Ok, sorry it took so long, but there's been a lot going on. Right here is the reason this chapter is rated R so brace yourself.

The second I got home from school I ran into my room, grabbed a pair of jeans, took off my skirt and put my jeans on. I felt a lot better knowing that I was out of that damn thing. I was going to be home alone because my brother and his girlfriend were going to the movies and my sister was over at a friend's house studying while my father spent the night at his mom's. I spent this time to lounge around on the couch and relax, watch some TV. And listen to music.

There was a knock at the door and I hopped up to answer it, it was Elroy, one of my brother's friends, I rolled my eyes, "dude, Chancey's not here, he's with Chantal at the movies." I said moodily.

"When's he gonna be back?"

I snorted and shrugged, "fuck if I know! I don't really care either, it's giving me a break!" I retorted.

"Well can I at least come in here and hang, to wait for him?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes and pulled the door open further so he could enter. Once he did I closed it and resumed my place on the couch. Elroy sat down on the loveseat, "you know, you'd be really pretty if your hair wasn't so tweaked out." He said quietly, "What's your natural hair color anyway?"

I took a drink from my can of soda, "blonde."

"Someone once told me a blonde is a redhead with the fire fucked out of her." He said smoothly.

I stared at him as though he were stupid, "you're blonde." I retorted he blushed. I stood up, switched off my music and went upstairs to go to my room.

Before I closed the door I felt someone grab a hold of my arm roughly. They whirled me around and there was Elroy. He pushed me lightly against a wall and his hands moved to my ass, he forced a bruising kiss on me. I pushed him away, "dude, what the fuck!" I shouted angrily. He grabbed a hold of my wrists and pinned them to the wall above me and kissed me again. I bucked against him trying to get him off of me but it didn't work. He pulled back and punched my in the face-hard.

He pried me from the doorway and pushed me into my room and onto my bed. "No," I whimpered weakly.

He was undoing his belt, "if you scream I'll kill you." He warned and held the belt against my throat, pressing down so I could barely breathe. I would be wearing high-necked shirts for a while. He began undoing his pants, letting them fall. I tried to crawl away but he pinned me to my bed, hit me again and began working at my pajama pants, struggling to get them down. I struggled, kicking my feet and thrashing around wildly.

Once he got my pants down he climbed on top of me, I smelled the whiskey on his breath and kissed me as he forced himself into me I turned my head away only to receive another blow to the side of the head. I whimpered and tears streamed down my face. A quick, sharp bolt of pain seized my body and paralyzed me. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen! He started thrusting violently; I felt as though I were being ripped in two, my entire body ached.

"Please stop." I sobbed, "I don't want to do this!"

He kept going, "you know you want it, so just shut up and go with it…just feel it." He hissed in my ear and kissed my neck. It hurt so badly. He applied more pressure on my wrists and I felt them bruising, he stopped for a moment to bind my wrists together so he could keep my thighs spread apart. "Just go with this, you're so tight!" he exclaimed as he pushed further.

Help me please! I thought viciously as pain ripped through my body. Someone please just come home! I begged silently. I'd found a way to separate myself from my body so it wasn't me that was experiencing it. "Oh God." He groaned.

I felt more tears slide down my cheeks and tried to twist my wrists out of his hands but it was no use. He smashed his lips on mine, forcing his tongue into my mouth. I wanted to bit down until it snapped off but I knew how strong he was and it wouldn't be difficult for him to kill me.

Finally, he stopped and got off of me. "So how was it?" he asked as he pulled up his pants.

I curled up into the fetal position and cried. Without another thought, he left me there. I heard him leave the house and that's when I ran for the shower. I stripped off the rest of my clothes, whimpering at every move I made. Blood was running down my leg from him being so violent and I turned on the shower.

The heat of the water was just hot enough to torture prisoners of war or sterilize medical instruments but I didn't care. My skin turned beat red as soon as the water hit my skin. I felt so dirty…so low. I was so ashamed of myself. I hadn't fought hard enough, I should have screamed, scratched, anything to get that fucker off of me. I was in pain and it hurt when I sit down.

I put soap on a washrag and started scrubbing at my skin until it peeled. I wanted him off of me and I could feel him squirming all over my body. I could taste his breath and feel him hovering over me and smell his cologne and the whiskey that he'd been drinking and I wanted it all off of me as soon as possible. Pain shot through my body every time I moved but I kept scrubbing at my body, desperate to rid myself of Elroy.

I punched my wall angrily, why hadn't I fought back or done something to stop him?! I was angry, embarrassed and afraid.

No one can know. I thought desperately. I'd decided to bury it deep down and keep it a secret, just live with it and grow out of it. As soon as I got out of the shower I put on my robe, and ran into my room to get clean clothes. I came back in the bathroom and got dressed painfully, sobs racking my body. I turned to the sink and grabbed my toothbrush; I loaded the bristles with toothpaste and began scrubbing at my teeth to get his taste out of my mouth. I scrubbed and scrubbed until my gums were bleeding and my tongue was raw.

After I felt clean enough to leave the house I picked up my clothes and grabbed a lighter and lighter fluid on the way out, I left through the backdoor, placing my clothes in our fire pit. I doused them with lighter fluid and made a trail, I bent down and flicked my lighter on, holding it down to the beginning of the trail, igniting it and sending flames shoot down the flammable path, setting my clothes on fire.

I went back into the house and picked up my bedding, which had a large spot that was covered in blood from where IT happened. I knew we had extra sheets in a cupboard so I burned my sheet also. I washed my blanket vigorously and threw it in the dryer. I tasted his breath again and ran to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I didn't stop until my gums ached and bled again.

"Jackson?" I yelped and turned around to see Jenna, "what's wrong honey?" she asked quietly.

I shrugged. "Nothing, just my breath smelled really bad so I came in to brush my teeth." I lied. I was such a good liar it scared me.

"Alright, you sure you're ok?"

"Yeah- I said I'm fine!" I snapped angrily, slamming my toothbrush onto the edge of the sink.

"Ok, Jesus, no need to bite my head off for caring!" she retorted. I glared at her and she glared at me, both of us shooting daggers through our eyes.

"What are you doing home anyway? I thought you were studying."

"McKenzie's boyfriend came over and things got a little X-rated so I left." She snapped, "Why do you care?"

"Because you're my sister." I snapped. She turned on her heel and stormed out of the bathroom.

I looked into the mirror I was pathetic, worthless. My fault. I thought sadly and the tears that were sneaking down my cheeks were laughing at me. My fault. It echoed through my head like it would echo through a cave. I took a shaky breath, "my fault." I muttered aloud.

I left to clean up my room; I needed to get the rest of the filth out of it. I needed to get the rest of the filth out of ME.