Breeze After the Rain

by puffles 44

It's Venti's birthday, and he hasn't seen his favorite person since the events of the Chasm. A reunion, a talk, and emotions running high. Is Venti's wish too much to ask? Xiaoven Fanfic.

1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hello! It's been a while~ Sorry, I forgot to upload this fic here right after I uploaded it in my Ao3.

Anyways, yes, Belated Happy Birthday, Venti!

Just a note that a scene that has its text italicized means that it's a flashback~

Here's a tissue box in case you need it!

---

Sat on a tree's bend, hands on his seat and, in the air dangled his feet, a certain bard from Mond watched as the deep blues and purples of midnight gave way to the oranges and yellows of daybreak

Or was it the 'ceruleans of daybreak'?

Venti couldn't exactly glimpse the rising sun from where he sat, much less the mountains that he created himself that lined the horizon.

Other than the changes in the blue canvas up above and the scurrying of fireflies homeward, the orange wisps tainted purple puffs of clouds were telltale signs of the approaching dawn.

Ah, to think these threads of purple, orange and white were composed of tightly knitted quilts of grey.

The little ones—Anemo Elemental Sprites such as he—were hard at work. Every year, they'd give him spots of sunshine as gifts on this date, should the rains come pouring in. If he listened closely, he could hear them harmonize, singing their own brand of a work song.

He chuckled; he was loved.

Then, silliest of thoughts occurred to him

How could a tempest remind the bard of him—he whose name he hadn't (couldn't have) uttered for days on end? And this talk of colors? T'was nothing but appreciation for the beauty of the natural world.

[He definitely wasn't waiting for someone who may not even come to see him.]

It was the Wind's turn to send its congratulations. It lifted up and dispersed the haze left by the heavy downpour. Its touch was ticklish on his skin, causing giggles to spill all around uncontrollably. Cool and not the least bit biting; it reawakened his senses.

Venti sucked in a breath as his hands flew to his arms, hugging himself, as he felt a shiver run through him. Damp clothes clung uselessly onto his form. His trusty cape did him no favors—heavy and unnecessarily clingy—just as self-hugging does nothing to stave off the cold.

Such is the downside of homelessness.

He wasn't above laughing at his own expense. His giggles transformed into laughter, one so loud it could even be heard from the Hilichurl Camp nearby. From the corner of his eye, he saw one Hilichurl Warrior come over and take a peek at him before shaking its head in dismissal and going back to reinforcing its club.

How rude! Barbatos—no, Venti—was perfectly capable of destroying their camp with one move, and yet they see him as nothing but a noisy neighbor?

Well, maintaining the peace in that spot was crucial, so he took it as their gift to him.

Homelessness, huh?

It certainly had been a while since he last worried about whether or not he had a roof over his head!

It wasn't the best of thoughts to be entertaining whilst celebrating one's birthday. But it was a good laugh, wasn't it. He wiped away a stray tear in the process.

He had to keep his spirits up! The little ones were working their butts off for him too!

"Ohhh-wooaaaah!"

Venti lost his balance.

His legs clung onto the robust trunk for dear life, only to realize that he didn't have to panic at all. His back hit one of the tree's branches, and truly, he's grateful that tree literally has his back!

"Phew, that was close!"

He sighed in relief.

"And dangerous."

That voice!

His eyes grew wide with realization, and along with it did his smile.

He wanted to bonk himself on the head. Silly Venti, the trunk was bent all funny. That's why he sat there in the first place. There was no way it'd catch his fall.

He gulped, and the hairs on his neck stood on end, as he became hyper-aware of his guest of honor. He even felt each individual bead and each angle on the smooth obsidian of the necklace that was pressed against his back.

Xiao came for him.

The thought alone sent the butterflies in his stomach to whip up a flurry—one so strong that it threatened to lift him to the heavens—but the hands on his shoulders kept him grounded and rooted to his seat. It felt so close to how it was back then when he laid eyes on him in Angel's Share all those months ago, yet still so different…

Once the short eternity had come past, he gingerly tilted his head up and found himself instantly taken in by the softness of Xiao's gaze.

"Be more careful next time." It was a reminder—a light scolding. Xiao placed his forgotten beret (when did that slip off?) on his lap.

The bard nodded, still mesmerized. He didn't, however, forget himself and captured one of the Yaksha's hands before the other could snatch it away.

Now that Xiao was there, he wasn't letting go, even if he was met with resistance.

But there was no such resistance.

The Yaksha's gaze drifted lower, where their hands were, and somehow, the bard could make out the faintest of smiles. Venti took it as approval. He slotted his fingers in between the gaps of gloved ones and was delighted to feel them slide right in—just as well as they always had. He brought the hand to his cheek, then started leaving kisses on each knuckle.

Perhaps there is truly air in his head. For someone anticipating his beloved's arrival, he was completely caught off guard!

How did he miss the sound of rustling beads, and tinkling bells? How did he miss the beginnings of contrasting blacks and teals in the air? How did he not catch a whiff of Qingxin and metal?

His eyes idly drifted upward, and he froze.

Not… good. This isn't good for his heart.

Xiao may not have moved his hand away, but his other hand was failing at obscuring the state of his face—that of a garden full of blooming pink roses.

Despite not having a drop of alcohol yesterday and the day before, he found himself completely drunk at sight.

He couldn't help it; he can't—won't—get enough of Xiao and his cuteness.

And while it would do nothing to help his case, he'll gleefully admit to being a disgrace!

"O venerable Guardian Yaksha of Liyue," Venti said, untangling their fingers from each other's.

On second thought, a topic change would be better for both their sakes.

He caught the Adeptus' hand and brought it closer, kissing the Vision that lay up ahead. T'was nothing but an act of reverence.

"May I be so bold to ask what is One doing in the untamed wilderness of Mond?"

Venti, sly in his own right, watched the proud Adeptus suppress the shiver running through his spine. His beloved was getting better at enduring it, but was still unable to look completely unfazed.

He chuckled to himself. He expected for Xiao not to take his taunt lying down, and the Yaksha didn't disappoint.

"I've come to wish its finest bard, its Patron Deity, a 'Happy Birthday."

"Ehe, is that so?" Venti raised an eyebrow, his free hand coming up to cup Xiao's cheek. "Me, a patron deity? You think I'm Mondstadt's finest?"

Xiao's skin was warm and soft.

"Not think." Xiao positioned himself so that they could see eye to eye. He reached out to cup Venti's face and brought it closer. He leaned to close the gap, placing a chaste kiss on the bard's lips. "You are."

One step back, two steps forward. Venti chased him, planting a soft peck of his own.

He giggled.

They were both nervous, that much was true, yet that nervousness brought a sense of comfort—a common ground to stand on. The past few weeks had filled them both with uncertainty. They have not spoken since the day Xiao and the others emerged from the depths of the Chasm.

That was the elephant in this hypothetical room. But just for today, at least just for today…

"Well then, I regret to inform the most venerable General Alatus that he's late."

"Late?" Xiao parrotted—the question marks surrounding him were as clear as day.

Venti took the opportunity to scoot closer, thigh to thigh, and sank down until his head lay atop Xiao's chest.

"Yes, you're late."

It would take Xiao a couple of minutes to figure out that he was messing with him, but for now…

Ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump

He closes his eyes. Warm… the chill and discomfort from earlier was no more. And right below him was his most favorite sound in the world.

Ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump

For the first time in weeks, he felt all his troubles blow over, leaving nothing but peace of mind.

Birthday celebrations are part of human traditions. He liked celebrating them as life is meant to be celebrated, despite not being a human himself.

Venti may not have a cake or have candlelights to blow out, but he sure is glad that the wish-granting deities aren't so strict or picky about who they grant wishes to!

—○ ● ○ ◇◇◇ ○ ● ○ —

In-out, in-out, in-out

It was… hard to breathe. The pain… excruciating. Having his Gnosis torn from him and waking up cursed and corroded were nothing compared to this.

Pant. Writhe. Clutch.

His vision had turned black; an onslaught of explosions—booming shouts, cries, screeching—rang in his ears and in his mind; the gaping hole of loss weighed on him as a war he couldn't comprehend waged within him.

Pure, utter madness, that's what it was.

And nothing eased the pain, and in response, he found himself unable to even breathe.

Ha, he used to joke about this very sort of conclusion to his life: the Anemo Archon dying of asphyxiation. A good joke then, but not at all humorous now.

"Ala…tus…" he croaked, pleaded, and hoped on.

He could not grasp any of the words he was so used to bend and twist to his fancy.

He couldn't take it.

This was a losing battle. He was not prepared for it. He couldn't imagine how he could have steeled himself for this.

Is this how it had always been for him?

•○●○• ◇ •○●○•

"Xiao, could you hear me?"

He stuck his head out of the window of Zhongli's office.

The Wind sent its greeting—a heavy blow (!) on the cheek.

Eyes wide and mouth hanging unflatteringly open, he held a hand to his cheek, and winced when they made contact. The Wind… it never did that before.

What a way to check in on him!

One can't see the Wind, so no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't glare at it without accidentally glaring at someone else (and getting into trouble with some random passerby in the process). And really, attracting more trouble was the last thing he wanted.

Just as he was about to tell it off, the Wind began to gently rub the spot it hit in a circular motion, in apology and an attempt at comfort. The motions were cool and relaxing to the touch. It then presented him songs from the people living all around them—chattering, laughter, cooking, snoring, and many more.

With elbows on the sill, his head buried between his arms, a sigh on his lips, he wound down—tempering his ire and reflecting on his actions as he watched the lights further down the road dim. While the Harbor never truly sleeps, it winds down as its citizens prepare to have a good night's sleep.

He had to hand it to his faithful accomplice. The cheeky thing knew more than it let on, and despite the rough execution, it was spot on. He needed that little shake, and really, he appreciated the concern.

"Thanks," he muttered, still vexed about all that has happened.

He had been out of sorts since Xiao entered the deeper chambers of the Chasm.

The words Xiao threw out so carelessly, the constant battles his beloved had to endure alone, the sheer helplessness the situation had forced them all in… it was all too much.

Venti hated how he could only take a backseat as all of this transpired. He hated how at that final moment, he couldn't hold on and blacked out. He hated how incredibly fragile his tone had taken on when he asked the question just now.

Gnosis or not, wasn't he an Archon? Didn't he ascend to godhood and was blessed with a strength he could only hope of having?

Then why? Why did he still feel helpless?

He raised his head, taking a deep breath. His hands felt numb from clenching his hands too much.

He was better than this. He prided himself in making light of the situation—of bringing cheer and laughter, giving no other choice than to have them wipe off their frowns and plaster on a smile! People shouldn't worry about him… Alatus shouldn't be worrying about him, not after emerging from another traumatic situation.

Venti had to admit, the past few days took more of a toll on him than he expected. He couldn't believe saying this, but the situation took a turn for the worse to the point where he was grateful that Morax and his mate had been taking turns to 'babysit' him. He wasn't sure exactly what was happening, but his mind and body were entirely 'attuned' and focused on Alatus. Inexplicable thoughts and sensations ran through him; it felt like he wasn't in control of himself at times.

It was beyond terrifying.

The 'delirium' (he didn't know what else to call it) had fully passed that afternoon, and Morax filled him in about the aftermath, especially Xiao's safety—and how the old dragon himself saw to the task personally. He remembered nearly collapsing from the wave of relief that washed over him. Ehe, Childe even had to hold him upright by the time his old friend brought him back to speed. He never once doubted that the great Rex Lapis would pull through. Dragons are especially protective of their kin. It wasn't a question of 'if' but of 'when' he would step in.

Despite Morax's words, unease continued to gnaw at him. He had to make sure for himself. He still hadn't heard—

"I hear you."

The voice was quiet, yet there is no mistaking it—Alatus!

Venti jumped from his seat, ecstatic.

Alatus!

The cloud hovering over his head had cleared, his spirits lifting higher and higher still. His eyes mirrored the brilliance of the stars above with tears threatening to spill at any moment. He didn't see the point of containing his ever-growing smile.

Xiao heard him! His words finally reached him!

He took a deep breath, knowing that if he didn't, his voice would crack all too easily. He can't embarrass himself any further than this.

"Xiao-Xiao! Are you alright now? Have your injuries healed? Where are you? I'll be right o—"

"Venti, eugh, make them stop. Not now."

The former archon blinked, drawing at a blank, until he heard the Yaksha swatting at something and demanding those somethings to 'stay back'.

Ah… the Anemograna must've tracked Xiao sensing their Lord's desire to know about the Yaksha's whereabouts and started taking turns swooping down and peppering him with kisses.

Venti giggled before whispering his assurances to the Anemograna, and requested that they leave poor Xiao alone. They leave without much of a fuss.

"I appreciate the concern, Barbatos, but I… I need some time alone—to gather my thoughts."

"O-of course," Venti responded with as much cheer as he could muster. "Take as long as you need~"

He bit his lower lip. What was with that stutter?

He understood the need for solitude. Of course, he did.

Xiao was more withdrawn than him, and leaving him on his own may be for the best. There was a lot to unpack and sort out. He understood that.

"Thank you."

"Mm," Venti acknowledged with a nod. "Just… promise me that you'll take care?"

"Mm-hm."

As half-hearted as the reply sounded, the bard had no choice but to accept since it seemed that Xiao was already sucked back into his train of thought.

Pffft, that's just like Morax… like father, like son, as per usual.

Notes of light laughter filled the space. Short and sweet, but at its tail end was yet another sigh. Catching himself, he slapped his cheeks a few times.

He'll really be chasing happiness away at the rate he's going, and that's not good at all!

He plops down on his seat and rests his cheek onto the window sill once more. There went the last of energy—sapped, just like that. He hoped that his replies didn't sound so forced. Well, not that Alatus would notice… not in the state he was in.

Venti closed his eyes, listening to the songs the Wind brought him to soothe his thoughts.

Not long after, the door creaked open. A tray was placed onto a table and the sound of dinnerware and glassware resounded in the office.

He bit back a sigh and smiled as he caught it in time before greeting an old friend back from his quest for an after dinner snack.

If only the 'son' would learn to let go of the reins and trust in other peoples' strength and will, just like his 'father'…

—○ ● ○ ◇◇◇ ○ ● ○ —

Venti jolted awake when he felt a hand run through his hair. When did he fall asleep? How long was he out? After that first stroke, the hand paused upon sensing his agitation. Once his nerves let up, he snuggled against Xiao once more, and the Yaksha resumed combing his hair.

He giggled. It's usually the other way 'round. Venti's the one to initiate affectionate gestures, not the one at the edge of his seat! He was still unused to Xiao taking the lead—even when several honest, endearing attempts had been made months prior—and he wonders if he'll ever be.

"Today is the 16th of June, correct?" Xiao asked, finally breaking the silence. His tone mirrored the gentleness of his actions. "I've come not a day early nor the day after. How am I late?"

It was hard not to laugh, but Venti endeavored anyway. Biting his lower lip, he hummed his agreement and curled up even more against the Yaksha. To his delight, a protective arm secured him in place to prevent another near-fall incident.

It had been a while since Xiao had held him like this. He missed it so much.

He was safe. They were safe.

Looking up, he saw a small frown plastered on his beloved's face. Perhaps, the Adeptus has finally caught on, or maybe he just gave up trying to solve this conundrum. He gave Xiao's cheek a tentative poke.

"Well…" Venti withdrew his hand and crossed his arms, averting his eyes. He even puffed up his cheeks in mock disappointment to play it up. "I expected you to come to me a week before at the earliest and by midnight today at the latest."

By the time Xiao managed to reply, the Hilichurl from before had already finished his spear and shield improvements and had checked in on them twice (and still deemed them to be harmless outsiders). "I… Huh?"

"Pffft," Venti inevitably failed to keep the act up and let his amusement shine through, assaulting Xiao's cheek even more with poking. "You look just like a Bitter Pufferfish."

"Cut that out." Xiao restrained the bard's hand with his.

Venti sneaked his hand out for one last good pull on the Yaksha's chubby cheek before Xiao had to seize both of them in his. He smiled and laughed, glad that the Yaksha seemed to have kept his promise to him—his cheeks are as plump as ever!

"Satisfied?"

"Yup!" Venti chirped. "It looks like you've been eating well while I'm not on the lookout. Though, Your sleeping habits have worsened, no doubt."

Honey-gold eyes may have shied away from him, but he still had a front row seat on how heat rose up and colored the Adeptus' face and ears a pretty rose red. Venti wasn't cruel, and was content to enjoy the sight in silence.

Tentative glances came his way to which he responded with a soft smile.

"That timeframe for my arrival you brought up… Is this a custom unique to Mondstadt?" Xiao asked once the heat on his face died down. "Celebrating before the actual date of one's birth?"

Oh geez, were they still not over that? Seems like Mr.I-Take-Everything-Seriously unlearned how to lighten up in the short time they hadn't seen each other.

Venti broke free from the Yaksha's hold and rose from his position with a 'hup'. He took hold of Xiao's shoulders and brought their faces closer to each other. He peered inside those ambers he so terribly missed and saw the same sentiment reflecting back at him. Along with it were deep affection, and lingering hurt… and apprehension.

They say that 'Time heals all wounds", and it was safe to say that it did—just that some healed faster than others. The scratches and gashes scattered all over the Yaksha's body had certainly healed by now. As for the ones that run deeper, well… only Xiao could tell.

And that was okay.

Venti will take whatever Xiao could share with him—if there is any at all—and, if could help the healing process in any way, then all the better.

"I just wanted to see you sooner, silly~" Venti rubbed their noses together, his hands traced across the parts where the wounds on Xiao's cheek and shoulder used to be. "What kept you from coming earlier, hmmm? I missed you so, sooo much, schätchzen."

He whispered before planting a kiss on his darling's forehead.

"I…" Xiao held the hand ghosting over his shoulder. Even with just one syllable, the bard could sense the request behind it.

He withdrew and sat beside the Yaksha, careful to keep his hands to himself.

"Venti, I apologize." The tone was low and grave.

Venti did his best not to gulp or show any signs of trepidation.

"Hm? What for?" He asked, a thought brewing in his mind, effectively dispelling his worries. A smirk made its way on his features. "Don't tell me you haven't gotten me a present on this fine day."

Nevermind keeping his hands to himself, he needed to poke Xiao on the cheek for the full effect.

"I—That's…" Xiao's head whipped up, briefly meeting his gaze before bowing his head in defeat. "Yes, I haven't found you a suitable present yet."

Venti blinked as he withdrew his hand slowly. He was clearly joking, but he didn't know he'd hit the nail right on the head with that one. A bard's intuition sure can be scary…

"A 'suitable' present?" He clarifies, pointing at himself. "For me?"

"Yes." Xiao sighed, and steeled himself for what was to come out of his mouth. "I wanted to give you something that no one else could."

The Adeptus turned to him, all traces of embarrassment had evaporated by then.

"I wanted to give you something that would make you smile here." Xiao gently touches Venti's chest, where his heart would have been. "And see them reflect here too," he continued as he leaned ever so close to Venti's face. There was an intensity that the bard couldn't place, but was enough to prompt him to close his eyes. His expectations did not betray him as Xiao cupped his face as he placed a peck on each eyelid.

Venti found himself unable to speak, his lips parting slightly in surprise.

His imagination had gone wild—providing vivid images of improbable 'what could have beens': Xiao having a headache as he consults Smiley or maybe even Diluc on what type of alcohol best to give him; Xiao running up and down the streets of the Harbor with Whipped Mora Bag in tow, asking about the assortment of goods that would please the bard; Xiao staring down at their bed that was populated with a wide variety of wildflowers—big and small—as he released an armful of apples in their midst, and wondered how he was going to arrange all of it in a neat and coherent display.

There were more.

Each new scenario—each one more ludicrous than the last—spun to life in his head. Yet out of all of them, none of these were good enough for Xiao's standards.

None of those were good enough to be presented to him. It sounded awfully like an offering—one meant to be presented to the gods.

Heat rose within him, making him flush with color. He shook his head and for the upteenth time that day, Venti roared in laughter.

"Oh Xiao… sweetheart… You spent all this time away...pfft." He had to repeat it–dissect it; his mind wasn't comprehending the situation they were in. It was all so ridiculous, to say the least. "To look for a—pffft—for a 'suitable birthday present'—pfft hahaha, my stomach hurts."

And really, it was starting to hurt.

Goodness, this was the best round of laughter yet! One can chalk it up to innocence, and a manifestation of his dearest's puppy-like affection for him, but this was just so, so much more than just Xiao being adorable.

It was a show of Xiao's earnestness.

It was a show of Xiao's devotion.

And it was a show of how he is so, so…

"Venti?" His name on Xiao's lips dripped with concern. The Adeptus took his hands in his and gave them a firm squeeze. "Are you alright?"

Dense.

Venti felt them—finally acknowledged them as he opened his eyes. More of those big, ugly tears came running down his cheeks, yet the glassy walls kept their form, shielding him from the confusion and discomfort that painted his beloved's face. He wiped them away with his still-wet sleeve as he put on his best smile, not crooked in the least.

"Xiao-Xiao," he cooed, this time taking Xiao's hands in his. "Ask me what I want for my birthday."

He was proud of his delivery. He didn't stammer; his voice didn't tremble; his pitch didn't rise in the slightest.

Xiao wiggled one of his hands free and wiped away a stray tear from Venti's face without saying a word. The hand stayed there, rubbing slow, comforting circles on his cheek.

"Go on, ask me." Venti leaned into the touch, his eyes never leaving the Yaksha. "You may as well since you've come empty-handed, need I remind you~"

Xiao opened and closed his mouth, as if he wanted to say something else. Venti was sure of it, so it almost came as a surprise when he relented so easily. (Or was he? His Xiao-Xiao can be quite the loyal, dutiful puppy when he wants to, ehe~)

"Barbatos, what do you want for your—?"

"You." Venti threw himself onto Xiao, trapping him in the tightest of hugs. "All I want is for you to be here with me."

A beat, followed by another and another. Venti felt Xiao's heart beat steadily strong against him as Xiao took his time to wrap his own arms around his pathetically shaking figure.

"Is… is that so?"

"Yes. A hundred, no hundreds of millions of times over, yes." Venti clung on more desperately as a new batch of tears shamelessly made their way down onto Xiao's shirt. "You told me the same thing last time, didn't you? That my presence is everything?"

Damn it, damn it all to the Abyss and back.

He—no, they were doing so well already. They acted as they were before; all the elements are there: a teaspoon of banter, a cupful of embarrassment, a pinch of snark, and a whole bowl of affection. Although, he had to admit that a tablespoon of awkwardness had been mixed in there from the get-go.

He thought he was okay now. He thought he accepted the turn of events and had rationalized all of those ugly feelings away.

He wanted to be that figure whom Xiao could find comfort from—the one who'd listen attentively to his sharings and give him praise and advice as He wanted to be that mature adult—an exemplar—who could handle his emotions properly whom Xiao could learn from. He was his teacher on human emotions, wasn't he?!

And yet… and yet… Look at him now.

"It—hic—it's the same for me. Your being here—hic—is everything to me too."

Venti took a deep breath to steady his breathing. He saw the hurt in Xiao and oh, how he hated being the one to cause it. His eyes grew glassy once more and while found it in himself to smile and to act playfully by bopping Xiao's nose, he knew that his act was not convincing at all.

"Guess, we—hic—we're more alike tha—hic—than you think, ehe~"

Their roles are reversed. Venti was an inconsolable lost child, and Xiao held him in his arms, preventing him from falling apart at the seams.

Some 'teacher of emotions' he was…

Xiao's hold on him grew tighter. His beloved nosed his hair on the back of his head, and left kisses here and there—the faintest of whispers ('I'm sorry') threaded in between each one.

All these soft gestures just brought on a new wave of tears, had him wail, declaring to the heavens of that grief he had bottled up, and had him lose his head in a cocktail of conflicting emotions. He held onto Xiao as if he was holding on for his dear life, and he may as well had been.

It was such a close call. He felt it—the moment the flickering light that was Xiao's life had been snuffed out. It was so apparent—so palpable—the gaping hole in his chest and in his existence. Morax's coldness from a petty fight [1] rang in his ears as something else struggled to fill in that void.

Perhaps one could say that he also felt the exact moment when the wick caught fire once more, for he dwelt in a…somewhat comfortable darkness instead of the land of nightmares as his consciousness had left him.

Venti found himself unable to erase the grief and despair that moment imparted on him, even when light shone down at the end of the tunnel; even when it all ended well; even when his love was there with him now.

Will this feeling ever pass?

With time, perhaps.

'With time', he prayed.

•○●○• ◇ •○●○•

"Lord Barbatos!" "Lord Barbatos!

"The storm broke out! Oh no!"

"Help, we need more help over here!"

"Nooooo, Lord Barbatos!" "Who's that?"

"No, no, good, we can't hold it much longer!"

"Oh no! Oh no!" "The clouds are getting darker and thicker!" "He's not smiling or laughing…" "This is no good…" "Be careful of lightning, everyone!"

"Quick, quick, we need reinforcements!"

"Who is he?!" "Why are the clouds this thick?" "No, no, no!" "Can we still hold out?"

"It's too late for that!" "But we need to make the weather better!" "It's too heavy to clear out now!"

"But Lord Barbatos is crying!"

"What do we do?" "Lord Barbatos…"

"Is there anything we can do?"

•○●○• ◇ •○●○•

"Your life is not yours alone, Xiao. And perhaps… it may have been from the start."

Lord Rex La—Zhongli's words cut through the sound of the falling rain. It echoed as Venti's grasp on him tightened.

Trees provided little shelter from the rain, and while he didn't care about being soaked, he can't say the same with regards to Venti's health. When he arrived, his treasure was already soaked and cold from braving a storm prior. Venti's human form was more susceptible to the elements; there was a risk of growing ill.

Xiao kissed the side of his bard's head and shielded him from the wind and rain as much as possible. He whispered an assurance as another round of sniffling and hiccups raked through the former Anemo Archon's body.

His life may not truly be his alone after all.

He should've known that those were words of caution, an advice for the future—of how his decisions affected others, especially those he cherished.

Just as Xiao worried over Venti's well-being with regards to his poor decisions (waiting for him in the wilderness as it rained) and clumsiness (almost falling off a tree), his troublemaker must have felt as worried as he. Perhaps more, as Venti had a tendency to spend too much time in his head when left bored and alone for too long.

Foolish. It was foolish to assume that he fully grasped the meaning behind Zhongli's words—that it merely echoed the lesson he learned from his talk with Traveler and Paimon. But it went beyond heroes helping one another out; it went beyond knowing one's limitation; it went beyond keeping the memories of loved ones alive in one's heart

"I'm sorry," Xiao whispered. He lost count of the number of times he apologized to the curled up, hiccuping treasure in his arms. He hoped that those words would provide Venti even a sliver of peace.

Today was different. The difference had nothing to do with the occasion.

Greetings between them were short and lively. Teasing remarks came and went, depending on his imp's mood. Yet today, it was prolonged, starting with a delayed reaction upon his arrival and while the teasing was present, it felt less energetic than what Xiao is accustomed to.

It would be a mistake to wave it off as a mere result of lack of sleep.

Venti was right, there were alike in some aspects, and in this case, it would be how thoughts were capable of consuming them. It was one similarity that he wished they weren't alike.

For Venti, whom he had known to be silver-tongued and quick on his feet, his troubles must have been too great for his senses and wit to have dulled to this extent.

Venti's usually deft hands clumsily clung onto his back, pulling him out of his thoughts. Feeling their uncertainty—their inability to discern their next action, whether to hold onto the fabric of his clothes or press onto his bare back—left Xiao lost. Unease brewed and condensed in the pit of his stomach.

Xiao had never seen Venti come so…. undone.

The Yaksha was so used to basking in Venti's confidence, and the sheer shamelessness in his actions. Rex Lapis called Barbatos a 'disgrace to the arts' for a reason.

Venti's sobs and hiccups had calmed. He stayed in his arms, still fumbling with his hands, as he took in deep, soothing breaths.

Xiao did his best to support the calming endeavor, rubbing wide circles on the bard's back and told him that he was going to be okay—that they were okay. A white lie, but one they could both try to put their faith in.

Venti's tears weren't an uncommon appearance, but all prior encounters with them were brief. They would be blinked or wiped away in a flash, or calmed down by a string of reassurances, and (usually) within the same minute, a smile (and, at times, a joke) would take their place.

This… this sight—Venti so vulnerable and meek—was all too foreign for him. His past self would be honored to see Barbatos in this state, but now…

It broke him.

That's right. He did this.

Xiao was thankful to the rain for drowning out the sound of his gnashing teeth. He held Venti closer still, in hopes of grounding himself as his thoughts swirled with anger directed to himself.

How could he forget?

How could he forget a simple fact—one that he held close to his heart as he set to do his duty each morning, each night?

His existence was destruction incarnate.

Those who cross paths with him would suffer misfortune. Those who stand in his way would be cut down. And those who choose to remain by his side will inevitably fall into ruin.

He was as much of a threat to Barbatos as any external forces—the Abyss Order, Celestia, or whatever Powers That Be—that craved his demise. What else could anyone expect from a weapon of war, who pledged to spend his days dwelling in bloodshed? His actions… His words are nothing but crass.

Who would ever entrust treasure to a person such as himself?

"It's-it's just…"

A sob broke out from Venti, the moment he tried to speak.

Xiao wanted to mentally slap himself, and was surprised that Venti hadn't done it himself. These swirling thoughts… The bard had been working so hard to banish these thoughts from his mind, yet here he was welcoming back in.

Venti brought both of his hands closer to himself and tucked them in between their chests. He took a deep breath before, furiously wiping his tears away.

"When you asked me to be careful when I almost fell off the tree earlier, I remembered that day, Xiao."

Venti grabbed onto the front of Xiao's shirt, wringing it—holding onto it so tight that the Adeptus could feel how cold (so cold that it pierced through the thickness of his gloves) they had become as he wrapped each fist with his own hands.

"It was so, so, so very close."

It was then that it occurred to Xiao, his eyes widening as it did.

Venti had been holding back.

All. This. Time.

Since he emerged to the surface of the Chasm.

"It's okay. Let it out," Xiao whispered, compelled to cradle the bard's head and stroke his hair. "Let it all out. I can take it."

It was then that the god of freedom let go of his hold on Xiao's shirt, and looked up at him. Xiao could only bite his inner lip as he held back on shedding his own set of tears. He had no right to.

Venti was expressive—his words and actions, colorful in every way.

Restraint is a normal aspect of everyday life, and while the god of freedom was no exception to this, Xiao found it almost surreal how much of himself Venti was willing to rein in for him.

He could see from those aqua pools a swirl of a myriad of emotions—worry, fear, relief, yearning, love, and all those he couldn't name—and they all wanted release. He believes to be skilled enough to wade in those pools and fish out the meaning held from within.

Xiao wanted to be Venti's freedom in the same way he is to him.

It was the least that he could do for him.

That's why he can take it.

"Earlier, the worst that could've happened to me was sport a bump on my head on or sprain an ankle or some joint," Venti continued, emboldened by his reassurances. "But you, you, you!"

The hands on his chest had curled into fists, pounding on each utterance of the word 'you'. Xiao kept the sigh of relief and the beginnings of a smile to himself. Venti wasn't holding back out of consideration anymore. He savored each blow and the emotions that came with it.

"If you kept falling then… if Morax hadn't stepped in… you…"

Venti's pounding on his chest grew more erratic until those fists slid down to the side. His sentence was riddled with sniffles, yet each word still held the intensity of his feelings. Xiao embraced it, willing to accept it all.

"You would've lost your life. We could have lost you. I could have lost you."

By then, the bard had planted his face onto the Yaksha's chest, letting his tears flow once more.

"Shouldn't an oh-so Wise Illuminated Beast such as yourself know the importance of life?" Venti's voice boomed as his mounting frustration had nowhere else to go. "Then why don't you value yours as much as you value everyone else's? Because Archons-forbid, should you see yourself as someone worth saving or worth sticking around for!"

Xiao wasn't so dense for the sarcasm to go over his head, rather it made him bite his lip as a bout of shame and guilt washed over him. Reprehensible.

How low had he fallen that Barbatos—his former savior and now his lover—had to beg him to value his life more?

Venti wasn't pounding his chest anymore. He didn't know whether it was from guilt for inflicting pain on him (each blow felt nothing to the Adeptus), from fatigue, or both. This outburst only served to trample upon his already shredded heart.

Xiao may not know the extent of Venti's knowledge of the events in the Chasm, but he knew that it was enough to affect and wound Venti this deeply.

That ball of… remorse—he could finally name it—that sat in the pit of his stomach only grew heavier.

He didn't know how to answer those questions.

"I'm angry, Xiao," Venti continued, his tone steadier, colder, yet there wasn't any venom in them. "I have to be angry—for both of our sakes."

Xiao is relieved that the bard wasn't looking at him. Rather than having chills didn't run down his spine, a smile slipped out. This was familiar territory; a sulky Venti was much easier to comprehend and handle.

"I know," he confirmed, placing another kiss on the top of now-matted hair before repeating it. "I know."

He wasn't undermining Venti's anger.

Venti's anger was by no means ugly, unlike those that haunt his nightmares.

It was gentle.

It stemmed from hurt—one that Xiao himself caused—and from genuine concern for his well being. It was not baseless nor was it uncontrollable chaos.

It was endearing.

It was endearing how the god of freedom chose to hold onto his anger just to make a point.

If Xiao didn't know better, he may have attributed it to pure petulance.

But above all else, it was a form of love—Barbatos' love.

"You know how it feels, right?" Venti looked up to him, a gentle firmness in his eyes. "To be the last… to be left behind?"

Venti removed himself from Xiao and sat beside him with his back turned away.

He did. Xiao knew it better than most. And, he knew… and he forgot that Venti was as familiar as he was with the pain of loss, the pain of solitude, the emptiness of it all.

How could he forget something so important?

"Yes, I do," Xiao whispered as he looked away. "And I… I didn't know it at the time, but I may have given into that fear."

It was a shameful confession.

He heard a loud snort coming from the bard. Rather than being met with malice, mockery or some witty quip, he was met with… disappointment—the kind where he shakes his head in fond exasperation.

"Ah, sorry," Venti apologized as he faced him, wiping his nose with his arm, only for it to leave a trail connecting the two. "I didn't quite catch that?"

Xiao let out a soft sigh.

They should take shelter from the rain soon.

This slob had the gall to refuse his help, despite having trouble cleaning up all the tears and snot that practically poured out of him from earlier. Neither of them had the proper tools for this, and his efforts only led to the creation of an intricate web of slime.

Xiao could tell that Venti hated every second of being covered in slime.

The sight was both entertaining and disgusting, yet Xiao convinced himself that had no right to feel disgusted as much as he did.

This was, technically, his fault.

Nevermind the fact that half of his shirt is most likely drenched by some other substance aside from the rain; he did this to himself.

Preposterous. Leave it to this jester to detail his thoughts from its path, and cut through all this tension.

It took tremendous effort to prevent himself from snorting as he watched Venti eventually figure out how to clean himself.

It involved pulling out an impossibly long cloth from a rift in space and using it to wipe his nose and hands. When the piece of cloth was offered to him, Xiao gratefully took it and wiped himself clean as well.

This… briefly reminds him of Bonanus and Menogias' antics. Bonanus' would get herself in sticky situations (in both figurative and literal sense) and Menogias would be in charge of getting her out of it, one too many times.

Just like siblings, those two still stuck out for each other… even to the bitter end.

Fate is a cruel mistress.

"Yes," Xiao simply said as he smothered Venti's face clean with the clean section of the cloth for the last time before returning it to its owner. "But I still stand with my decision at the time."

Venti ripped the fabric from his face and stuffed it roughly back into his pocket dimension.

"That wasn't your answer the first time."

Xiao kept his silence.

He could tell that Venti was fuming inside—the knitted brows, the arms crossed on his chest and his burning fire in his eyes told him that much—but was patient enough to wait for his reply. But as patient as Venti was, so was he, and the bard can't best him in that department.

It didn't take too long for the bard's finger to start rapidly tapping on his elbow.

For the briefest of moments, Xiao entertained a pointless train of thought. If his brothers and sisters were with him then, would they scold him as much as Venti was doing at the moment? Would they be scolded by the bard for being guilty of the same crimes as he?

"Alright, alright, since I'm such a merciful and generous person, I'll let you off with that one," Venti declared, acting nonchalant. Then he leaned over to him with a finger pointed right between his eyes. "But explain to me, in depth, about that 'last will' of yours."

How... did…?

"Which was pure and utter ox dung, if I may add, hmph."

Venti withdrew with a huff, re-crossing his arms in the process. He kept an eye out for him.

"Venti, you…" Xiao swallowed thickly. "You heard us from down there?"

"You," the bard clarified. "Just you."

"And before you accuse me of anything," Venti said, turning as he held up his index finger once more to the Yaksha's face. "I don't condone eavesdropping. I value people's privacy as much as anyone with decency."

Xiao didn't understand where this was coming from but he gave him a curt nod.

Venti smiled in return. It was one tainted in sadness. He looked down on his lap and took his beret in his hands. The confidence from earlier had faded into this mouselike demeanor—timid and small.

"There is a place that the people of Mondstadt dread the most. Do you know what it is?"

"Mare Jivari," Xiao answered in a heartbeat.

Venti's hand stopped fiddling with his hat and his eyes widened a fraction. There were stars in them.

"Correct!" A cheerful smile broke out as Xiao's cheek was subjected to some poking. "As expected of my little helper!"

Xiao refused to feel flustered over being praised for answering a question so common, but he'll treat the peck on his cheek as a welcome reward. He simply heard the same drunken tales one too many times to forget.

"Next question. Do you know why they fear such a place?"

Xiao cupped his chin in thought. He heard of the place being described as a sea of flames and land of scorching sand, that it was a home to fiery god, and the legend that became of the person who travelled it and came back to Mondstadt to tell the tale. Yet, he couldn't recount any formidable reason that would frighten a Mondstadtian.

"Why do the people of Mondstadt fear Mare Jivari?"

Venti had picked up his beret to toy with.

"As you know, Mondstadt is a country under the protection of the Anemo Archon, and they see the blowing winds as his blessing, his guidance, and his providence. Wherever a citizen of Mond may find themself be, they take comfort in the presence of the Wind, and they believe that in the end, the Wind will take them back home."

A smile graced the Anemo Archon's features, gentle yet forlorn.

"Mare Jivari is the only place in Teyvat that the Wind cannot reach and therefore, does not blow."

The god's grip on his beret tightened. Crumpled, the Cecilia on it was dislodged, and it toppled to the muddy ground.

"Well, 'was' is the more correct term." Venti laughed weakly as he scratched his cheek. "I found another one recently."

Realization hit Xiao as if he was struck by lightning. His heart sank and a certain cold numbness took over him. "It's that domain in the Chasm."

"Mm." Venti nodded, letting go of his hat, deflated. "My winds, my words could not pierce through those depths [2]. Morax stopped my descent, to where you were being kept."

Venti may be skilled in masking his emotions, but he was a storyteller at heart. His feelings bled through his words. Despair, powerlessness, and self-loathing, Xiao knew these emotions all too well not to detect them in Venti's recounting of events.

The Yaksha reached out to hold the bard's hand, giving it a squeeze. The gesture was but a small consolation, yet why does the bard treat it as something precious?

"And so," Venti continued as he squeezed back and gave it a quick peck. "I stayed in the Harbor because I had no other choice. Yet I could still hear you, so I clung to the sound of your voice."

Xiao didn't deserve this much love. He didn't have the confidence to face him. He was a brazen fool; he realized as Venti answered his questions.

It was a bitter pill to swallow, but he knew that recognition is always the first step.

Just how could he forget that there was more than one side to a story?

"So don't think ill of me for listening in, okay?"

"I won't," Xiao assured, retrieving his hand and wondering if he still deserved Venti's touch.

"Now, I'll ask you again. What was with that last will of yours?"

Unlike before, there was no playful temperament or annoyance in the bard's tone. It was replaced by genuine curiosity and concern.

"I…" Xiao's throat had gone dry.

There was no excuse. There was no excuse that could justify his lack of self awareness in both actions and words.

Words carry a different weight to Venti, and hearing the Yaksha's willingness to stand by death's door—and throw it wide open himself without a second thought—must have been excruciating. Carrying the knowledge around must've been akin to being poisoned.

Cruelty lay in the most noble of intentions.

Aqua eyes were on him, and he dared not look away. They demanded honesty from him—something Venti had always relied on and praised him for.

"I just had to bring everyone back to the surface. It was all I could focus on at the time."

"With no regard for your life?"

Xiao hesitated at first, but nodded because it was the truth. He wouldn't betray that trust, not now.

Neither of them said a word afterwards. The sound of pouring rain, and the howling wind barriers from the distance filled in the silence.

"Sometimes I wonder if it's my fault that your head can be so full of air…" Venti grumbled.

"Pardon?" Xiao heard him the first time, but he wondered if this imp could say it out loud for a second time. Guilty he may be, he still had some pride left as an Adeptus.

"Nothing," came the firm statement from the bard before a gripe. "I swear, one moment you remember being a living, breathing person, and then you go gambling your life away the next."

Venti made a show out of his indignation—scratching his head profusely and groaning as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Xiao wasn't sure if the reaction was an exaggeration or if it was exactly the amount of frustration the situation deserved. Either way, the resulting sparkle in his imp's eye told him that it was the latter.

"I love you, Alatus, my silly, silly boy." Venti was tired, and yet he still chose to smile for him as he cupped his 'silly' face. "That's so like you—stubborn, and perhaps prideful, to a fault."

"There's no harm in asking for a little bit more help, you know? Didn't it sink in that you were a team in there? Honestly!"

That's right…

Xiao brought a hand to cover his eyes and chuckled.

Dwelling in his thoughts for too much had rendered him stupid. He couldn't blame Venti for thinking that he forgot how loved and cherished he was. He had taken his family's—Venti's—affections for granted.

"What else could anyone expect from a weapon of war, who pledged to spend his days dwelling in bloodshed? His actions… His words are nothing but crass.

"Who would ever entrust treasure to a person such as himself?"

Why did he even ask?

Barbatos himself did it. He entrusted himself to Xiao, to Alatus—as callous and crass as he was. Venti believed in him—in what he saw and what he continued to see in him—and judging from his conduct, he will continue to do so well into the future.

Xiao felt a weight being lifted from him. He breathed out a sigh. While the heaviness of his emotions may continue to stir within him, they became less oppressive and easier to accept.

Venti was too naïve, too kind-spirited. But, that was Xiao's exact motivation for protecting him. It was what drove him to strive in becoming someone worthy and able to reciprocate that love.

"Hey, no fair." Venti ripped his hand away so that he could see how his brows knitted together cutely in annoyance. His bard never liked being kept out of the loop. "What is that sigh for?"

Xiao had, long ago, resigned to the fact that he was putty in Venti's hands, and it was laughable how for the longest time, it hadn't crossed his mind that perhaps, maybe, the same could be said for Venti too.

Just as an action would merit a reaction in objects, the same principle applies to people and matters of the heart.

"Nothing."

Venti rolled his eyes, humming his disbelief as he played with the Adeptus' face as much as he pleased.

"Then how about that rhyme back there, did you notice that?" Music filled his ears in the form of Venti's chuckling. The wrinkle on his brow vanished.

"No," Xiao admits, too distracted by the warmth washing over him as drank in the melody and light that enveloped him.

"You're no fun, you know that?"

"I do," Xiao admitted. "But you chose to love me anyway."

Venti blinked mutely, giving Xiao's facial muscles some rest.

"You know what? You're right."

Xiao was released, much to his relief.

"And honestly? I should have seen it coming." Venti squeezed Xiao's nose in between two fingers before bopping his nose with it. "Not just about the rhyme or the retort, okay? I mean your actions back then."

Venti withdrew just before the Yaksha could catch his finger with a giggle.

"Because I know. I know you and how the little cogs in your head work out the most infuriating of plans."

The Adeptus' mouth parted slightly. It surprised him at how much Venti's, and even his, mood had lifted in mere minutes.

"Infuriating, huh?" Xiao muttered under his breath, whilst averting his eyes. It was all he could say. He hadn't apologized properly yet, and he was forgiven already. It felt like he was, even if there had been no exchange on it.

"You're a smart cookie, my dear, but when it comes to your life, you risk it with no fear."

The lecture continued, and to Xiao, he didn't mind. He came with full knowledge that he was getting one, or two, or a dozen.

Venti reached out to his lap, which prompted him to focus on him once more.

"I want you to know that I understand where you're coming, and that because I do understand that I worry… excessively."

His bard's explanation was like a breeze caressing his cheek, soothing and gentle. It presented reason in a manner that even a child could understand.

Xiao kept his silence as Venti began doodling on his lap, getting his points out as he regained the composure of a sage—wise in his years—as he gave his speech.

"Deny it all you want, but Xiao-Xiao, you are kind. Your intentions are noble, and with that said, you wanted to fulfil your duty to keep everyone safe under your watch. You needed to get everyone out of there and did anything to make that happen."

"I'm proud of you. You gave them a chance to lay out their reasoning without much of a fuss." Venti's scribbles had come to an end as he came to pat the Yaksha's cheek before giving it a good pinch. His cheeky imp even had a grin to match the joviality in his tone. "Heck, I heard you gave Lumine a hard time to even get an audience with you the first time!"

"The same treatment happened to you, yes?" Xiao offered in retort as he tended to his cheek. Venti really gave it a number, perhaps his anger hasn't completely died down just yet.

"Oh yeah…" Venti blinked, his finger tapping on his chin. The grin was back on a second later. "Ehe, funny, how that stuck-up attitude of yours aged, hmmm?"

Xiao rolled his eyes, refusing to give Venti the reaction he was looking for—him sputtering like a fool.

"Still, good job, my warrior." Venti tousled his hair with a giggle before continuing with a solemn voice. The grin had mellowed down back into a soft smile. "It was tough, desperate situation—one where you can only bet survival on a stupid, stupid gamble. I get that. But still… I still want to complain about something: that stupid pride of yours."

"You can be so incredibly bullheaded at times, you know that?" Venti didn't bother waiting for Xiao's reply and went on a roll. "You may have given them a chance, but your mind was already made up. That's not the proper way of entering a discussion, is it? In life or death situations, keeping an open and flexible mind is key."

Venti sighed, scratching uselessly on his cheek.

"I really didn't think I'd have to explain this to you." He continued, hesitant, but his smile remained unfaltering. "You know this already, and I'm sure you've done this in the past yourself, yes?"

Xiao nodded as he directed his gaze elsewhere—anywhere, as long as he escaped Venti's. "I was a general once."

He was surprised when the bard addressed him as such earlier. He had no recollection of ever sharing about his days as one, but perhaps it was common knowledge. Lord Barbatos visited his Liege, Lord Rex Lapis, frequently during those days.

Xiao was drawn to the pool that surrounded them.

"I led battles and was once accountable for the lives of many, I…"

Just as the water's surface rippled under pouring rain, so too did his heart as he looked back. He didn't want to admit it; he wanted to believe that he made peace with the past a long time ago.

After all, the fate of their kind is a forgone conclusion.

"I was more open-minded about such things."

In those ripples, he found fragments of a time when he wasn't all alone—a time when there were hundreds of them fulfilling a contract under Rex Lapis. All of them brothers- and sisters-in-arms, tasked 'to purge evil through slaughter'.

The Yaksha, as a people, were not meant to be alone.

Their methods of purification involved—relied on—an intricate dance. They danced in the battlefields, day and night, come rain or snow, until their target had been subjugated and eliminated. Many fell in this dance, rendered lifeless as they used the powers bestowed on them by their masks, or driven into insanity as they lost their sense of self from the wills of the gods they defeated, whose voices seeped through the cracks of their minds and souls.

The Yaksha as a people were not meant to be alone, but the Yaksha as individuals were pushed by their fate to embrace solitude.

Xiao felt a tight squeeze on his hand, a reassuring gesture. Venti scooted closer, laying his head on his shoulder.

"Then what changed?"

A quick glance confirmed that they were watching the same scenery.

So long ago was the past that Xiao's views on battle survival had altered greatly. The situation between then and now were different. Yet, some principles remain the same, don't they? Yet, there were some that he chose to discard of his own volition.

"Nothing," Xiao admitted. "I was, as you would put it, 'foolhardy' and 'cocky', even then."

General Alatus was not one to leave the battlefield until the threat had been successfully put down. While every battle led in that war assured death, he was not one to treat his troops' lives as expendable resources. He knew when to retreat, and when to surrender. He would remain until the last of his men had gone, even then he found it more and more difficult to leave with each passing battle.

General Alatus would see to the vile creature's demise himself.

Venti quickly withdrew, opening his mouth to say something heated, only to swallow it back down and looking away. "I see…"

The was bitterness in his chuckle, albeit found in small traces.

"Given that you've made up your mind… about your self-sacrifice back there in the Chasm…" Venti trailed off. "It may just be my imagination, but it sounds like you were stalling for time."

Venti took his hand and rubbed it across his cheek.

"That maybe, you had something you didn't want to leave so easily behind…"

He looked at him with a sad smile. Xiao wanted nothing more but to take that sadness away.

"Someone," the Yaksha corrected, closing his eyes, before turning his gaze back to Venti. "It's someone," he confessed.

His bard was stunned. The Adeptus took advantage of that and leaned forward until their noses were almost brushing, their eyes locked and unable to break free—not that either wanted to. Glassy yet bright, Venti's aquamarine jewels reflected the moment when joy replaced anticipation, and the immense love that overtook him. Sorrow still lurked in its depths, but there is little he could do to ease it. He took back control of his hand and guided Venti's face to finally meet with him in a kiss.

It was chaste, but he put all his affections into that one gesture.

"Geez," Venti exclaimed when they parted, blinking away a wall of emotion threatening to spill all over again. His giggling were like chimes rustling in the wind, presenting him the sweetest of songs. "You really are a heartbreaker, you know that my idiotic Yaksha?"

"Call me whatever you please."

"Do-don't—" Venti stuttered as a flash of pink spread across his face. "Don't think I'm done with you yet!"

Xiao let out an amused huff.

"How come you're back to being cocky?" Venti pinched the Yaksha's ear, twisting it before dragging it closer to his mouth. "If that were the case, then I truly wish you included yourself whenever you utter the word 'everyone'."

Xiao looked up and gone was the pretty pink gracing Venti's cheeks. An indecipherable emotion replaced it.

A lump formed in his throat; he felt his heart being stomped on.

He had encountered this look before but dismissed it as a look of fond resignation then. But seeing it again… he knew better than to dismiss as just that. This was the second time. There was something more to it than just that.

"I must sound like a broken record by now, but… please treasure yourself more, Xiao. Two archons were scrambling to get you back home safe and sound, you know?" Venti let go of the Yaksha's ear. There it was; Xiao caught it in time—that flash of raw emotion along with the tiniest hint of a waver in his tone. "If you can't do it for me, then do it for your old man, yeah?"

Venti's jewel-like eyes whispered to him their secrets once more but, regrettably, this was one of the messages he had yet obtained the means to decode.

The smile Venti put on had a certain weight in it, and Xiao endeavored to match it as he recognized that it may be heavier than the lump in his throat and weighted ball in the pit of his stomach combined.

Even so, Xiao wanted to move past simple understanding. He knew he needed to act. The Yaksha opened his mouth to say something—anything.

But before he knew it, the moment was gone.

Venti's attention flitted upward and all around, his eyes crinkling as he giggled. Shakily, Venti's finger pointed at him

"Pfft, Xiao," his bard called, covering his mouth as he tried to suppress his giggling. "Don't you feel any of that?"

Xiao tilted his head to the side. "Feel what?"

And then he did.

Small wisps of white and aqua surrounded him and only him. Perhaps he too had his senses compromised by the situation—too absorbed by their conversation to have noticed that they had an audience.

How can he describe himself as 'vigilant' when creatures as simple as small elemental beings can sneak up on him?

"I-is that all you can say?" Venti asked as he cackled away. "After upsetting the little ones?"

Xiao began to feel lighter upon witnessing his treasure's delight. His guard was slipping once more, but he couldn't care less—not when he was transfixed by the sight before him.

He could drown in Venti's laughter and smile forever.

He didn't mind the tiny forms jumping up and down all around him—on his shoulders, his arms, his lap, and even on his head—or the tiny feet kicking him with all of their might.

From the corner of his eye, he saw the Anemo Elemental Sprites had literal steam coming out of their heads. They were the ones who were quick in raining down their attacks on him. Others were in tears, attacking him more languidly as they could barely continue the assault.

He knew that they were saying something to him, all at once, but he could barely register the sounds they made. Those that he heard were all gibberish to him. He wasn't blessed with the gift of language, unlike Venti who nodded along as a few Sprites went to report to him of their plight

"You say that I 'upset' them'," Xiao began as he carefully removed his attackers on his person, but to no avail. The little ones (just like a certain someone) would simply flock back to him and continue their assault. "But how exactly? I've never laid a hand on them nor have I spoken harshly—if at all—to them."

Xiao had to admit, he had seen a moody Anemo Elemental Sprite before in the form of a moody Sprite Venti, and judging by their demeanor, they were indeed upset.

If memory serves right, the little ones were quick to flee when either party came too close to each other.

All activity ground to a halt and all eyes were on Xiao. Even the Sprite in between his fingers turned to him to give him a blank look.

Were they… stunned by his reply?

The Sprite in between his fingers redoubled its efforts to break free and once escaped, it flew off a short distance, only to come barrelling back with a headbutt to his forehead.

The collision left the Sprite cross-eyed, wobbly staying afloat, and him only slightly inconvenienced. It felt like one of Venti's forehead flicks, perhaps lighter.

Venti snorted loudly in the background.

Xiao surmised that it—no, they—were unhappy with his answer.

While he was distracted by the Sprite that headbutted him, the other Sprites all around him had joined the others who were hanging about in the air. And by the time he noticed, they already decided on their next move: to swarm him. They grabbed his arms first, then his legs, then they lifted him out of his seat and positioned him facing the clouds overhead.

Venti continued to laugh at the Yaksha's dilemma; he caught him holding onto his stomach, lurching forward.

"Is this one of your pranks?" Xiao asked, raising an eyebrow.

He lightly struggled from the elemental beings' hold, only to find it futile. They may be small, but they are a formidable force. Should he exert anymore force, he feared that he'd hurt them.

"Tell them to put me down. Now."

"Hey, hey, it's not my doing!" Venti exclaimed with his hands up. "It's all on them. But hmmm…"

Xiao strained his neck up, to get a better view of the humming imp.

"Well, I suppose, it's just desserts for belittling my valiant knights' attempts at preserving my happiness."

As sweet as Venti's giggles sounded, it only served to poke at the Yaksha's patience.

"Huh? I wasn't belittling anyone," Xiao reasoned as he shook his arms in another escape attempt.

He groaned and let his head fall back down, which the Sprites supported at a proper and surprisingly comfortable angle. They seem to be compassionate captors.

Perhaps he wasn't being held against his will without reason. Should he start reflecting?

Either way, his statement must have offended them more somehow, seeing as the Sprites moved to the next phase: eliminate the threat.

The little ones began to drag Xiao away from their Lord Barbatos, bringing him toward the direction where Mond and Liyue's borders meet. Xiao clicked his tongue, piecing it together.

Even the Anemo Sprites sensed that he was very much a threat to their Lord Barbatos that they needed to send him away. Gentle creatures as they were, they decided to simply whisk him away in hopes that their Lord would smile and praise them upon their return.

Knowing Venti, he probably would, given the sheer amusement he was deriving from this.

"I'll apologize properly, just please rein them in and ask them to release me."

"Idiot, do that yourself!" came Barbatos' scolding. Xiao may have winced from it. "Apologize to them, not me."

Venti tutted.

"They've worked so hard keeping the storm away to see me smile in the light of this blessed day. Then you came along, and…" A pause, then a light chuckle. "Well, they've not heard me sing a whale song [3]. Not in a long time."

Xiao heeded the advice, despite his lack of understanding about the last part of the rhyme, and sighed.

They all had a point. He upset Venti to the extent that the Anemo Sprites felt the need to intervene.

He pivoted his head, unsure where to look; there were so many of them. He decided to simply close his eyes and clear his throat to catch their attention.

They pause just as they were level with the ravine's top. He apologized, owned up for his wrongdoings, and promised to make up for them.

The Sprites discussed their options amongst themselves in that mysterious language of theirs, and by the time they seemed to have made a decision, the rain had lightened to a drizzle.

Splash!

Xiao fell with his upper half landing on the pool, and the rest of his body, on the muddy ground. He didn't have enough altitude or space to land on his feet.

Anemo Elemental Sprites truly are Venti's kin—quick to act, quick to forgive, and quick to latch onto mischief.

Chuckling, Venti jumped off the branch and held a hand to his face.

"Had your fun?" Xiao asked and accepted the help offered to him.

Troubling as it was, he was thankful for the intervention. Smiles like this belonged on Venti's face more than those bitter tears from earlier.

There would never come a day where Xiao would tire of seeing Venti's blithe and teasing nature.

"Mm-hm~" The bard nodded as he pulled him up with one heave. The effort not only brought the Yaksha to his feet, but had brought their faces dangerously close."You have to admit, they're so cute play—I mean, acting, yes, acting!—as my knights."

Venti often called him his knight… Was this a provocation? His half-lidded eyes and smirk told him 'yes'.

Xiao huffed, and before Venti could react, he closed the gap between them, stealing a kiss, and trapped him in an embrace.

"I won't argue with you on that."

All it took was a second for the giggling to start.

"Good," Venti said as he eased into the hug, circling his arms around Xiao's torso and pulling himself closer so that he could lay his head on his shoulder. Xiao's own hands trailed lower until they settled on Venti's waist.

They stayed like that, locked into each other's embrace; sharing heat between them under the cold, drizzling rain; and, attuning themselves with each other. Each breath, each heartbeat, each sigh was accounted for, earning a token of appreciation from each other. A giggle was rewarded with a peck, a kiss on the head earned a nuzzle, and a slight shift to the right—a misstep, at first—was reciprocated with a shift to the left.

A move whose purpose was to maintain balance had evolved into a dance.

Absurd.

Yet that's how it was with Barbatos around. One thing would lead to another, opening up possibilities, widening horizons, and… Xiao's heart fluttered as he matched each step.

A waltz, it became a slow waltz. They played by their own rules without regard for ideal footwork or hand placement, and it kept evolving. Still.

No words were spoken between them, and yet they were in sync. They knew which direction to step next; he knew when Venti would twirl, and his partner knew when Xiao would hold him close.

Xiao found himself answering to Venti's giggles with his own round of chuckles—spilling freely from his own mouth as if it was expected of him.

And perhaps it was, what with the growing number of stars he could glimpse in Venti's eyes.

This was different.

He was so used to just playing along with Venti's whims, getting dragged into one hare-brained scheme into another. But this time, he had a hand in it—stumbling and experimenting with those possibilities that Venti saw.

His own actions played into the creation of this moment filled with absurdity and bliss.

He couldn't explain it properly, not even to himself.

It was as if he was back in the air with the little ones whisking him away again. He felt so light, weightless even.

"I love you, Barbatos," he said once Venti twirled back right into his arms.

Xiao thought it was redundant to describe—to put into words—something that was painfully obvious. Actions always held more weight to him, for they made sincerity, loyalty and dedication into something more tangible.

Yet, when the words tumbled out of his mouth, none of it felt redundant, or too abstract. In fact, consolidating his feelings into words made it feel concrete.

"I love you," Xiao repeated, unable to wait for a response. He needed to say it again.

He felt that he hadn't professed his love for his treasure nearly enough.

"Hey, what's with that face?" Venti asked, flicking the space right between the Yaksha's eyes with a giggle. "You'll pop a vein if you keep that up! Care to share your thoughts?"

"Words are just as powerful as actions, huh?" Xiao blurted out.

"Now, I really wonder what goes on in that head of yours!" Venti guffaws before reaching to cup Xiao's face and pushing his bangs to the side. "I love you too, my silly Alatus."

Xiao closed his eyes as Venti kissed him on the lips. Chaste and short, he almost chased after it once Venti withdrew. He also felt something land on his head. He reached and patted the object. It was soft and round… a flower crown?

He looked and saw three Sprites hanging about. He turned to Venti and saw him dazed, his smile reaching from ear to ear. He chuckled lightly, wondering, and why was he the one to receive the gift, how this simple addition was enough to captivate a god.

Nonetheless, he was again, indebted grateful to these attentive Elemental Spirits for making his treasure smile. He thanked them for the gift.

The smiles and upward crescent eyes he received in return were similar to Venti's. Cute.

"Ehe, I see that you've taken a liking to the little ones."

"I never had any qualms with them," Xiao admitted, bringing his beloved closer—close enough to whisper in the shell of his ear, "not now, not ever."

He felt a small shudder run through Venti's body.

"Thank you. I mean it." The wind god laid his head onto his shoulder and began playing with his necklace, twirling the obsidian around his fingers. "They're such sweet creatures with a bleeding heart. They've not seen me grow so upset in a long, long time, so—"

"I know." Xiao hushed Venti with a finger. He didn't want his apologies; the Yaksha believed that he didn't deserve them. "There's nothing to forgive when there is no slight that's been made."

"They almost kicked you out of Mondstadt, you know!" Venti exclaimed, withdrawing to give him an incredulous look.

"You can't use that argument, not when that was your doing, idiot." It was Xiao's turn to land a forehead flick onto Venti's head full of air. "They had your permission, and you made no move to stop them."

Venti stuck a tongue out at him, squeezing his eyes shut, as he protected his forehead from further assault. Xiao scoffed as he took down Venti's hand-barricade.

"They were just protecting you from the 'wicked and malevolent Yaksha' who brought one of their own to tears." Xiao frowned when he saw a red spot. He remembered being gentle, but it apparently wasn't gentle enough. He kissed the afflicted spot. "They're only treating you with the love and respect that you deserve, as they should."

A sigh and a raised eyebrow greeted him upon withdrawing. "And you haven't?"

Xiao was taken aback by the sharpness of Venti's intuition. He pursed his lips and looked away.

"Yes," he admitted with a heavy heart, "and it's been more evident during the past couple of weeks."

The Adeptus endeavored.

He tried to be more mindful of his actions towards Venti: be gentler, exercise more patience, reciprocate affection when it is given, to name a few.

The rewards were instantaneous, in the small ways that Xiao took pleasure in. They came in the form of longer lasting smiles, that short moment when he sees Venti's excitement is taken a notch higher where his eyes take on a new layer of sheen and shimmers brighter than ever, and his favorites the quick pecks on the cheek and stolen kisses. There were more, but he couldn't possibly list them all. Venti had always been generous with these rewards, whether he knew it or not.

But even then, Xiao didn't know if his efforts were truly enough.

"I'm sorry."

"We~ll," Venti said as he took hold of the Yaksha's cheek and pinched hard, "if you're going to sulk about it, then you should've come home sooner!"

Venti did it again. He caught him off guard.

'Home'

It was a concept that Xiao misunderstood for the longest time. He never dwelt on it since it was something he never had.

One battle would just bleed into another, and all he ever needed was a shelter if he needed recuperation.

But now… he knew better.

Xiao bit his bottom lip and brought his fist to his mouth, stifling his own laughter at Venti's logic and at his own actions.

'Home' was right there in his arms, and gr taunting him with that signature smile of his.

"Did you just realize your own silliness, Mr. I-Can't-Stop-Until-I-Repay-All-Debts-Yaksha?" Venti wiggled his trapped cheek up and down for emphasis. "Hmmm?"

Xiao didn't know if he should be surprised, or not, at this point. Venti read him as though he was an open book. His cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling too much for too long the exertion. He couldn't help it; it was all involuntary.

"How, you ask?" His bard released him from his hold, looking very much pleased with himself. "Simple. Once you see the pattern, it becomes predictable."

Venti turned to him, unhappy with his stoicism. With puffed up his cheeks, he looked away with a 'hmph'.

"And seriously, do you think I'm gullible enough to believe that you spent a fortnight looking for a perfect present for me?"

"No." Xiao struggled to keep his tone neutral and even.

"I thought so too."

It always puzzled Xiao what made Venti's laughter so magical. Was it some unheard of Adepti Art? Does being an entertainer have something to do with it? Not only did it have the power to chip away at his defenses but it had the ability to blow away his doubts and insecurities.

His really cheeks hurt now. Fighting it had been tedious, but he kept it under control for now.

"I don't mean to make fun of it, but put a little more faith in me, will you?" Venti continued, since it seemed that the Yaksha was satisfied with just hearing him talk. "While I wish you would, at least, try not to count every act of goodwill as a 'debt', I also know that repaying them is important to you."

Venti turned back to him, and gently put the Adeptus fist down. His tone was more solemn, more pensive. He asked for his full attention.

"And I respect that. Why else do you think I haven't pestered you since our last talk?"

A toothy smile, eyes turned into upward crescents and a soft chuckle gave the air of a confident reassurance, but Xiao sensed a drop of unease there—creating new ripples under the surface.

"Look, I'm… I'm also sorry about earlier. I know that it's a delicate time for you, yet I—"

Venti sighed, still smiling but now more relaxed, and it held a kind of sadness that wrapped itself around Xiao's heart, clenching it.

"I shouldn't have poured all of that on you." Aqua eyes met his own golden one, determined yet repentant. "You aren't responsible for how I react to certain things, you hear?"

"But I am," Xiao responds immediately, stunning the bard. "I hurt you. My choices and my lack of empathy and self-regard hurt you. So please, Venti, hold me accountable."

It took Venti a second to recover before shaking his head.

"There are matters where others' opinions on your choice shouldn't hold any weight, and back there in the Chasm would be one of those instances," Venti lectured as if he were explaining about the complexities of the world to a child. "My outburst was just born from my immaturity… my selfishness… and my incompetence..."

Xiao didn't know what to say, or what to do as he watched a fresh tear slide down Venti's cheek.

"I just didn't want to lose someone I gave my heart to so quickly, you know."

The sadness that gripped his heart squeezed it with such force that it burst, and out with it came the negative swirl of emotions that he thought he had let go of: frustration, confusion, hurt, helplessness, and many more that he couldn't name.

"Then hold me accountable," he insisted, gritting his teeth as he trapped Venti into another fierce embrace, "in the same manner as you are taking responsibility for your feelings."

They spent all this time making him understand how one action can extend its effects beyond the desired results. He had come around it and accepted responsibility for it.

And now, here came Barbatos, campaigning the complete opposite of what they had established earlier.

"But—"

"No buts, Barbatos."

'Gentler', Xiao reminded himself as he put his hands on Venti's shoulders and pushed him lightly to look him in the eye.

He took a deep breath to calm himself.

He needed to communicate his thoughts with the same level of patience, compassion and understanding that the bard had with him during their lessons.

"There is nothing to apologize for," Xiao began. "It isn't selfish or immature, and you're referring to our lessons when you say 'incompetent', right? You're not that either."

Xiao wiped away a few more tears that hadn't made it down to Venti's chin.

"Never apologize to me about your feelings."

"But I shouldn't make you feel bad about your choices," Venti protested and looked away. "You are free to make it, especially when—"

His little one bit his lip, shaking his head fervently.

"And I hit you! Yeah… I shouldn't have done that."

They truly were alike. They were both stubborn, old mules. But Venti wouldn't be Venti if he didn't resist, even a little.

Xiao didn't dwell on the self-censorship and focused on the reasons he was given.

"It's nothing worse than what we're used to." Xiao lifted Venti's chin up with a finger and smiled. It was a pure and conscious effort to provide reassurance. "I was actually relieved when you started hitting me earlier. You were just doing what you've always told me before: to recognize, accept, and let the feelings flow. Isn't that what you call a demonstration?"

His smile may not be reassuring, but if it could stave off Venti's worries even for a moment, then his effort is worth the trouble.

"Stop, -you're trying too hard." Venti pursed his lips, stifling an upcoming guffaw.

Xiao put more effort into his smile, straining his facial muscles as much as they did earlier, and the attempt successfully broke down Venti's defenses as joyous peals of laughter resounded all around them.

"Xia-hahahaha"

The Adeptus sighed in relief. He was thankful that Venti was easy to distract, and his reassurances were enough to appease his little one's inner demons.

He ruffled Venti's hair affectionately.

"You are difficult to understand, at times, Barbatos."

Venti paused and blinked at him. Sheepish, he stuttered an apology.

Xiao hushed him with a finger and kissed the corner of his little doubter's lips.

"It's a challenge that I don't mind taking."

Venti's eyes widened, bright and clear. Excitement and joy reflected his ever-growing smile.

It was that look that Xiao missed so dearly.

"Oh, you!" Venti practically threw himself at him with enough force that could have them crashing down onto the pond, had Xiao not prepared for this eventuality. "I'm so lucky to have you, Alatus. I love you!"

"I love you too, Barbatos," he whispered as he spun his treasure around, earning him a round of giggles.

"I don't know if I said this before, but Alatus, I admire your strength, not just in the physical sense, but of character." Venti said, as his feet touched the ground. "You've mastered the art of accepting and processing emotions behind my back!"

"It's all thanks to you, idiot." Xiao flicked his 'teacher's' nose, remembering to put less force in it this time.

"Hey, isn't that mean to call me that?" His treasure giggled, hugging him even tighter.

"But you like it, don't you?"

"What gave you that idea?! Maybe you're the 'idiot' for lacking some commonsense?"

They both devolved into a bout of chuckles, staying locked in each other's embrace even when it had come to pass. Venti's head laid on his shoulder once more.

"In all seriousness, I really am proud of you, my love." Venti said, sighing and becoming limp in his arms. Xiao wordlessly carried his weight, carrying the same amount of contentment as his love. "You didn't give up until the very end."

Venti paused, feeling the fresh breeze that passed them by as the clouds above gave way to the sun.

Xiao himself didn't mind the cold that the after-rain breeze had brought. Despite the fact that they were both soaked from head to toe, (moreso he, since he fell into the pond) he welcomed it, appreciated it.

It was as if it carried their worries with it as it passed. It contrasted well with the warmth building up inside of him. He could tell the same warmth was building up inside of his treasure too.

"Hey, Xiao," Venti called as he stared up at him. The admiration he found in those aqua pools caught him off-guard once more. Keeping count, he realized, was nothing but a futile endeavor. "How do you do it? How do you stay true to yourself despite… everything?"

Xiao gave it some consideration.

"What do you mean?"

To this, Venti buried his face onto his shoulder.

"I... I thought I would lose myself," he whispered as his hand clenched onto the fabric of Xiao's clothes,"to the voices and the pain."

Cold. Frigid cold.

A full body shiver ran through him.

The Adepti are impervious to the cold. Yet, Xiao could remember so vividly the winters from a very distant past. He never thought that there could be anything that could compare to it.

"████ ███ █ █████ ███████ █ ███ █ █████ ██ ██ ███████████ ██████ ████ ██ █████"

Not until now.

His mind screamed at him to move, but he was stuck—unable to speak, unable to hear, unable to feel anything else as the cold seeped through his skin, seeped into his heart, seeped into the fibers of his very being.

"Your life is not yours alone, Xiao."

---

A/N: Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed that rollercoaster ride. Hopefully, I can finish the next part soon. *fingers crossed*