A/N- hey this a joint chapter, me and psycho are doing it! YAY! Fun times! ENJOY!!


Draco's posse crept silently towards The Chamber of Secrets. They opened the door to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom and glanced around, they quickly ran to the sinks still looking around. Myrtle didn't like them, she said that Veronika reminded her of someone. Katora took her cigarette out of her mouth "I have a funny feeling." Vladamir turned around and his face paled even more, if that's possible, "Voh shiznet!" He said when he saw Myrtle.

"Uh, hi." Draco managed. Veronika, realizing how much she looked like daddy, ducked behind everyone else."Funny," Myrtle said to her "You remind me of someone."

"Erm... maybe Grandpa!" Veronika said

"Who's name was not Tom." Katora said

"And in no way a Riddle!" they finished together

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" Myrtle screeched and Vladamir went flying into the wall because of how loud her voice was, "Vwoah" he said before passing out.

"Angry ghost!" Crabbe cried and passed out.

"Wait!"Veronika yelled, Katora got the same thought. They looked at each other and smirked.

"You can't hurt us!" Katora said, Vladamir remained still and close to death. Myrtle replied "Oh maybe not physically, but I wonder what would the Gryffindors would think if they knew where you were going to skip their party!?"

They looked at each other and yelled "Oh shit!" and ran for The Chamber of Secrets, Goyle dragging Crabbe. Everyone forgot Vladamir, who was laying there close to death.

Katora finished her cigarette in one big puff and smiled, "Ah safe." she said in a breathy voice.

"Yes," Draco agreed, but then his eyes grew "Wait! Potter is a Parslemouth!!"

Everyone looked at each other "But Potter doesn't speak it anymore! Voldemort forbid a Gryffindor be scared of him!" Katora said rolling her eyes.

"But," Veronika continued holding up a finger "If the Gryffindors ask Potter, he'll be inclined to show off."

Everyone groaned "Well let's enjoy this as long as we can!" Draco said holding up the vodka. Everyone cheered, "Booty call!" Veronika and Katora screamed, tackling Draco. They grabbed the vodka and started to molest Draco. Not that he was complaining, "Look!" Katora screamed "A dark figure in the shadows!"

"All things in shadows are dark, because you know...... shadows are dark." Veronika said. She was a wee bit intoxicated, as was Katora who ran towards the dark figure. She missed and hit the wall. "Ow!! That smarts!" she yelled, then slid down the wall. Vladamir came out of the shadows "Vhat the Vuck(fuck) vis goin on?" he asked.

"That doesn't sound right." Katora muttered, she then brought her hand to her face "Well shit." her nose was bleeding.

"You aren't Russian!" Veronika yelled, pointing at 'Vladamir' accusingly.

"We sensed an uncoolness coming from you" Katora continued

"That's why we left you behind!" Veronika finished

"No you left me behind because you were scared!" 'Vladamir' said, now without the accent.

"But we left you because you're uncool." Veronika explained

"Who the bloody fuckin' hell are you and what did you do with our Russian lackey?!?!" Katora screamed choking 'Vladamir'.

"I aint tellin'!" he said

"He's a yank! Bloody hell, American's scared me!!" Veronika screamed and hid behind Draco, pinching his butt in the process.

Katora sat down on the American impostor's chest "Tell us." she said sweetly, while holding her burning cigarette inches from his forehead.

"I- well ya see, it's like this, I was hired to sorta keep an eye on you. By the Ministry peoples, they kinda wanted me to see if you was workin for that Vol-da-moret."

"HE SAID THE NAME!!!" they screamed trying to sound afraid.

"You can't fool mae!"he said

"Fine so we can't fool you!" Veronika said

"Where you from anyway?" Draco asked

"Yeah, like East Kentucky?" Katora asked

"Ahm from East Texas, you was close."

"But, and I know I'm not an expert, because you Americans are scary, but aren't Kentucky and Texas kinda far apart?" Veronika asked

"The south is the south. We're all kinda related, in spirit." he answered

"No they are not!" Katora yelled, everyone looked at her. "It's in blood! I heard about you inbreeder!" she screeched

"You should be in Hufflepuff!" Draco yelled at him

"Scary times!" Veronika yelled.

"Come, I been told to takes yous to the party."

"NOOOOOOOOOOO*pause for breath* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*breath* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*breath*OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*breath*OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!" they yelled, but Vladamir had already summoned Dumbledork. "Oh there you are! We missed you at the party, but don't worry there is still 3 h\whole hours left!" he said, trying to comfort them. They all passed out at the thought of spending 3 hours with Gryffindors.


A/N- sorry if we sound anti-American, but I (kittykat) am but that's okay, cause i am American. In fact i live in Florida, god i hate Florida. Oh well just let it be known that was a joking thing!

A/N-So, how did you like it? I don't care if you didn't. I'm all...pissed. The Crow, such a sad ending. But I didn't cry.

Kittykat: Yes she did!

Katora: NO I didn't!

Both: We leave you here