A/N: I'm really bad at this updating thing, aren't I? Sigh. I am incredibly
sorry for not updating, in more than a month, but with mid terms and me
being lazy with my non-existent time off it was hard. Also, I didn't know
where to take this story so it kind of just sat on my computer, waiting. I
have an idea of where to take this now, so hopefully I'll update a lot
sooner than later. Thank you for your reviews. Enjoy the chapter.
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Sakura petals surround me as the atmosphere turns pitch black. The petals are gone and now all that is left is darkness. Darkness and a voice.
" Ask and you shall understand," it murmurs.
"Ask what?" I call out.
No reply comes, then seconds later the voice repeats itself,
"Ask and you shall understand."
I try my hardest to see if anyone's there. Perhaps Seishirou is playing another mind game on me, just like he did when I got to the tree.
/I hope it's only that/ I think.
I start to feel drowsy and I blink. An over whelming feeling of panic washes over me and I blink again. Then I open my eyes.
No darkness or Sakura petals or an eerie voice surrounds me. I am back in Fuuma's room, or more precisely his bed wrapped up in his arms. I blink again and sit up. We're in the same position as we were in when I woke up before. Fuuma even has the same content facial expression on his face and right on schedule his arm tightens around me as he feels me move.
Moments later Fuuma opens his eyes, and they are brimming with emotions, emotions for me and me alone sparkle at me. I stiffen as that happens. Thoughts of what can-or more specifically what will happen next swim around in my head and all I can do is wait for it to happen. I fear it and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm now a sitting duck.
"Mm, Kamui did you sleep well?" Fuuma asks as he sits up next to me.
Pathetically enough I'm too scared to reply.
"Kamui? Kamui are you all right?"
".." Nothing.
The silence is staring to get to Fuuma and I can tell because he's starting to fidget.
"Kamui please talk to me. Is there something wrong?"
At that I look down and clutch the sheets. Fuuma sees me do so and then does the most unexpected thing. It is something that I can't even see Kotori-chan or Hokuto-chan doing to the ones that they love.
Fuuma throws his arms around me and tackles me down onto the bed, our faces inches apart with him on top of me. We're so close that I can see the tears bristling in his eyes and a look of up most worry on his face.
"Tell me what's wrong," Fuuma growls. "Please," he adds.
Once again the fear of what is to come overwhelms me and I do the only thing that comes to mind. I start to cry. My body racks with the sobs upon sobs and I clutch onto Fuuma like there is no tomorrow.
Fuuma holds me and rubs my back as I cry. He tries his hardest to calm me, which makes me feel worse.
"Shh.It's okay. Please stop crying, Kamui. I'm sorry."
Minutes of this pass by before I finally calm down and slowly let go of Fuuma.
"I'm sorry," I barely squeak out.
Fuuma nods then says, " Are you all right now?"
" Yeah, I think so."
"Care to explain what just happened?"
"It.it's just a silly reason. Don't worry about it."
"Don't worry? You wouldn't speak to me then you broke down. I don't know what tends to be on your list of things to worry about, but something like that is on mine. Please."
Fuuma doesn't finish his sentence, instead, he moves away from me.
"It's because of me isn't it? I've hurt you," Fuuma says as he speaks lowly.
A long, highly awkward moment follows before I speak to answer that. How do you explain to someone that you've already lived this moment. That they're going to hurt you. It's highly unlikely that the one this is being told to will take it well. Especially if they love you and you know that.
"I don't know how to say this," I begin.
A look of utter horror sneaks onto Fuuma's face. I suspect he thinks that I'm going to tell him that I hate him or that I don't love him. Maybe even something worse, but alas I cannot read his mind.
"You're going to change. You're going to get mad at me and leave. Hurt me even. Even-"
Fuuma interrupts with, " Change? Hurt you? How? How do you know this?"
"I, well as odd as this sounds I've-we've lived this moment before. I remember all the details so clearly."
Fuuma leans over to stifle his laughter.
"Is that all, Kamui?"
"You think it's funny don't you? Don't you!" I yell out, hurt.
"It was just a dream, Kamui. No need to get so worked up over it," Fuuma replies sternly.
"What?"
"You heard me. What you saw, whatever happened to you was only a dream."
"But, it was so real. The voices, the people. It couldn't possibly have been a dream."
"Are you saying that I'm lying? That I would do whatever I did to you in it?"
I gather up all the courage that I can and reply, " It's not like you haven't before. I still remember what you did to me, to Subaru."
He doesn't respond. Instead, Fuuma gets up and throws me my clothes.
"Get out."
His voice is as cold as ice. So are his eyes.
I wordlessly get up and dressed, still in a state of haze from the sudden reaction that just took place. When done, I look back at Fuuma and all I get is another,
"Get out."
"Fine," I scoff, and then I walk out in a huff.
I walk out, now enraged and ignore whoever is calling me. In the mood I'm in, they can all bugger off. But, that's not something I'd wish on them. Maybe others, but not them. It would just be easier if I were the one to go, to disappear. Even, get the chance to be with Aunt Tokiko and Mother again.
With me thinking this I don't see the headlights from the car approaching me. I hardly hear the warning coming from the horn and the driver. When I see the lights and hear the horn it is too late. The car makes full impact on my body and I don't even hear myself scream or see the blood that I throw up before I go unconscious. Maybe just maybe my time has come and my wish will come true. Possibly, it can be the reason why I see this bright light. Why I feel no pain when I know I should. Why the bright light keeps getting closer to, and that a feeling of warmth consumes me.
If only. Or, maybe just maybe, it has come true.
************
************
Sakura petals surround me as the atmosphere turns pitch black. The petals are gone and now all that is left is darkness. Darkness and a voice.
" Ask and you shall understand," it murmurs.
"Ask what?" I call out.
No reply comes, then seconds later the voice repeats itself,
"Ask and you shall understand."
I try my hardest to see if anyone's there. Perhaps Seishirou is playing another mind game on me, just like he did when I got to the tree.
/I hope it's only that/ I think.
I start to feel drowsy and I blink. An over whelming feeling of panic washes over me and I blink again. Then I open my eyes.
No darkness or Sakura petals or an eerie voice surrounds me. I am back in Fuuma's room, or more precisely his bed wrapped up in his arms. I blink again and sit up. We're in the same position as we were in when I woke up before. Fuuma even has the same content facial expression on his face and right on schedule his arm tightens around me as he feels me move.
Moments later Fuuma opens his eyes, and they are brimming with emotions, emotions for me and me alone sparkle at me. I stiffen as that happens. Thoughts of what can-or more specifically what will happen next swim around in my head and all I can do is wait for it to happen. I fear it and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm now a sitting duck.
"Mm, Kamui did you sleep well?" Fuuma asks as he sits up next to me.
Pathetically enough I'm too scared to reply.
"Kamui? Kamui are you all right?"
".." Nothing.
The silence is staring to get to Fuuma and I can tell because he's starting to fidget.
"Kamui please talk to me. Is there something wrong?"
At that I look down and clutch the sheets. Fuuma sees me do so and then does the most unexpected thing. It is something that I can't even see Kotori-chan or Hokuto-chan doing to the ones that they love.
Fuuma throws his arms around me and tackles me down onto the bed, our faces inches apart with him on top of me. We're so close that I can see the tears bristling in his eyes and a look of up most worry on his face.
"Tell me what's wrong," Fuuma growls. "Please," he adds.
Once again the fear of what is to come overwhelms me and I do the only thing that comes to mind. I start to cry. My body racks with the sobs upon sobs and I clutch onto Fuuma like there is no tomorrow.
Fuuma holds me and rubs my back as I cry. He tries his hardest to calm me, which makes me feel worse.
"Shh.It's okay. Please stop crying, Kamui. I'm sorry."
Minutes of this pass by before I finally calm down and slowly let go of Fuuma.
"I'm sorry," I barely squeak out.
Fuuma nods then says, " Are you all right now?"
" Yeah, I think so."
"Care to explain what just happened?"
"It.it's just a silly reason. Don't worry about it."
"Don't worry? You wouldn't speak to me then you broke down. I don't know what tends to be on your list of things to worry about, but something like that is on mine. Please."
Fuuma doesn't finish his sentence, instead, he moves away from me.
"It's because of me isn't it? I've hurt you," Fuuma says as he speaks lowly.
A long, highly awkward moment follows before I speak to answer that. How do you explain to someone that you've already lived this moment. That they're going to hurt you. It's highly unlikely that the one this is being told to will take it well. Especially if they love you and you know that.
"I don't know how to say this," I begin.
A look of utter horror sneaks onto Fuuma's face. I suspect he thinks that I'm going to tell him that I hate him or that I don't love him. Maybe even something worse, but alas I cannot read his mind.
"You're going to change. You're going to get mad at me and leave. Hurt me even. Even-"
Fuuma interrupts with, " Change? Hurt you? How? How do you know this?"
"I, well as odd as this sounds I've-we've lived this moment before. I remember all the details so clearly."
Fuuma leans over to stifle his laughter.
"Is that all, Kamui?"
"You think it's funny don't you? Don't you!" I yell out, hurt.
"It was just a dream, Kamui. No need to get so worked up over it," Fuuma replies sternly.
"What?"
"You heard me. What you saw, whatever happened to you was only a dream."
"But, it was so real. The voices, the people. It couldn't possibly have been a dream."
"Are you saying that I'm lying? That I would do whatever I did to you in it?"
I gather up all the courage that I can and reply, " It's not like you haven't before. I still remember what you did to me, to Subaru."
He doesn't respond. Instead, Fuuma gets up and throws me my clothes.
"Get out."
His voice is as cold as ice. So are his eyes.
I wordlessly get up and dressed, still in a state of haze from the sudden reaction that just took place. When done, I look back at Fuuma and all I get is another,
"Get out."
"Fine," I scoff, and then I walk out in a huff.
I walk out, now enraged and ignore whoever is calling me. In the mood I'm in, they can all bugger off. But, that's not something I'd wish on them. Maybe others, but not them. It would just be easier if I were the one to go, to disappear. Even, get the chance to be with Aunt Tokiko and Mother again.
With me thinking this I don't see the headlights from the car approaching me. I hardly hear the warning coming from the horn and the driver. When I see the lights and hear the horn it is too late. The car makes full impact on my body and I don't even hear myself scream or see the blood that I throw up before I go unconscious. Maybe just maybe my time has come and my wish will come true. Possibly, it can be the reason why I see this bright light. Why I feel no pain when I know I should. Why the bright light keeps getting closer to, and that a feeling of warmth consumes me.
If only. Or, maybe just maybe, it has come true.
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