Okay, we have to have a bit of Alex perspective now - you'll see why in later installments - but the boys aren't far away ....

A/N: just for a bit of fun ... the character of Detective Superintendent Ben Pryce is based on a certain cameo role that Mr Frakes has at the end of the movie! Couldn't resist! ;o)

ooo

The sun was just appearing through the tall buildings as she jogged to the top of the stairs and out of the underground station. The wind that blew gently along the streethad an icy chill and she pulled her jacket up around her ears. From somewhere behind her came the sound of sirens and she turned to watch the police car weaving quickly through the small gathering of early morning traffic.

Alex continued along the street and watched as the police car soon turned a corner and was gone from sight. The two-tone sirens continued to echo around the buildings and she frowned in interest. This was what had first caught her attention when she was a young girl and ever since the first time she had been startled by the sudden noise and lights of an approaching police car, she had wanted to know where they were going and what had happened. The solution had seemed simple; join up and find out.

It had not been easy. First there was the response from her parents and she had been disappointed with their initial lack of support. Then there was the two years of training and, despite the claims of the police public relations teams; it was still tough for a woman to work in the midst of so much testosterone. Perhaps that was why her parents were so against the idea; they thought that their gentle daughter would become some harder than nails, probably gay, stereotype – and, in hindsight, cutting her long hair to a more sensible, hat-friendly style had not helped matters.

They were a little more relaxed now; if she didn't talk too much about her daily work then they seemed happy to forget what she did for a living and being around them was easy. Which was why she could not tell them about the stabbing. It wasn't worth thinking about the hassle that them knowing would cause and she would not be surprised if her father called up the Super to demand her dismissal.

Last night's telephone conversation with her parents had been more helpful than she had expected and she had felt bad for not calling but she had wanted to wait until she could be sure to remain composed. She had then called up Paula and discovered that the three of them had hung around with Freddy and Max for another two days before deciding perhaps they ought to get back to their jobs.

Alex smiled as she recalled how smug Paula had been when she had thanked her for taking her out that night. She had reluctantly told Paula a little more detail about the time she had spent with John and that, yes, she had called him a few times since. Paula had been delighted and very enthusiastic.

"Morning!"

Alex gasped. She had been wandering along in a world of her own and had not noticed the man that had hurried over to her. "Oh, morning Tom."

Tom laughed merrily, "What have you been up to?"

"What?" Alex frowned.

"You were grinning like you left a pleasant surprise for the next passengers on the tube!" Tom giggled.

"Nice." Alex sighed.

"How are you, anyway?" Tom continued.

Alex nodded slightly, "Better, thanks." She smiled at him and saw the concern in his eyes. He had been there that morning. Her heart raced as she recalled his horror when he had hurried over to her and discovered what had happened.

"Good." Tom smiled, "I've been out with Geordie for the past few days and it's driving me mad – I can't understand a bloody word he says!"

Alex laughed gently and then shrugged her shoulders. "I'm in for the rest of the week, though."

"Oh?" Tom frowned.

"Yeah, Supe wants me away from the action for a while. Seems I've been somewhat affected by what happened."

"No shit!" Tom laughed, "I would be, too, if some psycho-fucker had shoved ten inches of steel into me!" He saw the pain that flashed across her face and groaned slightly. "God, Al, I'm sorry – I didn't mean to be so blunt."

Alex smiled and shook her head. "Don't worry – it's refreshing! I don't really know everyone here yet and those I have worked with are creeping round me in uncertainty."

Tom nodded in understanding. "They don't know what to say, so they don't. A lesson I am yet to learn! I'm always jumping in with both feet and then thinking 'oh crap' later!"

Alex laughed and followed him up the steps into the police station.

"I guess I'll see you later, then." Tom offered as he headed towards the men's changing room.

"Yeah," Alex nodded, "Stop by and have a cup of shitty coffee."

"Nah!" Tom laughed, "I'll go to Starbucks for us!"

"Absolutely!" Alex enthused and watched him disappear into the locker room. "See ya."

ooo

She had somehow hoped that today wouldn't be so bad. She was wrong. And she was bored. By 11am Alex was restless and sure that her head would explode if she had to sort out one more report. They had assigned her to the clear up desk, basically filing reports and ensuring that all necessary documents were complete before being passed on to the appropriate departments. She could have been placed at the front desk or even in the switchboard but this was tedious.

Alex glanced around at her colleagues and saw that they were all busy at their desks or making phone calls. Not wanting to interrupt them, she turned back to her work and sighed heavily.

"Winter?"

Alex jumped slightly and looked up to see the Inspector waiting at the door of the large room. "Sir?" She nodded and frowned in interest.

"A moment, please." The Inspector smiled thinly and indicated the open door of his office that could be seen through the glass panelling.

"Sir." Alex stood and hurried after him.

Not aware of anything that she had done wrong, Alex's frown grew as she entered the office and her heart began to race as she was asked to close the door. It was like being back at school and sent to the headmaster's office and she smiled nervously as she stood before the desk.

"Have a seat." The Inspector smiled and indicated the chair across the desk from him. "It's nothing serious, Alex, I just wanted to talk to you."

Alex nodded in understanding and sat down as instructed. The use of her first name was not reassuring; this was going to be about last week.

"I didn't have a chance to speak to you after your chat with Dr Mitchell yesterday." The Inspector continued.

Alex smiled thinly; it wasn't an informal 'chat' as far as she was concerned, the shrink had called her unstable and she had fled the building fighting back tears.

"These kinds of incidents don't happen very often – which is a good thing but not so for the people involved because, very often, we don't know what to do for the best in the aftermath." The Inspector took a deep breath and then smiled thinly. "You asked to go back out and I agreed that was the best cause of action but …"

Alex swallowed back the lump in her throat and her frown grew. "May I speak candidly, sir?"

"Please." He nodded.

"I know that I freaked out the other day but I think that's to be expected the first time back in the field." She sighed and shook her head. "But that first day is done now and it'll be better next time. I don't think being in here will help me – it's only going to give me more time to worry. I know what the shr- doctor said about me but, with respect, sir, he doesn't know me."

The Inspector nodded slowly. "You came here very highly commended from Hampshire Constabulary." The Inspector opened the file on his desk and glanced down at the reports it contained. He looked back up at Alex and regarded her for a moment. "Dr. Mitchell is very experienced in his field but I would agree with you, I think he has misjudged you."

Alex couldn't help the sigh of relief that escaped her tight lips and she smiled happily.

"The admin work that is done here is vital," The Inspector shrugged, "But it's a gross misuse of your abilities."

"Thank you, sir." Alex nodded.

"Finish up the files that you have left and then after lunch I'll get you out with the next patrol."

"Thank you!" Alex beamed and stood with him to reach over and shake his hand firmly.

"At the first sign of a freak out like last week," The inspector cautioned, "Take a deep breath and ride it out."

Alex laughed and thanked him again before heading out of the office.

ooo

Alex was humming merrily as she climbed into the passenger side of the police car and buckled herself in. Okay, so she wasn't thought focused enough to drive right now but at least she was getting out there.

"Ready?" Tom asked with a smile, able to clearly see the answer on her happy face. "It's only an obligatory lap of the West End."

"Doesn't matter!" Alex shrugged.

Tom laughed and switched on the engine. "Fair enough." He laughed and eased the car into gear.

"Inspector Pryce seems like a nice bloke." Alex offered as they headed out of the car park and merged with the lunchtime traffic.

"He is." Tom agreed and glanced at Alex. "And he's just become your best mate, I bet!"

Alex smiled, "No. He's giving me a fair chance and I appreciate it, that's all."

"Unlike Mitchell," Tom offered, "He's too much of a bureaucrat – he'll sign off anyone that seems a bit unpredictable, just in case they go loopy and a member of the public complains."

"Loopy like the other day?" Alex frowned.

"No!" Tom gasped, "That bloke had it coming! And we achieved a successful arrest with minimal damage – it was fine!"

"Only because your report said as much."

Tom shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't see any problem with your handling of that arrest." He glanced at her again and smiled thinly. "It was the falling to pieces when we got back to the station that was unfortunate."

Alex nodded thoughtfully.

"Seriously." Tom continued, "Don't let Mitchell get wind of it. Come out with me and the other guys and collapse over a pint."

"Yeah, I know." Alex smiled, "It's just that I only moved here last month and it's taken time to settle in."

Tom laughed softly and, now paused at a red light, turned to face her. "Even more reason to come out and party." He urged, "How better to get to know people than with a shit load of alcohol to loosen up a bit?"

Alex laughed and nodded in agreement, her mind suddenly springing back to the nightclub and meeting John. She looked out at the traffic as the lights changed and they moved forward.

"Oh crap!" Tom groaned as he turned into a side street and came face to face with a roadblock. "I forgot about this short-cut being cut off." He turned to look behind them and began to reverse the car along the street.

Alex frowned at the lack of presence around the block and peered along the street. "There's no maintenance or anything. Why's it closed?"

"Oh, all that stuff at the weekend." Tom sighed, "They've cordoned off the whole area around the Bank of London while they clean up the mess."

"Oh, of course!" Alex gasped, "The thing with the Thunderbirds!"

"Mmm," Tom agreed idly as he turned his attention to reversing out onto the busy main street.

"I watched that on the TV in the hospital." Alex frowned as she recalled the details. "No one at the station talks about it much."

Tom waved a thank you to the van driver that had stopped to allow him access onto the road and eased the car onto the street. "We were all asked not to." He shrugged, "Only the high ranks know the absolute ins and outs."

Alex nodded in thought, "Were you there?"

Tom nodded, "I helped clear the crowds in Jubilee Gardens." He glanced at her and a wide grin pulled at his mouth. "The rockets are amazing!"

Alex laughed and shook her head in wonder.

"We've all done so well not to talk about it!" Tom enthused, "It was quite a sight." He turned the car down a different side street and they emerged onto the Embankment beside the river.

Alex looked out through the windscreen and gazed up at the immense wheel of the London Eye. She then caught sight of the tents and tarpaulin covering the damage to the gardens behind.

"I'd not have believed it," Tom continued merrily, "Those machines are bloody huge!"

Alex nodded and laughed at his boyish excitement.

Tom glanced her way and saw her amusement. "Oh, you'd have been just as hyped up if you'd been there!" His smile suddenly faded as he realised what he had said and he shrugged an apology.

"I'm sure I would." Alex nodded and turned her attention back to the road and their patrol route.

"You should see the mess they made of the grass!" Tom smiled.

Alex laughed, amused and also warming towards his childish enthusiasm.

"You want to go there?"

"What?" Alex frowned.

"To the gardens." Tom shrugged, "We could finish our lap and then pop across the river."

"I don't think we ought to go outside our perimeter." Alex countered cautiously.

"Nah!" Tom chuckled, "We'll be fine!"

It had cost them a box of muffins and fresh coffee to get here and Tom would have eagerly paid his friends more if he had needed to. Alex followed timidly as Tom giggled merrily and ducked under the police tape that cordoned off the area to wander out across the gardens. Glancing back, she saw the officers that guarded the scene tucking happily into their bribe. She thought it odd that there should be such a heavy police presence here but then they wandered behind the sheet metal fencing and could see the massive hole beneath the tarpaulin covering.

"They dug right through to the bank." Tom enthused merrily.

Alex smiled at his wide-eyed wonder and peered down into the dark depths of the entrance to the tunnel. She could remember some of the details from the news and shook her head slightly. "How are they going to fill it securely?"

Tom shrugged and wandered round the hole. "I guess they'll replace some of the earth and then top it with concrete or something." He headed back out into the gardens and strode across to point at something amid the grass.

Alex hurried over to the large black indentation that was scorched onto the lawn and smiled in wonder.

"It was amazing," Tom looked up into the cloudless blue sky above them and sighed heavily. "They're huge!" He seemed to be recalling gazing up at one of the rockets and he shook his head slightly. "And the heat coming off the engines is intense!" He laughed and turned back to Alex. "But some people are so stupid! I just couldn't believe that we had to fight to keep the crowd away from the engines of a bloody rocket!"

Alex chuckled softly and nodded in understanding, "Crispy fried onlookers, huh?"

"Yeah!" Tom enthused.

Alex smiled and then looked round to see the other varying sizes of scorch marks and the sunken areas where the ships had landed on the soft ground.

"I bet cleaning up all this mess is costing quite a bit." Tom thought aloud.

"Yeah!" Alex agreed, "I wonder who gets the bill?"

"Oh, the Thunderbirds are paying for it all." Tom shrugged, "They insisted, apparently. I guess it helps keep the government sweet. They cause enough chaos when they drop by anyway!"

Alex frowned slightly, "What d'you mean?"

"Well, for a start, there are the crazy crowds that gather wherever they arrive and then the disruption their craft cause." Tom saw her frown deepen and shrugged slightly. "They emit some kind of signal scrambler that fucks up all nearby electrical equipment." He shrugged slightly, "Speculation is that it's for security and prevents them or their craft being filmed or photographed."

Alex's frown faded and she laughed softly, "So how do they get onto the news then?"

"Well," Tom stepped closer to her and lowered his voice. "The gossip goes that either that reporter bird is one of them or the TV station is funding them in order to get exclusive rights."

Alex laughed and shook her head in disbelief. "Some people just need to get out more!"

"What?" Tom grumbled defensively. "It's cool stuff! You'd be just as into it all if you'd seen them."

"I suppose." Alex nodded and looked round the gardens. "But I wasn't." She turned back to him in amusement, "And you're not supposed to be talking about it!" She stepped past him and headed back across to their waiting car. "Come on, we've got work to do."

"Spoil sport." Tom smiled and slowly followed after her.

ooo

Alex slipped out of her uniform and pulled her jeans back on. She looked round to ensure no one was nearby and placed her radio into her bag. Checking her watch, she smiled as she figured she would have enough time to call John before getting ready to go out and meet Tom and the others at the pub.

Alex hurried from the locker room and made her way through the quiet station to the front door. She almost collided with the Inspector as he emerged from a side door along the corridor and they caught each other before both losing balance.

"Sorry, sir!" Alex laughed and felt her cheeks blushing.

The Inspector looked at his watch and smiled down at her. "We're off duty." He shrugged, "Call me Ben."

Alex chuckled nervously, "That doesn't seem right, sir."

The Inspector shrugged and then nodded back along the corridor. "How was it today?"

Alex followed him warily and nodded a reply. "Fine, sir – I mean, Ben! Sorry, sir – Ben."

The Inspector laughed and guided her into his office.

"It was a quiet day." Alex shrugged, "It was fine. I guess I'll see what I'm like on an emergency some other day."

"Dr. Mitchell wasn't happy with my decision." The Inspector continued, "He wants you back in."

"So …" Alex sighed, "You've either brought me here to tell me I'm back in or to put even more pressure on me."

The Inspector nodded and shrugged an apology. "I'm going on gut instinct and I've spoken to Tom. It's the latter."

Alex smiled thinly and nodded in gratitude. "I appreciate the faith, sir. I won't let you down."

The Inspector regarded her in interest for a moment and then took a deep breath. "Listen, Alex … I wasn't exactly telling the truth earlier – about not having much experience with what you're going through."

Alex frowned in interest as she saw the pain that flashed across his face.

The Inspector shook his head slowly and looked down at his hands, sinking into a memory for a moment. "It took me months to get over it." He continued eventually. "But I was able to get some sort of closure when I faced my attacker in court and saw him sent down for ten years." He looked up slowly and shrugged his shoulders.

Alex swallowed back the lump in her throat and nodded slowly.

"I'm very aware that you won't get that opportunity." The Inspector sighed, "Or, at least, not in that way."

Alex frowned again and could feel her heart thudding against her chest.

"I've not mentioned this to Dr Mitchell and I understand if you think I'm just an interfering old fart but …" He smiled thinly, "I think I have an idea that might help you move on but … well, it takes a great deal of strength to face up to your fear and … maybe that's what you need to do."

Alex couldn't move. She simply couldn't believe that he was suggesting that she go see him. Go see the man that she saw enough of in her nightmares.

"He's being transferred on Sunday to a hospital for the criminally insane." The Inspector resumed. "I thought you might like to be part of the escort."

Alex slowly managed to let out the breath she was holding and the racing of her heart gradually calmed. She could see the logic in his thinking and realised that his idea did hold some appeal.

"You wouldn't have to be near him – or even see him," The Inspector shrugged, "But you might sleep easier if you see for yourself that he is locked away for good."

Alex could feel tears welling in her eyes; she was touched by his concern and moved by how deep an understanding of her situation he seemed to have.

"You've got time to think about it, yet." The Inspector smiled.

"No." Alex husked and then cleared her throat. "I'll go."

The Inspector regarded her in concern.

"Thank you." Alex nodded with a thin smile. "I want to do it."

ooo

It was a wonderful evening. Alex couldn't believe that she had not done this sooner. Her colleagues were warm and funny and she was so enjoying their company. What had started as just one or two drinks after work in a local pub had soon become several hours of chatting and laughter and she suddenly felt as though she belonged.

She had been worried about how long it had seemed to be taking for her to settle into the noisier, busier London scene and had even wondered if she had made a mistake in coming here. Her talk with the Inspector andthe company she was in was now erasing all trace of doubt and she was so pleased.

"Hello? Earth to Alex?" Tom laughed in amusement, waving his handover her eyes.

Alex was torn from her musing and smiled at his cheeky grin.

Tom held up his empty pint glass and raised his eyebrows expectantly.

"Oh!" Alex laughed and nodded in understanding, "My round." She stood quickly and wandered over to the bar, frowning as she tried to recall the ten or so drinks she needed to order.

Alex leaned against the bar and dug her hand into her bag to retrieve her purse. She frowned as her fingers brushed against her radio and her heart skipped as she suddenly realised she had not thought about him for a long while.

Looking back at the group of colleagues that were fast becoming friends, Alex's frown grew; she felt sad that tonight she didn't feel that she needed to speak to him and she wondered what this might mean.

Alex carefully ferried the tray of drinks across the pub and smiled as her friends cheered in delight. She set the tray onto the table and excused herself for a moment.

A small security light sprung into action and brightness flooded across the car park as Alex wandered outside behind the pub. She shivered in the cold air and perched on the edge of the low wall that hemmed the small garden.

Alex took the radio from her bag and stared at it in silence. As she turned the dial to find his frequency, her head was suddenly spinning and she could not decide if it was from the alcohol or from knowing what she wanted to say.

"John?" She spoke softly into the receiver and released the button, listening to the static that answered her. "Are you there?"

"Hey! Hello!" Came an enthusiastic reply, "How was your day?"

Alex turned the volume down and glanced around to ensure she was still alone.

"Fine." She answered, "You?"

"Okay-ish. Better now I can hear your voice. I've missed you today."

Alex closed her eyes and let his soothing voice swim around in her mind for a moment. "I missed you, too." She whispered after a moment. "And that's the problem."

Silence.

"John?" Alex urged quietly.

"Yeah … I'm here." He responded carefully. "I … I don't like how that sounded."

Alex sighed and clutched the radio tightly. She took a deep breath and pressed the transmit button. "I'm sorry."

"Oh god … it gets worse …"

Alex swallowed back tears and nodded slowly. "I can't do this any more." She began huskily. "My whole day is spent looking forward to this moment and I can't sleep unless I've heard your voice." She paused to clear her throat and wiped her eyes on her sleeve. "But you're on the other side of the world."

"Only for another sixteen days."

Alex smiled suddenly, "You're counting down?"

"I can tell you the calculation in seconds if you like."

Alex's smile faded and she sighed heavily. "But you'll have to go again."

"And we'll make every moment until then count."

Alex groaned and further tears poured down her flushed cheeks. "I can't live like that."

"You don't know until you try."

"Please don't make this harder than it already is." Alex pleaded.

"But, Al … I thought we had something here … a connection."

Alex heard the waiver in his voice and it made her chest ache. She remembered back to how it felt to be close to him and wished he could be there to hold her. "We do … we did …" She glanced back to the pub and her friends within. "But … I need to get my life back together and … I can't do that with you in it."

Static silence.

"If I work through this with you and get back on track … what happens if you're then not around … I'll be back where I started." Alex frowned heavily, it had made so much sense in her head but now she had said it aloud she was not so sure.

"I don't understand." John said quietly.

"I really need you, John … but you're not here."

"Oh, honey, if I could, I'd be there in a heart beat."

"I know … but you can't." Alex sobbed slightly, "I know it's only been a few days and only talking on this thing but … but I'm really falling for you and … I think it's better for both of us if we leave it here."

"I disagree."

Alex flinched at the hint of anger in his firm reply and she was unsure how to respond.

"What if I need you?" John asked in a softer tone. "What if I feel the same intensity you do and think we should cling to it?"

Alex shook her head slowly. "Then I'm sorry."

"Don't do this." John whispered.

"I'm sorry." Alex repeated quietly. "Goodbye."