Is there even a chance, of a candle in the darknes Chapter 4: Matchstick, an one tree hill fanfic

Disclaimer: it's in the first chapter

Paring: brucas

Rating: PG

Summary: Brooke is sick and no one knows.

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Matchstick

BROOKES POV

I sit here in my hard sat as I listen to the teacher drone on, and on, and on, and on about some worthless piece of information.

I mean, think about it, how often am I really going to need to how Shakespeare used to write his name??

The class has been going for about 45 minutes so far, and I've managed to avoid everyone's prying eyes.

I can feel Lucas gaze burning into my neck, but I refuse to acknowledge it. So what if he's looking at me? It's not like he really cares. He pointed that out quite clearly when he cheated on me.

So instead I stare at the black board, the words etched in white chalk, and my eyes gradually fill with tears. How did my life get so screwed up??

This time last year I was gorgeous, a cheerleader and horrendously popular. I had Peyton as my Best friend, and a dozen guys lined up to get me into bed.

And then I met Lucas Scott. He was so different to all the other guys.

He saw through the mask, and he saw the real me. The person whose parents hated her, the person who lived a lie, and the person who was afraid of love.

He started out as just another guy, but he became so much more than that. He became someone that I fell for. Hard.

But every good thing's has to eventually come to an end right?

The sad thing was that this good thing ended just after I had finally realised my love for him, and revealed it.

Best friends are supposed to be just that: Best friends.

They paint your toenails, and go to trashy movies with you. They don't steal you boyfriend.

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RIIIIIIINNNNNGGGGGGG goes the school bell, signalling the end of the period.

I fish into my bag, and pull out my timetable to check what class I'm headed to next. Photography.

Well at least something's on my side today I think with a small smile.

I put my stuff back into by bag and then heave it onto my shoulder. The shoulder that's bruised from surgery.

I lat out a pained gasp, as the bag flies off my arm and lands hard on the floor.

Tears spring to my eyes as I try to get my bearings back.

I bend down to pick up the damned bag, and just as I go to grasp onto the strap, another hand beats mine to it.

A tanned masculine hand.

I freeze, and I let my eyes follow the hard, up to the arm, shoulder, neck, and then the face.

Lucas Scott, the one person I just can't deal with at the moment.

So before I get lost into the daze that his eyes send me into, I advert mine, and instead snatch the bag form his hands, and with a slightly choked word of thanks, I'm flying out the door towards the girls bathrooms.

I crash through the wooden door, and manage to get into a cubical before I fall to the ground, my knees tucked under my chin, and my back pressed hard against the stall door.

And then I let it all loose.

All the tears that I've been keeping locked up for the past two month's, escape.

And hell it feels like shit. Who ever said that crying helps must have been on pot when they made that worthless observation.

Because my eyes are stinging, my face is aching, and I have salty tears streaming into my mouth.

My Mascara is running black rivers down my pasty cheeks, and all I can think of is how my heart is breaking even more, if that's even humanly possible.

Because no matter how many operations or illnesses I'm diagnosed with, nothing will solve the pain that's in my chest.

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I hear the bell go again, and almost start crying all over again realizing that I've missed a whole period of photography.

And now it's Lunch.

I just hope that Lucas has the second one.

I stand up slowly, but still get a little faint.

After i've gathered my balance, I pick up the damn bag, making sure this time to put it over the other shoulder. I take a few uneasy steps towards the basin, and gingerly glance up into the mirror above it.

Crap. I guess that crying doesn't really help your appearance either.

I shove a shaking hand into my bag for my makeup purse, only to realize that for the first day in my teenage life I've forgotten it.

So now ill have to try and wash my face with my hands, and then go into the cafeteria like this.

God my life sucks.

I'm just about to start another bout of tears, when the bathroom door swings open to reveal none other than Haley.

She looks astonished to see me standing there, but instead of staring, she just walks straight towards me and gives me a hug.

After a few seconds, she gingerly pulls away and asked the dreaded question "are you okay Brooke?"

Realising that if I start to talk, I might just let those tears spill over, I merely shake my head.

She nods understandingly. And then reaches into her backpack to pull out a makeup purse. She hands it to me and then says with a comforting smile "here, you can borrow this. How about when you're finished, you come and meet me on the front stairs? Ill be there all lunch, just come if you feel like it okay?"

I nod.

She smiled at me once more, and then walks towards the exit. Just before she disappears out the door she adds as an afterthought "oh, and Luke won't be there."

And then she's gone.

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I apply one last sweep of blush, and then put all the products back into the little case.

Then I think.

Do I really want to go and sit with Haley this lunch? I mean, she is Lucas' best friend.

But then again, I really do need all the friends and help that I can get, and she did seem to genuinely want to help.

And besides, I'm sick of being stuck in this hell by myself. So without a backwards glance at the mirror, I push through the doors, and into the sunlight.

I'm not afraid of life

Of the poor man's struggle

Of the killer's knife

I'm not afraid of life

Of an insane rage

Of the minimum wage

I'm not afraid of life

But I see an old lady with a shopping bag

And I wonder is life a drag

I'm not afraid of pain

But it hurts so bad

I feel so mad

No one sees the truth

There's nothing to gain

A life goes down the drain

I don't want to die at an early age

I'm not afraid of life

But I see a street crazy shivering cold

Is it a crime to be old

There's the threat of the nuclear bomb

We know it's wrong

Is there a chance for peace

Will the fighting ever cease

Mankind's almost out of luck

A maniac could blow us up

I'm not afraid of life

But I get on my knees and I pray

Is there hope for the world today

END OF CHAPTER

AN: hi. I hope that chapter was alright. It's mainly just about what Brooke is feeling at the moment. The song at the end is called "I'm not afraid of life" and it's by the ramones (go the ramones!!).

Anyway, please review and tell me what you think. Ill try to post the next chapter tomorrow.