her politely "Yes Ms. Tae. I hope I can do you proud"
We only both laughed at our formality. Ms. Tae took me in the back where she gave me my uniform, apron, and childish hat. We first began the morning by scrubbing down every table and fluffing every pillow where the customers would sit.
After that hour of preparation, Ms. Tae turned the sign to open.
It did not take long until the first family entered. For a moment, I felt my heart leap into my throat as I family with a boy and girl walked in. But I swallowed my pain and put on a cheery smile.
'Welcome to the Akabeko! A table for four correct please follows me?"
I filled this families order fairly quickly and soon they thanked me gratefully as they ate their beef stew. That family, I would realize, always visited daily, even if they didn't eat, they would come to check up on me. It seemed that this one strange family became my second family.
As soon as it seemed they sat down, they stood up and left.
"Thank you for excellent service. Ms. Tae was smart to hire you" The father replied placing a few coins in my hands as he shook it. I could only bow and smile
"Thank you for your generosity." The father only winked, and the mother smiled as she said she wish she had a daughter like me. Her own daughter moaned, but I teased her and said she could grow up to be just like me. The girl clapped her hands excitedly and they exited.
I went to Ms. Tae offering her the tip, but she only smiled and said that whatever money came my way, could be used on my wedding. I took a step back shocked, and I wondered how she knew.
"Mr. Raijuta stopped in while you were busy for his usual cup of saki. He told me the story."
"Does Sanouske know yet?"
'No. He doesn't."
'Good. I want to be the one to tell him"
"Sure is a shame. That boy will be heartbroken again"
I grew sad "I don't mean to hurt him...."
"Anju we all know that, its part of life, we move on, and we fall in love. The longer you stay with your memories, the longer you live in the past. Unfortunately, that is something Sanouske will learn the hard way."
She nodded to me, and then I turned to greet more customers. The thought of telling Sano still stayed in the back of my mind as the day drew on. I noted, that Sanouske hadn't visited the restaurant once today, and I was hoping I could see him before Aoshi.
As the clock near the entrance chimed three, I saw him enter the shop. I pretended I had not seen it was he as I bowed and greeted him like any other.
"Hello welcome to the Akabeko. How many in your party?"
"Well Lil Missie. Seems like someone's hard at work."
I looked up and smiled. It was hard, to stay unease when talking to a friend "Oh. Hello Sanouske. Good afternoon. I'm guessing you want the usual table like Ms. Tae told me about?"
"Yup. Wouldn't have it any other way"
Sanouske walked behind me, and I couldn't help but feel my neck grow clammy with sweat. Sanouske just stared up at the ceiling with his hands behind his head like nothing ever happened. He sat down and I didn't bother getting him a menu
"Your beef stew and saki will be here shortly" I hissed as I turned and walked off. I heard Sano call my name, but I told myself to keep walking...and much to my surprise, I did.
As I stood in the kitchen, his order in my hands, I begged Ms. Tae not to make me go out there. She only turned me around and pushed me towards the door.
'Anju, if you don't face him now. You'll only be running away. I know you don't want to hurt a friend, but you'll only be hurting yourself by not...TELLING HIM" Her last two words were shouted to me as she pushed me out the door.
I walked frostily over to his table and I served him his beef stew and sake. I stood there glaring at him for a moment, maybe a moment too long. He took a sip of his sake, and with his eyes closed he replied
"You're here to talk to me about last night"
"Yes." I said all too unenthusiastically
"I don't regret what I did. You're the only one for me and that's that. I love you and ---"
"STOP" I screamed at him. I gripped onto my tray for dear life as he looked up at me surprised. He stood up and tried to take my hands, but I only shoved the tray at him. "Stop Sanouske just stop! There is something I have to tell you...."
He looked at me still and I grimaced with tears in my eyes "You can't love me the way you do...."
"What are you talking about Anju? You didn't seem to have a problem with it last night"
"I am a stupid heartless girl and I let you take advantage of my vulnerability. I felt weak, and I thought you could protect me, but I see you only want me for pleasure. No more Sano no more!" I'm crying now, staring to sob shaking uncontrollably "Sano...you are my best friend and always have been...why can't it just remain that way"
"NO" he slammed his fist against the table and his saki cup shook and moved slightly "I won't just pretend I don't love you! I've loved you since we were little kids! But we were little then! Then you suddenly disappeared from my life! I waited for you all this time, I told you I'd never forget you. You finally come back, this is my chance. I want you" He moved closer to me and took my hand "Why won't you love me Anju? Didn't you love me as a kid?"
"Sano I loved you, but we were kids. We were twelve years old for God's sake! I moved on, I left this world behind in my memories. I can't live in the past anymore and abandon the life I have now!"
"Why not? I've given everything up waiting for you!"
"You shouldn't have Sano! I am nothing but a retched girl! My heart is black and I can't keep playing this game"
"Anju..." He grabbed my arm and I slapped him in the face sobbing uncontrollably.
"Sano you idiot. You can't have me! You just CAN"T! DO YOU HEAR ME! NO, NO MEANS NO! I'm not that little girl anymore. I'm a swordsman! I'm the master of my style. I was and still am the air to my family's fortune! I can't go back to being that carefree tomboy! My parents are dead Sano! They didn't more than a week ago! It's been 4 days! I'm trying to be strong. But I'm just a weak little girl! I can't do this I can't lie to your face, and I can't lie to myself! Sano I'm engaged! That was my parents' final wishes! I'm engaged to the man I fell in love with, the man who saved my life! AOSHI SHINAMORI! Aoshi is my fiancé! I tried to tell you, but I fell weak to my darker side, with the temptations! I'm a retched girl! I'm sorry for hurting you Sano. I really am! I know I can never ask for your forgiveness, let alone our friendship! But I can't lie to you! I won't betray Aoshi! He saved my life and I will never EVER hurt him again!"
I covered my eyes hysterically crying, and I collapsed to my knees, furiously shaking. Sano stood there awestricken and I heard someone call my name.
"Anju? ANJU!" I felt someone shaking me.
"Go away. Go away, please go away"
"Anju open your eyes." I slowly removed my hands, to see Aoshi kneeling in front of me with a handful of roses. "Anju...I heard...."
I couldn't even let him finish. I could only cover my mouth in shock, he knew what happened, and now he'd never forgive me. I stood up and quickly ran out the door of the shop. Both Aoshi and Sano quickly ran after me but Ms. Tae blocked the door
"MOVE IT YOU WOMAN" Aoshi screamed
"NO Mr. Shinamori I can't! You already know whom she loves! Why must you harm this girl even more. She's lost everything in her entire life. Her parents and brother stricken from her! Her childhood friend wants her for more then friendship and her having to reject him. She lost her best friend! She's lost everything Mr. Shinamori. If you go after her now, she'll leave you, and she'd lose the only man she has left."
"MOVE WOMAN MOVE" He took her arms and shook her, but Ms. Tae firmly held onto the doorway
"Mr. Shinamori if you love that girl at all you will let her go" He suddenly stopped looking at her. Her face was afraid but she was being strong, something I truly never could have done.
"You heard the story! I know you are enraged and worried! But right now she's lost, if she can't figure out who she is without you, you'll lose her forever! You fell in love with the girl for all she is, and if that's taken from her, you'll be only destroying her! I beg of you Mr. Shinamori LET HER GO!"
Aoshi took a step back, looking at his shaking hands. He only could cover his mouth choking on his own back Anju...."
I took off down the street running. Tears fell from my eyes, and everything went numb. I didn't know where I was going, or what I was leaving behind. All I knew, was I had to find myself. As I ran I ripped the hat from my hair and threw off the apron as well.
I ran and ran and soon the town was only a small speck in the bleak horizon I left behind. I pumped my legs so hard, I ran past Hikaru's home, I ran past the temple. I kept running until I was lost deep within the thicket of the woods.
I stumbled as I went, weak with exhaustion and hunger. I would trip over the willow tree roots occasionally and part of my kimono was torn on a sharp branch. As I leaned up against a willow tree I felt the bandage on my hand and my memories of that night came flooding back to me. I quickly ripped the bandage from my cheek, ripping off the newly fresh scab and blood began to pour from it.
I looked down at my hands, and I saw that I was still shaking. I held myself tight crying for my mother and father. I missed them so dearly, I wanted to find Tai, and Kip. I wished that Grandmother Meiko and Grandfather were here.
I thought back to see Kyoto in those ruins and fiery ablaze. I remembered the dead corpses and all the innocently murdered children. I curled up in a ball, and cried harder, I did not realize that it had started to rain, and soon the skies grew dark, just as dark as my own soul.
"Little girl lost in the woods?" I smug voice replied from an unknown source. It felt as if his voice was all around me and I stood up quickly
'Who's out there?"
"So we meet again..." A figure now appeared in the white fog "Anju-Akira" I looked to my horror to see the Hitokiri Batosi before me.
"You....found me..."
"Indeed my dear. This was nothing more than a worthless game of hide and goes seek. But now that I found you, you're no longer it, now you're to die." He drew his sword and it shimmered with the raindrops I took a step back completely speechless with fright. "Are you prepared to die Little Anju?"
I could only scream out in pure terror and start aimlessly running the way I came. I could hear his voice all around me.
"Come now. Do you really think you can escape your own death?"
"I don't know but I sure as hell can try" I screamed as I kept running. I knew for a fact he was taunting me. I knew that he enjoyed playing this game of chase. I could feel my violet eyes shifting, I was changing. I could feel the anger boiling inside of me and I felt myself pick up in speed.
'Damn you! You got fast girl" he called out, and I could feel him quickening his own pace.
By the time the Batosi had caught up to me my eyes were completely black. He stopped looking at me shocked, afraid to see that I myself was in the state I was in.
"Tell me Batosi, when you look in the mirror what do you see?"
"I uhh... I see my reflection of course"
'You lie. You see nothing. Your eyes are hallowed and empty, your smile is bland, your hair is split and withered, your skin tough and tight from all your frowning. You are a worthless soul Batosi. You feel that taking the lives of the innocent will make you feel and turn into a superior, but all it does it make you fall deeper into your state of denial"
"You lie you witch!" He screamed at me. But I only began to laugh
'You are a heartbroken little boy."
"What do you know?" He finally replied unsteadily. I was slowly breaking down his walls of protection.
"That scar on your cheek, it releases the emotions of heartbreaks and love. The woman you once loved you killed yourself. On your conquest for self- satisfaction you killed the one most dear to you."
"NO" He screamed back as he hit me across the face. My face only shifted to the side, the pain not felt.
"Your hands are permanently stained with her blood. You murderer, you thought you could once love, but you know as well as I do that your heart is as black as mine"
"NO" He screamed again uncertain and now afraid. He looked down at his hands, and to his surprise his hands had a tinge of red to them. He grabbed his head and screamed shaking back and forth, completely senile.
I walked up to him slowly and poked him on the forehead.
'Looks like you're it again, we will fight again. Next time Batosi, don't be so easy to break down and fall"
The Batosi looked at me, so confused, he did not recall this girl when he had met her at the manor. She hadn't acted this way before. Before she was only a cowardly little girl. What happened to her.... The Batosi disappeared and shouted in the wind.
"I will fight you again Anju-Akira. I will kill you and your husband! I will meet you during the next new moon!"
I then realized, that the next new moon would be right after my wedding. I would be married to Aoshi just in time to die? My eyes flickered back to violet, and I fell to the ground weak.
"Oh God no...Aoshi...help..."
I was afraid. I was afraid of my self. My past was resurfacing, I had done so well to control this manslayer power. It had come to me when Hiko taught me the ultimate technique, and never once had I harmed someone. I guess, looking into a fellow manslayer's eyes trigger the past.
I remembered leaving Aoshi and Sano behind in the Akabeko. I wondered, what had happened to them. I didn't even know where I was, I had run so far, and my body ached.
"Aoshi..." I cried out desperately. I was fading slowly. The echoing sound of a wolf's cry filled my ears. I heard the faint sound of footsteps, and I only cried softly, feeling my tears slide off my cheeks and hit the damp soil below.
I had long since forgotten it was raining. So much had happened, their deaths, Tai, Kip, Sano, Aoshi, The Batosi, the rain, everything was hitting me at once. I could only believe what the Batosi had told me, I was only a weak girl...a weak girl with no heart...