Author's note: This was a Christmas giftfic for misatocs livejournal. I think it turned out pretty well.

Unrequited

I was just visiting. It is not something I do often, but I think I will from now on.

He was visiting his brother, just stopping by, up for the weekend, he said. He said it almost apologetically, as if he thought that I would be upset for him intruding on something. No… not upset about –him-. Not now, not ever. I was shocked that he would even say anything about it, probably due to little stories I have heard about him and his personality quirks here and there, but experiencing him in person was very different. Meeting him for the very first time, I was struck dumb by the way he looked. He had that sexy James Dean kind of thing going for him, with the jeans, the boots, the leather jacket… and the motorcycle, which I found out about later (to my absolute surprise and delight). The way he talked, the way he moved, everything about him was indescribably sexy. I felt like a complete fool as we both noticed that I was staring at him, but he just smiled knowingly at me and winked, disarming me completely and making me feel that perhaps it wasn't such a big deal that I had been staring, after all. My heart skipped a beat at the wink, because part of me wanted to think that maybe… maybe he could like me. The other part of me… I have been trying to shut up.

We sat on the couch and talked, making idle conversation about practically nothing, it seemed, but I enjoyed every minute of it. Every word from his lips, every gesture he made to illustrate a point, it all had a poignant effect on me. I watched him in wonder, and I know now, adoration, as he spoke animatedly to me about… I do not even remember at this point.

He never told me what I could call him… and it's driving me crazy. Uesugi-san, Tatsuha-san… Tatsuha-kun? I have no idea what to do. It would make me happier than anything in the world if I could call him just plain Tatsuha, without having to add an honorific. I doubt that we will ever become that close, although I can always hope, right? He gave me his phone number, with a wink and a sly grin, as if he expected me to call… but how can I call him if I don't even know what to call him? I feel like I'm stuck.

Maiko closed her journal and tucked it underneath her mattress where her mother would certainly not be able to find it. She sighed, sitting back down on her bed and drawing her legs up under her. She picked up her cordless phone as she sat, studying the digital display. She wondered if she should call Shuichi, to ask him if he had seen Tatsuha recently, and if he knew when Tatsuha would be visiting next. She also wondered if that would be too telling, and if it would allow Shuichi too much information about her so-far secret crush on her favorite author's little brother. She turned the phone over and over in her hands, thinking perhaps too much about what Shuichi might say to her, or to Yuki Eiri, about her line of questioning… and if it would get back to Tatsuha that she had been asking about him. A tiny thrill ran through her at the thought of Tatsuha knowing, second- or third-hand that she was interested in him, but she blushed at the idea as well. Would he merely be flattered, or interested as well? Did he even remember her? It had been nearly two weeks since she had seen him last. She sighed deeply at the very possible scenario that, after that entire conversation about… something, music, she thought… that he did not remember her. Well, then she should remind him, she thought, and she dialed Shuichi's number from memory.

"This is Shuichi!!"

"Hi there, Shu-chan, it's Maiko."

"Maiko-chan!! Hiiiiiiiiiiii!!!! I was just thinking about you!"

Maiko was surprised, because she didn't think that her brother had the time, or the brain capacity, to think about anything other than Bad Luck and Yuki Eiri. "Aww, Shu, thanks… hey, I was just wondering…" Suddenly she found that she couldn't ask, she just couldn't say it. Her mouth opened, but nothing came out except "uhm…" She wondered why it was so hard for her to ask her own brother about Tatsuha's whereabouts, if he even knew them.

"Maiko? You okay?" Shuichi's voice was tinged with concern at Maiko's inability to speak. Usually she was just as much of a chatterbox as he was.

"Uhm, yeah… I was…" Maiko told herself to think quickly. "I just wanted to know if you were busy tomorrow, and if you wanted to have dinner somewhere?" She breathed a quiet sigh of relief, happy that she saved herself from impending utter embarrassment.

"Ohhhh, Maiko-chan, I'm sorry! Yuki's brother, Tatsuha-kun, is coming up from Kyoto, and we're all going out somewhere. You remember Tatsuha-kun, don't you?"

Maiko's breath caught in her throat at Tatsuha's name. "Yes… yes, I remember him…" She almost couldn't speak as she tried her best to act casual. "How long is he staying for?" She hoped that she would be able to stop by under the guise of visiting her brother… and that the desperation she felt at the possibility of seeing Tatsuha again did not show through in her voice.

"Oh, not long, not really, Maiko-chan. Actually… hey! Do you want to come with us tomorrow?" Muffled whispering was heard, and then Shuichi spoke again. "You can come, Yuki said it's okay!" It was plainly evident, even over the phone, that Shuichi was smiling broadly. "It'll be so much fun! Almost like a double-date!"

Maiko's heart leapt in her chest at the thought. A date!!! With Tatsuha!!! Her mouth spoke before her brain had even finished registering the idea. "Yes! That would be really nice, Shuichi!" She hopped a little on her bed, too excited not to show it physically as well as verbally.

"Yay!!! I'm so happy!!! I'll see you tomorrow, Maiko-chan!" Shuichi hung up the phone, and with a brilliant smile on his face, went to go actually convince his lover to allow Maiko to go with them. He wasn't stupid, at all… he saw the way she had looked at Tatsuha…

The next afternoon, Maiko started her routine early, wanting to give herself plenty of time before Shuichi arrived to pick her up. She primped in the mirror, trying to make sure that every tiny detail of her outfit, her makeup and her hair was perfect before she would allow herself to think of setting foot outside the house. They were only going to dinner at a casual family-style eatery, and then to a movie afterwards, but she was taking this as seriously as if they were going to an elegant restaurant, and then to the opera, or something of that ilk. She thought she had never been as excited in her life as she was then, and her cheeks were slightly flushed from the feeling. Despite her racing heart, her movements as she dressed and coiffed her hair were slow and precise; she did not want to risk a single flaw. Her entire being was bent on appearing perfect for Tatsuha.

She hummed and smiled to herself, her mind flashing though several pleasant fantasy scenarios, including one in which he proposed to her at the restaurant. These fantasies bolstered her confidence in her own abilities to speak with him tonight, and perhaps ask him… well, perhaps not, she thought with a deeper blush gracing her cheeks. She still thought that there was no possible way she could ask him on a date. Moreover, he lived in Kyoto, a good two hours away, and he certainly would not waste four hours on a commute to have a date with her, would he?

Maiko sighed and shook her head, trying to dispel the negative feelings. Of course he would, he was coming up tonight just to have dinner with his brother, right? Of course, right. She looked dolefully in the mirror as she applied a coat of lip gloss, and then seemed to cheer a little as she surveyed her reflection as a whole. From her carefully straightened hair to her miniskirt, she had to admit that she looked more than half-decent. "Pretty good, Maiko!" she said aloud, grinning brightly as the thought of Tatsuha falling for her tonight suddenly did not seem as unreachable.

A knock on her bedroom door jolted her from her reverie. She opened it to see Shuichi beaming at her. "Ready, Maiko-chan?" He cocked his head at her. "Wow, you look great!" He laughed and grabbed her hand, "Come on, Yuki is waiting outside for us! He's gunning the engine and all, and I think he's going to be annoyed if we don't hurry!"

Maiko grabbed her purse as Shuichi pulled her forcibly out the door, and they were out of the house and in the car before she could even blink. She found herself in the backseat, with hardly enough time to thank Eiri for picking her up before being told by an over-eager Shuichi that she really really had to fasten her seat belt…

They arrived at the restaurant in a matter of a few minutes, thanks to Eiri's dangerously swift driving, and Maiko emerged from the car breathless, almost feeling as if she had experienced something as powerful as… she blushed at the thought and tried to clear her mind as they walked into the restaurant, and procured a table. She glanced at Eiri a few times, wondering how he and his brother could differ to the extent that they did… one warm and affable, the other cold and avoidant. Her affectionate thoughts of Tatsuha consumed her as they sat, and she stared at the vacant seat at the table wishing the person for whom it was reserved would arrive. Her eyes shifted to the effervescent Shuichi, who was fairly bouncing in his chair as he perused the menu, planning to order far more than what would be good for him.

Eiri lit up a cigarette, inhaling deeply and sitting back in his chair to survey the table, including the empty seat, with his typical unemotional glare. Shuichi made a face at the cigarette smoke and turned his face away from Eiri, and towards Maiko, grinning and leaning in to whisper, "He is on his way, don't worry!"

Maiko's face turned an unbecoming shade of red. "Shu-chan…"

Shuichi kept grinning at her. "You're not too hard to figure out, Maiko-chan!" He laughed, his impish face still bright with the smile. "He'll be here, don't worry! Your makeup and stuff won't be going to waste!"

Maiko only blushed harder, tugging at the neckline of her top nervously. Her voice was hushed as she finally spoke. "I like him, Shu-chan…"

Shuichi made a pfft noise. "Yeah, everyone could tell." He laughed again and settled back in his seat, looking over at Eiri to beam at him lovingly as Maiko was left to ponder his last words. Everyone? Could Tatsuha tell? She wondered if he had been laughing at her inside, even as he spoke to her so intimately, or… if he had been thinking about seeing her again. She was completely lost in her thoughts as time wore on, so lost that she did not notice as Eiri's cell phone rang, and he answered it with a gruff remark. She did not even think of listening to his end of the seemingly heated conversation, and was only startled out of her trance-like state when Eiri slammed the phone angrily onto the table.

"That asshole brother of mine, calling now to tell me he's changed his mind about coming here… at this rate, we'll be late for the movie." He lit another cigarette, scowling, as Maiko's face fell, as well as her mood.

"Not coming? Is he alright?" She clung to the possibility that Tatsuha might be ill, or there might be some reasonable explanation for his decision… something other than what the knot forming in the pit of her stomach told her.

"Yeah, he's fine… little shit. Called to tell me, all excited, that he finally got some girl to go out with him." He rolled his eyes and pocketed the phone. "Heh. We'd better eat fast, or else the brat here is going to bitch about missing the previews."

Shuichi whined, unhappy about being called a brat in front of his sister… or at all, really. "Yuki!!!"

Maiko was slowly tuning everything out, now feeling slightly ill. The knot in her stomach had become a large mass of despair. She could hardly believe that Tatsuha blew them off... to go out with a girl… "Yuki-san, Shu-chan… I think I will just head home. I'm not feeling well, I think." She stood up and gave them both a tight smile. "Thank you for inviting me out, though." Ignoring Shuichi's vehement protests and Eiri's offers to drive her home, she walked out of the restaurant, mentally berating herself for thinking that a guy as seemingly perfect as Tatsuha could ever like her… or even remember her. She shivered in the cool night air as she stumbled homeward, cursing herself for wearing these impractical clothes, designed to impress the absent young monk. She kicked a small rock down a residential side street, half-heartedly trying out a shortcut as she became further and further lost in her thoughts. Did he even remember her, or was she just deluding herself into thinking that he could ever care?

Maiko barely noticed the group of surly-looking young thugs closing in on her until one of them grabbed her arm, his hand clamping down on the slender limb with a painfully tight grip. She tried to jerk away, but he leered at her and pulled her close to him, pressing his body against hers. "Where ya goin', girly? Lookin' for some fun, all dressed up like that?" He licked his lips suggestively, and she started to panic. Her mouth opened to scream, but he clamped his hand over it before she could utter a sound. The other two boys stepped up next to them, murmuring appreciation at her clothes… and the lack of them. Maiko thought she would die if one of the others touched her… especially somewhere she was not very anxious to be touched. Her panic kept rising, making her feel as if she were going to fall to pieces under the stress, as the boys kept talking about 'partying' with her… their explicit words designed to scare her further.

Suddenly, a mechanical roar was heard, steadily increasing in volume as the maker of the commotion approached. A motorcycle came quickly into view, the driver seemingly intent on using the street for the same reason as Maiko... to avoid going the long way around. Maiko found herself flung aside as the motorcyclist espied the group and screeched to a halt, positioning the bike so it would block part of the road. He dismounted quickly, pulling his helmet off. "And what do we have here?" Tatsuha arched an eyebrow at the street kids, who were looking irate and very disappointed that their little fête had been disrupted. He looked at Maiko, and then did a double take as recognition flashed over his face. "Maiko-san, what are you doing here?" He looked upset that she had been manhandled… but perhaps, she thought, more upset than he would if she had just been a casual acquaintance…

Maiko hardly registered that he had remembered her name before she ran over to him and grabbed his hand. "Tatsuha-san, they grabbed me, and…" The look in her eyes was that of pure terror.

He stared back at her for a second, and then shifted his eyes towards the defiant trio. "Okay, Maiko-san, let's go, then." He handed her the helmet and then got onto the bike, directing her to get behind him, which she gladly did, clinging to him with her arms wrapped tightly around his waist. Her panic quickly subsided as she pressed herself against his back, smiling at his comforting warmth and the distinct sensation of his muscles shifting beneath his clothing. "I thought you were going to dinner with Shuichi and aniki?" He sounded a little concerned as he restarted the engine and drove off.

It took Maiko a couple seconds to realize he was talking to her again. "Ah, yes… but Yuki-san said that you weren't coming, and…," she stopped, not wanting to let him know so readily that she did not want to be there if he were not there.

"Yeah, sorry about that… I guess I was jumping the gun… I came all the way up here, anyway, and the girl blew me off." He sighed. "Do you think that they're still expecting us at the restaurant?" He was hungry, and now furtively wished he had just gone with the original plans of dinner and a movie with the three of them.

Maiko pressed herself closer to him as they stopped at a light. "Ah… no… they should be at the movie already, sorry, Tatsuha-san." She sighed, wondering if he was just going to take her home… or if she should ask.

"Oh… well, would you care to have dinner alone with me, then? I mean, I know we don't know each other very well, but it would be a good chance to talk, and all."

Maiko felt her heart surge in her chest. No matter that she was the second choice in this situation, she was happy enough that Tatsuha, the boy she was pining for, actually said that he wanted to get to know her better! This was her big chance! "Yes! I would love it!" Her voice squeaked a little, making her blush.

"Oh, good… I wasn't sure, and all. You never called me, so I thought you weren't interested… good thing the other girl blew me off, then, huh?" He laughed as he sped off in the direction of a decent restaurant, the wind rushing around them now making conversation impossible. Instead, Maiko contemplated the situation. She only now recalled that he had remembered her… even her name… and came to a very pleasing conclusion. She smiled against Tatsuha's back as they neared their destination, murmuring so softly that she could barely even hear herself…

"Yes… it's a very good thing…, Tatsuha."