Scott was still fuming as he shoved his clothes into a holdall and gathered together the few things he might need for an unknown length of time. He had sensed someone approaching the open bedroom door but continued his angry packing and resisted the urge to just tell him to leave him be.
"Why are you so mad at him?"
Scott paused for a moment and closed his eyes. He dropped his bag onto his bed and forced a smile to his face as he turned. "Hey, squirt."
Alan let the nickname that bugged him so wash over him this once and smiled evenly at his brother.
"You heard that, huh?"
"Kinda hard not to." Alan agreed.
Scott saw the expectant look on his baby brother's face and knew he wasn't going to be able to escape without offering some explanation for his outburst a few minutes ago. He laughed softly and sat down heavily on the edge of his bed.
"It's been tough for everyone ..." Alan suggested after a moment. "We should be supporting each other, not ..." He shrugged and shoved his hands into his trouser pockets.
Scott considered this for a time and then smiled up at Alan. "God, squirt ... when did you suddenly grow up?"
Alan's smile faltered for a moment and he leaned against the doorframe. "About three days ago."
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They made the journey across the American mainland and over the Atlantic in silence. Scott had offered something of an apology before they had left that afternoon and they had both then settled into an uneasy agreement not to talk about it any further.
John rested his head back against the seat and closed his eyes. Jeff had insisted they take Thunderbird 1 in case an emergency arose and they were needed. It made sense and had relieved somewhat the notion that they were completely abandoning the place but John had regretted the idea the moment the retros fired and they had shot from the island. It wasn't his first trip in the powerful craft and he was used to the intense journey up to the station but the g-forces plagued his still unsettled stomach nonetheless. He tried to breathe evenly and focus on something other than the need to vomit.
They had been undecided where to go at first. John had felt disheartened at the thought of jetting off when there was work to be done and that was when their father had suggested the idea of helping with the continued investigation into the attack of the island. There was concern that there may be associates of the Hood still at large and Jeff was keen to assist the various government agencies around the globe to track them down.
"Thunderbird 1 to Lady P."
John opened his eyes as Scott's voice suddenly filled the cockpit and he peered out at the land that rushed by beneath them.
"Go ahead, Scott." Came the gentle reply.
"We're making our approach. Permission to land?"
"Certainly. Set her down at the far end of the lawn by the trees. Parker will meet you there to help conceal her."
"F.A.B." Scott agreed.
"See you in five." Penelope continued. "Oh, and Scott? Try not to scorch the grass."
Scott laughed and steered the craft into a slow descent over the countryside.
The gentle wind coming in over the low fields beyond the estate carried with it the musty scent of wet leaves. It had stopped raining about an hour ago and now the grey-tinted clouds shone with a thousand shades of sunset orange.
John sat at the top of the small stone staircase that lead down to the long lawn behind the main house and gazed out at the early evening sky. It was chilly out here in the damp air and he folded his arms closer against his chest.
He held his breath as he heard the door behind him open slowly and he waited for the footfalls on the terrace. The gentle tap of heeled shoes gave an instant clue as to who was coming outside and he sighed in relief.
John smiled in gratitude as the woollen blanket was gently draped around his shoulders and he looked down at the soft material. Pink. A dark, almost red pink that wasn't as garish as it perhaps could have been but pink nonetheless.
She descended part way down the staircase beside him and then also perched on the top step, shivering slightly as she looked out at the radiant sky. "Your father is very worried about you." Penelope offered quietly, her gaze fixed on the changing pattern of clouds.
John nodded slightly. He knew their cover story of simply wanting to visit her and help her investigation would not have lasted long. He had wondered if she would perhaps force Scott to tell her the truth but now he knew that she had simply called his father.
"Would it help to talk?" Penelope continued and slowly turned to look at him. "Or does that only make it harder?"
John smiled thinly. He hadn't really talked to anyone yet so he wasn't sure. He replied to her query with a shrug of his shoulders and glanced at her warily.
"Parker is a good listener." Penelope grinned suddenly.
John laughed and shook his head in amusement.
"Actually, I think my incessant rambling may simply bore him to tears which only gives the illusion of him being attentive to my observations."
"Oh, please!" John turned and smiled at her. "That man worships the ground you walk on!" He watched her blush slightly and then his smile faded as he saw something behind her gentle blue eyes. "Just like a father ..." He concluded for her softly.
Penelope watched the emotion that seemed to be trying to cross John's face and the warm smile on her lips faltered for a moment. "He thinks he failed you." She offered quietly.
"He failed me?" John gasped in wonder.
Penelope nodded, "He thinks he put too much pressure on you and failed to notice how much strain you were under."
John shook his head slowly. "No." He took a deep breath and let it out in a loud sigh. "No, this isn't his fault. Neither of us had any idea how I would cope in that situation ..." John turned to Penelope and the last remnants of his smile faded. "I guess Alan and have both proved ourselves ... only somewhat differently ..."
"Oh, John ..." Penelope reached out and placed her hand on the blanket where it covered his arm.
"He's gone up to help with the repairs." John continued after a moment. "My little brother has taken his first space flight ... and I wasn't there to help him." He shook his head slowly, "Not that he needs any help, it's just ... I wanted to be there ... to show him the station ... show him the stars ..."
Penelope listened quietly and watched as John seemed to suddenly be fighting back tears.
"But I just can't face it. I just - " he swallowed back the lump in his throat and closed his eyes.
Penelope took a deep breath and recalled what Jeff had told her of John's reaction to returning to the station. "Perhaps it will be different when the repairs are completed." She suggested carefully.
John slowly composed himself and forced a smile to his lips as he glanced back at her. "Yeah, maybe ..."
"It's either that or you simply try again," Penelope continued, "Maybe you reacted how you did because it was the first time going back. It might be easier next time."
John frowned as he looked into her concerned face and was suddenly worried about how much detail she knew of his freak out that morning.
"I don't know for sure," Penelope shrugged, "I'm only guessing as I've never been in your situation."
John nodded slowly and could taste the bitterness of the bile in his throat as the memory of the explosion came to his thoughts. "Suddenly realising that the home you have come to love is actually only a few sheets of metal between you and the nothing of space."
Penelope waited for him to continue but then watched in dismay as he again closed his eyes and a lone tear suddenly escaped down his cheek. She held her breath and, wanting desperately to comfort him somehow, carefully moved her hand up to stroke his hair, noting the way he leaned into her touch.
John could feel his composure beginning to crumble but suddenly it didn't matter. This woman was his father's best friend – perhaps more than that – and she was the closest thing to a mother he had right now. He was aware of her moving closer to him and he tensed slightly as she carefully slipped her arm around his shoulders. With a gentle pull she eased him nearer and the unspoken reassurance was soothing. He could feel further tears gathering as he sank against her and let his cheek rest against the soft cotton shoulder of her fitted jacket.
Penelope held him against her and could feel his gentle trembling. She frowned as she tried to think of something helpful to say but then decided that perhaps simply her closeness was enough right now.
They sat there together for what seemed an age. The sunset was beginning to fade into the approaching darkness and it was becoming gradually colder. Penelope adjusted her position slightly on the hard stone step and again let her hand wander up into John's soft hair. She smiled as he mumbled appreciatively at her touch. There was no intimacy in their embrace, yet she was aware of every slight movement of his body where it met hers and the agreeable scent of hint of aftershave on warm skin. Her heart was soon racing as she allowed herself to recall an evening much like this when she had offered his father comfort and it had led to so much more.
John took a deep breath and let the strain of the past few days settle in his mind. For a moment he was able to mull over the attack on the station without feeling the need to expel the contents of his stomach. He tried to piece together the details of that day and push aside the confusing glimpses of the nightmares he had since experienced. After a few minutes, he took a deep breath and slowly sat back up straight.
Penelope turned to watch John move away from her and saw the brief smile of gratitude that he offered her. She shrugged slightly, trying to convey her wish that she could somehow do more to help him but his demeanour had changed now and she sensed that he wanted to be rid of the melancholy that had settled over him. "Darling, you so need to do your roots." She offered merrily.
John laughed suddenly and reached up to pull at a lock of short fringe self-consciously. "I thought it might look more funky this way." He shrugged and then grinned sheepishly. "And I'm starting to worry if Alan's right and one day it'll all fall out."
Penelope chuckled and shook her head slowly. "It wouldn't, would it?"
"I don't know."
Penelope looked up at his hair and frowned slightly. "What is your natural colour?"
"Sort of a medium brown blond ... ish."
"I thought you'd be light, like Alan." Penelope nodded thoughtfully.
John shrugged slightly, "I guess ... but it's darker than that ... I let it grow out once and ..." He frowned suddenly and turned away from her.
"Why do you bleach it?"
"Because then I can look in the mirror and not see Mom." He replied matter-of-factly.
Penelope closed her eyes and swallowed back the lump that arose in her throat. Suddenly she was worried that perhaps Scott was right and the quieter, more withdrawn of the Tracy brothers was concealing far more serious troubles than those he was trying to deal with at the moment. "John ..." She began carefully, "I have a friend who's a therapist and - "
"What?!" John demanded gently.
Penelope saw the anger that flashed briefly in his tired eyes and she shrugged her shoulders. "Nothing ... it was only an idea." She then turned as she heard the door behind them open and she watched Parker quickly trying to judge whether it was okay to interrupt.
"Excuse me, m'lady." Parker shrugged an apology, "But I thought you would want to know that our boys have just captured a certain submarine just off the south coast."
Penelope sighed in relief and smiled merrily. "Oh, that's wonderful! Thank you, Parker."
The butler nodded slightly, "And I took the liberty of contacting Mr. Tracy with the good news."
"Thank you." Penelope acknowledged and glanced at John. "Could you please put the kettle on, Parker. We'll be in shortly." She watched the butler's slight bow and saw his hesitation as he glanced again at John and then headed back into the house.
John turned to Penelope and smiled warmly. "That's a relief." He agreed merrily.
"Good old secret service." Penelope chuckled, "Here's hoping they were given permission to use all necessary force."
John nodded and laughed slightly.
"It's getting cold out here." Penelope then observed with a shiver. "Let's go inside."
"I'll be there in a minute." John glanced up at the darkening sky and shrugged his shoulders.
"Ah ..." Penelope looked up and saw amid the clouds the first few faint spots of light beginning to appear above them. "I'll leave you to chat with your friends." She smiled and got to her feet.
"Penny?" John called after her quickly and looked up to see her turning back in interest.
Penelope saw his slight pause and smiled in understanding. "Don't mention it."
Laughter filtered through from the other end of the house and John followed the sound through the hall. He smiled as he wandered into the drawing room and saw his brother chatting animatedly on the telephone.
Penelope looked up from her magazine and smiled warmly at John. She could tell that he had been crying since she had left him but he was trying very hard to seem cheerful and she returned her attention to the article she had been reading.
"Okay!" Scott declared merrily and put down the phone. "Johnny baby, we are sorted!" He sighed loudly and stretched his arms above his head.
"We are?" John chuckled nervously.
"Yup!" Scott clapped his hands together and stood from the sofa. "I decided that what we need is a good night out and luckily Freddy and Max are free tonight."
"Freddy?" John confirmed with a frown.
Scott laughed and nodded eagerly. "Like I said – a good night out."
Penelope watched the concern that crossed John's face and she frowned in intrigue. "Who's Freddy?"
"Captain Freddy Forrester. Her Majesty's Royal Air Force." Scott replied in a rough attempt to imitate Penelope's accent.
Penelope raised one eyebrow inquisitively. "Indeed?"
Scott nodded eagerly, "He's a friend from the space program." He saw the doubt in John's half smile and laughed merrily. "He'll sort you out."
John's frown deepened. "Isn't he the guy that nearly got you arrested on your 21st birthday?"
"Yeah!" Scott enthused and then seemed suddenly lost in the memory of the infamous night in question. He sighed contentedly and stepped closer to John, carefully slipping an arm around his shoulders. "Exactly. We need Freddy."
John shrugged away from Scott and headed across to the sofa. He sat down and glanced at Penelope before then smiling up at Scott. "Maybe some other time."
"Aww, come on, Johnny!" Scott whined, "It'll be a blast! Dad said we could relax a little now that the Hood's cronies have been rounded up."
John laughed and shook his head. "I don't think he meant for you to take that as a free pass to wild-and-crazy-land."
Scott sighed loudly, "It's only a couple of drinks with friends."
"Yeah. That's how it always starts!" John countered merrily. "Then there are more drinks and girls and photographers and police ..."
Penelope put down her magazine and watched the exchange between the two brothers in interest. "Then perhaps you definitely ought to go, John." She offered softly, "If only to ensure that your brother behaves himself." Penelope turned to Scott and a smile danced on her lips.
Scott nodded eagerly and then glanced at his watch. "I'll go call a cab."
"Don't be silly!" Penelope argued quickly, "Take one of my cars!"
"Wo!" Scott laughed loudly and raised his hands in protest. "Dude! If you think I'm turning up at Freddy's in a pink convertible ...!"
Penelope's smile grew and she folded her arms across her chest. "And what, may I ask, is wrong with pink?"
"Where d'you want me to start?!" Scott grinned.
Penelope stood slowly and stepped closer to him. "Since when do you have a problem with pink?" she urged gently.
Scott regarded her amused expression for a moment and then folded his arms to match her stance. "I don't." he answered evenly. "You do."
"I wouldn't go there, Master Tracy." Parker offered quickly as he wandered into the lounge to collect the tea set and empty plates from the centre table. "The 'pink debate' is one that you will most definitely lose." He glanced at Penelope and a smile pulled at his lips. "M'lady." He nodded and carried the crockery from the room.
Penelope watched the butler leave and then turned her attention back to Scott, smiling up at him expectantly.
"I'll get back to you." Scott chuckled, "Let's go, John."
Penelope watched Scott hurry from the room and laughed in amusement. "Wimp!" She shouted after his fleeing form and then turned to John.
John sighed and slowly got to his feet.
"Oh, surely it won't be all that bad!" Penelope frowned.
John shrugged slightly and shoved his hands into his jeans pockets, "I'm just not in the mood."
Penelope stepped closer to him and placed her hand on his arm. "If you'd like, I'll wait up for you and we can continue our little chat."
"Yeah ... maybe ..." John agreed with a small smile.
Penelope chuckled softly and turned from him to wander from the room. "And suddenly a few rounds with your brother and his boisterous friends doesn't seem such a bad idea!"