She had magically got the word delivered from some acquaintances they
shared with a certain Liam Meany, an inmate at Oz, and had though about it
ever since.
Now she had finally managed to find the courage to see him.
This is so fucking stupid! A voice in her head told her as she dialled the number.
Why? You're not fucking scared of him, he wouldn't harm you for the world and you know it! So what's the worst thing that could happen? He'll throw you out?
Like he's going to be able to throw anyone out in the state he's in!
He'll tell you that he hates you? That he doesn't love you? And that he never has and never will and that he never wants to see you again?
So what if he doesn't love you? You're not to crazy about him either, with rights, but you need closure!
Besides, the man is in a fucking coma, he's not going to go blabbering to anyone about anything!
Now make the fucking call!
"Benchly memorial."
"Hi, my name is Shannon; Shannon O´reily...I'm calling about my husband..."
It was a complete lie, and if the nurse took the time to check around in the files or ask anyone who knew their story, she'd know that in a second.
"Oh, I see."
"How's he doing?"
"Well, you'll have to talk to the doctor about that, dear...Why don't you come down here and talk to him?"
"No, well, I..."
"You see, in cases like this Doctor Winters really prefers to speak to all parties involved face to face...There! I've booked you in first thing tomorrow dear, will that be O.K?"
"But...But..."
"Really, I think it's for the best if you come down here and meet the doctor, and you can see your hubby too, provided the police let you..." The tone in the woman's voice told her that she wasn't very happy with the police being there... It made Shannon instantly like the woman a whole lot more!
So what if she wasn't his wife anymore?! If she just went there and talked to the doctor and saw him for a brief second, what harm could it do?
"Dear? So how about tomorrow then? At one o'clock?"
She took a deep breath and said it quickly!
"Um, yeah, that's O.K I guess..."
"Excellent! You'll see that your hubby will be just fine in no time..." The nurse was trying to console her, obviously mistaking her doubts as to going for grief or fright of what had happened.
She caught herself actually *being* frightened at what had happened, but quickly threw that thought away!
"Alright then, maybe I´ll see you tomorrow then sweetheart, I'm on duty between noon and six o'clock, my name is nurse O´Connel."
"Um, yeah...Thanks..."
She heard the receiver being put down at the other end and put her own phone back on the latch.
"Shit Shannon O´reily! What have you just gotten yourself into?!"
She heard herself saying it out loud and groaned.
Oh, so now I'm talking to myself too?! Now that's just fucking great! Stop it! Just stop!
***************************************************************************
The next day, at one o'clock, after a sleepless night, she arrived at the hospital.
She went up to the desk in the reception.
"Could you tell me where ICU is please?"
"Sure miss. You just go down this hall and to the left, there you'll find an elevator hall. Take the elevator up to the fifth floor, and you're there."
"Thanks."
She walked of in the direction the woman behind the counter had pointed out to her.
ICU...It sounded so fucking serious...It was serious!
There was a time a few years back, where this was all she longed for...Some sort of revenge. Get the bastard back for what he had done! She wished she could still feel that way...Now she mostly felt sorry for him, the man she had loved in all ways possible, who had loved her...Or at least she thought so...
She wouldn't let him of without telling him her mind this time though; she still had that much anger in her. No siree, he would not be let of easy... Not like she had a few years ago, or like when he had screwed around and cheated on her with basically every woman in the whole fucking city of New York. Or well, at least it had felt that way....
This time she wanted answers to her questions, or, no, she didn't want them, she *demanded* them! He wasn't getting away this time, courtesy of his bullshit charm. This time it was serious!
Of course, maybe it would be a good idea to let him wake up from that coma he was in, before she started asking questions and demanded answers...
She stepped out of the elevator out into the hallway. She paused for a moment outside the door to the ward, but then decisively pushed it open and walked into the ward and up to the counter just inside the door.
"Shannon O´reily...I'm here to see my e...my husband..."
"Oh, yes! Welcome dear, I'm nurse O´connel." The woman smiled at her and she smiled back.
"Nice to meet you dear."
"Um, you too."
"Let's see...Mr. O´reily is in room 373. I´ll walk you there. Now I want you to prepare yourself a bit dear...You husband was *very* lucky to make it out of that attack alive, but well, he did get some serious injuries and we've had to put him on a respirator and a few monitor devices..."
Shannon suddenly felt as if this hadn't really been a very good idea at all!
The nurse registered the doubts on her face and said: "Don't worry, it's alright to be a bit scared. But he's still you husband, he's not a freak, and hopefully, he will be completely recovered, even though it will take a very long time. But what we are hoping for now, is that he will wake up out of his coma, and then we'll just have to take it from then..."
They had arrived to the room in which her ex-husband was lying. The man she hated and loved and always had and probably always would... The nurse waved for the policemen to go away and Shannon took a deep breath as the nurse opened the door, and walked in.
Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw! Even if she had seen Ryan get into fights and even shootouts before, nothing had been as bad as this!
There where tubes and machines everywhere, attached through chords, to various parts of Ryan's body.
She immediately backed out of the room and had to steady herself towards the wall to be able to stay up-right.
"Oh dear, oh dear!"
The nurse went up to her.
"Don't be scared dear! He needs you, now more than ever...I know it's hard to try to stay strong, but this time he needs for you to have strength for the both of you...Let's try to go in there again, huh, and I´ll explain what all the tubes and machines is doing, so you can understand it better...O.K?"
Shannon snivelled a bit but then said: "OK"
"Good."
The nurse gently held her shoulder as they walked back into the room.
***************************************************************************
After the nurse had explained what all the machines was doing for Ryan, Shannon felt a bit better.
"I´ll tell the doctor you're here, dear, and he'll send someone for you when he's ready. O.K?"
"Um, O.K."
Shannon sat down on a chair next to the bed where the man was lying, motionless as the nurse moved out.
The nurse had told her to talk to him, to "keep his brain going".
She didn't know what to say though...
"Hey. Just thought I´d let you know I'm here...If you knew, I'm sure you'd go ape-shit though. I mean it's not like we were on really chummy terms last time we met..."
Images of his cold eyes that day, and herself running out of the room, furious, only to stop outside the gates to cry her eyes out, surfaced.
"God you're such an idiot! I guess you're paying for it too though, huh?..."
Of course there was no reply.
"Well anyway, I need to talk to ya...I guess it's not very fair of me to tell you my mind when you can't defend yourself though...Besides, I want you to be awake to hear what I have to say!"
Just then there was a knock on the door.
"Missus O´reily?"
"Um, uh, yeah..." She hadn't been called Missus by anyone for ages. Six years to be exact...
"Doctor Winters is ready for you now."
"Oh."
"Come on, I´ll show you to his room." Trying to be helpful with all the fuss she saw that the other woman was going through.
"O.K...I mean...Thanks."
The nurse smiled at her.
"You're welcome."
Shannon got up and walked to the door. Then she turned around taking a last look on her ex-husband, and went with the nurse.
**************************************************************************** **************
Now she had finally managed to find the courage to see him.
This is so fucking stupid! A voice in her head told her as she dialled the number.
Why? You're not fucking scared of him, he wouldn't harm you for the world and you know it! So what's the worst thing that could happen? He'll throw you out?
Like he's going to be able to throw anyone out in the state he's in!
He'll tell you that he hates you? That he doesn't love you? And that he never has and never will and that he never wants to see you again?
So what if he doesn't love you? You're not to crazy about him either, with rights, but you need closure!
Besides, the man is in a fucking coma, he's not going to go blabbering to anyone about anything!
Now make the fucking call!
"Benchly memorial."
"Hi, my name is Shannon; Shannon O´reily...I'm calling about my husband..."
It was a complete lie, and if the nurse took the time to check around in the files or ask anyone who knew their story, she'd know that in a second.
"Oh, I see."
"How's he doing?"
"Well, you'll have to talk to the doctor about that, dear...Why don't you come down here and talk to him?"
"No, well, I..."
"You see, in cases like this Doctor Winters really prefers to speak to all parties involved face to face...There! I've booked you in first thing tomorrow dear, will that be O.K?"
"But...But..."
"Really, I think it's for the best if you come down here and meet the doctor, and you can see your hubby too, provided the police let you..." The tone in the woman's voice told her that she wasn't very happy with the police being there... It made Shannon instantly like the woman a whole lot more!
So what if she wasn't his wife anymore?! If she just went there and talked to the doctor and saw him for a brief second, what harm could it do?
"Dear? So how about tomorrow then? At one o'clock?"
She took a deep breath and said it quickly!
"Um, yeah, that's O.K I guess..."
"Excellent! You'll see that your hubby will be just fine in no time..." The nurse was trying to console her, obviously mistaking her doubts as to going for grief or fright of what had happened.
She caught herself actually *being* frightened at what had happened, but quickly threw that thought away!
"Alright then, maybe I´ll see you tomorrow then sweetheart, I'm on duty between noon and six o'clock, my name is nurse O´Connel."
"Um, yeah...Thanks..."
She heard the receiver being put down at the other end and put her own phone back on the latch.
"Shit Shannon O´reily! What have you just gotten yourself into?!"
She heard herself saying it out loud and groaned.
Oh, so now I'm talking to myself too?! Now that's just fucking great! Stop it! Just stop!
***************************************************************************
The next day, at one o'clock, after a sleepless night, she arrived at the hospital.
She went up to the desk in the reception.
"Could you tell me where ICU is please?"
"Sure miss. You just go down this hall and to the left, there you'll find an elevator hall. Take the elevator up to the fifth floor, and you're there."
"Thanks."
She walked of in the direction the woman behind the counter had pointed out to her.
ICU...It sounded so fucking serious...It was serious!
There was a time a few years back, where this was all she longed for...Some sort of revenge. Get the bastard back for what he had done! She wished she could still feel that way...Now she mostly felt sorry for him, the man she had loved in all ways possible, who had loved her...Or at least she thought so...
She wouldn't let him of without telling him her mind this time though; she still had that much anger in her. No siree, he would not be let of easy... Not like she had a few years ago, or like when he had screwed around and cheated on her with basically every woman in the whole fucking city of New York. Or well, at least it had felt that way....
This time she wanted answers to her questions, or, no, she didn't want them, she *demanded* them! He wasn't getting away this time, courtesy of his bullshit charm. This time it was serious!
Of course, maybe it would be a good idea to let him wake up from that coma he was in, before she started asking questions and demanded answers...
She stepped out of the elevator out into the hallway. She paused for a moment outside the door to the ward, but then decisively pushed it open and walked into the ward and up to the counter just inside the door.
"Shannon O´reily...I'm here to see my e...my husband..."
"Oh, yes! Welcome dear, I'm nurse O´connel." The woman smiled at her and she smiled back.
"Nice to meet you dear."
"Um, you too."
"Let's see...Mr. O´reily is in room 373. I´ll walk you there. Now I want you to prepare yourself a bit dear...You husband was *very* lucky to make it out of that attack alive, but well, he did get some serious injuries and we've had to put him on a respirator and a few monitor devices..."
Shannon suddenly felt as if this hadn't really been a very good idea at all!
The nurse registered the doubts on her face and said: "Don't worry, it's alright to be a bit scared. But he's still you husband, he's not a freak, and hopefully, he will be completely recovered, even though it will take a very long time. But what we are hoping for now, is that he will wake up out of his coma, and then we'll just have to take it from then..."
They had arrived to the room in which her ex-husband was lying. The man she hated and loved and always had and probably always would... The nurse waved for the policemen to go away and Shannon took a deep breath as the nurse opened the door, and walked in.
Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw! Even if she had seen Ryan get into fights and even shootouts before, nothing had been as bad as this!
There where tubes and machines everywhere, attached through chords, to various parts of Ryan's body.
She immediately backed out of the room and had to steady herself towards the wall to be able to stay up-right.
"Oh dear, oh dear!"
The nurse went up to her.
"Don't be scared dear! He needs you, now more than ever...I know it's hard to try to stay strong, but this time he needs for you to have strength for the both of you...Let's try to go in there again, huh, and I´ll explain what all the tubes and machines is doing, so you can understand it better...O.K?"
Shannon snivelled a bit but then said: "OK"
"Good."
The nurse gently held her shoulder as they walked back into the room.
***************************************************************************
After the nurse had explained what all the machines was doing for Ryan, Shannon felt a bit better.
"I´ll tell the doctor you're here, dear, and he'll send someone for you when he's ready. O.K?"
"Um, O.K."
Shannon sat down on a chair next to the bed where the man was lying, motionless as the nurse moved out.
The nurse had told her to talk to him, to "keep his brain going".
She didn't know what to say though...
"Hey. Just thought I´d let you know I'm here...If you knew, I'm sure you'd go ape-shit though. I mean it's not like we were on really chummy terms last time we met..."
Images of his cold eyes that day, and herself running out of the room, furious, only to stop outside the gates to cry her eyes out, surfaced.
"God you're such an idiot! I guess you're paying for it too though, huh?..."
Of course there was no reply.
"Well anyway, I need to talk to ya...I guess it's not very fair of me to tell you my mind when you can't defend yourself though...Besides, I want you to be awake to hear what I have to say!"
Just then there was a knock on the door.
"Missus O´reily?"
"Um, uh, yeah..." She hadn't been called Missus by anyone for ages. Six years to be exact...
"Doctor Winters is ready for you now."
"Oh."
"Come on, I´ll show you to his room." Trying to be helpful with all the fuss she saw that the other woman was going through.
"O.K...I mean...Thanks."
The nurse smiled at her.
"You're welcome."
Shannon got up and walked to the door. Then she turned around taking a last look on her ex-husband, and went with the nurse.
**************************************************************************** **************