disclaimer ...Not mine. It's depressing, isn't it?
a/n ...This piece, compared to my others, is a bit matter-of-fact-ish in style. An exchange between Remus and Severus, talking about Lily. I wasn't sure what to title this, but I think/hope this title is suitable for what I'm trying to get across.
The assumptions in this piece are: James and Lily are going out, but she is Remus/Lily-ing behind James's back. Severus has found out about it, James hasn't, and Severus doesn't know about Remus's lycanthropy yet. Oh, and Severus is kind of un-controlled andsort of immature because he's young, but I really hope that he does seem like a young Snape, and not a Draco Malfoy clone.
Today, Severus Snape is wearing his usual robes, black and billowing and as Slytherin as he can make them.
And today, Severus Snape is wearing his best sneer, dark and scornful and as Slytherin as he can make it.
It's almost pathetic, really. The way Severus tries much too hard to maintain control, to fit in. He's always the odd one, the one who is respected but not really liked, even for a Slytherin.
A knot of his so-called friends are beside him, laughing. But essentially he is alone, and he knows it. He hates it but there is nothing he can say or do about it. Yet.
He spots Lupin walking quietly down the corridor. Without Potter and Black, patched robes, tired face, thin hair, and all. How ...interesting.
Severus stops dead. This is an opportunity. "Lupin," he spits.
Remus looks at him calmly, unfazed. He doesn't even bother to reach for his wand.
"So, Lupin. You're alone. Your little friends are abandoning you, aren't they?" Each word is slow and drawn out with a silky pleasure that is sweet but bitter and so intoxicating to Severus.
The gentle reply: "Your friends already have."
Severus looks around, realising that in his vindictive joy, he hadn't noticed that Rodolphus and the others had already walked past, not caring to stop and wait for him. Severus pretends to be unaffected. "Yes, Lupin, but I don't believe I care," he lies smoothly.
A shrug. "How well you lie to yourself, Severus." Lupin is always so irritatingly calm. And, equally annoyingly, he constantly refers to people by their first name, friend and foe alike. It's just one of those things, just like James Potter and Lily are just one of those things ...one of those many things that Severus hates.
"I've heard about ..." Severus pauses to throw in a good derisive laugh, and continues delicately, " ...your little ...romantic rendezvous with Miss Evans. Behind Potter's back, even." Delighting in Lupin's suddenly pale face, he goes on, "Gryffindor morals, I'm sure - borrowing your best friend's paramour without his knowledge."
Remus knows Severus had a little crush on Lily, had always been a little bit in love wtih her - just like Remus himself. He doesn't taunt him about jealousy, doesn't taunt Severus about anything the way James and Sirius do. "Blackmail, is it, Severus?" he asks matter-of-factly, composed, mostly, though the paleness stays.
"It is," snickers Severus. "And it's Snape to you."
"Severus," insists Lupin.
How infuriating.
"I suppose you're going to tell James?" says Remus lightly.
Severus raises an eyebrow, laughing sourly. "Going to beg for mercy now, Lupin? You're not the big boy you think you are, are you? You and your little friends; so unbreakable ...so loyal ..." He sneers triumphantly.
Remus says nothing, only looks at Severus, almost but not quite placatingly.
"You think you're so great," Severus continues, bitterly. "You and Potter - all you see in Evans is that she's pretty." It is rare that Severus opens up like this, rare that Severus Snape ever speaks his mind.
"Maybe James does," says Remus, still in that same inanely serene tone.
Severus glares at him. "She isn't going to choose you, Lupin. She's going to choose Potter, with his foolish Gryffindor naivete and his overly inflated head. She's going to choose him, Lupin, and she's going to stick with him. Oh, she might proclaim her adoration for you, but you're just a game to her. Evans will never love you."
Remus doesn't argue, doesn't deny any of it, doesn't say that I know Lily, she's better than that. He just says: "I know."
But it is spoken so quietly that Severus does not hear it. Mistaking the calmness for contempt, Severus snarls, "You think you're so great, Remus Lupin. You think Evans will leave Potter for you. You think you're the greatest. You don't know what it's like to be second best, you don't know what it's like to be different."
Remus doesn't contradict him. Instead, he thinks about James and Lily, thinks about the moon, and smiles a sad, bitter smile.