Author's Note: Here's Chapter Six, entitled "Deja Vu All Over Again."
Please read and review.
And, for those of you who are wondering if this story will end up with a happy ending, I don't want to give the ending away, but what I can say is, have faith! Have faith that everything that's happening makes sense and will make sense in the end. And I say that not only about my story, but about life in general.
Albert Einstein once said that there's only two ways of approaching life: one approach is to think that nothing in life is a miracle, and the other approach is to think that *everything* in life is a miracle. Well, this story definitely is about the second approach to life. . . . again, please read and review. Thanks! -- HM.
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Gordo stood there, his feet firmly planted in the pathway leading up to the McGuire's house, unable to move, deathly afraid of what was occurring just inside the door, yet, overcome with an insatiable curiosity to learn about what was going on inside.
"Okay, Lizzie, I hate this, but I really have to get going now," said Jimmy. "But I'm really glad I got to spend this extra time with you."
About a half-hour ago, just as Jimmy was about to leave for his sister's party, he got a call on his cell phone from his sister, who told him that she was running late, and needed another half-hour before she was ready to be picked up. Jimmy took that extra half-hour to spend more precious time with Lizzie, a girl he felt enormous affection for.
"Oh, I'll miss you, Jimmy," sighed Lizzie.
Gordo then heard the two kiss, and all he could do was cringe, and feel a quiet, forlorn sadness drape over his heart. Oh no, Gordo thought, I'm going through exactly what David went through . . . I can't go through this, I can't go through this . . .
"Lizzie?" said Jimmy.
"Yes?"
"Okay, I know I'm being a neurotic jerk, but, just reassure me here . . .there's really nothing between you and Gordo?"
Gordo felt his heart tighten as he heard Jimmy's word. No, no, I can't believe this is happening, it's happening all over again . . and Gordo braced himself for what he knew he was about to hear.
"Jimmy! I told you before, and I'll tell you again, there's absolutely *nothing* going on between me and Gordo!! He's just my friend, Jimmy, I repeat, he's just my friend. Got it?" Lizzie let out a sarcastic, scolding smile, then gave Jimmy an affectionate "evil" eye, and then wrapped her arms around him and gave him a kiss. "Do you believe me now, Mr. Smith?"
"Uh, yeah. But, uh, I think I need some more reassuring, if you know what I mean," winked Jimmy, and the two kissed again.
Gordo heard all of this going on, and he could only mutter to himself in a half-trance state, it's deja vu all over again, it's deja vu all over again. Gordo could feel all the energy drain away from his body, as his mind was bombarded with thoughts saying to him over and over again, "you never had a chance, Gordo, you never had a chance." He wanted nothing more than for this moment to end. But, it was not yet over . . .
"Lizzie, I want to tell you something," said Jimmy.
"Okay, tell me!"
"Lizzie, I know it's been only a week, but I already know this in my heart. . . I'm falling in love with you, Lizzie McGuire, you are the most amazing most beautiful girl, and I'd love to go steady with you."
"oh Jimmy," whispered Lizzie.
"And look, I'm not expecting you to feel the same way, I just needed to tell you how I feel."
Lizzie embraced Jimmy again and held onto him with all of her strength, worried that he would disappear and go away forever. "I really like you, too, Jimmy, and well, I just need some time, but, you are the sweetest, most wonderful boy I've ever known, and well, we'll see, okay?" And Lizzie reached forward and gave Jimmy another deep kiss.
Gordo's mind whirled, as he felt himself detaching from his body. This is so surreal, mused Gordo. I can't believe how much this hurts . . .
"Okay, I really have to go now. I'll call you tomorrow, okay Lizzie? And maybe we can do catch a movie when you're feeling better."
"Okay! And have fun at your sister's party! Tell her I say hello, and as for you, Jimmy Smith, you'd better not stop thinking about me, you got it?" commanded Lizzie.
"No problem." Jimmy kissed Lizzie for the last time, and he stepped out the doorway to see Gordo, standing just right outside, with an odd blank look on his face.
"Hey, what's up, Gordo!"
Gordo knew that Jimmy was coming out of the house, but he didn't have the energy to react. He could only stand there, helpless, hoping desperately that someone would awaken him and tell him this was all just a bad nightmare.
"Hey . . ."
Lizzie peered out of her doorway, saw Gordo, and said, "Hey Gordo! Did you just get here?"
"Uh, yeah, Lizzie, I just got here," said Gordo, in a low, deflated, monotone voice.
"Well, Gordo, it's nice to meet you, I'm Jimmy, but I've got to run, we should hang out sometime. Later. See ya Lizzie, I'll call you!" said Jimmy as he raced to his car.
"Gordo, don't just stand there, come in!" barked Lizzie, with a welcoming smile on her face. She had missed her best friend, and she was glad, as always, to see him again.
Gordo nodded in acknowledgement, and then he began taking small, reluctant steps into the McGuire's house. He felt like he was a death row prisoner walking to the electric chair. . .
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It was a few minutes before 8:30 p.m., and Lizzie and Gordo were sitting on the couch, waiting for the Wizard of Oz to start. The pizza they had ordered had arrived 25 minutes ago, and they both were finishing off their last piece of ham and pineapple pizza.
The two had been deathly silent the entire time, and Lizzie was concerned about her friend. I wonder what's wrong with Gordo?
Gordo, meanwhile, was trying desperately to keep his emotions in check and his mouth shut. He knew he needed to make sure that he didn't get into a fight with Lizzie, and despite the titanic emotional turmoil churning inside his heart, he was determined to keep it all in and make sure nothing happened to his best friend. I'm *not* going to kill Lizzie, I'm *not* going to kill Lizzie, muttered Gordo silently.
As Lizzie finished off her slice of pizza, she reached over, touched Gordo's arm, and asked, "Okay, Gordo, are you okay? You seem really . . .quiet, and sad. Is there something the matter?"
Gordo flinched from Lizzie's touch. "uh, what? I'm fine, Lizzie, I'm fine. I'm just, uh, tired, that's all."
As Gordo finished his sentence, the Wizard of Oz began playing on t.v.
"Gordo, I know you from the inside out. There's something wrong with you and I know it. And I'm worried about you. Are you okay?"
"Look Lizzie, I said I'm fine, okay?" snapped Gordo.
Lizzie was taken aback by Gordo's sharp response. "Okay, Gordo, now I'm absolutely know that something's wrong. What's up?"
Before Gordo could respond, the phone began to ring. Lizzie picked up the cordless phone and answered it. "Hello? Oh, hi Jimmy!"
Gordo solemnly watched Lizzie's eyes light up upon hearing Jimmy's voice. He could tell from her body language how much she liked Jimmy.
"Are you having a good time? Did you say hi to your sister for me?" A few moments passed as Lizzie listened intently to Jimmy's response.
"Ohmigosh, you are so sweet Jimmy! That's so beautiful Jimmy. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I adore you so much!"
Gordo had no idea what Jimmy had said to Lizzie, but he knew that Lizzie was loving and taking in everything he was saying to her.
Lizzie then suddenly looked Gordo straight in the eye, then said into the phone, "Jimmy, I've told you a hundred times already, Gordo's my bestest friend in the world, but you know you're the only boy I like, you know, in that way!" giggled Lizzie, a bit too embarrassed to tell Jimmy exactly what she meant, especially with Gordo listening in on her conversation.
Gordo took Lizzie's glance and he suddenly began feeling a dark, intense emotion begin to arise within. He was starting to feel *angry* with Lizzie, the same anger that David had felt and had told him about. He knew Lizzie's life was at stake, but at this moment, all he could feel was the raw, electric power of his jealous emotions.
"Okay, I'll miss you too, Jimmy. Have fun, and call me tomorrow!!" said Lizzie, as she hung up the phone. She turned to Gordo, excited about her budding relationship with Jimmy, and eager to tell Gordo about how much she liked Jimmy, wanting her best friend to enjoy her happiness along with her.
"ohmigosh, Gordo, that was Jimmy and he said such the sweetest things to me!" gushed Lizzie.
Gordo couldn't take it anymore. "Look Lizzie, I just want to watch the movie, I don't really want to hear you go on and on about that Jimmy guy. If you ask me, I think he's a real loser anyway."
Gordo's words cut through Lizzie's heart like a sharp knife. Lizzie's joy and enthusiasm quickly evaporated, as she turned to realize just how sullen, and upset, her friend was.
"Gordo, that was an awful thing to say. What's the matter with you?"
"Nothing's the matter with me, Lizzie, except I think you're setting yourself up for getting really hurt, that's all."
"What are you talking about, Gordo?" asked Lizzie, in a deeply concerned voice.
"Jimmy, he's a jock, Lizzie. He's one of the popular kids, like Kate and Claire. He's nothing but trouble. And frankly, I'm seriously disappointed in you for falling for a dumb jock like that."
Lizzie said nothing, stunned by the angry tone and words expressed by Gordo.
"Come on, Lizzie, don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about."
"You-you're disappointed in me, Gordo?"
"Yeah! I mean, wouldn't you be disappointed in me if I started going ga-ga over Kate?"
"But, Jimmy's different, he's not like Kate at all."
Gordo suddenly lost all control of his emotions. "Well, that's because you're blind and clueless, Lizzie. Come on, wake up! That guy's a complete jerk! He's just using you, you know that! He doesn't mean any of those things he's telling you!"
Gordo, what are you doing? You're doing everything David told you not to do! Lizzie's life's at stake, stop this right now! But there was nothing able to stop Gordo now from unleashing all the hurt, all the anger, all the jealously upon the girl he loved.
"Go-Gordo, why are you saying these things?" whispered Lizzie, as tears began streaming down her soft, rosy cheeks.
"Because I'm trying to *protect* you Lizzie! That's why!" yelled Gordo. "I'm trying to make sure you don't get hurt, can't you understand that?"
Lizzie averted her gaze from Gordo's angry eyes. She responded, softly, "so, you're trying to protect me by saying all these awful things about me and my boyfriend?"
Upon hearing Lizzie call Jimmy her boyfriend, Gordo lost absolutely all control over his raging emotions. "Yes, that's exactly what I'm trying to do, Lizzie. Can't you get it through your thick blonde head, that guy is a complete *loser!* And, if you see something in that jerk, then, what is it saying about *you* Lizzie? Huh, tell me? What does it say about you when you fall for a dumb jock like that?"
An eerie silence fell between the two friends. The television was still on, and Gordo could hear the sounds of a tornado emanating from the television, as the Wizard of Oz was still on screen, and the tornado was now carrying Dorothy to the land of Oz. Gordo looked at his watch. It was 9:00 p.m. Oh, no, don't tell me that it's going to happen again . . .
It was happening again . . .
A despondent, tearful Lizzie broke the silence, saying, "Gordo, look, I need to go for a drive, okay? I think I need some air, and some, uh, space, and time, to think about what you said." Lizzie slowly got up from the couch, put aside her blanket, and began walking over to the table to pick up her car keys. "You can stay here if you want, Gordo. I'll be back in a little while."
The reality of what was happening, again, snapped Gordo out of his angry trance. No, no, Lizzie, you can't go. . . .
"Lizzie, wait, don't go, please don't go. I'm really sorry, I really don't know what I was saying."
Lizzie burst into tears, and screamed back at Gordo, "Oh, yes you do Gordo! You knew exactly what you were saying! Ohmigod, I can't believe that's the way you really think about me, and about Jimmy. You are so awful Gordo, I can't believe you said those things!" Lizzie then grabbed the keys from the table, and stormed out the door into the pouring rain.
Gordo felt himself overcome with paralysis, as he felt his feet gluing themselves to the floor. He couldn't move. As he watched Lizzie walk outside, he was overcome with feelings of utter helplessness.
Oh no, I'm sorry David, I'm so sorry David, I messed up, I messed up . . .it's happening all over again . . .it's my fault, it's my fault, it's my fault. . . .
And, for those of you who are wondering if this story will end up with a happy ending, I don't want to give the ending away, but what I can say is, have faith! Have faith that everything that's happening makes sense and will make sense in the end. And I say that not only about my story, but about life in general.
Albert Einstein once said that there's only two ways of approaching life: one approach is to think that nothing in life is a miracle, and the other approach is to think that *everything* in life is a miracle. Well, this story definitely is about the second approach to life. . . . again, please read and review. Thanks! -- HM.
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Gordo stood there, his feet firmly planted in the pathway leading up to the McGuire's house, unable to move, deathly afraid of what was occurring just inside the door, yet, overcome with an insatiable curiosity to learn about what was going on inside.
"Okay, Lizzie, I hate this, but I really have to get going now," said Jimmy. "But I'm really glad I got to spend this extra time with you."
About a half-hour ago, just as Jimmy was about to leave for his sister's party, he got a call on his cell phone from his sister, who told him that she was running late, and needed another half-hour before she was ready to be picked up. Jimmy took that extra half-hour to spend more precious time with Lizzie, a girl he felt enormous affection for.
"Oh, I'll miss you, Jimmy," sighed Lizzie.
Gordo then heard the two kiss, and all he could do was cringe, and feel a quiet, forlorn sadness drape over his heart. Oh no, Gordo thought, I'm going through exactly what David went through . . . I can't go through this, I can't go through this . . .
"Lizzie?" said Jimmy.
"Yes?"
"Okay, I know I'm being a neurotic jerk, but, just reassure me here . . .there's really nothing between you and Gordo?"
Gordo felt his heart tighten as he heard Jimmy's word. No, no, I can't believe this is happening, it's happening all over again . . and Gordo braced himself for what he knew he was about to hear.
"Jimmy! I told you before, and I'll tell you again, there's absolutely *nothing* going on between me and Gordo!! He's just my friend, Jimmy, I repeat, he's just my friend. Got it?" Lizzie let out a sarcastic, scolding smile, then gave Jimmy an affectionate "evil" eye, and then wrapped her arms around him and gave him a kiss. "Do you believe me now, Mr. Smith?"
"Uh, yeah. But, uh, I think I need some more reassuring, if you know what I mean," winked Jimmy, and the two kissed again.
Gordo heard all of this going on, and he could only mutter to himself in a half-trance state, it's deja vu all over again, it's deja vu all over again. Gordo could feel all the energy drain away from his body, as his mind was bombarded with thoughts saying to him over and over again, "you never had a chance, Gordo, you never had a chance." He wanted nothing more than for this moment to end. But, it was not yet over . . .
"Lizzie, I want to tell you something," said Jimmy.
"Okay, tell me!"
"Lizzie, I know it's been only a week, but I already know this in my heart. . . I'm falling in love with you, Lizzie McGuire, you are the most amazing most beautiful girl, and I'd love to go steady with you."
"oh Jimmy," whispered Lizzie.
"And look, I'm not expecting you to feel the same way, I just needed to tell you how I feel."
Lizzie embraced Jimmy again and held onto him with all of her strength, worried that he would disappear and go away forever. "I really like you, too, Jimmy, and well, I just need some time, but, you are the sweetest, most wonderful boy I've ever known, and well, we'll see, okay?" And Lizzie reached forward and gave Jimmy another deep kiss.
Gordo's mind whirled, as he felt himself detaching from his body. This is so surreal, mused Gordo. I can't believe how much this hurts . . .
"Okay, I really have to go now. I'll call you tomorrow, okay Lizzie? And maybe we can do catch a movie when you're feeling better."
"Okay! And have fun at your sister's party! Tell her I say hello, and as for you, Jimmy Smith, you'd better not stop thinking about me, you got it?" commanded Lizzie.
"No problem." Jimmy kissed Lizzie for the last time, and he stepped out the doorway to see Gordo, standing just right outside, with an odd blank look on his face.
"Hey, what's up, Gordo!"
Gordo knew that Jimmy was coming out of the house, but he didn't have the energy to react. He could only stand there, helpless, hoping desperately that someone would awaken him and tell him this was all just a bad nightmare.
"Hey . . ."
Lizzie peered out of her doorway, saw Gordo, and said, "Hey Gordo! Did you just get here?"
"Uh, yeah, Lizzie, I just got here," said Gordo, in a low, deflated, monotone voice.
"Well, Gordo, it's nice to meet you, I'm Jimmy, but I've got to run, we should hang out sometime. Later. See ya Lizzie, I'll call you!" said Jimmy as he raced to his car.
"Gordo, don't just stand there, come in!" barked Lizzie, with a welcoming smile on her face. She had missed her best friend, and she was glad, as always, to see him again.
Gordo nodded in acknowledgement, and then he began taking small, reluctant steps into the McGuire's house. He felt like he was a death row prisoner walking to the electric chair. . .
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It was a few minutes before 8:30 p.m., and Lizzie and Gordo were sitting on the couch, waiting for the Wizard of Oz to start. The pizza they had ordered had arrived 25 minutes ago, and they both were finishing off their last piece of ham and pineapple pizza.
The two had been deathly silent the entire time, and Lizzie was concerned about her friend. I wonder what's wrong with Gordo?
Gordo, meanwhile, was trying desperately to keep his emotions in check and his mouth shut. He knew he needed to make sure that he didn't get into a fight with Lizzie, and despite the titanic emotional turmoil churning inside his heart, he was determined to keep it all in and make sure nothing happened to his best friend. I'm *not* going to kill Lizzie, I'm *not* going to kill Lizzie, muttered Gordo silently.
As Lizzie finished off her slice of pizza, she reached over, touched Gordo's arm, and asked, "Okay, Gordo, are you okay? You seem really . . .quiet, and sad. Is there something the matter?"
Gordo flinched from Lizzie's touch. "uh, what? I'm fine, Lizzie, I'm fine. I'm just, uh, tired, that's all."
As Gordo finished his sentence, the Wizard of Oz began playing on t.v.
"Gordo, I know you from the inside out. There's something wrong with you and I know it. And I'm worried about you. Are you okay?"
"Look Lizzie, I said I'm fine, okay?" snapped Gordo.
Lizzie was taken aback by Gordo's sharp response. "Okay, Gordo, now I'm absolutely know that something's wrong. What's up?"
Before Gordo could respond, the phone began to ring. Lizzie picked up the cordless phone and answered it. "Hello? Oh, hi Jimmy!"
Gordo solemnly watched Lizzie's eyes light up upon hearing Jimmy's voice. He could tell from her body language how much she liked Jimmy.
"Are you having a good time? Did you say hi to your sister for me?" A few moments passed as Lizzie listened intently to Jimmy's response.
"Ohmigosh, you are so sweet Jimmy! That's so beautiful Jimmy. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I adore you so much!"
Gordo had no idea what Jimmy had said to Lizzie, but he knew that Lizzie was loving and taking in everything he was saying to her.
Lizzie then suddenly looked Gordo straight in the eye, then said into the phone, "Jimmy, I've told you a hundred times already, Gordo's my bestest friend in the world, but you know you're the only boy I like, you know, in that way!" giggled Lizzie, a bit too embarrassed to tell Jimmy exactly what she meant, especially with Gordo listening in on her conversation.
Gordo took Lizzie's glance and he suddenly began feeling a dark, intense emotion begin to arise within. He was starting to feel *angry* with Lizzie, the same anger that David had felt and had told him about. He knew Lizzie's life was at stake, but at this moment, all he could feel was the raw, electric power of his jealous emotions.
"Okay, I'll miss you too, Jimmy. Have fun, and call me tomorrow!!" said Lizzie, as she hung up the phone. She turned to Gordo, excited about her budding relationship with Jimmy, and eager to tell Gordo about how much she liked Jimmy, wanting her best friend to enjoy her happiness along with her.
"ohmigosh, Gordo, that was Jimmy and he said such the sweetest things to me!" gushed Lizzie.
Gordo couldn't take it anymore. "Look Lizzie, I just want to watch the movie, I don't really want to hear you go on and on about that Jimmy guy. If you ask me, I think he's a real loser anyway."
Gordo's words cut through Lizzie's heart like a sharp knife. Lizzie's joy and enthusiasm quickly evaporated, as she turned to realize just how sullen, and upset, her friend was.
"Gordo, that was an awful thing to say. What's the matter with you?"
"Nothing's the matter with me, Lizzie, except I think you're setting yourself up for getting really hurt, that's all."
"What are you talking about, Gordo?" asked Lizzie, in a deeply concerned voice.
"Jimmy, he's a jock, Lizzie. He's one of the popular kids, like Kate and Claire. He's nothing but trouble. And frankly, I'm seriously disappointed in you for falling for a dumb jock like that."
Lizzie said nothing, stunned by the angry tone and words expressed by Gordo.
"Come on, Lizzie, don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about."
"You-you're disappointed in me, Gordo?"
"Yeah! I mean, wouldn't you be disappointed in me if I started going ga-ga over Kate?"
"But, Jimmy's different, he's not like Kate at all."
Gordo suddenly lost all control of his emotions. "Well, that's because you're blind and clueless, Lizzie. Come on, wake up! That guy's a complete jerk! He's just using you, you know that! He doesn't mean any of those things he's telling you!"
Gordo, what are you doing? You're doing everything David told you not to do! Lizzie's life's at stake, stop this right now! But there was nothing able to stop Gordo now from unleashing all the hurt, all the anger, all the jealously upon the girl he loved.
"Go-Gordo, why are you saying these things?" whispered Lizzie, as tears began streaming down her soft, rosy cheeks.
"Because I'm trying to *protect* you Lizzie! That's why!" yelled Gordo. "I'm trying to make sure you don't get hurt, can't you understand that?"
Lizzie averted her gaze from Gordo's angry eyes. She responded, softly, "so, you're trying to protect me by saying all these awful things about me and my boyfriend?"
Upon hearing Lizzie call Jimmy her boyfriend, Gordo lost absolutely all control over his raging emotions. "Yes, that's exactly what I'm trying to do, Lizzie. Can't you get it through your thick blonde head, that guy is a complete *loser!* And, if you see something in that jerk, then, what is it saying about *you* Lizzie? Huh, tell me? What does it say about you when you fall for a dumb jock like that?"
An eerie silence fell between the two friends. The television was still on, and Gordo could hear the sounds of a tornado emanating from the television, as the Wizard of Oz was still on screen, and the tornado was now carrying Dorothy to the land of Oz. Gordo looked at his watch. It was 9:00 p.m. Oh, no, don't tell me that it's going to happen again . . .
It was happening again . . .
A despondent, tearful Lizzie broke the silence, saying, "Gordo, look, I need to go for a drive, okay? I think I need some air, and some, uh, space, and time, to think about what you said." Lizzie slowly got up from the couch, put aside her blanket, and began walking over to the table to pick up her car keys. "You can stay here if you want, Gordo. I'll be back in a little while."
The reality of what was happening, again, snapped Gordo out of his angry trance. No, no, Lizzie, you can't go. . . .
"Lizzie, wait, don't go, please don't go. I'm really sorry, I really don't know what I was saying."
Lizzie burst into tears, and screamed back at Gordo, "Oh, yes you do Gordo! You knew exactly what you were saying! Ohmigod, I can't believe that's the way you really think about me, and about Jimmy. You are so awful Gordo, I can't believe you said those things!" Lizzie then grabbed the keys from the table, and stormed out the door into the pouring rain.
Gordo felt himself overcome with paralysis, as he felt his feet gluing themselves to the floor. He couldn't move. As he watched Lizzie walk outside, he was overcome with feelings of utter helplessness.
Oh no, I'm sorry David, I'm so sorry David, I messed up, I messed up . . .it's happening all over again . . .it's my fault, it's my fault, it's my fault. . . .