As Marissa drove through the gates toward her father's apartment, all she could think was that if you had asked her three days earlier to describe her life, she would have said it was pretty boring and ordinary. Unfortunately, just when you think things are going pretty well is usually when life steps in and decides to shake things up.
The day had started badly when she got into the shower and realized too late that she was out of conditioner. She knew that getting the tangles out of her long hair was going to be a painful experience. Normally she liked living alone. Her one bedroom apartment was of modest size but it was home to her, but that day she would have given anything to be able to blame the empty conditioner bottle and the sour milk in her refrigerator on anyone besides herself. Once she arrived at the Centre, she found that someone had taken her reserved parking space adding to her already frustrating morning. The first thing she did when she got to her office was check her voice mail. The icing on her crappy morning was hearing her mother's voice telling her it was urgent she called her back.
Marissa really liked her job as an addiction counselor at the Centre. Her life in San Diego was a far cry from the one she had in Newport, but she liked it that way. In fact, it was part of the appeal of San Diego – no charity functions to attend, no gossiping socialites, no wondering if you brought shame on the family by wearing last season's fashions. It was simpler, easier and she was happy. She had worked hard over the last seven years to get to this point, and part of that work involved staying away from Newport. There were too many painful memories there. After rehab she cut all ties to her childhood home. Marissa hasn't stepped foot back in Newport since the day after she got out of rehab. Caitlin and her dad came to visit her in San Diego, but she rarely talked to her mother, usually birthdays and Christmas. She felt no guilt about it because in reality Marissa and Julie had never had a real relationship. You couldn't miss what you had never had.
When she checked her voice mail again at ten-thirty that morning and heard what was now the fourth message from Julie Cooper-Nichol, she visibly cringed.
"What was that look for?" Georgia asked. Georgia Kelly and Marissa had started work at the Centre the same week. Georgia was a counselor too and they had become fast friends. They had offices next door to each other and shared an assistant. They could often be found having lunch together, going over their cases or their lives.
"My mom left me a message. Apparently it's urgent that I call her back." Marissa explained as she rolled her eyes for effect. Georgia knew some of Marissa's history but not all of it. She was well aware of the contentious nature of Marissa's relationship with her mother though.
"Are you going to call her back?" she asked, leaning against the doorframe.
"Not now. I've got a session in fifteen minutes that I need to prepare for. I'll call her later from home."
"You know what we say about procrastination?" Georgia teased. One of the Centre's mantras was that you needed to address your issues as they came up. Putting things off only made them more difficult to deal with.
"Ya, ya I know. But you don't know my mom. What is urgent for her is usually irrelevant to everyone else. It's probably some stupid charity function that she wants me to attend. You'd think after seven years she'd understand that I will not play the dutiful daughter anymore."
"Well, you've got to give her points for persistence…" Georgia grinned.
"Very funny. Trust me, what ever it is, it can wait until tonight." Marissa said.
"So, do you have lunch plans?"
"I am booked solid all day. Rain check?"
"Sure thing. I'll stop by later and check on you." Georgia replied.
"Thanks."
Marissa tried to put her mother's voice mail out of her mind and focus on the tasks at hand. She was at the Centre until after eight that night catching up on paperwork and in a small way, avoiding going home. Finally at eight thirty she collected her purse and keys and headed home. The instant she walked in she saw the message light blinking on the machine. Instead of listening to the messages, she gathered up her courage, picked up the phone and dialed her mother's number.
She answered on the third ring.
"Hello?"
"Mom, it's me. You called?" Marissa said in a flat voice.
"Marissa, honey. I'm so glad you called me back."
"What's up?"
"Sweetie, I don't know how else to say this, so I'm just going to say it." Julie replied.
"Spit it out mom."
"Marissa, there's been an accident…your father was driving home from work and…"
"What mom? Is he OK?"
"Honey, your father didn't survive the accident. We need you to come home for the funeral on Friday." Julie explained.
Marissa didn't know what to say. She was beyond shocked.
"Marissa?" Julie prompted after a moment of silence.
"Ya, I'm still here. Of course I'll come home. How is Caitlyn?" Marissa was starting to think again.
"She's staying at your father's apartment. I didn't want her to be alone but she refused to come stay with Caleb and I. You know you are welcome to stay here when you come home." Julie offered.
"No, I think I'll just stay in a hotel. It will be easier. Do you need me to do anything?" Marissa asked.
"Everything is being taken care of. The service will be at two in the afternoon. Will you come down on Thursday?"
"We'll see. I'll have to rearrange my schedule. I'll let you know when I figure everything out."
"It'd be nice if you could stay for a little while. I'm sure Caitlyn would appreciate it." Julie hinted.
"We'll see Mom." Marissa said a little more forcefully. Julie was forever trying to get Marissa to come to Newport but she always found a reason not to. "I'll call you tomorrow and let you know what's going on."
"Sure thing sweetie."
Despite being six years without a drink, that night the urge to open a bottle of vodka and pour the burning liquid down her throat was powerful. She was so overwhelmed by the feelings she was having that the only thing she could really think about was numbing them, but six years of sobriety had taught her a lot. So instead of listening to the messages on her machine, she put her shoes back on and went to a meeting. Marissa had long ago accepted that alcohol would be a life long struggle for her. She still went to AA meetings at least once a week and saw a counselor of her own. She understood intimately that sometimes you just needed a little help and she knew from experience that tonight was one of those times.
It had taken her two days to rearrange her schedule so that she could have the two weeks off to be in Newport for the funeral. The days had passed in flurry of phone calls and condolences from those she worked with. Which brought her to today - driving in her car with a radio that would only play a station that seemed to be hell bent on making her cry, and the gut wrenching realization that she would never hear her dad call her kiddo again. So much for a boring, ordinary life.
A/N wow - ten reviews for a first chapter, that is so amazing. Thank you for all the wonderful words of encouragement. You totally inspired me and this chapter just wrote itself. Please let me know your thoughts/suggestions. Carys