A/N: Never fear, my lovely readers - there is much more to this tale!
"Sara?"
She turned at the sound of Warrick's voice, not bothering to release Gil's hand or get up from beside his hospital bed.
"Hey, Rick. What's going on?"
He stepped into the room and squeezed her shoulder. "That's supposed to be my line – how's he doing?"
She sighed. "He's sleeping – he regained consciousness in the chopper for a few minutes and was awake for his x-rays but otherwise, he's been asleep."
Warrick squeezed her shoulder again. "Rest is the best medicine for him right now, baby girl."
Sara lifted tear-filled eyes. "I just want him to wake up and talk to me."
"He will – after he's gotten some rest."
"Do you want to hold him?"
Gil looked down at the swaddled bundle in Sara's arms. "You had the baby? I have a son?"
Sara nodded, her eyes bright. "He looks just like you."
He grunted. "I hope not."
She giggled. "Come on, hold out your hands, Dad."
He reached out shaking hands and Sara gently placed the warm bundle in his arms. The baby opened his eyes and looked up at him, yawning.
Gil grinned. "He's beautiful, Sara."
"Isn't he?"
But suddenly the baby's form twisted and distorted in his arms, dissolving into sand that ran through his fingers, falling onto the ground.
"NO!" he cried as he struggled to hold onto the grains of sand that had once been his son. His grief overwhelmed him as he looked back up at Sara.
She was gone.
In her place was Natalie, holding a swaddled bundle and singing softly, "Rock-a-bye baby, in the treehouse. When the wind blows, the cradle will rock, when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby-" she dropped the bundle and it fell slowly to the ground, "cradle and all."
He screamed and ran to the swaddled bundle, turning it over in trembling hands.
It wasn't a baby.
It was a bisque doll.
"Where is he?" Gil screamed. "Where's my son? Where's Sara?"
Natalie stared back at him. "You're going to die out here."
The alarm on Grissom's heart monitor went off and Sara leaned over his bed, calling his name as a nurse rushed into the room.
"Stand back, please."
Warrick pulled Sara away as they watched the nurse check his vitals, and then she stepped back, shaking her head. "He's not having a medical emergency, though his heart rate and BP are elevated. If I was to offer an opinion, I'd say he's-"
"He's having a nightmare," Sara whispered as she stepped back to his side and gripped his good hand hard. "Gil! I need you to focus on my voice – you're having a nightmare – it's not real- Natalie can't hurt you anymore."
Grissom groaned in his sleep.
Sara leaned down to whisper in his ear. "Come on, Gilbert. Open your eyes and look at me. Come back to me – to us."
She felt her hand being squeezed at the same time his eyes fluttered open and locked onto hers. "Hi," she whispered, brushing damp locks back from his forehead. "Welcome back."
Warrick cleared his throat. "Yeah, Gris, it's good to see you."
Gil blinked rapidly a few times, before he swung his head in Warrick's direction. "Natalie?" he croaked out her name.
"We got her – she's at the station – she's not going anywhere – although-"
Sara straightened, tensing at the end of Warrick's sentence. "Although what? Don't tell me we can't hold her-"
"No, nothing like that. It's just – Brass and Nick told Natalie that we found you alive and she – well, she seemed to suffer some sort of nervous breakdown."
Gil sighed. "What happened?"
"Nicky told me she screamed for a long time, and then when she was done, she just stared into space, muttering under her breath. Dr. Rothum is coming to examine her, but last I heard she was still rocking and muttering."
"Muttering what?" Sara posed. "Anything intelligible?"
"The only words Nick could make out were 'rockabye baby'."
Sara felt the shudder run though Gil and she turned back to him in concern. Gil had gone even paler, and he was shaking slightly in the bed.
She sat beside him, reaching out to cup his sunburned cheek. "What is it, babe?"
"It wasn't a dream-"
"What wasn't a dream?" she pushed him gently to talk to her. "What do you remember?"
His haunted eyes met her worried ones. "All of it. I remember all of it."
Dr. Liesel Rothum, one of Vegas' finest minds and physicians regarding the criminally insane, exited the holding cell, slowly shaking her head. Behind her, Natalie sat curled in the fetal position on her cot, catatonic, rocking back and forth, unaware of the outside world.
"Tell me something good, Doc," Brass insisted, as the door clanged shut.
Dr. Liesel's blonde eyebrows rose high on her sculpted forehead. "Good? I do not think there is any good news to be found in a situation such as this, Captain Brass."
"Is she faking her condition?"
"No, definitely not. Natalie Davis has suffered a complete psychotic break. I hope that whatever information you hoped to gain, you got it – because it will be quite impossible to obtain now."
"Ever? She's going to be in this state for the rest of her life?"
"I am hopeful that with treatment, I can restore some of Natalie's brain function – but she will always be a deeply disturbed young woman-"
Nick snorted. "That's the understatement of the decade, Doc."
Dr. Liesel frowned. "Young man, do you understand that this woman is seriously ill? It has been my life's work to study and help men and women with all diagnoses of psychosis – and to find a woman with delusional psychosis is extremely rare. I want to help her if I can."
"You do realize that she's a serial killer? She's killed four people – kidnapped and attempted to murder a fifth, a CSI agent and personal friend of mine," Brass argued. "Insane or not, she needs to be locked away for everyone's safety – including her own."
"I understand that you need to do your job, but you must understand that I need to do mine as well. That woman in there," Dr. Liesel pointed back to the holding cell, "will never stand trial in her current mental state."
"Can you get her ready to stand trial?"
"I'm a medical professional whose goal is to provide medical treatment – not a lawyer prepping a client to stand before the jury box. I will start working with Natalie today. But I will not give you a timetable that neither she nor I can live up to."
"How about a best guess, in your medical opinion?"
Dr. Liesel sighed. "Based on research, case studies, and similar patients, you are looking at a possible recovery time of six months to six years."
Nick and Brass exchanged stares of disbelief.
"You've got to be kidding – isn't there some way to speed it up?"
"That is as good as it gets, gentlemen, and it is still just an educated guess. Natalie Davis will be sent to a mental facility for treatment – that is my professional recommendation. She is not mentally competent to stand trial for her crimes."
"I don't understand why one of us couldn't take Gil's statement." Sara pushed the fries around on her plate while Catherine frowned at her from across the table in the hospital cafeteria.
Warrick laughed. "You're a bit too close to the situation-"
"I'll concede that – but you or Catherine could have done it – why does Ecklie need to butt in?"
Catherine rolled her eyes. "Conrad needs to feel like the boss – and in his own way, he was concerned about Gil while he was missing."
Sara snorted. "Yeah, right."
"I know those two have their differences, and they don't see eye to eye on most things, and Conrad really doesn't like it when-"
"Did you have a point, Cath?" Warrick broke in, kicking her ankle under the table.
She glared at him. "Yes, at the end of the day, Conrad respects Gil. I think he even looks up to Gil, though he'll never admit it."
Sara shrugged her shoulders. "I just – I don't think Gil will be at ease with him like he would be with one of us-"
"You don't need to be relaxed for a debrief- it's just about the facts."
"Is it? I mean, this case was extremely personal to Gil from the start – and Natalie's entire motivation for taking him was to hurt me and our-"
Catherine made a shushing motion with her hand as Warrick frowned.
"Your what?" he questioned.
"Our relationship," Sara pivoted, and Catherine nodded in agreement. "Natalie stalked us, saw how close the two of us were and decided to tear us apart and make us hurt because she was hurt over losing Ernest. I don't see how Gil can get away from mentioning that to Conrad – it's part of 'the facts'."
"Maybe it's time to bring your relationship out in the open-" Warrick suggested as Catherine hit him on the back of the head. "Ouch – what was that for?"
"For being a man! Now is not the time – don't you see that?"
"No, I don't – why not?"
"Let's take a walk and I'll explain it to you-" Catherine grabbed his elbow and dragged him away from the table, leaving Sara alone and wondering what to do with her free time.
She fished her phone out of her pocket and called Dr. Nivers, waiting until she was available to come to the phone.
"Sara, this is a surprise. What can I do for you?"
"Well, I'm at Desert Palm – not for me, I'm ok. But I was wondering if you could order me some bloodwork – I need – I think I might be-"
"Sara." Dr. Nivers interrupted. "Do you think you might be pregnant?"
She swallowed and closed her eyes. "I do."
"Have you missed a cycle?"
"Yes, I'm over two weeks late."
"Hmm, that's not definitive."
"My breasts are tender, my appetite has doubled – sometimes tripled, and my sense of smell is in overdrive. There's someone across the cafeteria right now eating something with onions and drinking a coke and it's like they're sitting right across the table from me!"
Dr. Nivers laughed. "All right, based on those symptoms, I'll go ahead and order the blood test. But try not to get your hopes up, ok? I know you and Gil really want children but sometimes it just takes a while-"
"I know. When can I go to the lab?"
"Give it half an hour for the lab to receive the orders and then head on over to get your blood drawn. Good luck."
"Gil? Gilbert?"
Conrad was concerned about his colleague, the broken-down man in front of him lying propped up in the hospital bed. Gil seemed out of it, his narrative about what happened stopping and starting several times, as he groped for words, and his gaze fixed in the distance over Conrad's shoulder, seeing something that was visible only to him. Conrad was beginning to think that the man had a concussion that the doctors had missed and perhaps he should come back tomorrow, when Gil had had more time to rest.
"Grissom!"
Gil's eyes swung back to Conrad, and he started slightly. "I apologize for my lapses in attention, Conrad, but can we finish this tomorrow? I'm rather tired."
"Just a few more questions and I'll go."
Gil sighed. "Go ahead."
"Why did Natalie target you? Did she ever say?"
"She blamed me for Ernie's death – the man who raised her and who she loved as a father."
Conrad frowned. "But Ernest Dell shot himself – we all saw the video – and you saw it live."
"I did." Gil hesitated, wondering how he could satisfy Conrad's curiosity without betraying Natalie's complete motivation. "But you and I – all of us – are looking at this from a rational, logical point of view. To try and understand, we need to look at it from Natalie's point of view – someone who is suffering from delusional psychosis. Everything in her reality is warped, delusional – but it's her truth – it's the code she lives by. She blamed me for Ernie's death because I interrogated him and tried to pin the miniature killer murders on him – I persecuted him, in other words. When he died, it was a direct result of what I had done – therefore I had to be punished."
"That's – twisted."
Gil nodded, his head falling back into his pillow wearily. "I never should have let her get that close to me – when I saw her standing there on the sidewalk – I should have known it was her-"
"How could you have known?"
"Who else would it have been, Conrad?"
"You didn't have a physical description of her – you didn't know that she had been stalking you yet-"
Gil shook his head, closing his eyes. "I should have known."
"Catherine, can we speak privately for a moment?"
Conrad had exited the room to find Catherine, Warrick, and Sara seated in a group of chairs just down the hall. Sara frowned at the request but didn't linger as she stood and walked past him to Gil's room, Warrick in her wake.
"We're alone now – what is it? How did the debrief go?"
Conrad sank into an empty chair next to her and tried to smile but knew that it was coming out as a grimace since Catherine drew back from him in alarm.
"That bad? Doesn't he remember-"
"Oh, he remembers – but I know there are things he isn't telling me – and probably never will."
"With all due respect, you're not a member of our team. You're our boss, and Gil will always be guarded around you. One of us should have conducted the debrief."
"You are all too close to this and you know it, Willows." Conrad frowned. "But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about."
"It's not?"
"No. I'm putting you in temporary charge of the night shift, making you a full-time supervisor. Due to the nature of Grissom's injuries and his mental status-"
Catherine gasped. "His mental status? Really? He's just been through a traumatic experience – it's going to take him a minute or two to get back on his feet but there's no reason not to think that he won't be back to working in the lab in a couple of weeks."
He stood, looking down his nose at her. "I hope you're right. But until the doctors sign off that he is fit for duty, and I agree, you are in charge."
"Catherine, it's all right."
She deflated in relief as she stood at the end of Gil's bed. "You're not upset?"
Gil shook his head. "Do I look like I'm ready to lead the team in the field?"
"Maybe not tonight – but in a couple of weeks, I know you're going to be driving Sara crazy if all you're doing is sitting at home watching bug specials on National Geographic TV."
Sara laughed. "I prefer that to having live specimens in the fridge next to my yogurt-"
"Gross, Gris!" Warrick interjected. "I thought Nick and I housetrained you – after all, we explained about not keeping your experiments in the community fridge in the break room."
Gil managed a faint smile. "Yes, but that's been my personal fridge all my life-"
"And it's our fridge now-" Sara interrupted, leaning down to peck his cheek, continuing in a whisper. "We'll need to make room for other things soon."
"I could buy a mini-fridge for my office," Gil compromised.
Warrick whooped and Catherine shared a smile with Sara, as a nurse knocked on the open door. "Visiting hours are over – all of you will have to leave now."
Sara lingered as the other two wished Grissom a good night and left, but the nurse stared pointedly at Sara as she checked the IV drip.
"You too, miss."
Gil didn't release Sara's hand, and she squeezed it in reassurance. "Please let me stay a few more minutes. Just until he falls asleep?"
The nurse frowned. "I don't want to get in trouble- rules are rules."
Gil smiled, turning on the charm. "Surely an exception can be made for my wife?"
"All right – thirty minutes. No more." She marched out but turned back to smile at the tender scene before she closed the door behind her.
FIVE MONTHS AGO
"I love it, sweetheart."
Sara fidgeted on the rug in front of him, not sure if it was from nerves, or the heat from the roaring fire. They had managed to sneak away for Christmas this year, booking themselves into the executive suite in the Excalibur under false names – something that Gil had arranged for months in advance. The team was working New Years, so they all had the holiday off and both of them had left their phones at the townhouse, though Jim Brass knew where to find them in case of an actual emergency.
"Are you sure? I know that you have lots of textbooks on this subject-"
"But not the latest one! I had this on my wish list – thank you!"
His lips covered hers and for several minutes, conversation and gift giving were suspended as skin was revealed and Sara discovered that some things really are better done on a rug in front of a roaring fire. It wasn't until much later, when Sara was sated and sleepy in Gil's arms that she remembered she hadn't received her present.
Her eyes flew wide open, and she pushed him slightly away. "Where's my gift?" she demanded, her lower lip sticking out in a pout.
He grinned. "Oh, do you get a present too?"
"Hell, yeah – and don't you tell me that what we just did was it – because I want something more tangible – like the books I gave you. I know you got me something, Gil. You've been acting secretive for months now-"
"Well, you're going to have to wait until tomorrow for your actual presents-"
Her eyebrows rose. "Tomorrow? Why?"
"Because that's when it's happening – but I do have a question for you – and your answer heavily affects what happens tomorrow."
She pursed her lips. "Sound serious."
"It is. I am. Very serious."
Her heart began to beat faster in her chest. "Ok – what is it?"
Gil sat up, bringing her with him. He wrapped her up in the blanket, leaving him in just his boxers. Her breath caught as he dropped to his knees. "Sara Marie Sidle, will you marry me?"
"Are you serious?" she squeaked.
He nodded and waited.
She tapped her chin thoughtfully "The team is going to be really mad if we just go and elope without them-"
"Sara, this isn't about them – it's about us. We're trying to make a baby – start a family – and I don't want to do that without you by my side, as my wife."
She leaned in and cupped his face, her fingers rubbing the scruff on his cheeks. "We don't need a piece of paper, Gil. I love you – I'm not going anywhere."
He turned his head and dropped a kiss into her palm. "I know that – and I love you too. But I want to marry you – have kids with you –"
"Live the American dream?"
"Exactly."
"You realize if we do this, at some point, we will have to tell everyone – Ecklie – the top brass-"
"Did you want to keep us a secret forever?"
She shook her head. "No – but I like our privacy."
"Me too. But I love you more."
She dropped her hands and sighed. "Such a romantic you are tonight!"
"Do you like it?"
"I do."
"Is that a yes?"
"Don't you put words in my mouth, buster!"
He captured her hand and kissed it. "Sara Sidle, will you marry me – tomorrow?"
She gasped. "You - are a crazy man!" She tackled him and together they fell to the floor, covering each other with kisses and laughter. "But yes, I'll marry you tomorrow."
"So, we're telling the nursing staff about our marriage, but not our team?" Sara teased as soon as they were alone.
"I think our secret keeping days are numbered, Mrs. Grissom," Gil whispered as he tugged on her hand. "Come here, wife."
She shook her head. "Oh no, you're far too injured, that bed is far too small, and I may be carrying precious cargo-"
"Sara-" his voice broke. "Please. I need you."
A tear escaped as Sara sat next to him and waited while he scooted over as far as he could go on the narrow bed, and then she stretched out next to him, curling into his side.
"Please tell me if anything hurts- or if I accidentally-"
His lips brushed over hers. "You are all the medicine I need, Sara."
She sighed and rested her head on his uninjured shoulder. "This, OK?"
His only answer was a sigh, and she sneaked a glance up to see that his eyes were closed, his features relaxed. She slid a hand under her cheek, her own eyes growing heavy, as she felt his hand sneak down and caress her still flat stomach.
"Sara," he muttered, and she knew that he was almost asleep.
"I'm here," she whispered, turning her head to kiss his chest. "We're here."
He twitched and she made a shushing sound.
"Natalie's gone. The nightmare's over now, Gil."