Thanks for the reviews :) I really appreciate them LOL Also for the editing I'm not english so I am doing my best and if there are any one out there that would like to beta read and help me correct the grammar ( you know we have different word following in the language I speak) I would be more than happy to have that kind of help :) If there are anyone oút there this is my mail; hemlunda2000yahoo.se.
Thanks again for the reviews :)
Beneath the surface - Chapter 4
The ride back the Cohen's went in silence. Neither Kirsten nor Ryan said anything since both of them were too occupied with other things on their mind. Kirsten was thinking of the news she heard over at the drugstore, gossip no doubt but still…, and now she was trying to find out a way to approach her foster son without sounding too accusing. If it had been Seth that had lied about such an issue she would have hit his butt but this was Ryan and Kirsten never knew how to have a conversation with him. He was too much of the silent type and those people always made her a bit uneasy
Ryan stared out of the window. His thoughts trailed off towards his mother and even though he could feel the letter safely tucked inside his shirt he was still wondering what news she had for him. He was also afraid what the letter would say. With Dawn you never knew what to expect, that was one thing he came to conclusion during the years with her. The life she was living left much to desire and her drug and alcohol abuse had scared him more than once. He hoped that this wasn't one of those letters when she said goodbye to him and he was left on his own again. Ok it wasn't entire on his own since he had the Cohen's and they had asked to adopt him as their son. Even if he knew that he would be safe and sound no matter what the letter made him feel sick to his stomach and groaned involuntary. Kirsten most has sensed his discomfort since she was fast with her words.
"Everything's all right?"
He could tell that the concerned blue eyes were doing their best to decide whether or not there were an emergency and he smiled back at her, reassuringly.
"Yeah I'm fine."
"Good."
He'd steeled himself for more questions and was a bit surprise when none of them happened. Instead she turned her attention back to the wheel again. Ryan however wasn't so sure that she wouldn't bring up what was bothering her another time and even if he didn't want to think it he thought that he might have something to do with the situation. She'd acted weird ever since she came back from the drugstore, like something was bothering her and she was about to spill it out. Silently he tried to figure out what it could be but stopped after a while. Kirsten had looked at him several times and some of them he opened his mouth like she wanted to talk but then closed it just as fast again. This was not the Kirsten that Ryan knew. Usually Mrs Cohen was very talkative and the subject that she didn't dare to bring up hadn't been invented yet. That was until now…
Parking the car Kirsten announced that they were back at his house and Ryan quickly excused himself that he had to go to the bathroom and then he was going to a short nap before dinner. With that he walked quickly into the pool house, closing the door beside him. He wanted, no he needed to be alone since he wanted to read the letter in peace and quiet. To his surprise Kirsten had accepted the excuse without any questions and soon he would find himself all alone in the poorhouse. Pulling the envelope out from under his shirt he tossed it on the bedspread and then proceeded to take off his sweater. It was hot in the pool house and mentally he decided to turn down the thermostat.
Catching a glance at the envelope he found that it was stamped which meant that she had thought of posting it but then had changed her mind. For some strange reason he felt his stomach flutter with nervousness at the mere thought of reading the letter and for a moment he toyed with the idea of not opening it. What if his mother was leaving him again? Forever? The curiosity got the best out of him and with that he picked up the envelope, wondering what wise words his mother had left for him. Probably not many since Dawn were not a woman of many words. Not like Kirsten who was well educated and well-behaved. She had class. Not like his mother that barely had graduated out of high school.
Fingering on the envelope he noticed that it was stained, probably coffee stain since his mom was such a coffee addict. That was the liquid she used when she was trying to sober up after a binge of drinking and Ryan couldn't even count the times when he'd tried to get her into shape before going down to the club and work as a waitress. A familiar scent could be noticed from the envelope. It was the scent of his mom's sweet cheap perfume mixed with the wine she'd been drinking. Not that he thought that paper could catch the scent; no it was more the memories that dwelled up inside of him.
Memories from when he was a little boy sitting on his moms lap. That was way before she started to drink all the time and before the only smell that filled the room was the cheap alcohol she and her men consumed on daily basis. Grinning he decided that he could laugh himself lucky that Seth was out with the flu today since he would have called him a perv if he was to walk in on him, sniffing on an envelope.
Just when he was about to open the letter the phone gave away a shrill signal. With a groan he rolled out off bed and then walked over by the table. Who could be calling him now? Very few knew about his private telephone number and mostly all calls were directed to the main house. The only person that really phoned him was Marissa and tonight she had gone to a dinner with her dad and Summer had no interest in calling him. It was Seth she was after.
"Ryan here." He called out since he knew that whoever called him would know him pretty well. To his surprise there was nothing but silence on the other line. "He did another attempt, " Hello??" Still no words and he were about to hung up when a wheezy breathing could be heard on the other line. Hearing this Ryan called out, "Hello is it someone there? Marissa? Summer? Seth?" He knew that the last words was kind of stupid to call out for but there were always an possibility that Seth had gotten tired of laying around in his sick bed and wanted to play a prank on him. It would be stupid enough.
The silence was there again and annoyed that some kid, a prank caller, breathed into the phone he asked, "Who are you?" At that very moment the person on the other line hung up and Ryan groaned with dismay. He was in no mood for getting disturbed, especially not when he was about to finally find out what his mom wanted him. His heart pounded widely when he made his way back to the bed again. Opening the envelope he pulled the letter out only to notice that it was his mother's handwriting. His hands were shaking so bad that he had a hard time reading the letter.
Ryan sweetie.
You probably wonder why I'm sending you this letter but there are some things that I have to explain. First of all I'm going to have to leave the city for a while. I know that probably wondering why but I can't tell you that. All I can say is that it's for the better and that I will miss you while I'm gone. I'm sure that you're doing great over at the Cohen's and that they are nice and all. It's better this way. Trust me honey. I will miss you and don't try to come looking for me. It will..I mean…Oh I don't know what to write so I think I will leave off for now. See you later honey and take care.
Dawn
Ps. Don't try and contact me…I call you.
The words danced in front of his eyes. What did she mean? That she was leaving him for good? Why wasn't he allowed to contact her? Was she in some kind of trouble? Nothing made any sense and Ryan read the letter over and over again. Where was she going and why couldn't she tell him where she went? There were so many questions, yet so few answers. His thoughts were disturbed when a sudden knock could be heard on the door. Quickly he hid the letter under his pillow and then turned around only to see Seth standing there in his navy blue bathrobe and slippers. His brown hair was sticking up in all kinds of directions and the red blotches on his cheeks told him that they were red from fever and his nose looked like a stop sign in colour. Fire truck red. In other words he looked like sheer and utter hell.
"Mom said you might be in here since she said you weren't feeling one hundred percent." Seth's voice is thick almost dark, like he was going through puberty, with the cold he's suffering from. "You busy?"
"Nah, its ok but what you're doing here? Shouldn't you be in bed?"
Not answering Seth paddles over to the bed before sitting down on the soft bed. A harsh coughs and then he blow his nose with a well worn tissue. Loudly. Ryan's makes a face. The way his friend is acting he's just going to spread germs all place and by the look of it the flu isn't much better, if you don't count that he isn't turning his stomach inside out any longer. "Man that doesn't sound too good. Shouldn't you be in bed instead of running around outside?"
"Prolly," Seth sniffles. "I've got to talk to you about something." He lays down on the bed and then roll to his side. "It's about Summer."
"Ok." Ryan sighs. The letter would have to wait, not that he can do much about it anyways. "So what do you wanna talk to me about?"
"You saw her today?"
"Who?" Ryan frowned.
"Summer of course. You saw her?"
"No. Why?" Seth groaned. "She didn't call me after school. You think she might have caught the flu bug too?"
"Wouldn't surprise me the way you two have been playing tongue hockey lately." "I know." Seth smiled briefly then he got serious again. "But she didn't call me. She always calls me if I'm sick or something. We call each other." His tone was whiny and it was giving Ryan a headache.
"So?" What was the big deal? Ryan could feel himself getting annoyed. Maybe it was the fact that he had much more important stuff on his mind and the last thing he wanted to do was to deal with Seth's trouble with love. He didn't have the patience for it yet he said with a reassuring tone, "I'm sure it's nothing. She was probably busy or something you know going to a dinner or stuff. Marissa had to go to a dinner tonight so maybe she went along."
"You think?" Seth looked like he was in deep thoughts while he was blowing his nose several times. Ryan nodded, hoping that the answers would be enough and that Seth would settle for it but he didn't have to wait long before his foster brother filled in with his doubts. "Dude that's Marissa. I'm talking about Summer."
"Duh…"Ryan shook his head. What was so different with Summer besides hat she was Seth's girlfriend and that he were so in love with her. "What do you mean? Why would she be any different? They are both girls." He was starting to regret not telling his foster brother that he wanted to be alone.
"I think she might be tired of me."
"Tired? Why?" The blonde teenager frowned. Seth didn't make much sense today. Not that he did much sense any other day either. Today however he suspected it was because of the illness.
"She hasn't called me." The teen was absolutely serious and there were genuine panic in his voice. "I think she maybe has a new guy."
Ryan groaned inwardly. He had to come up with a solution or he would have to his foster brother jabbing all night and that was more than he could take. "Seth calm down. Summer can't keep her hands off you and she only likes you and that you know besides she probably thought you needed the rest, which you do by the way since you look like you're gonna pass out any second. I think you should go back inside and rest. " He hopes that the words will do it and that his friend gets more relaxed and also take the hint that he wanted to be alone.
But Seth took no such hint and instead he lay down on the bed, his hands under his head. "Tell me about school today. Something interesting happened? I'm bored."
"Huh?" Ryan didn't know what to say. Not much had happened besides him getting the detention but that was not something he would reveal right now. Then maybe would the stunt he pulled going to the mall be found out and then they would start asking questions and that was not something he could afford right now. First he had to do his own investigations about his mom's whereabouts before Seth Cohen was filled into the situation.
"Something fun happened? You know like there was a fight or something?" Seth pressed on making Ryan sigh in the process. The blonde was doing his best to come up with something to say when he noticed Seth put his hand under the pillow. 'Oh God,' Ryan thought, 'Please don't let him find the letter.'
But it was too late.
"What's this?" Seth asked waving the letter in his hand, curiosity shining in his eyes.
"That?" Ryan's throat went all dry and he had a hard time swallowing. The last person he wants to read the letter is Seth. At least for now. It would only lead to that the Cohen's would find out and then all hell would break loose. Ryan's own idea of investigating where his moms where about would go down the drain.
"Yes this," Seth grins like a cat that caught the bird: "Are you hiding something? Is it a love letter?" All of a sudden his concern about Summer seems all forgotten.
"No! Give it to me." Ryan reached out to snatch it but Seth won't let go off the prize.
"Is it a letter from Marissa?" When there are no answer he continue, "From that girl you know back in Chino, Theresa?
"No." Ryan shook his head, "I said give it to me." He swore that if Seth wouldn't let it go he was going to use violence but he didn't want to use it if it wasn't necessary since something told him that Kirsten wouldn't been too happy if he wrestled with her sick son.
"Is it Sondra then? You know the blonde at junior class. She has been looking at you all the time. "Seth grinned smugly and Ryan felt an urge to wipe that smug smile off his face.
"No, hand me the letter or I will be forced to use violence." Then he stopped himself. "Sondra who?" His foster brother could be so confusing sometimes.
"No one. Just checking if you were listening," Seth grinned.
Irritated Ryan did another attempt to try to snatch the letter before he had decided to turn into more forceful methods. Even tough Seth is sick he can be in a teasing mood and normally he would have played along but today there were too many thoughts crossing his mind and he was in no mood for playing hide and seek. "I said give it to me.! His tone was harsh.
It had to be something in the way his brother acted since he instantly got the letter back. "Jeeeze dude I was just kidding." Seth looked a bit hurt and normally that would have made Ryan feel a bit bad but today he did his best to protect the secret for coming out. The secret that his mom had left him. All alone again. Not answering Ryan folded it several times and then tucked it into his pants pocket. Seth most has sensed that his brother wanted to be alone since he jumped swiftly off the bed. "I have to go back inside. Mom will get totally mad if she finds out that I'm out here running a fever."
"Yeah do that." Ryan's words were short.
"You're coming in for dinner?"
"Mmmm." Ryan's thoughts had once again travelled back to his mother's words and what step he was suppose to take next. He had never been one to follow orders and he was determined to find out why she had left so quickly. Dawn had left many times but never in this way. There were something fishy going on, he just knew it.
"You want us to call when it's dinner time?" Seth asked standing in the door opening, in the draft, looking all forlorn. It was like he didn't want to leave and if Ryan would have been in a better mood he would have asked him to stay but this time he really wanted to be alone.
"Sure."
"Ok, see ya then." Finally Seth took the hint and left. As soon as he was out of the room Ryan started to make other plans and a thought popped up in his mind. He was going to make contact with his older brother Trey. Dawn might have talked to him and maybe he had even more information why their mother had left so sudden. With that on his mind he picked up the phone dialling the number to the state prison.