Title: Dreams Can Change
Author: jhgoddess
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Rated: R
Summary: Sequel to Darkness and Dreams – HP/SS Harry doesn't take Severus' leaving very well.
Word Count: 6517
Warnings: Angst, Depression, Romance
Disclaimer: Harry Potter, Severus Snape and all associated characters from the Harry Potter universe are the property of J.K. Rowling. The author of this fic and the website maintainers are making no profit by this story or any of the site's contents.
Beta: Thank you eventheodd for all your time and great advice
Dreams Can Change
Headmaster Albus Dumbledore stood and wrapped his arms around Harry, deeply sympathizing with his loss. The gifted Potions Master had been like a son to him. The reason for his departure was fully understood, yet the pain he felt was no less. Underneath his rigid exterior, Severus Snape held the most precious attributes of compassion and understanding, not that he would allow anyone to view them openly. He would be sorely missed. Albus consoled the young man and inwardly hoped Severus would indeed, one day return.
"Harry." He said gently. "Now that Severus is pursuing other opportunities, Hogwarts finds itself without a Potion's Master. You have worked very hard these past years as the Professor's apprentice. I would be honored if you would accept the position."
Harry stepped back and regained his composure. He thought for a moment before responding, "I will never 'brew glory and bottle fame' with the same passion Severus possessed, but it would be my privilege to teach here. Hogwarts has always been my home," he sighed, "and right now, I want to be with those I have long considered family. I do have one request however…"
Dumbledore nodded.
"I don't want anyone to know of my feelings for Severus. He has worked hard throughout his life, and he deserves to have his wishes honored. I will not interfere with his life."
"Although I do not agree with you Harry, I give you my word this will be kept between you and me." The Headmaster's fatherly eyes glanced tenderly at the young man in so much pain. It was such a shame the two hadn't found their happiness with one another.
Harry spent the summer in the dungeons of Hogwarts. Ron and Hermione, his best friends who had finally realized they were meant to be together and had recently become engaged, came to visit often. He met them frequently in Hogsmeade as they refused to let him 'sit and brood' all summer long as Hermione would always say. He always tried to be happy around his friends, yet inside, he felt so lost, so lonely. They were great and had always been there for him, but they didn't fill the void Severus left.
Through their years as mentor and apprentice, Harry had learned the difference between Severus' versions of sarcasm, wit, and true aggravation. He had learned to take less personally and began seeing the humor behind the quick comebacks. Harry was never one to back down from a challenge, and Severus wasn't beyond pushing the limits of such challenges. Together they created and brewed the most difficult potions known to wizard kind. They had worked well together and had formed an odd friendship. Harry earned his friendship, not by being the 'Boy Who lived', but through his accomplishments, and he considered that one of his greatest achievements.
He had told Ron and Hermione about his sexual orientation years ago when they were still in school, but hadn't mentioned his feelings for Severus until after the man had left Hogwarts. Ron took the news better than Harry had anticipated and it seemed Hermione had guessed as much.
One summer evening, Ron took Harry to a bar in muggle London, as Harry still valued his privacy and did not like the attention the wizarding world piled upon him. "Look mate, you can't just give up. I know you really cared about the guy, but you have to move on. There are plenty of blokes that would love to be with you. Give it a chance. At least let someone take your mind away for a bit." Ron pleaded with him.
Harry looked around the bar then downed a shot of tequila. It was the best muggle way he knew to become quickly inebriated. "Thanks for getting me out Ron, but I'm just not ready. I don't do the causal thing. If I choose to be with someone, it will be with all my heart."
Throughout the next year Harry tried taking Ron's advice, against his better judgment, but it ended up the same each time, anyone he spent time with wanted more than Harry could give. It had always seemed enjoyable until the guy tried getting a goodnight kiss, or slipped his hand a little low on the dance floor. No one had tried to get to know him; they were just looking for a shag, and Harry wasn't that type. He still longed for the snarky bastard who made him feel whole.
No one had heard from Severus, not even Albus, but then again, the Headmaster was known for keeping secrets. Harry forced himself to leave the issue alone, but it was harder to do as the days went on. Severus had made it clear; he wanted no more interference in his life. He was going to live his dream, alone. Well that was fine and all, but it wouldn't hurt to let people know you were doing well. It wouldn't be interfering to ask if the man was safe, would it? Harry finally convinced himself there was nothing 'interfering' about curiosity, and wrote Severus a letter; just to make sure he was safe and happy.
Severus,
I know you made a choice for yourself, and please understand, I am not writing to you with any intention of meddling in your life. I only wanted to hear that you were happy and had found what you were looking for. Thank you for your letter. I can understand your reasons for leaving and wish you all the happiness in the world. After everything, you truly deserve it. We really do miss you though. I won't take any more of your time. If you get a moment to owl back, those of us here at Hogwarts would like to hear that you are well.
By the way, I thought you may enjoy a laugh. Dumbledore obviously had to find a new potions teacher, guess who? The students were happy at first to get rid of the greasy git potions master, until they realized he was replaced with a sullen, self centered, moody, and quick to anger brat. Even the Gryffindors dread my class. You may be happy to know, the percentage of O.W.L's and N.E.W.T's were the same as the last few years; so, even though they hate me, they are obviously still keeping up with Hogwarts high expectations. Albus thinks I picked up too many of your traits when I was your apprentice and teases me as well. The 'Boy Who Lived' is now the 'Man Who Dishes Out Detentions (even Filch stays busy with them all).
I really do hope you are happy,
Harry
Harry read the letter over a few times, ensuring his 'lack of interference'. He wanted to say so much more, but that had to be put behind him. His dream left when Severus did. He would have to make new plans and create new dreams if he wanted a future outside the dungeons, but his heart wasn't ready yet. Hedwig flew out with the letter on the anniversary of the man's departure. Harry knew it would be some time, if he even received a response. There was nothing left but to wait.
After several weeks went by without a response, Harry decided to ask Albus if he had any information on Severus' whereabouts. The little twinkle that lit the Headmaster's baby blue eyes confirmed he did indeed know, but wouldn't discuss the matter further. He wondered if Albus knew of his letter as well. Probably. The man usually knew everything, even if he wouldn't share it.
The months rolled along, and the Fall term started. Hedwig had finally returned with the letter still intact. She had not been able to find Severus. The man had been a spy most of his life, and was certainly capable of disappearing when he chose to. Harry had known it was a possibility he would not want to be found, but his heart sank, if possible, even lower still. The school year passed with still no word
Ron and Hermione seemed to think he just needed someone special to take his mind off of things and continually tried setting him up. He couldn't make them realize that his reputation made it difficult for him to date so Harry began avoiding his friends and immersed himself in his potion brewing. It was the one thing that made him still feel alive; that focused his mind; that made him feel as though Severus hadn't truly left him.
Teaching students so full of life and so damned happy (when not in his class) chafed his already raw nerves. He couldn't stand the brats half the time, so he chose to make their lives as miserable as he felt. He was called to the Professor Dumbledore's office for the third time that year, concerning the same matter.
During his chat with the Headmaster, his general attitude toward the students and staff had come into question. Basically, Albus had explained that he needed, what the muggles coined 'An Attitude Adjustment.'
"I see nothing wrong with my attitude." The man calmly stated. "If the students choose to disobey rules and disrupt my class, they will be dealt with accordingly. I don't see the problem here."
"Harry, my boy; we've had this discussion a few times already. You know what I'm referring to. I hate seeing you so unhappy. Have you thought any further of our last discussion? I truly believe you should explain to Severus the way you feel…"
"This has nothing to do with him, and even if it did, I refuse to become involved or have him drawn into my life. Leave it alone…sir." His tongue had become as sharp as disdainful as Severus' had ever been.
Everyone was happy when the school year ended and Harry continued to hide deep within the dungeons of Hogwarts throughout the summer. Ron and Hermione had continued to contact their friend, with little response back. Harry had avoided everyone he knew, making excuse upon excuse, about not having time for visitors.
Midsummer, Harry was called to Professor Dumbledore's office. After all the normal pleasantries the elder man smiled and started in. "We haven't seen much of you this summer Harry. How have you been?"
"I'm well sir. I do have a list of potions to fill for Madame Pomprey before the term begins, and course plans to finish. If this is a social chat, I would like to reschedule it when I am not so pressed for time." A sneer crossed his face.
"It seems the essence of Professor Snape is contagious." He chuckled.
"Quite. If that is all…" Harry rose from his seat and left the room with a familiar billowing of the robes few could misplace.
Albus sat comfortably in his chair facing the fireplace. Severus had asked to speak with him and he was only to happy to oblige. The Potions Master had owled a few times since his departure over two years ago to let the Headmaster know he was safe and well. He didn't want ties binding him anywhere, but he knew Albus would be concerned, and they had become friends after all. It also ensured the meddling codger wouldn't use 'worry' as an excuse to break his vow of 'no interference'.
"Severus, you are looking well."
Damn – that twinkle will never leave. "Thank you. I would like to visit Hogwarts on Halloween for a few days if that would be alright."
"You are welcome anytime, my dear boy. If I may inquire, is there any particular reason?"
"I should have known you wouldn't make this easy." Of course not. "There are a few things I would like to sort out…" Damn- he's still waiting. "As you know, I have spent much of the past two years traveling. It was something I never had the chance to do freely, and though I've enjoyed the experience, it hasn't turned out as well as I had hoped. I tried my hand in a variety of ventures I had spent my childhood dreaming of, yet, something was never quite right." More twinkling. "Damn it…will you stop that infernal look you keep giving me. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were making a pass at me… Contrary to popular opinion, you don't know everything. (yet) As. I. was saying…I found myself disappointed in things I had once craved, and empty after the experience. Things I had wanted so badly didn't fill the void within me. My mind would always return to Hogwarts."
The elder wizard looked deeply into his friend's eyes, "Was it truly Hogwarts, or something else?" (Or someone else?)
"That is something I would like to clarify myself upon my visit." God, he always knows. "Fine, yes…I would like to talk to the annoying brat again. There are few people in this world who can handle my venting, and I am frustrated keeping it bottled up." Severus' sarcasm glared through as always. Sure, he believes that as much as I do. "How is the Gryffindor handling himself in the dungeons? I'm sure he has provided the students with adequate knowledge since I left."
"The student's marks have maintained the level expected by Hogwarts. I do believe you may have rubbed off on the boy a bit. I believe some of the students would prefer to have their previous Professor return. Let's just say, Harry has had…somewhat of an attitude shift. But let's not dwell on that. There will be a room ready for you on Halloween, and we look forward to your re…visit."
Harry became even more despondent toward the end of summer, and within the first week of the new term his older students wished for Professor Snape to return. His third year teaching brought more detentions and house point deductions. They were becoming so frequent until his fellow professors brought the problem to the Headmaster's attention. The staff had never seen the youth so depressed and angry, and for this young man, that was saying something.
Albus called Harry for yet another meeting. He knew the man had taken Severus' leaving pretty hard, but that would work its way out soon enough. "Harry, please have a seat."
Harry's body had become a mere shadow, a dark haunting replica of its prior self. He fell into the chair, fully aware of why he had been summoned, yet not really caring any more. What did it matter anyway, the students hated him, the staff avoided him, and the only man he ever loved, left him. He didn't even have the strength to look into the Headmaster's eyes as the man spoke.
The wizard's voice was soft yet stern, "I knew you cared for Severus, but this has gone on quite long enough. I'm sorry, but Harry, you can't do this to yourself. There is so much…"
Harry interrupted, "There's nothing. No more Dark Lords to fight, no one to talk to, no one who cares about me, no more love in my heart. I'm dying, and I wish the reaper would find me and end this torture." His face was gravely sunken in and hollow, expressionless eyes, empty from emotion, showed the truth in his words.
The headmaster was speechless. The man sounded dangerous at best and suicidal at worst. What had happened to turn the anger he obviously displayed for the last two years into this depression? There was nothing else he could do; somehow the situation has passed him. "I'm sorry Harry. We all love you and want the best for you. I believe it would be in your best interests to take a leave of absence. I'm worried about you."
Harry slowly lifted his head and asked exhaustedly, "For how long and where?" Not that he cared either way.
"As long as it takes my boy. You are like family to me and I can't bear to see you like this. I must insist you admit yourself into St. Mungo's for evaluation." He spoke cautiously, knowing the Gryffindor's temper could flare at any moment. He was again surprised to see just how deep Harry's depression had sunk when the young man responded.
"Fine. Whatever. Nothing really matters anymore. Death can find me as easily there as here." His voice was indifferent and he made no effort to move from the chair.
Albus spoke with St. Mungo's that night, and escorted Harry to a private room in the hospital. The administrative staff was told the basic circumstances of Harry's depression and about the obvious need for discretion. They agreed to let the headmaster know of any changes in the young man's condition and to take good care of him.
Despite all the charms, potions, and magical means known, Harry's mental state continued to decline through the next six weeks. Professor Dumbledore had let Ron and Hermione know of Harry's condition and they had tried to visit several times. Hermione even spoke with the staff about Muggle approaches to depression, as nothing in the wizarding world had helped. Harry had refused everyone. He would not see visitors and became almost catatonic when doctors tried to speak with him. He had completely given up on life.
Discretion could only last so long, and Albus knew it. He wasn't surprised one morning to see the front page of the Daily Prophet flashing the headlines, "Harry Potter on Deathbed." He read on as gasps and whispers filled the Great Hall. "Harry Potter was admitted to St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries six weeks ago with a mental illness" an anonymous worker told reporters. "His condition is becoming increasingly critical as nothing has proven effective thus far to stop the decline…He won't speak, eat, or even move most of the time…We are keeping him alive physically, but that can only last so long…I believe the end is near…"
Albus laid down the paper feeling absolutely helpless. He knew what the problem was and had sworn an oath not to interfere. Unfortunately he had sworn to both men early on. To Severus, not to contact him or meddle in his life and to Harry, to never tell of his reaction to Severus' letter and what he had admitted that night about his feelings. He made the vow without knowing what effect one would eventually have on the other.
He glanced down the table noticing the shocked and horrified expressions on the Professor's faces. He hadn't told anyone, other than Harry's two best friends, of his hospitalization. Everyone believed he had taken an extended vacation due to stress. Today would be a very long day.
The headmaster made his way out of the Great Hall after assuring Professor McGonagall they would discuss this later, and headed back to what he expected to be a busy fireplace. He was not wrong.
The first call had been the Minister of Magic, followed by at least ten Weasleys, various members of the Order, and several reporters. It wasn't every day the 'Saviour of the Wizarding World' lay dying, without anyone having a clue. He was typically polite to all, and quickly reassured each that he would investigate the matter further before making any formal statements.
The call he dreaded, was actually the one he was the most relieved to receive. Severus Snape's voice bellowed angrily through the fire. "What the hell is going on Dumbledore? Is this true?"
Albus requested this particular conversation take place in person, privately. Fire calls were not the most discrete form of communication in the wizarding world.
Severus immediately swept into the Headmaster's office and demanded answers. The normally smooth, hypnotic voice had turned irate and cracked.
Albus knew better than to try calming the man down with tea and candies, when he was in this particular mood. He sat beside the man and explained that we would answer every question to the best of his ability.
Severus looked furious and his voice continued to shake with concern. "None of this 'best of your abilities' crap old man; IS IT TRUE?"
Albus looked solemnly at his friend and answered, "Yes, it's true. I placed Harry in St. Mungo's just after the start of term. He had been diagnosed with a mental illness and none of the medi-witches can find a way to help him. Every magical, and muggle means for that matter, have been attempted without success. When a wizard no longer wants to live, there is little we can do to keep him alive. I'm afraid our young Harry will not be with us much longer. It would take a miracle." His eyes had never twinkled as hard in his life. If only he could relay that the miracle Harry needed was right there.
"Albus, you know something. What is it you're not saying? What exactly is this 'mental illness' that no one can cure? Why the hell did I have to read about this in the paper?"
"Harry is suffering from Major Depressive Disorder. It is an extreme form of depression. It progressed slowly for the past few years until it reached a point beyond our control. I should have stepped in sooner, had I but known. Harry isolated himself and was rarely seen outside of classes and meals. He has given up on life, and as you know, he is very strong willed. Once he has made a decision, whether consciously or not, there are few strong enough to change it. As for your last question, I formally swore a wizard's oath not to interfere in your life or to contact you, and I have upheld my promise." The headmaster tried again to hint, throwing that twinkle again. Sometimes Severus was too stubbornly blind to see what was being placed right in front of him.
"I spoke with you not three weeks ago and you didn't mention…" Severus paused. His eyes finally seemed to grasp what hadn't been said. "It wasn't the contacting me, it was the interference. How exactly would telling me of Harry's problem relate in my life?" He continued to think aloud as Albus prodded him on with those infernal eyes. "You believe if I had known, it would have changed something in my life, but you know I'm not that easily swayed, unless this directly involved me somehow." Damn that look. I'm right and there's more. "What exactly is Harry depressed from? You said it had been growing for…oh gods, this is because of me, isn't it?"
Albus' eyes confirmed the other man's deductions. He truly wanted Severus to be happy and not meddle in his life again, but he didn't want to see Harry die because of it. Halloween had not come soon enough.
"Why didn't you tell me? Harry is dying for Merlin's sake." The former potions master was extremely frustrated.
"It wasn't my place. Yours was not the only promise I swore Severus." His voice was filled with sorrow. "Harry only wanted to see you happy. He never wanted to meddle in your life as others have. He read your letter thoroughly and only wanted the best for you. I can say no more without breaking my oath. I'll leave you here for a few minutes while I go check on Harry's condition." The Headmaster walked to tall cabinet and whispered the spells to open the many locks securing its contents. He reached for something and placed it in his pocket before quickly leaving for St. Mungos.
Severus watched the man exit with that damned twinkle glaring at him again. Now what. The cabinet had been heavily warded, and was now sitting completely open. The only thing visible was a penseive on the middle shelf. Okay, he can't say something, so he's trying to show me without being held responsible. The man had the talents of Salazar himself.
Severus breathed deeply before entering the silver liquid. He truly hoped this is what he was supposed to be doing. The first memory he came upon was situated in the Headmaster's office. Harry was reading a roll of parchment and crying. He looked seriously distraught. As he finished, the parchment fell from his hand, and he wiped the tears from his face. 'But Severus was my dream,' Harry cried, and then wept more in the Headmaster's arms.
The man left the penseive quickly and replaced it on the shelf as tears welled up in his own eyes. He never knew Harry cared that deeply for him. He had convinced himself that the feelings he thought Harry possessed, were a mere crush; something fleeting and of no real consequence. Now Harry lay dying. He couldn't let that happen, not now. He had finally found the courage to confront the young man, and now, it may be too late.
Albus returned moments later, with a grave expression on his face. He looked at the cabinet and warded it before taking his seat with a deep sigh.
Severus was extremely worried, "What is it? Is he…" He couldn't bear to finish the question.
"He's alive, but his body is rejecting the potions that have been stabilizing him. The medi-witches can't find a way to nourish his body any longer. They don't believe he'll make it through the night." A single tear rolled down his cheek.
Severus abruptly stood up and pulled the Headmaster to the fire, "We are going NOW!"
They moved quickly to Harry's floor and found the nurse in charge. The Headmaster explained the importance of Severus' presence in Mr. Potter's room. She was hesitant at first, but eventually gave in as it was probably the boy's last visitor anyway.
Albus waited outside as Severus walked over to the hospital bed. He barely recognized the man lying below him. It was as if a skeleton had been covered in a thin, white silk that had stretched beyond its limits. The young man was barely breathing, his lips almost blue, and his eyes were open, but not actually seeing. He raised the frail form in his arms, "Harry, I'm here… Please wake up, look at me… It's Severus." He rocked the young man gently back and forth. "Harry, don't do this to me, not now… Look at me. Damn it LOOK AT ME… Please…When have you ever known the 'greasy git potion's master' to say that word. Please Harry, don't leave me…I…need you." His breathing hitched. Why now of all times, Harry? "I know you're in there... Please listen to me… Listen to my voice. Come back to my voice. Come back and look into my eyes. Show me that arrogant Gryffindor pride of yours. Come back and curse me for ever leaving, hit me, hex me. Harry, I was wrong, so wrong."
Severus had never felt such overwhelming emotion in his life. He hadn't realized what he truly wanted until a few months ago. Harry had to come through. He just had to. Time seemed to slow as Severus watched Harry's chest slowly taking in shallow breaths, with no response.
He held the young man softly in his arms, swept the hair from his forehead, and gently laid a kiss over his scar. "Harry." The name was held with such endearment on his lips. His voice was soft and tender, "I love you." He brought the blue lips to his own and forced every bit of magic and love he could find within himself and kissed the man who held his heart. Maybe his energy would give Harry strength. A warm, golden glow surrounded them for a long moment before Harry stirred.
"Sss.ev…us?" A whisper emerged from the cold lips below him, followed by a few small coughs.
"Harry, I'm here. I'm right here." Snape responded with a glimmer of hope.
"Dreaming…you…need…voice…kiss." His words were barely audible.
"Harry, it's not a dream. I'm here with you." Severus' hand cupped the man's sunken cheek. "Feel me, I'm right here. I won't leave again." He leaned in and kissed him again focusing all his love, all his desire, and all his strength into the lips of the broken youth before him.
Harry's lips began to warm slightly and his body glowed again, brighter and longer than before. His eyes fluttered as he seemed to slowly focus on the dark visage in front of him.
"Severus. Is that really you?" His voice still soft, but gaining strength steadily.
"Yes Harry. I'm here. I won't leave you again. Please listen to me. You must want to live. Your body is following your mind. Will it to live." Another strengthening, golden kiss was placed on the young man's mouth. "I need you Harry."
A touch of color found its way into Harry's cheeks. He looked up at his mentor, seeing nothing but truth and desire behind his words. A smile slowly etched itself on the youth's face. "Severus?"
"Yes Harry."
"…I'm really thirsty" he said with a small chuckle.
A large smile graced Severus. "I'll get you some wa…"
"No, please don't leave, not y…" his voice still weary.
"Don't worry, I won't leave. Albus is outside the door. I'll just ask him to bring some water, alright."
"Okay, and maybe some bread. I'm so hungry."
Severus laughed, called out to Albus, and embraced the young man before him.
Albus rushed in the room and witnessed the most blessed event in recent memory. Severus had just released the young Gryffindor from a tender kiss, still holding him close to his heart. Both men turned and smiled at him. Harry was alive and it looked as though he would stay that way for some time. It was a moment he knew he'd never forget.
"If you would be so kind Albus, our Mr. Potter here, would like some food and water." Severus waved the man off with a smirk and turned back to the man in his arms. Their eyes locked and spoke more than words could ever express. Neither one would ever be alone again.
Harry's mind and body grew stronger each day. He begged forgiveness from his best friends and swore he would never be such a prat again. They agreed on one condition; that Harry be the godfather to their child, who would be born in about six months. It was agreed upon immediately and Harry had never felt better.
Severus stayed with Harry throughout his recovery. He agreed that they needed to have a long talk, but it could wait until Harry was fully recovered and back at Hogwarts.
Because of Harry's want of privacy and the recognition he felt Severus had so richly deserved, but never received, he and Albus created a story for the Daily Prophet to run. "Harry Potter Saved by Former Death Eater." The original 'deathbed' story said there was no cure, so it enhanced what Harry had tried so desperately to get across in the new article. "Former Hogwarts Professor, Severus Snape, creates a miracle cure that saved the life of his former apprentice. Harry Potter claims that only an extremely strong and compassionate wizard with a pure heart could have created this particular potion. The claim was backed by Albus Dumbledore, current headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and basically one of the most well known Light wizards of our day…"
Severus threw a shallow glare at the two men sitting in front of him as the read the article. He couldn't believe they would do something like this for him.
"Don't get your drawers in a bind Severus Snape. You deserve this respect. The wizarding world has owed you for a long time, and this wasn't a lie." Harry's voice tried to sound commanding as he knew by the smirk on Severus' face, he was about to be challenged. "It was true that you were the only person who could have saved my life and you did. Your strength gave me the power to survive. The potion was brewed with magic, laced with love, and stirred with compassion, then placed tenderly on my lips. If that wasn't a miracle cure, I don't know what is." Harry smiled as he knew there was nothing in that Severus could find fault with.
After Severus picked his jaw up from the floor, he looked at the two men and muttered, "Brat. Meddler. Let's go home." His gratitude glowed through his eyes and his companions recognized it as such.
The three men returned to Hogwarts less than two weeks after Harry woke up. He was still weak and very thin, but he was strong enough to finish recovering at home. He had missed Halloween at Hogwarts, but with Severus near, he really hadn't missed anything important.
The three wizards sat comfortably in Albus' office, and caught up a bit. Severus wasn't sure of his current plans, but did know, they would not involve taking the Potion's position from Harry. He planned to stay for a few weeks, at least, in the rooms adjacent to the one he lived in for over twenty-five years. He wanted to keep an eye on the younger Professor while he recuperated, as well as being near to renew their friendship and whatever the fates may hold in store for them.
Severus joined the Professors at the Head table the next day for breakfast. Harry had requested to speak to the students that morning, and Severus wanted to support him, even though he had no clue what the Gryffindor was up to. The young man looked nervous as the Headmaster captured the attention of the room. As Harry rose, the students applauded rather timidly in Severus opinion.
"Thank you. It's nice to be back. I wanted to take this opportunity to apologize to you all. You may have noticed I've acted a bit harsh for the past year or so…" Whispers of agreement and smug looks filled the Hall. "I'm sorry. There is no excuse for my actions, but I do hope you will forgive me. This does not mean my class will become any easier, nor will I tolerate any disruptions. I will, however, be more respectful to each of you as my 'Attitude' has been 'Adjusted'. Professor Sinistra will continue lessons until next Monday, when I will resume your potions training." Harry smiled at the Headmaster then sat back down.
The Great Hall filled with more enthusiastic applause, and the students looked greatly relieved. Harry's strength was coming back, but little things could still easily exhaust him. He turned to Severus and asked if he would help him back to the dungeons.
"Severus, would you have time for a chat?" Harry asked.
"I don't believe there is anything pressing on my schedule this morning." Severus replied sarcastically.
"A 'yes' or 'no' would have sufficed."
"What would be the fun in that?"
"Severus Snape actually knows the word 'fun'?" Harry laughed.
"Brat."
Harry lay on the sofa in front the glowing fireplace and Severus sat in the leather chair beside him. The room hadn't changed much since it had belonged to the elder Potion's Master. It felt odd entering the rooms he lived in most of his life, and knowing they were no longer his. The young man before him closed his eyes for a moment, and let the peace fill the air.
"Severus. We agreed not to discuss anything at St. Mungo's, but since we are back home…would you mind?" Harry questioned tentatively.
"What would you like to know?"
"Would you have come back if…if you hadn't seen the article?"
"Yes, I had already made plans with Albus to come back for Halloween and to stay for a few weeks."
"Why?"
Severus considered for a moment, "I needed to clarify a few things in my life before choosing my next step."
"I thought you never wanted to return?"
"I believed that as well."
"So what changed your mind? What did you need to clarify?" Harry asked softly.
"I found that I could not make my former dreams into a reality I would currently enjoy. People change, dreams change. Many of the experiences I craved were not as fulfilling as I had hoped. There was always something missing. Snide remarks and sarcasm are more enjoyable when shared with those you know. I guess I missed the challenges I remembered while living here at Hogwarts, and wanted to see if they had changed as well."
"Is there any specific 'challenge' you missed?"
"What do you want me to say, you stubborn brat; that I missed you. I never found anything as fulfilling as when we created potions together; that our daily banter had become an enjoyable part of my routine? Is that what you're waiting to hear?" Snape voice teased with a hint of his normal sneer.
Harry sat up and looked innocently at the dark, sensual man beside him. "Did you miss me? Or did you just say that to renew our 'bantering' routine?"
Severus rose from his chair, leaned over the young man, and gently brushed his lips over the pouting one's below. They were so soft, so warm. He deepened the kiss as Harry's arms wrapped around his waist, slowly pressing his tongue through the succulent opening, into the moist heaven that lay beyond. He lowered himself beside Harry, never breaking their contact. After an eternity of bliss, they broke quickly for breath before returning to the passion that encompassed them.
Severus' long fingers massaged the back of the young man's neck and felt the soft raven hair that had grown beyond his shoulders. The elder wizard pulled slowly away and gazed deeply into the emerald gems before him. "Does that answer your question?"
"Mmmm." Harry answered dreamily. "I seem to remember you also saying something about 'needing me' when I woke up in St. Mungo's. Would you care to confirm that as well?"
Severus took possession of the Gryffindor's sweet mouth and pulled him onto his lap. His awakening need was evident through his robes, pressing against the matching arousal of his love. Harry gently thrust against the hard shaft, his eyes pleading for more.
"This will be the extent of your 'confirmations' until you put back on the weight you lost. Madame Pomprey said that should take approximately four to six weeks. I will not wear you down further. When I take you, you will need every bit of energy a young Gryffindor at your age should possess. And I will take you Harry.
"Oh god, yes." Harry hissed, drawing out every breath.
Throughout the following weeks Harry and Severus discussed their lives, past, present and future. Harry ate everything in sight, trying to get his weight and strength back to normal. Severus found that creating potions and doing personal research fulfilled most of his time. The remainder was spent aiding Professor Potter with the sixth and seventh years N.E.W.T. students. The two had worked out a perfect routine of teaching, grading, brewing, and snogging. Never before had the men felt such passion and love in their lives.
At least, until the day Harry finally reached his mark on the scales.
But that is another story entirely.
