Curse of the Jin

Disclaimer: I own none of these characters. All characters that come from Fatal Fury, etc. come from SNK.

Author's Note: Important. This fanfiction assumes that Real Bout Fatal Fury (and all events associated, including stuff that happened in RBFFS and RBFFS to an extent) happened in 1996. Also, a lot of things are going to be taken from the movies and other non-canon sources. Many liberties with the stories will be taken. This will become more apparent as time goes on. The fanfiction also assumes that Garou: Mark of the Wolves happens in 2006.

Author's Note II: And now for a rather strange intermission, where Chonshu dreams he is a host for a call-in radio talk show.

Chapter 13: Intermission I

Jin Chonshu: Hello, you're tuning in to Jin Chonshu Live. I'm your host, Jin Chonshu. I'll be taking all sorts of questions, as per the severe cost, yes, the cost, of taking this job. Why? Because we always get inane callers!

Bizuki: The director is going to have a fit with that one. Well, first caller is up.

Jin Chonshu: First caller, you're on Jin Chonshu Live, tell me what's on your mind?

Some Guy: Yeah, I'm wondering if Jin Chonshu is a phonetic simplification? Isn't it something like "Qin Chonxiu", or something?

Jin Chonshu: (rolls eyes) Problems like this should be taken up to SNK Playmore, not me, man. Frankly, I'd rather not be called 'keen-chon-soo' by the ignorant. Next caller!

Some Other Guy: Dude, teach me some of that teleporting shit! I'll pay you loads, my address is 12-

Jin Chonshu: (click!) Okay, dumbasses, it's time to get one thing straight. I can't teach any of you Neanderthals my "teleporting shit"-

Bizuki: Can he even say that on the air? Could the caller even say that on the air? Oh, the FCC better not be listening to this.

Jin Chonshu: Because it's in my blood? You know, "The Blood of the Jins is the Blood of Death" and all that? It's a natural trait that I can't teach anybody. So stop calling me about it, goddamn it. Next caller!

Another Caller: Man, Chonshu, you gotta tell me how you move so fast. It would help if I want to just zip into the girl's bathroom and take a peek, there's a girl in my Chem class named Tina who's really-

Jin Chonshu: (distinct slam) (accompanied by click!) God, you think they'd put two and two together. You can't learn my uber-fast speed, because that's ALSO a natural trait! Even if you could use it, I wouldn't teach you shit, because going into a girl's bathroom? That's sick. I'm sure I'll see you in the news climbing through a window just so you could take a peek at a woman releasing waste. Damn, this is making my head hurt, and this is only the second call. Producer Bizuki, have I ever told you how much I frigging hate our callers?

Bizuki: (smile) It's one of many 'severe costs'.

Jin Chonshu: Bite your forked tongue! Next caller.

Ryuji Yamazaki: You owe me money, shorty.

Jin Chonshu: You can take it if you catch my Chinese ass, Yakuza reject.

Ryuji Yamazaki: Your ass is grass, Jin!

Jin Chonshu: Bugger off, thug! click! What the flying bleep happened to screening our calls, producer!?

Bizuki: I've no idea how that one got past us.

Jin Chonshu: Damn it, must be the director's doing. He shouldn't joke around like that.

Bizuki: Next caller's up!

Jin Chonshu: Meh. What's your name?

Seth: Seth. And keep away from King of Fighters and we'll stay on good terms, yes? I won't have to mess you up that way.

Jin Chonshu: Oh, great, some moron who thinks that threatening me over my own show is enough to validate his weak-sauce attitude. Get off your high horse, don't complain just because you're a black guy in a sea of Asians in a fighting game made by the (gasp) Japanese. Sheesh. Next caller.

Seth: Hey, I'm not finished with you-

Jin Chonshu: Yeah, but I'm finished with you. (click!) Hey, you're on the air, go.

Yukimura Sanada: How do you shut up annoying girls? Kunoichi, for instance.

Jin Chonshu: Gee, I don't know, maybe you shouldn't have hired her if you felt sorry for her, if you already knew just by looking at her that she was going to be a bit of a handful in the talking department. You sanctimonious nimrod. (click!) Next caller.

Mai Shiranui: I want a certain person to marry me, but he won't. Any advice?

Jin Chonshu: The magic 8-Ball says, "See Kyo's age". What do you know, it never changes! Just like your neverending quest to marry Andy Bogard. Just give up on it, you'll live healthier that way. (click)

Bizuki: I'm impressed, Chonshu. You actually gave sound advice there.

Jin Chonshu: Eh, it wouldn't have been so sound if I started making jokes about how Andy Bogard is a possible flamer. Next caller, hello, you're on Jin Chonshu Live.

Yuga: Ah, Chonshu. Are you still unwilling to go along with my proposition?

Jin Chonshu: I don't do deals with failures. Hell, I'm not even in the damn evil business anymore. Don't you have somewhere else to go? You know, get your ass kicked by Haohmaru? Or Asura, whoever gets to you first?

Yuga: Hmph. click

Jin Chonshu: Great, a moronic caller hung up by himself! Score one for progress!

Bizuki: Chonshu, please stop insulting our callers. One of these days, it's going to have a negative effect on our ratings, rather than a positive one- politeness is eventually more valuable than rudeness.

Jin Chonshu: I'll try, ma'am, even though this show is a very trying routine. Next caller.

CATS: How are you gentlemen!! You are on the way to destruction. You have no chance to survive make your time. (click!)

Jin Chonshu: Oh damnable hell, producer, it's those jokers again. They're probably in the station.

Bizuki: Yeah, that call was traced to inside the station. It'll be a good thing if they're in here.

Jin Chonshu: How do you figure that?

Bizuki: Because I need some target practice. (grin) (pulls out the stick of Mi-Gou)

Jin Chonshu: Right, please stay on hold while our producer beats the living shit out of the worst engrish speakers in history.

The sound of bones breaking, bodies crushing, flesh tearing apart, people slamming into the walls, floors, ceilings, and the unearthly screams of Bizuki's victims fill the air. Jin Chonshu, meanwhile, has set the show to replay 'Pandora's Box 1' as Bizuki performs Pinball after Pinball attack.

Bizuki: Whew. Done here. Shall we get back to the show?

Jin Chonshu: Ewww, wipe off all that blood, producer.

Bizuki: Hah, whoops. Anyways, here's the next caller.

Jin Chonshu: Getting right to it. Next caller, you're on the air.

The End: What would you recommend for my eyes? They're ( bleep)ing everywhere, and a sniper can't exactly do well if his eyes are like mine.

Jin Chonshu: Clearasil. Ha, kidding, no, what I really mean is that there's nothing you can do. You're in your hundreds or something, right? You can't reverse advanced aging like yours. Sorry, I mean, you're a corpse. A photosynthesing corpse, but still a corpse. click Next caller!

Duck King: You've got to know why the won't add me in anymore games…

Jin Chonshu: But you're in plenty of games-

Duck King: As a background character.

Jin Chonshu: … Well… I suppose it doesn't help that you're-

Duck King: What, I'm a background character again in Neo Geo Battle Coliseum? Yeah, I heard that. How the (bleep) did YOU get in!?

Jin Chonshu: Don't have a hernia, man.

Duck King: You're a worthless, sardonic bastard, nothing like an expert musician like me. You don't got my skills!

Jin Chonshu: Yeah, right. Considering you were pulling an MC Hammer schtick before Real Bout Fatal Fury, and then afterwards started whoring yourselves out as another DJ for Southtown.

Duck King: Damn you!-

Jin Chonshu: Thank you very much for that call. (click!)

Bizuki: You've even gone and pissed off the Duck King.

Jin Chonshu: Is there nothing I can't do? Next caller, you're up!

HK-47: Fact: Your sarcasm sucks. Suggestion: Stop clogging up airwaves, meatbag.

Jin Chonshu: Fact: You're a gimmick. Suggestion: Go suck a dry one. (click) Next caller!

Rugal Bernstein: Shall we continue?

Jin Chonshu: Ah, Rugal. I suppose we shall.

Bizuki: Uh, Chonshu? What is all this about?

Jin Chonshu: Oh, you'll see… You begin, Rugal.

Rugal Bernstein: I've got one hundred secret bases scattered not only across the globe, but also underground and in space!

Jin Chonshu: I own a pocket dimension.

Bizuki: Sigh… It's a pissing contest then.

Rugal Bernstein: You got it! Well… That's not bad… I've got enough wealth to trump Donald Trump, Warren Buffett, and Bill Gates!

Jin Chonshu: I've got enough wealth to make all the combined dynasties of China seem like a lemonade stand!

Rugal Bernstein: Oh, and I suppose that's all in non-liquid artifacts? An ancient vase that could crumble at the touch of a toothpick? A model boat that's falling apart?

Jin Chonshu: Oh, ouch, you have me there. Well, I'm more effeminate!

Rugal Bernstein: My son's more effeminate! Wait, I mean…

Jin Chonshu: HA!

Rugal Bernstein: Grrrr… Foiled again! Another time, Jin! (click!)

Jin Chonshu: No need to be sore, hehe.

Bizuki: Are you done?

Jin Chonshu: Yeah, yeah… Next caller, you're up.

A Poor Fool: So you readily admit that you look like a girl? Ha, what a loser.

Jin Chonshu: Hey, mister clever! Why don't you go try conquering the world, maybe once? You've got the balls to call me a loser over the air, but do you have the balls to do that? Nope! At least I've got the mental fortitude to accept how people view my design- all you've got going for yourself is, what? Insecure insults? (click)

Bizuki: He touch a nerve?

Jin Chonshu: Nah, the whole thing is overplayed. Next caller, what do you want?

SNK Fan: Hey, yeah… Duck King has a point- why are you in Neo Geo Battle Coliseum? No, not trying to piss you off like the other callers, it's an honest question. Inquiring minds really want to know.

Jin Chonshu: The most polite call I've heard all day. I have to admit that there is a bit of shoto in me, albeit with a few tricks… That doesn't do much for the roster. However, I am a bit of a unique character in certain designs with comparison to a lot of others within the SNK universe. You know how Ryuhaku Todoh was added instead of Kasumi Todoh in SNK Vs. Capcom 2? And how Maki was added instead of Guy in the same game? Not to mention Raiden over Tizoc? Diversity is better for a game than adding just all the cool people in.

Bizuki: Well said.

Jin Chonshu: You are too kind, producer. Alrighty… Next caller, your question?

Damnable Newbie: Hey, so in SFAC, I can't pull off Yun's Mantis Slashes-

Jin Chonshu: One, you mean Yang. Two, this isn't a effing Capcom hotline! (click) Sheesh, the nerve of these people.

Music Addict: Hi, yeah… I'm not really here to ask a question, I was just wondering if you guys could play Pasta from the Garou Symphonic Soundtrack, the one you played yesterday?

Jin Chonshu: Other than the guy who asked why I was in NGBC, that's the best call today!

Bizuki: Right, just going to put it on…

Jin Chonshu: You do that. Also, have the commercials come on right after. I'm gonna have me a little nap… Man… This stuff takes a lot of energy out of you…

"Oh, what the douche?!" Chonshu said, waking from his stupor. He was sitting on a cold hard floor, covered in a blanket and having risen from a single pillow, and the room was rocking slightly. Oh yeah, they were on a ship, and… Wait, what in the hell was that dream all about? Some Shinto priestess named Bizuki, and he was still a kid…

Damn, and he thought he was used to sleeping on the cold floor of a ship…

Well, Hotaru was already up and about, the only thing on the bed was sheets and a pillow…

And Billy Kane-

"Excuse me, sir, are you awake?" A soft female voice said, from behind the door of the room. "My brother, Billy, is out on the top deck. As is Miss Hotaru- my brother wants to speak to you, sir."

End of Chapter 13.

Author's Note: Happy New Year, guys. Hope you enjoyed that, I needed the intermission to figure out how to go about the next few scenes…