A/N sorry it's been so long since an update - christmas vacation and no access to a computer. Hope everyone had a great holiday. Thanks SO much for all the encouraging reveiws. They really keep me going. Please let me know your thoughts/suggestions. - carys
After driving by Julie and Caleb's house, Marissa realized she wasn't up to facing her mother just yet. Instead, she turned the car around and went to her dad's apartment. Caitlyn was surprised to see her but happy nonetheless.
"I thought you were going to Mom's first?" Caitlyn asked as she helped Marissa with her bags.
"Was not up to seeing her just yet."
"You are missing quite the show. She is playing the grieving widow you know." Caitlyn explained.
"Great. How are you holding up Caty?" Marissa asked, flopping down on the couch.
"It doesn't feel real yet. You?"
"Same. It just seems like he's on another of his boat trips and any moment he's going to walk through the door with that big dorky grin of his and say "Hey kiddo, what's up?" It's just too much for me to comprehend right now." Marissa admitted.
"Did mom tell you they are having the reading of the will on Monday?" Caitlyn replied.
"I think she mentioned it. Who's all going to be there?"
"I don't know…I guess who's ever mentioned in the will, so probably you, me and mom. I hope she doesn't break down in hysterics tomorrow. I don't think I can stand it if she does."
"Don't worry, we'll sit together and ignore her the best we can." Marissa reassured her. "So, do you think there'll be a lot of people there tomorrow?"
"I assume so. Dad lived here all his life. Aren't you really asking if Seth, Summer and Ryan will be there?" Caitlyn got straight to the point.
"Since when did you become so direct?" Marissa tried to divert attention.
"Since forever. And to answer your question, yes, they'll all be there."
"Thought so." Marissa said softly.
Marissa hadn't seen Summer, Seth or Ryan since the party the night before she went to rehab. Well, that wasn't entirely true – she had seen them, they just hadn't seen her. Two years ago she had gotten an invitation to Summer and Seth's wedding. It had been sent via her mother, who gave it to Caitlyn. Marissa had sent a card early to apologize for not being there in person, but she hadn't put her return address on it. The day of the wedding though, she found herself driving down to Newport. She snuck into the back of the church once the ceremony had started and left shortly before it ended. No one knew she had been there. Seeing them all so happy had made her a little nostalgic. Ryan looked amazing in his tux standing next to Seth, who had looked appropriately nervous. Summer was radiant and the ceremony was beautiful. The nostalgia was shortly replaced by an ache in her heart. It still hurt not to talk to them – especially Ryan. For so long he had been the only person she could really talk to. And there was a time when she believed that they would be together forever. She had never loved anyone like she loved him – not before or since.
"It will be fine Marissa. Don't worry about it." Caitlyn interrupted her trip down memory lane.
"I know."
"Do they still think you were in Switzerland?" Caitlyn asked.
"I guess they probably do. Somehow I doubt Mom was announcing to the Newport elite that her eldest was in rehab." Marissa replied sarcastically.
The official story that had been passed around Newport was that Marissa was enrolled in an exchange program with a school in Switzerland. So while all her friends were enjoying their first year of college, they thought she was doing the same in Switzerland. Julie Cooper-Nichol could never have stood the social stigma of having a daughter in rehab. It had been Julie's idea not to tell anyone where Marissa had actually been. Marissa didn't find out about Julie's creative story until her first family day three months into the program. By then there was no point and no way for Marissa to set the record straight. According to Julie and her dad, Summer, Seth and Ryan were all happily enrolled in the schools of their choice, Berkley for Summer and Seth, Cal Poly for Ryan. From all the stories she heard, they had moved on with their lives and didn't even ask about her anymore. It didn't stop Marissa from thinking of them, Ryan especially, but she kept her head down and concentrated on her recovery.
"Mom at her finest. So how long are you staying?" Caitlyn asked.
"Two weeks. I thought maybe after the will reading on Monday I could help you get set up here." Marissa offered.
Jimmy Cooper had had full custody of Caitlyn since she was fifteen. Turns out that Julie's lack of parenting skills included Caitlyn too. It hadn't taken Caitlyn long after she came home from boarding school when she was fourteen to realize that she didn't want to live with her mother either. Julie put up a fuss but in the end agreed to let Jimmy have custody. Marissa secretly suspected that Caleb had a hand in convincing Julie it was the right thing to do. There was no doubting that Caleb Nichol was a first class ass when he wanted to be but he also understood about fathers and daughters.
"What is there to do?" Caitlyn asked.
"Well, we need to get the title of the apartment changed over to you and all the bills should be in your name. Just paperwork stuff." Marissa explained.
"I already take care of all the bills and the taxes. You know how Dad is - happier on his boat than dealing with paper." Caitlyn realized her slip of the tongue and her eyes welled up.
"It's OK kiddo." Marissa put her arm around Caitlyn. "We are going to get through this. You and me, we're our family now and we'll take care of each other."
"It's just…."
"I know." Marissa said.
"He was supposed to bounce our children on his knee, walk us down the aisle…"
"I know." Marissa repeated.
"How can you be so…calm?" Caitlyn asked.
"I'm not. I cried almost all the way here. It still doesn't feel real to me. Maybe tomorrow it will finally sink in…I don't know. What I do know is that for now, it's me and you. Why don't we make some hot chocolate and then go to bed." Marissa suggested.
"Shouldn't we go by mom's?" Caitlyn asked.
"You make the hot chocolate, I'll phone and make our excuses. I'll promise her we'll come by there tomorrow before the funeral. That should make her happy." Marissa replied.
"You got yourself a deal." Caitlyn said, wiping the tears from her cheeks. Before she walked into the kitchen she turned back. "Thanks Riss."
"For what?" Marissa asked.
"Everything." Caitlyn said.
The girls went through photo albums together that night over hot chocolate. They were mostly pictures from the last ten years, Julie had kept their childhood albums as part of the divorce. The sisters laughed and cried over their hot chocolate, remembering fun times and sad times together.
When Marissa finally went to bed, she couldn't fall asleep. She lay awake thinking about her dad. She was old enough now to see her father through adult eyes. He had made mistakes, he wasn't perfect, but he was and would always be the standard that all other men in her life would have to live up to. The one thing that defined Jimmy Cooper was his desire to protect those he loved. Marissa knew that she wasn't anything like her mother, but she liked to think that somewhere, deep down, she had inheirited that trait from her dad. It wasn't just self preservation that had sent her to rehab, she also did it so that she could stop hurting the people that cared about her. She wanted to get better not just for herself but for them too. Marissa knew without a shadow of a doubt, that she would protect Caitlyn for the rest of her life, just like her dad would have wanted her too. For Jimmy, there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for those he cared about, and that night it occurred to her that Ryan was the same. Maybe that was what had drawn Marissa too him all those year ago. Tomorrow was going to be a big day for her…she would have to say goodbye to the most important man in her life, and hello to the one she had believed for the better part of her life, would replace him.