Buffy nodded, "Okay… so what are you trying to tell me? I'm broke?"

"Not yet, but money is definitely an issue." Willow told the Slayer.

"But I haven't spent any money." Buffy commented, "I was dead."

"Your mom prepared everything very well." Tara stated, "Sh-she had insurance… life insurance."

Buffy looks down at her hands, a picture of her mother in her head, wearing a white dress, glowing. She felt tears burn her eyes as her mother smiled back at her. How could they do this to her? She was so… happy. "S-so…"

"Pretty much sucked up all the hospital bills." Willow explained.

"The house doesn't do anything, just sits here. And by itself costs money." Anya explained, "So you need money for that."

Xander looked out the window and noticed Spike walking up the driveway. He opened the door and walked into the livingroom giving Buffy a reassuring smiled and Dawn walked over to him. She smiled up at him. "Hey, you missed it." She said, "We watched Elf."

"That's okay, bit." Spike assured her with a smirk.

"Easy." Buffy spoke up, "We burn the house down. We get the insurance on the house." She said with a weak smiled receiving worried looks from the people around her. Except for Spike who chuckled a little. "Geez, don't let the dead girl joke."

Spike's chuckles stopped when she joked about her death and she knew she'd gone to far. "So… what do I do about money?"

"We're thinking you can… get a job." Willow suggested.

Buffy looked down to the floor, feeling her body shake with… anger? She looked back up. Her Eyes clear. Her happy shell now showing. Everyone missing the anger, fear, loneliness.

Or she thought everyone. Spike watched her, his head tilted to the side. He could tell the girl had been through too much to even think about a job right now. "I could pick up the pluming bill." Spike said out loud trying to help in anyway he could.

Buffy's eyes shot to Spike's as he offered the little money he had to help her. "Y-yeah." Buffy smiled lightly at him, "That would be great."

She looked around the room, waiting. Waiting for someone else to offer to help her. But no one did. The people who tore her away from her paradise sat back and watched her suffer. "I have money from dad." Dawn pitched in proudly next to Spike.

Later

Buffy buried her face in her hands, her hair falling in front of her face. She leaned on the kitchen table really feeling like she couldn't hold herself up any longer. Then the voice floated threw her and she picked her head up and gripped the table, she turned, "Hey, pet."

He was leaning against the doorframe, his hands tucked in his pockets, head tilted slightly to the side watching her every movement, hair slicked back.

"Hey." Buffy said softly, her head spinning.

"You alright?" He asked walked toward her switching his weight, foot to foot.

Buffy nodded, "Yeah… sure."

"You know I'd have the same dream every night after you died?" Spike asked sitting beside her, "Only it always ended with you living." He looked at her healed hands and smiled softly. "Up in the tower somehow I wouldn't have failed. I would have done what I promised… would have protected Dawn…"

Buffy looked at him, eyes on his.

"I'd see it all again… do somethin' different… faster… more clever… dozens of times. Lots of different ways." He looked up, watching the pain and confusion play on her pale face, "Every night I save you." He whispered.

"It wasn't your fault." She told him, "What happened."

"If I—"

"Spike, I did what I had to." She told him, "I'd do it all again."

"Hopefully you wont have too."

"You didn't fail." Buffy said, "You did what you promised, you protected Dawn. Even after… you stayed." She looked at him, soft smile on her lips, "Cause we all know that the Master vampire Spike could have gotten that chip out of his head if he really want to by now."

"You think I don't want to?"

"No." Buffy answered, "I think you… I think you want us to keep you. You think the only way we will is if you have that chip in your head."

"Am I wrong?"

Buffy smiled, "For some of us."

"This is different." Spike commented.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"You're talkin' to me like…"

"Like we're friends?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe we are."

Spike nodded, "That mean you wont be kicking me in the head any time soon?" Spike asked tilting his head to the side.

Buffy smiled, "Not unless it's needed. You do do some stupid things. Might need a reminder who's stronger."

"You still think you're stronger?"

"Come on!" Buffy exclaimed, "All that rest! I could take out anything."

"I miss fightin' you."

Buffy looked at him, confused.

"Come on, you can't say that fightin' me wasn't some of the best fun you've ever had." Spike told her, "Might be half the reason I kept you around." He told her with a smirk, "You know, besides the fact I'm in love with you."

The laughter and jokes stopped when he said it. He was afraid he took it to far, she was just afraid.

"Sorry." Spike murmured and stood up, he was about to leave when he felt Buffy's hand on his shoulder.

He turned, "You-you don't have to… go." She whispered. "P-please… don't go."

He saw the tears in her eyes and shook his head, the slayer was breaking. No, she was broken. "Shh, pet, I'm not goin' anywhere." He promised. Before he knew what happened he was holding a crying Buffy on the kitchen floor as she held onto his shoulders and cried. "Shh, baby, it's okay."

Buffy knew she was shaking, she knew she was crying into a vampire's embrace, she knew that she shouldn't open up to another vampire, she knew she should be strong, she knew she shouldn't show any weakness, but… she didn't care.

"Everything's so screwed up." Buffy whispered in a muffled voice.

Spike kissed the top of her head, "Tell me."

Buffy looked up at him, her green eyes again, welling up with tears. "I-I… I'm tired."

Spike nodded, "Alright, you can go upstairs—"

"I don't want to sleep here."

"Where do you want to sleep?" He asked.

"N-never mind." She stuttered. "Goodnight." She whispered before slipping out of his embrace and walking toward the stairs, before she got to the door she stopped. Turned and walked back to him kissed him lightly on the cheek and then ran out.

"Goodnight." He whispered back as he walked out of the house.

TBC…

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