...
"Yo, Teme!"
Sasuke looked up from his designated task with a scowl. They were setting up for a Team 7 party at Kakashi's apartment and his job was filling cups with ice. "What do you want, Naruto?"
"Get over here, we have some man things to talk about before the girls arrive!" Sakura, Ino, and Hinata were at his and Sakura's apartment, supposedly getting ready. He has been reluctant to leave, but both Ino and Hinata had shooed him out the door, Hinata insisting that the other boys could use his help cleaning and setting out the food.
Sasuke stayed where he was and eyed the two other ninjas sitting in the living room. They both were trying and failing to act nonchalant. Sai's smile was even more fake than usual and Kakashi's gleaming eyes betrayed his laid back posture. "I see. They kicked me out of my apartment to be interrogated."
"If it helps, I had no part in the plan," Sai offered brightly.
"It doesn't."
"Didn't think it would!"
Sasuke closed his eyes, pressing his fingertips to the bridge of his nose. "Why can't you all leave us alone?"
"Because we're your friends, bastard!" Naruto gripped the couch. "And we're Sakura's friends too. We want to hear about her happiness and make sure that the guy she's been in love with for forever is being nice to her!"
Sasuke glared over his hand. "Of course I'm being nice to her."
Kakashi intervened. "What Naruto is trying and failing to say is that we care about both of you and want to make sure you know you can talk to us about it." Kakashi paused, his eyes thoughtful. "You have been more closed off to us since your return, but more open to Sakura. Can you do both?"
"We're not going to make fun of you and we don't want you to be uncomfortable," Sai added quietly.
Sasuke kept his expression cooled for as long as he could, but eventually, he snapped. "Well, it is embarrassing. I'm embarrassed by all of the things I've done and what I've put her through." He breathed harshly through his nose. "So, it's hard to talk about. Especially with people who know how to have a functioning relationship." His final words were bitter.
Sai laughed his strange laugh. "I don't think that's true. I have less of an understanding of emotions than any of you. Ino teaches me everything."
"I never saw what a mother and father acted like," Naruto added quietly, though not in pain.
"Or, was around adults who were in love,"
Sasuke paused. Naruto's words sank within him. It was a gentle reminder. Sasuke had known his parents. Naruto hadn't. It made their pain different, but not in a way where one was in more pain than the other. There was pain in living in love and losing it, but there was also pain in never getting to experience it, either.
Sasuke eventually walked over to the living room and sat down on a chair. He stared at the floor, realizing that once again, he had been too caught up in his own perspective. His feelings were his own, but they were not unique. Pain, shame, guilt, all of them had been felt by the other men around him. It made him feel less alone for the first time outside of Sakura's presence since returning.
"I chose to turn it off," Sasuke admitted quietly. "She told me over and over again that she loved me. Each time, I had to work to keep it off, to keep from straying from my goals of revenge."
Naruto's expression didn't change. "She knows that. She knows you a lot better than you think she does."
Sasuke tsked. "Oh, I know it." It had gotten less surprising each time she did it, but her mind reading skills had gotten to be very good.
"Are you still sleeping on the couch? Naruto told me that you should be sleeping in her bed if you're together." Sai frowned. "What? Is that wrong?"
Sasuke couldn't decide what he wanted to do first. Kill Naruto for being a nosy moron, kill Sai for putting an image of climbing into bed with Sakura in his mind, or kill Kakashi for telling Naruto they were officially together.
Sasuke continued to glare. He felt hot under his clothes and wanted to go for a walk, be outside, be anywhere but where he was at. He glanced at the clock and knew he wouldn't be back before Sakura got there. He closed his eyes and resigned himself to his fate. "I just don't see why everyone is making a big deal about it."
"We wouldn't if you would offer up even the smallest bit of information," Naruto snapped. He calmed down when Kakashi gave him a look. "Sasuke, it's like Sai said. We aren't making fun of you. We just want to talk to you."
Sasuke let his head fall back. He clutched at the bridge of his nose again and with irritation grating his nerves, he bit out, "I get that."
"How about we each get a question," Sai suggested. Everyone looked at him like he suggested they go running through the streets drunk. He blinked. "One question each gives us a chance to satiate our curiosity but shouldn't overwhelm Traitor-kun."
Sasuke blinked. "I…what did you just call me?" He wasn't mad. He was…shocked? Amused?
Naruto whooped. "That's actually a great idea! Sasuke, you up for three questions or what?"
Sasuke eventually sighed. "As long as they're not ridiculous or obviously inappropriate."
"Okay, me first, me first!" Naruto screwed his eyes together and thought hard about his question for a minute or two, Sasuke staring at him, unamused. "Okay, I got it! What's your favorite thing about Sakura?"
Sasuke's eyebrows furrowed. "I have no idea how to answer that."
Naruto groaned. "Oh come on, yes you! What's something she does that makes you stop and appreciate her?"
Sasuke opened his mouth to explain how stupid he sounded, but an example popped up in his mind instead. He closed his mouth to digest his answer for a moment before speaking. "When we read together at night. She…looks peaceful. Happy. I…enjoy it, watching her relax after a long day. She works too hard."
Naruto beamed. "See! That wasn't so hard!"
"I have one." Kakashi leaned forward on his elbows. "What's your favorite thing that she cooks?"
"Tomato soup." The answer was instantaneous. Kakashi and Naruto grinned.
Everyone looked at Sai expectedly, but he patiently sorted through his thoughts before asking, as if he were asking about the weather, "Do you love her?"
Naruto and Kakashi jumped down Sai's throat, telling him that wasn't a question he could ask, that it was probably going to piss Sasuke off. Sasuke didn't know if it was their ability to switch from being nosy to protective or his inability to say it out loud to the person it really mattered to, but he felt like answering.
They were so busy looking at Sai that they almost missed Sasuke's quiet, muttered response. "Yes."
They froze. Sai looked happy with Sasuke's response, Naruto looked shocked beyond belief that he had answered, and Kakashi looked about as smug as he had ever seen him.
This was what the girls walked into.
…
Sakura's POV
….
Sakura was having a wonderful evening. The food Kakashi had ordered was spectacular, his apartment was actually clean for once, and all of the people she loved the most were gathered under one roof, not a raised voice or fist in sight.
She smiled to herself over her glass of sake and basked in the joy of the evening. The boys had looked like they were talking about something ridiculous if the expressions on their faces were any indication. They had all jumped up and greeted them, opening bottles, and starting to unwrap the foil from the takeout.
Except Sasuke. He stood in the living room and waited for Sakura to come to him. She had smiled at him, tucking her hair behind her ear before popping to a stop before him. She had been a bit nervous since her outfit was different than normal. It was the same cut and style as her other dresses except a tad shorter and with a higher collar. It was a bit snugger around her hips, but Ino's keen eye had bought it for its color; deep, navy blue with red buttons and stitching.
Sasuke's eyes had darted up and down quickly before muttering, "I like that color on you."
Which, of course, turned her cheeks strawberry.
Glancing around the table, Sakura felt more at peace than she had in years. When she met Naruto's eyes across the table, she knew he felt the same. The weight of Team 7 falling apart had been a heavy burden for them both and, in their success, they found a mutual understanding. We did it. We did it.
Sakura looked to her left when she felt the bump of Sasuke's knee against hers. She looked up and whispered, as not to disrupt Kakashi's riveting tale of once again, racing Gui Sensei through Konoha. "Yes?"
He nodded to her plate. "You didn't eat your carrots. I've noticed. You don't like them?"
Sakura blinked through her grin. She loved when Sasuke confirmed his thoughts with her. It was her new favorite game. Sometimes, if she was bold, she'd try to confirm what she thought as well. "I-yes, Sasuke-kun. I'm not the biggest fan of cooked carrots."
He nodded once more before leaning back in his seat, his attention back on the conversation. Sakura warmed, his knee still firmly pressed against her own.
Dinner ended and the rowdy ninjas made their way to the living room. More sake bottles were opened and eventually, the boys started a drinking game with dice. Sasuke declined, but was forced to sit at the table, anyway.
Sakura found herself on the balcony with her two best friends, reminiscing about the evening's food, conversation, and attendees.
"Seriously Sakura, I've never seen Sasuke like this before."
Sakura chuckled, leaning back against the railing, her elbows falling back. "I know what you mean. It surprises me everyday." Her smile turned a bit secretive. "I told him that, you know? That every time he does something to show me a bit more of himself, I think to myself that it can't get any better than this. That I can't be any happier."
Hinata and Ino both sighed. They had been filled in by Sakura from the start. She had been having weekly teas with them since Sasuke had returned. After the third time getting kidnapped by Ino, Sakura had started to show up willingly. In all honesty, it had been so helpful to her. She didn't realize how desperate she was to talk about her blossoming relationship with Sasuke, especially since it was her first and hopefully only relationship.
Ino had offered her way too much advice on seducing Sasuke and Hinata had helped her remember to still be patient, even when it was hard. Ino would argue and say that Sasuke had two years to think and needed to act and Hinata had reasoned that he probably didn't know what to do. They balanced each other out after a few afternoons until Sakura had been able to join in on the conversation.
"So he's really still sleeping in the living room?"
Sakura winced. "Aw, come on, I already feel bad enough!"
Ino just rolled her eyes. "So invite him to your bedroom, forehead. It's not hard. Oh, turn those green lanterns on someone else. If it makes you feel better, ask him in baggy, gross clothes so he knows you aren't trying to jump his bones."
Sakura groaned this time. "Ino, we literally barely kiss. There's no need to jump to that conclusion. He'd know I wasn't asking for…that."
It was Hinata, surprisingly, who giggled and responded. "You really don't need to be that afraid of it. If you trust and love each other, it doesn't matter. You can figure it out together."
Sakura smiled at her friend, so happy for her that she had found that in Naruto. "You're right. Sasuke probably hasn't even-"
"Ah!" Ino interrupted with a wagging finger. "We talked about this. What did we talk about, forehead?"
Sakura sighed and let her head fall back, replying in monotone. "Sasuke is a man. Even emotionally traumatized men still think about sex."
"Precisely. And hey, if Hinata is right, so am I!"
Sakura raised an eyebrow at her friend. "What are you wanting to be right about, exactly?"
"That he should sleep in your bed! Duh!"
"Shh! Keep your voice down, pig!" Sakura glared. "I would have no idea how to ask, it really doesn't make sense for him to sleep in there with me since I'd be a nervous mess the entire time, and my bed head is horrible!"
Ino just smirked. "You don't ask, you present him with an offer he can't refuse. It makes sense because you are together and can enjoy the cuddling that comes with the title. You can be nervous because he'll probably be nervous too, so calm each other down with the previous step." She paused and her smirk turned to a sinister smile. "And I bet after following my instructions, your post sex hair will probably be his new favorite style."
Hinata scolded her while Sakura grumbled, turning her back to face the city, "You're the worst, Ino-pig."
The door to the balcony suddenly opened and they all turned to look. Sasuke had a hand on the sliding door and looked like he was about one minute from killing the drunk idiots inside.
"We'll go inside," Ino rushed, snatching Hinata's arm and tugging her inside faster than Sakura could blink.
Sakura, still looking over her shoulder, suppressed an amused smile at Sasuke's irritation. "Want to join me?"
He nodded, huffing a breath and sliding the door shut behind him. Sakura turned back to face the twinkling lights of the village, no longer warm in the golden setting sun. Night had fallen and a full moon bathed the village in white light. It was beautiful.
It was a night that reminded Sakura of the dark peace she saw in Sasuke. It was different from the pain and hate he had fallen into. It was not darkness meant to frighten or that of assassins or death. She stared up at him, having moved to stand next to her, and decided this new darkness he exuded was that of a soft blanket on a cold night. One that was restful and soothing, like drifting to sleep in the arms of the one you loved.
Sasuke looked down at her. She stared, unafraid in her daydreams of Sasuke wrapped around her, enjoying her warmth in a dark bedroom. She reached a hand up to his cheek and smiled, her eyes filled with love and affection. "I had so much fun tonight. I hope you did too."
Sasuke's eyes softened. "Ah. I did."
She grinned, letting her hand fall. Sasuke caught it and held it between them. Sakura's jaw dropped into her smile, but she held it. "Good…I'm glad."
He smiled like he knew she was flustered. Sakura felt her nose scrunch up and she bit her lip, turning to face forward. She sighed at the view, at her life, at her ability to hold the hand of the man she loved, and closed her eyes. She was memorizing how she felt so she would never, ever forget it.
"What are you thinking?"
Sakura didn't open her eyes. Her smile wobbled. "I'm thinking I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have so many people I love, gathered together."
She felt him move closer to her. "You worked hard for this."
She tilted her head back to look at him. He was happy for her, but he was sad. She knew there was guilt mixed in. She squeezed the hand she held. "I'd do it all again if I had to. Whatever it took."
Sasuke closed his eyes. He nodded, his mouth set in a firm line. They sat in silence for a while before either of them spoke.
"I talked to them before you got here. About you."
"Oh?" Sakura's curiosity got the best of her. "What about?"
"They wanted to know if I was being nice." He bit the last word out like it was ugly or taboo. Sakura couldn't help but laugh. Sasuke gave her an unamused look. "I assured them I had no plans of hurting you."
Sakura felt giddy. She tried to tamper it down, but knew Sasuke could see right through it. She couldn't stop bouncing on her feet. She loved that Sasuke talked about her. "What else did they ask?"
Sasuke sighed, but there was no malice. It was almost like he was…entertaining her. "Naruto made me tell him my favorite thing about you. It's your expression when you read. Kakashi asked what my favorite dish of yours was. That's your tomato soup." He grew very quiet and eventually said, "Sai asked me if I loved you."
Sakura felt her world slip out from underneath her. Her cheeks flamed. That was…a lot of information. "Oh."
It was a tense silence. They both knew, but he hadn't said it. Not outright. And Sakura didn't need it, she truly didn't, but she wondered if he could say it to someone else easier than he could say it to her.
A comfortable silence rose up after a while, both of them having sorted through their thoughts. Sakura had ended up leaning into Sasuke, her arm wound around his. The party raged behind them, but they were locked in their own world, wishing to be nowhere else but where they were.
Sakura's eyes had closed by the time Sasuke spoke.
"The moon is beautiful."
The words were so quiet yet so intentional. Sakura's head snapped up to meet the very warm, very happy Sasuke, staring down at her with a depth of emotion she hadn't seen before.
Love. It was unrestrained, unbound, and raging through black and purple. Mismatched eyes, all that she adored. Sakura felt like she was floating in an ocean of sparkling wine, her soul a cup overflowing.
Sakura floated in happiness for the rest of the night.
…
It was two in the morning when Sakura blinked awake. A crash had sounded in the kitchen. Sakura was armed to the teeth and halfway out of bed before she remembered that Sasuke was probably just getting a drink of water. However, when she heard the second shattered glass, she was down the hall and in the kitchen in a second.
Sasuke's back was to her, his single hand gripping the counter. His gray shirt was black from sweat and his whole body trembled ever so slightly. Two shattered glasses sat next to each other on the counter and water dripped off of the surface in a steady flow to the floor.
Sakura saw him tense and she knew he had realized she was awake. He didn't say anything. He just stood there, tense against the counter.
Sakura took a slow step forward. When he didn't move or object. She took another. She tentatively lowered herself to the floor and began to pick up the glass pieces. Sasuke didn't move the entire time she gathered them in a cloth, nor when she grabbed another to mop up the water. It was only when she reached across him to grab the two bottom halves of the glasses that he moved.
His fingers wrapped around her wrist. "Don't."
Sakura didn't move a muscle. She waited for him to let go, but he didn't. "Sasuke, it's okay. Let me clean up."
"I can do the rest." He let go and gathered the broken glasses and threw them in the trash before taking a few paper towels to wipe the wet counter.
Sakura tried to ascertain what happened based on his mannerisms. His eyes didn't hold emotion. They moved, like he was reliving something. She continued watching him slowly finish cleaning, keeping her hands to herself, wondering what on earth she was supposed to do.
Once he was done, Sasuke turned to her, but his head hung low. "I'm sorry I woke you." His voice was barely a whisper. It was hoarse. "Bad dream."
Sakura nodded, her expression cracking. She didn't know what to do. Did she hug him? Did she tuck him in? Did she ask what the dream was about? She settled somewhere in the middle. "Do you think you'll be able to go back to sleep?"
Sasuke shook his head.
Sakura's hands fidgeted in front of her. She eventually caved. "Do…do you want to talk about it?"
A shrug.
Sakura stopped. A shrug? She had never gotten that response before. Did it mean it was her choice? Warily, she asked, "Did it involve…your family?"
He shook his head. He grimaced suddenly, like he was in pain. "It was about you."
Sakura felt her heart break for him. She knew how he felt all too well. She had dreamed too many times of Sasuke leaving her, over and over again. She had dreamed of what he had done to her, but only worse. She had laid awake too many nights, plagued by her worst thoughts of the Uchiha. She could only wonder in horror what dreams his battered psyche had come up with.
"What about…me?" Sakura took a step closer but didn't touch him.
Sasuke's breath was a rattle. His words were like tiny knives. "There was no one to stop me under the bridge."
Sakura's eyelids fluttered shut. Oh. Oh, Kami.
Needing to help him in the only way she could think of at the moment, Sakura tentatively grasped his hand. As soon as their skin touched, he flipped his hand, snatching hers from the air. She gasped, but pressed on. Bringing his hand up to her throat, she let his fingers rest where her pulse was its strongest.
His head jolted up, his eyes on hers.
"I'm alive, Sasuke-kun," she whispered. She pressed his hand into her skin. Sasuke's eyes were wide, his rinnegan visible from her spot beneath him. She smiled, hoping he understood her intentions. "See? My heart is pumping. I'm alive, and whole, and safe, and-"
Sasuke tugged her closer, slowly crumbling into her. He kept his hand at her neck and squeezed, his thumb tracing her pulse up and down, up and down. Sakura held him as tight as she could without hurting him, hoping that he could feel her racing heartbeat against his chest. He let out a small gasp and his hand fell to her back, pushing her even closer.
"I'm so sorry for that day," he whispered, his breath hot against the curve of her shoulder.
Sakura shook her head and squeezed him tighter. "I forgave you. I forgave myself. You now have to forgive yourself."
He didn't respond, but she knew he would think about her words. So they held each other, Sasuke reassuring himself that she was alive and Sakura, desperate for him to calm down.
Sasuke pulled away and wiped at his eyes. He swallowed thickly before speaking, his voice low, "Can you stay in the living room tonight?" Sakura's heart broke into a few more shattered pieces. Sasuke couldn't look at her when he said, "I'll sit on the chair and you can have the couch."
Make him an offer he can't refuse.
Ino's words gave Sakura the bit of courage she needed. She gently grasped his hand and tugged, pulling him out of the kitchen. "I'm not letting you sleep on the chair, Sasuke-kun." Sakura swallowed her nervousness and quickly spit out, "You can sleep in my room."
Sasuke stopped in his tracks. He definitely wasn't looking at Sakura now. "No, go back to bed, I'll be fine."
Sakura grimaced and tugged. "No, you won't." She quickly averted her gaze and admitted a slight fear. "It's okay if it makes you too uncomfortable. But…all I'm offering is space to sleep." She looked up at him through her bangs, cringing slightly. "It'll be just like when we went camping as genin!"
To her surprise, Sasuke let out a small huff of amusement. She watched Sasuke battle himself for a while longer before his posture relaxed, letting Sakura lead him the rest of the short walk down the hallway and into her bedroom.
The lights were off, but the moon was shining through her curtains, casting her bed in dark and light. Sakura could barely breathe as she led him to the foot of the bed and climbed in, pulling him onto the mattress after her. It was a bit awkward since they didn't let go of the other's hand, but they managed to lie down. They were stretched out side by side, Sakura on her right, Sasuke on his left, and their intertwined hands on the blankets between them.
Sakura tucked her other hand under her head and closed her eyes, letting Sasuke deal with his emotions in private. He held her hand tighter.
Sakura fell asleep to the feeling of Sasuke's thumb brushing the back of her hand.