A Second Chance – Chapter 18
A deathly silence fell over the McGuire house. Lizzie sat there, motionless, her hands still gently laying in Gordo's palm, with a glazed look on her face, as if she was caught in a hypnotic trance. Her eyes were wide open, yet it looked like she was asleep. Although her silent gaze was fixed firmly on his face, it was as if she was looking through him rather than at him.
Even though only a few seconds had passed since he had told her the truth, for Gordo, time passed as if it were going in slow motion. He felt himself entrapped in an agonizing eternity.
Damn it, Gordo, you shouldn't have told her all of that at once! You've sent her into shock. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
"Uh, Lizzie, are, are you okay?" He asked gingerly, as he gave her hands an inquisitive squeeze.
She responded with a chilly silence.
After another few forever seconds had passed, he could feel her trying to pull her hands away from him. This time, he reluctantly let her hands go.
As soon as her hands were free, she lifted herself up off the couch, scooted away from Gordo, and sat back down at the far end.
He watched her and shook his head, realizing he had made a mistake. He could sense the emotional distance growing between them and engulfing the entire house.
He shifted his body to try to move closer to her, but his attempt was quickly rebuffed.
"Gordo, stop. Please don't come closer to me. I – I just need some space, that's all. I'm feeling claustrophobic all of a sudden," she said in a soft, solemn, defeated voice.
"Uh, sure, no problem," he said, as he stopped his movement and settled back into his original spot on the couch.
"Thanks."
"Lizzie?" He said, with great trepidation. He found himself feeling incredibly nervous, completely unsure of how she was feeling right now.
"Yes?"
"What—what do you think? You know, about what I just told you? I know it's a lot to take in, I'm so sorry about that, but I really wanted to ---"
"Gordo, stop, I think I get it, so you don't have to keep saying that stuff, okay?" She said, with a palpable tremble in her voice.
He could tell that she was extremely emotional, but still, he couldn't figure out what she was feeling, he couldn't read her at all. She seemed on the verge of tears.
Was she angry about the situation? Was she angry with him? Was she sad? But, more importantly, did she believe what he had just told her?
"You get it? You mean, you understand? So, you believe me, Lizzie?"
She gave him a piercing stare. "No, I – I don't believe you, I'm sorry, Gordo."
Her answer hit him like a sledgehammer. He felt a terrible sinking feeling in his stomach, and he could feel himself losing energy. For some reason, when she told him that she didn't believe him, it felt like she had just told him that she didn't love him.
"But, but, you have to belie –"
Lizzie quickly cut him off. "Please, stop. Don't explain. I – I already know why you're telling me all this awful stuff. It's because, you know, you – you . . ."
She was having immense difficulty finishing her sentence.
"Because I what?" He asked with fearful curiosity. What in the world is she getting at?
She paused, then whispered, "It's because you . . . you're in love with me, that's why you're lying to me and saying those awful things to me." As she finished her sentence, her face quickly turned a bright shade of crimson. She was suddenly overwhelmed with feelings of self-consciousness, as she began to feel the awkwardness of having her best friend telling her that he had been in love with her for all these years.
He was floored by her answer. She thinks I'm lying to her! And because I love her I'm lying to her?
With a tinge of anger, frustration, and confusion in his voice, he replied in as slow and calm a voice as possible, "Lizzie, I really have no clue what you're talking about. Why would my feelings for you make me tell you something that's not true? Why would I lie to you?"
"Because you're jealous, of Jimmy, of me and Jimmy, and this is your crazy way of trying to get me to break up with him. But, it's not working, it's not, all your story is doing is making me feel really hurt, you know? Why can't you see that, Gordo?" She said, as she turned her back to him and began to cry.
She was crying because she couldn't believe that her best friend would go to such lengths and tell her awful lies about how she was going to die if she continued to see Jimmy. Perhaps someone blinded by love and infatuation might say such hurtful things in order to win a person's love, but, a friend , a true friend, would never be so deceitful, so calculating, so malicious. I don't want him to be in love with me if it means I'm going to lose him as my friend, she thought. . . .
And so, at this moment, it felt as if she had just lost her best friend, it felt like there no longer was anyone in the world that she could trust, no one she could have faith in.
She felt incredibly alone."Lizzie," he said as he moved towards her to comfort her.
As his right hand touched her back, she immediately shrugged her shoulders and said softly, "Please don't touch me right now, Gordo, please."
He quickly took his hand off of her back, and not knowing quite what to do with himself, he stood up and began pacing back and forth in front of the couch.
Of course, he thought, that story you just told her must have sounded like some ridiculous fabrication conjured up by one desperate, imaginative fool made up in order to get Lizzie to go out with you. Alright, you're making a complete mess of things, but you've got to keep trying, you've got to make her believe . . . .
He stopped pacing and stood right above where Lizzie was laying, her head resting on the armrest, her knees tucked into her chest. He pushed aside the coffee table, knelt down on his knees, and directly faced the back of her head. He could still hear her quietly sobbing, and he wanted desperately to comfort her, to stroke her soft blonde hair, to tell her that everything is going to be alright, but he knew right now that the last thing she wanted was to be comforted by him.
So, still on his knees, he whispered to her, "Lizzie, I know you're really upset and confused right now, but I just want you to listen to me, okay?"
He could hear her crying slow down, as if she was letting him know that she was listening. He then continued. "I know what I told you must sound totally insane, and I completely understand if you think I've lost all my marbles. I know what you're going through, because I had the same reaction when David told me the same thing. I just couldn't believe it. So, right now, I really don't expect you to fully believe anything I've said."
He stopped, wondering what she was thinking. But, whatever he was saying, he had the feeling that it was getting through to her, as he could sense her body start to soften and loosen up, as if she were putting down her guard and becoming more open to what he was saying.
Sensing an opening, he instinctively lifted his right hand and began to lightly stroke her hair.
Slightly surprised by his tender touch, she shook her head slightly, then she quickly she let herself go and relented to the soothing caress of his fingers.
Okay, she doesn't totally hate me, he thought, as he breathed a sigh of relief. He hadn't lost her yet. As he continued to stroke her hair, he said, "But, Lizzie, here's something I need to tell you, something that I really want you to hear."
With those words, she turned around to face Gordo. Her eyes were red and teary, but he could see a sparkle in those weary eyes, a spark that was telling him that she was opening up to him again and that she was listening.
He reached for her right hand and interlocked his fingers with hers. He said in a slow, soft voice, "I know I said some awful things earlier tonight, and yes, you're right, I am jealous of Jimmy. But, Lizzie, believe me, I would never, ever lie to you. Never. Because as much as I'm in love with you and want to be with you and want you to be with me, the biggest thing I fear is losing you as my friend, as my best friend. And best friends never lie to each other, and I know I'd lose you as my friend if I ever lied to you."
"Oh, Gordo . . . ." she said, as the sparkle in her eyes grew larger and larger. I haven't lost him, she thought, I still have him, I still have my best friend . . . .
"I know things must seem so topsy turvy and confusing right now, "he said.
She sat up, flashed him a wry smile, and said, "Uh, yeah! This whole night has been soooo weird."
"Yeah, I know. I'm so sorry,"he said, as he leaned over and gave her a comforting kiss on her cheek.
She returned his kiss with a soft, affectionate smile. She thought, I'm getting really used to having Gordo kiss me . . . .
"But right now, I'm not asking you to believe the things I've said, all I'm asking you is to believe in me, and to trust in me."
"Yes, I trust you, I believe in you, Gordo."
"Great. Now, come with me. Are you feeling okay enough to get up?"
"Yes, why?"
"I have an idea for really convincing you that what I said is true. I want you come with me to your father's office. I've set up the ham radio there. "
"The ham radio?"
"Yeah, I brought it over, just in case I needed to talk to David again. But, I've got a new idea, and hopefully, this will convince you that I'm telling the truth. We're going to get on that radio and we, you, we're both going to talk to David, and he'll tell you everything."
"What?" She said with great incredulousness. If what Gordo is saying is true, then, I'm about to talk to the adult version of him, she thought. That's just so strange. "You mean, you want me to talk with this person whom you're saying is you, except he's 12 years older and he's living in the future?"
"Yes," he replied with firm conviction. "Please, Lizzie, just trust me, have faith in me, I promise, you'll soon understand everything that's happened tonight. Take that leap of faith with me, McGuire."
Leap of faith? Yes, he certainly was indeed asking her to take an enormous leap of faith. But, she thought, isn't that what friends do? "Oh, okay, "she answered.
"Great! C'mon!" He took her by her hands and gently lifted her up off the couch. He put his arm around her shoulder and they slowly walked over to her father's office.
He took her over and placed her in the office chair. He then grabbed a wooden chair next to the door, brought it over to the desk and sat on it. He quickly turned on the radio, tuned into David's frequency, and began to talk into the microphone.
"David? Are you there? It's me, Gordo!"
He was answered with static. After a few seconds had passed, he spoke into the microphone again.
"David! It's Gordo, tell me that you're there!"
More static.
"Maybe he's not there. Listen, Gordo, I'm getting really tired, maybe we can try it another time," she said, as she impatiently drummed her fingers on the table.
"No, we don't have much time, I don't know how long this radio will be able to reach the future," he replied. He then tried the radio again. "David, hello David! It's me Gordo, are you there? Please answe r me!"
This time, he finally received an answer.
"Gordo? Is that you? Yeah, it's me, David!"
Gordo was overcome with excitement. He quickly responded, "Yes, it's me! Man, it feels like it's been forever since I last talked to you! How are you?"
"Well my head is still killing me from my fall on the floor, but that's not important right now. I want to know how things are going with you and Lizzie. How is she?"
"Well, why don't you ask her yourself, David. Lizzie's right here with me."
"Wha --?" Said David. "No, this isn't good, she shouldn't know what's going to happen . . . ."
"David, it's too late, I've already told her everything. I know you told me not to, but I thought I had to tell her, to make her understand."
"Oh, my god, no . . . ." replied David, clearly distraught.
"Listen, everything's going to be alright. Here, I'm handing the microphone to her. Hold on a sec. . ."
Gordo pushed the microphone closer to her, and he motioned her to talk. She stared back at Gordo and then at the microphone, stunned by the chain of events, completely unsure of what was happening and what was about to happen. She thought, that voice , David's voice. . . it does sound really familiar. But, it can't be, it just can't . . . .
She gingerly took hold of the microphone, and with hesitation, finally made herself talk.
"Umm . . . hi, David. It's me, Lizzie, Lizzie McGuire. We talked for a little bit yesterday. Do you, uh, remember me?"
As she finished her sentence, she turned and looked straight into Gordo's eyes as she waited anxiously to hear David's response . . . .