Chapter Nine

Stir Crazy

I've been trapped in this house for over three days and not once have I left the inside of Angel's apartment. To top it all off, he won't even speak to me. He acts as if I'm some sort of wall hanging, just occasionally giving me a glance or two but nothing more.

Every night he goes out on patrol for hours on end, locking the door behind him so I can't leave. When he comes back home he always looks tired and beaten and yet like clockwork he leaves the house to go fight the good fight every damn day. I never could really understand the patience of that man.

It was after he came home today from one of his patrols that I finally had to break the silence. Before now I, as he also did, had been making no effort what so ever to talk to him. Being stir crazy though makes you do things that you don't necessarily want to.

"So, how was patrol? Kill any vamps?" He stopped for a second as if he was shocked at the sound of another's voice in the room. But other then that he gave no recognition that I even existed, just walking on and cleaning his favorite broadsword.

"That's good. My day was interesting too." I said once again. "Do you want to hear about it?" When he didn't answer I continued anyways. "I read a little bit. That was fun. Did you know that the Skeetect demon can re grow any part of there body given enough time?" Still no answer. "I found that interesting too."

God I was a fool. I was asking questions and then answering them right back as if he had spoken. Still, after three days of silence, it was better then nothing. "I saw a mouse today. Well, at least I thought it was a mouse. It was really just a dust bunny in the corner. What does that mean anyways? Dust Bunny. I wonder who thought of that. Did some guy just look at a rabbit one day and say 'Whoa, that bunny is filled with dust'" Okay, now I've just graduated from fool to idiot. "Probably not huh?"

He walked over to his weapons cabinet and put the sword back in its designated spot. "So... what did you do today? Besides killing things that is." Walking over to the closet he hung up his leather jacket, still ignoring me.

"Okay fine!" I yelled throwing my hands up in the air. "I'll stop talking. I just thought that we could maybe engage in a polite conversation, you know, like we used to."

"We never used to do anything."

"He speaks." I muttered. "So, you still don't believe I'm me huh? Well that'll certainly help dull away the long hours."

"Do you like the sound of your own voice or is it some sort of complex you have?"

"Sorry for wanting to engage you in a human activity."

"That's just the thing, I'm not human." He said bitterly, still refusing to look in even my general direction.

"No you're not. But it shouldn't stop you from acting like one."

"So you're saying that just because I'm an animal doesn't mean I have to act like one?"

"Yes." I cringed. "I mean no."

"Too late."

"Angel, I didn't mean it that way and you know it!"

"Don't call me that." He said quietly.

"Why not? I always call you Angel. That's your name." Frustration was starting to get the better of me.

He got up and stormed to the other side of the room busying himself with his books. "I know that's my name, it's just the way you said it."

I looked at him confused. "I'm saying it how I always say it."

"No, you're saying it like how she used to say it."

"Okay this is getting really confusing! You can use my name you know. Buffy. Say it with me now. Buf-fy." I glared at his back. How could he still deny that this was me? He'd been living and breathing... well not technically breathing... in the same room I had been for the past three days. And still he refuses to believe it.

Slamming a book down on the table he leaned against the wall taking deep calming breaths. I hated to see him like this, tortured and weary. I just couldn't figure out a way to make him believe who I was. Slowly I got up and walked over to him. Wrapping my arms around his waist he went completely rigid, maybe even stiffening more when I rested my head on his back.

"Please Angel. I know that I'm supposed to be strong; I'm the slayer, that's what I do. But everything's so different all of the sudden. I don't want to be strong anymore Angel. You have to believe me. I'm Buffy, your Buffy. Please just believe that. I need you to believe that." Tears were pricking my eyes. All I wanted was to take comfort in him, to have him hold me as I cried my pent up tears.

I thought that I had gotten through to him for a moment when his hands slid off the wall and rested on mine. But just as I was about to sigh my relief he slid my arms away from around himself and pushed me gently away, almost as if he didn't want to relinquish our contact. "If you ever touch me again, I'll kick you out to the streets." He gritted out slowly.

I looked at him in horror. I thought for sure I had gotten through to him, that everything would soon be okay. The anger in his eyes told me different though. All I had done was bring up memories of the girl he thought was lost to him. "Why don't you then? If you want me gone so badly, why don't you just through me out? I'd be out of your way and the two of us would be a hell of a lot happier then we are now!"

"Because my son is trusting me to keep you safe."

"That's another thing! Where the hell did this son of yours come from! That is one of the reasons why you left me right? Because we couldn't have little vampires? What, did Connor just appear?" I said stalking towards him with my finger out

He laughed. "Nice try." I starred at him blankly. "You're not getting any information out of me so you can go back to Leon and..."

"I'M NOT WORKING FOR LEON!" I exploded. Taking deep breaths I continued. "I don't even know why I'm here."

He stared at me for a moment as if he was searching for some sort of answer in my eyes. Opening his mouth he was about to say something, but quickly shut it walking over and grabbing his coat.

"Where are you going?"

"Out."

"You just came home."

"I can't do this right now."

"If not now then when?"

Pausing with his back to me he sighed. "You're not her." Then he walked out of the room leaving me starring at the white door.