A Second Chance -- Chapter 24

Author's notes: Thanks for your reviews! Here's the next chapter, from David's POV. There should be at least two more chapters after this one, but we're definitely heading towards the final resolution of the story.

DAVID'S POV

The static from the ham radio was deafening. Yet, he continued to sit there, in his chair, in stunned silence, unable to muster the energy or strength to turn the radio off.

He knew that he had lost the connection with the past, but, in the deep recesses of his heart, he was desperately clinging onto the hope that some how, some way, he would be able to hear Lizzie's voice over the radio once again.

"Lizzie . . . ." He whispered into the darkness, "come back . . . ."

He continued to wait as the bitter static kept singing its angry song to him. He stared intently at the radio, trying by sheer will to transform the chaotic noise into the sound of her voice.

And yet, still nothing, except for the static.

Finally, after twenty-minutes had passed, he finally conceded to the reality of the situation.

She's gone, he bitterly concluded. Oh my god . . . I've lost her, again . . . .

With a deep sigh of resignation, he turned the ham radio volume down and drowned out the static with empty silence. He turned it down, but he kept the radio on, just in case, by miracle's chance, he might hear her lyrical voice calling out to him again.

He then slowly got up from his chair and dragged himself to his couch. He sat down dejectedly, propped his elbows up on his knees, and buried his face in his palms.

He then sat there, frozen in that position.

While his body was immobile, his mind was frantically chasing the past, as he replayed over and over in his mind the last conversation he had with Lizzie.

And he came to a startling conclusion. She . . . she's right, he thought, I do need to let go of her . . . .

He didn't want to hear it, but she had been telling him that he needed to move on with his life, to stop grieving her death, to let her go, to stop living in the past and to start living in the present.

Oh my god, it's like I've been sleepwalking through the last twelve years of my life. I haven't been truly alive all these years . . . that's what Lizzie was trying to tell me . . . .

His mind then started wandering to thought about his current girlfriend, Allison, who was away for the weekend. Even though they were technically still together, he knew that the end for their relationship was near. He had planned to break up with her when she returned from her trip. That is, if she didn't break up with him first.

Their troubles started almost as soon as their relationship began. Even when they first started dating, he couldn't help but talk to Allison about Lizzie and what she meant to him. At first, she was understanding and empathetic, but as, the relationship wore on and he continued to talk and think about her, Allison became more and more frustrated with David and his inability to let go of the past.

She constantly told him she was jealous of Lizzie, because she knew that his mind and heart was still firmly wrapped around his undying love for Lizzie, and so he was never fully present with her, he was never fully committed to her.

She felt like part of a bizarre love triangle, she had told him over the phone before she left for her trip.

And he knew Allison was right, and that she deserved much better from him. But, he just couldn't give her the love she wanted and needed, because even though she was a beautiful, intelligent, and loving woman, the problem was, she just wasn't Lizzie.

But, now, he was deeply confused, because it was Lizzie herself who told him that he needed to wake up from his walking slumber and that he needed to embrace life in the present moment instead of living in the illusionary fantasies of the past.

But, that is what he didn't fully understand. Why would God or the Universe tamper and alter time and space in order to put him through such a cruel, twisted, cosmic joke? Why would the Universe bring back Lizzie to him, in order to just take her away from him once again? Had everything he had done these past few days all been for naught? Would he wake up the next morning only to find out that she was still dead, and that he would be cursed forever with the knowledge of having lived through her death twice?

Shaking with anger, he leaped off of his couch and headed to the back porch. He desperately needed some air.

He reached the back door, and he gingerly turned the knob and flung the door open. He was met with a gust of cold air and sharp sprinkles of rain.

The impact of the rain hitting the porch floor was deafening. It sounded like a million typewriters clicking and clattering all at once.

He stood in the doorway, not quite outside, yet not fully inside.

He stood there, and continued to reassess his life and all the events of the few days, and his mind wandered back to Lizzie and Gordo, back to twelve years ago, and he wondered what was going on with them.

Again, he tried to concentrate, to see if he could make out any more new memories, but his head was still cloudy and murky, and he could only see distorted, jumbled pictures. He thought he could still see them in her father's office, trying to get the radio to work again. But, he wasn't sure if that was really a new memory, or whether it was just a fantasy, a figment of his imagination.

He breathed in the cool air, then carefully backed himself up and closed the door. The quiet warmth of his house felt soothing after having being immersed in the chilly weather outside.

He looked outside the window at the falling rain, and then, suddenly, for a brief moment, he felt a sense of . . . elation.

It was a strange feeling, and it quickly disappeared, but he definitely felt it. For that split-second, he felt as if everything would turn out alright and that everything would eventually make sense.

He lips curled into a subtle smile, as hope and optimism began planting their seeds inside of him.

He didn't know why he felt that sense of elation, that sense of promise and hope. It didn't make sense, because right now, he did not know how anything was going to turn out. He didn't know whether Lizzie would live or die, he didn't know whether he would get together with her or not.

The only thing he was certain about was that he couldn't be certain about anything. Everything was still in limbo, in transition, awaiting something to happen to finally set the proper course of events in motion.

And he wondered, perhaps that was it. Perhaps he was finding freedom and liberation in not knowing what was going to happen next.

There was something exciting about the realization that the future, his life, was totally wide open and it was up to him to make it into the life he wanted to live.

Maybe, just maybe, no matter what happens, life is something worth living for, he thought to himself as he slowly walked back into his living room.

As he passed by his desk, his eyes caught a glance of the note that Lizzie had written to him, tonight, twelve years ago. He picked it up, and began to read it once more.

His eyes teared up as he re-read her loving, heartfelt words.

Dear David, if you're reading this letter, then it means everything you've said is true. I know I've been very skeptical tonight, but deep down, I knew both of you were telling the truth. I knew that you're David Gordon, my best friend in the whole world, because I could hear it in your voice, in your amazing, wonderful voice that I've known for almost all of my life. Even though my head was telling me no, my heart was telling me, yes, it is you. You're Gordo, my one and only Gordo.

With Love,

Lizzie McGuire

He clutched the letter to his chest, and silently thanked the Universe for giving him one more moment with her. Even if he were to never see her alive again, he understood the utter beauty and grace of all that was happening on this night, and he knew that things in life would be different from now on.

He was ready to begin his life again.

TO BE CONTINUED . . . .