"Try to keep yourself awake; this life ain't like it was." Sound and Colour; Alabama Shakes

JIRAIYA WAS SO young. Kakashi couldn't remember ever seeing him this way, with his deep red lines only halfway down his cheeks. Tsunade carried a weight with her that was palpable and painful, but he did his best to ignore it. He knew that she wouldn't want it to be addressed.

Kakashi stared at Jiraiya plainly, knowing that at this point in time Jiraiya had yet to even reach his maximum potential. He wondered how good of friends he and his father were.

"Do we have any sake?" Tsunade spit out abruptly. Minato nodded and moved over to the cabinet to fetch her the drink and some saucers. She poured herself and Jiraiya glasses. It was battered and old looking, reminding Kakashi just how little help Minato had. With the huge amount of money he was making from missions, though, his threadbare apartment didn't quite make sense. Tsunade getting day-drunk made a lot of sense, though.

Shizune was prattling on about her latest mission to Kushina. It was a welcome interruption to the awkward silence that had been encompassing the small table.

The tea was beginning to cool. Kushina lazily pressed a hand to the kettle, smiling to herself when fresh steam poured out of the spout. She poured herself another cup and scowled when the water ran out. Shizune, who'd been regaling her with a tale of love and military success, paused.

"I'll get more water."

The young girl scampered off to the kitchen and Kushina's eyes slid over to Kakashi's. He looked away sheepishly.

"You're awful quiet over there, Kakashi-kun," she ribbed, reaching across the table to flick him on the nose. It stung. "Minato tells me that you've been growing like a weed. I heard that on your last mission you knocked out some strange civilian bandits by kicking clods of dirt at their heads!"

Kakashi nodded and smiled, genuinely proud of that maneuver. "It's part of a jutsu my father is teaching me."

"How is your old man these days," Jiraiya asked, leaning towards Kakashi. "I've been meaning to get a hold of him and take him out for some drinks."

Kakashi shrugged, took a sip of his tea as he deliberated how to respond. "My last few weeks have been hard on him, I think. But he's stopped taking so many reckless missions. I'm grateful for that."

Shizune returned to stand in the doorway as she waited for the water to boil. "Why the last few weeks?"

Shrewd as ever. "Just some personal stuff."

She narrowed her eyes but didn't ask further, disappearing back into the kitchen to fetch the water. Kakashi wondered absently why she was there, but didn't express this wonder out loud. .

Minato was prepping some tools off to the side, grinding a stone against some of his special kunai to keep them sharp. Tsunade down her fourth saucer of sake.

"So, cut to the chase kid. Foreign chakra in your system. What's up with that?" she asked, seeming annoyed that she was even there.

Kakashi paused, unsure how to proceed. "I don't know. I don't actually have all the details."

"Mind if I take a look?"

Kakashi's heart rate immediately ramped up and he felt his neck get hot. "I… now?"

"We can step in the other room, it's not a big deal. Minato can come."

Minato nodded and Kakashi swallowed. Shizune reappeared with the water and set it back down on the table as the man and child were exiting. "Where are they going?"

"With me, Shizune. Tell Jiraiya the rest of your story; I'm sure he'll be interested to hear all about it."

Minato led the two of them into his bedroom, where he laid Kakashi down at the foot of the bed. Kakashi distracted himself by studying the thick red comforter and the bursts of gold pattern covering it. He wondered what the thread-count was. Tsunade didn't say much to him, just gave him a bracing kind of look before she set to work. Her hands glowed green, lighting her face from below in an unflattering way. She looked sad and lost in that strange light and Kakashi quickly closed his eyes, unable to placate himself any longer.

He felt the warm, fuzzy feeling of her chakra entering into his system and raised his eyebrows. He both very much did and did not miss that sensation. He cracked open his left eye and watched her facial expression as she moved.

"You ever come into contact with a Hyuuga?" she murmured, lingering over some of his joints.

"Not that I'm aware– not in close combat anyway."

She grunted and shifted from his arms and into his gut. She frowned. Moved her chakra to his shins, checked out his feet. "No pain in your extremities?"

"Not currently."

She turned off her chakra and stood up, moving herself so that she was positioned above his head. "This is going to feel more uncomfortable. Don't mind me."

Her chakra buzzed close to his face and he felt it sink beneath the surface of his skin. This wasn't the usual healing chakra he was used to. It was seeking and probing and he didn't like it. He felt like bacteria in a strange petri dish.

"You've never had any work done here?" She had one of her hands on his left eye and the other over his neck. He fought to keep his heart rate under control.

"No, Tsunade-shisou."

He glanced at her face, noting the intense displeasure that rested in the corner of her eyes and the slantof her lips. Oops. The static-feeling of her chakra moved to his scalp and he could feel it in the center of his head. It was strange and uncomfortable. The paranoid part of him was almost certain she could hear the echo of his inner monologue and so he began to repeat the ninja by-laws to himself.

Minato shifted on the other side of the room, the floorboards creaking under his feet. Kakashi looked around for him but could only see the tops of the man's thighs in his field of vision. Tsunade's hands were still hovering at his scalp, stationary. Her thumbs looked like they were rolling invisible wheels and her eyes were lasered in on something he couldn't see. His internal dialogue was reduced to the repetitive thought that traitors were scum.

He felt her become still and the static of her chakra evaporated. He was torn between staying still and asking her what she'd found. "Did you find something? I thought genjutsu isn't supposed to affect the physical?"

"It's not."

He remained silent at that, unsure how to proceed. This was not how he had anticipated this day going. He felt violated, like he'd been bait and switched.

"Open your mouth."

He'd never felt medical chakra on his tongue before; it itched and he could feel every single tastebud individually as it passed through. He hoped he'd never have to experience it again.

"That's all I need from you," Tsunade said curtly, withdrawing her hands. Her face looked weary and tired, even for all the youth it possessed.

"Am I… is everything okay?" he asked tentatively, sitting up and pulling his mask into proper placement.

"I'd like to talk to your father to get a better understanding of what happened that day." Her voice was soft, concerned. "I'll pop by your house on Tuesday evening. Minato, are you still planning to accompany Kakashi to whirlpool?"

Kakashi turned to look at his sensei. Minato's sensei was not grim per se but it wasn't the kind of expression that spoke confidently of whatever was going on in Kakashi's body. When his sensei nodded, Kakashi found himself frustrated. He had known the man was coming but now it seemed the man's presence was a safety measure. Did they not trust him?

"Sensei, what's going on? I may be young, but this isn't… What's wrong? You both look so serious."

Tsunade sighed and Minato looked to her for guidance. When she felt his gaze she nodded slightly and fixed Kakashi with a serious expression. "We will have this discussion with your father. If you want we can go now, if you're sure he's home. Or I can come by to visit on Tuesday."

Kakashi knew that it would do him no good to wait. He would only fester and be eaten up with worry. "Tonight."

"Alright. I'll be by right after this. You may want to go find your father and make sure he's available for us to meet or it will have to wait until Tuesday anyway," Minato said, flashing him with a reassuring grin. "Everything is fine Kakashi, it's just not the news I was hoping to hear. We can talk more about this later tonight, just go find your dad."

He nodded and moved to the window, ready to jump out. Minato made a sound of distress and Kakashi looked up in surprise as Minato quickly dismantled a trap that the boy had been too distressed to see. He should have known that the Jonin would have booby-trapped his room. It took a moment for his teacher to undo the elaborate trap he'd set up.

"I didn't take you for the paranoid type, sensei," he murmured dryly.

"I'm not."

The two looked at each other and Kakashi felt vaguely uncomfortable with how little control he had in this time period. There were a great number of variables he'd not been aware of that he subsequently had zero control over. He made a mental note to meditate on these facts when he was hanging out in his little underground bunker where he could properly walk around in his mind.

"Well… thanks, sensei. I'll see you later, I guess. Thank you Tsunade-shishou. I'm sorry we're not meeting under better circumstances."

The two blondes inclined their heads to him and he vanished out the window.

Fly; Ludovico Einaudi

HE'D HAD TO check a few different places before he finally found his father at Secondhand Scrolls, the bookstore he and his father frequented. His dad was standing in the stacks with a stack of books and scrolls tucked under a well-muscled arm.

Kakashi felt his tummy do a little wobble when he saw that his dad had already selected some texts for him to study. "Dad?"

"Shinme! I thought you were getting lunch with your sensei today?"

He paused, unsure of what to say. His father's brows knit together as he realized something was wrong.

"What happened?"

"I… they need to see you tonight. Are you free?"

"I'll make myself available. Who needs to see me?" Sakumo's expression was dark with worry that Kakashi had never in the past seen directed toward him and what was going on in his life. It was both welcome and worrisome. Part of him would have rathered his father be upset with missions and the village instead of focusing on him at this moment.

"Ah. Uhm, Minato brought Tsunade-shisou to give me a medical exam. He had concerns. Now that she did the exam he seems to have more concerns and doesn't want to talk to me about it until you're there. I think they're under the impression I won't understand." He couldn't help the bitter tone that crept in.

"I hardly think it's that you won't understand, kiddo," Sakumo said, ruffling his hair. "Interesting. Let's get home."

Sakumo dropped the books off at the counter, telling Shiori that he had to run. He placed his hand over hers, asking her to hold onto them for him. She burned a deep red and nodded quickly that she would take care of that for him.

Before he knew it, they were home and Sakumo was running a bath for him. Kakashi sat on the toilet as the water crashed into the basin. His father moved quickly, dumping herbal mixes and soaps into the water. Within moments the air was filled with calming fragrances.

Sakumo didn't say anything to him, moving towards him and lifting his hands as he pulled off his son's shirt. Kakashi couldn't find it in him to feel embarrassed as he shucked his clothes and slipped into the warm water. His dad scrubbed at his hair and began singing an old folk song that he'd never heard before.

It told the tale of an old farmer, body tired from working in the fields. He came home to his wife and kids and was happy for the work he'd done. It didn't have a lesson to it or even any lyrical genius, but it was comforting if for no other reason than his father was the one singing.

"I'm gonna go put some tea on and send out for some food so we can feed our guests properly. Is Jiraiya coming, too? No matter, he'll probably come. Orochimaru, too. Both of them…. They follow Tsunade around like puppies. I'll be back soon, Shinme."

Left alone to his own thoughts, Kakashi could not ignore the dread in his stomach. Orochimaru, despite being 'loyal' to Konoha at this point was not someone he wanted to see– especially in response to his current dilemma. He wasn't sure what it was that Tsunade had found in his body. The fact that she'd hovered over the area where he used to have the Sharingan was especially alarming, but he wasn't even sure how she'd know about that. Her question about a Hyuuga had really thrown him for a loop.

He was mentally retracing the entire encounter when his father reappeared with towels and comfortable robes. They were traditional. How long had it been since they'd had a proper clan dinner? Probably since his mother had passed. Kakashi couldn't remember her face without the help of a picture.

It was a blur of motion, getting ready for the dinner. His father set a clone to clean and straighten up the home and then another to set the table when a different clone returned with food. Kakashi had just pulled his robes on and wandered into the area when Minato and the rest of the company arrived.

Tsunade and Jiraiya followed Minato through the door and Kakashi let out a breath of relief which didn't go unnoticed by Tsunade's shrewd gaze. Jiraiya was especially happy to see Sakumo, clapping him on the back in a hug. He'd brought enough sake to get fifteen people drunk. A promising sign. Tsunade was still a bit drunk from earlier, though, so perhaps there would be some left over for him after.

"Good to see you, Sakumo-kun," Tsunade said, bowing deep enough for the man to see her ample cleavage. Kakashi cringed. This was not something that he'd ever considered.

Sakumo merely laughed and winked at the girl, telling her she looked great as always. It occurred to Kakashi that his dad must have been a popular and eligible bachelor. Jiraiya looked positively annoyed at that very truth right now. "Where is Orochimaru? I was expecting him to be here."

"Ah, he's been working strange hours lately. He's not available this evening," Jiraiya said smoothly. He'd already kicked off his sandals and was sitting saiza at the low table. He busied himself by pouring glasses of sake for everyone present.

"Are you expecting my son to drink?"

"Ah, pardon." Jiraiya laughed and downed the extra sake. "I see you've prepared dinner- what did you get? Smells great."

"Maa, the usual. You know how we used to eat back then."

Kakashi stared at his lap, unsure how to proceed. He supposed that it was good that Orochimaru was not here. He was still loyal to Konoha, as far as anyone knew. He knew that the Snake Sannin had most definitely been working with Danzo at some point in the past; it was the only reason Tenzo could use Mokuton and it was what had allowed Danzo to be made mighty with Sharingan that were not his.

He'd not accounted for his father's relationship with the Sannin, though. He'd known they'd come into contact but he hadn't accounted for the potential for old war stories.

As though he could hear his thoughts, Jiraiya spoke. "Your dad used to be quite the war dog, Kakashi-chan!"

"Was? I still am. You just haven't seen it lately," Sakumo laughed, throwing back a saucer of drink. "But as nice as it is to reminisce, I have to ask… What is it that has you so bothered, Tsunade? Is my son alright?"

Tsunade emptied her saucer, tilting her head to the side as she regarded it. Annoyed with its empty state, she picked up the bottle of sake and took a swig. "Well, Sakumo… Give me some more information on whatever it is that landed him in the hospital. Let's start there so I can amend my worry and see if it's appropriate."

Sakumo glanced at Kakashi and he felt his chest tighten with worry. "Well… He was screaming unlike anything I've ever heard in my life. I've never heard someone scream like that. I thought he was dying. But when I walked into his room, he was just thrashing about and having a said some very out of character things– even assured me how deeply he loved me. Strange stuff for a six year old. I thought that it was just because he'd taken the Chunin exams– I thought maybe, worst case scenario, someone had used a horrible genjutsu on him and he was having a nightmare because of that. He asked to come sleep in my bed with me that night. He was supposed to have a group training exercise with you the next morning, Minato-kun. Then I woke him up as I usually do and he seemed so confused and not at all like himself. It was like a different person at that moment. He was swearing and so strange and I… I lost my temper and I smacked him."

Kakashi had forgotten about that. He watched as his father's facial expression soured, darkening.

"I thought… I thought I had broken him. I thought it was me. It wasn't until the hospital ninja told me he had foreign chakra in his system that I knew it wasn't me." His voice was tight and painful like a cello strung too tight. "They said that it seemed like a combination of genjutsu and some sort of attack that caused him to be in such a bad state that they put him in a medically induced coma."

"That's all they said?" Tsunade inquired, face carefully set.

"Yeah. I wasn't given a whole lot of details but I'm just glad that my son is back to normal," Sakumo said stiffly, his hands fisted on his thighs.

Minato set his hand in front of Sakumo and cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Sakumo-san, there are some concerns."

"Don't be so formal with me, boy," Sakumo snapped. "I've already told you what you are to me."

Minato withered a little, and Jiraiya put a hand on his back. "Don't be cruel, Sakumo. This is an awkward enough conversation already."

Tsunade cut in before things could get uncomfortable. "I have reason to believe that this is not your son."

Kakashi's stomach squirmed and he felt ready to vomit. He was caught.

"You had better have good reason to tell me that, woman."

The air was frigid and wrought with rage. Tsunade sighed and sat down the bottle.

"Sakumo, it's all written out for you. His DNA matched, sure. His body is technically the same but I compared what I saw earlier to the records at the hospital. He had sustained a litany of injuries that just don't match up. There's bizarre scarring and damage and his bones are covered with dense areas that mean he broke them and they healed over. You aren't the only one who's noticed the behavior change." Tsunade glanced at Kakashi and he stared at her in actual shock. Jiraiya appeared calm, but the rate at which he was sipping his drink showed he was soothing his nerves. Minato decidedly averted his gaze when he noticed Kakashi looking at him. It felt like an invisible cord between them shattered, but Kakashi was unable to muster up any tears. His body was frozen.

"This isn't uncommon, despite the disturbing nature of what we're discussing. Minato is trying to get to the bottom of a pandemic that some of our leaders are ignoring. The timing is perfect– children die and disappear in war all the time." Her voice was hard and angry. Kakashi knew intuitively she had to be talking about Danzo. " We believe we know who is responsible for it. But we did want to give Kakashi a chance to respond in the event that there is another explanation for this."

Sakumo sighed and looked at Kakashi. He seemed twenty years older. "I know he's my son. He's messed up and different and I don't know who he is. But he's my son. He still has the tiny scar on the back of his ear from where one of my ninken was a little rough with him when he was just a baby. It's my son. He's my son."

Tsunade sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "That's all well and good, but it actually opens another can of worms. We still don't know what has happened to him. It's impossible– something is still very wrong and we need to get to the bottom of it. How do we account for the drastic change in his behaviour? His physique and the damage history? We're not accusing you of maiming him– we're coming to you because we don't know what's wrong. If this is Kakashi… something terribly wrong has been happening this last year and it's very possible that the same issue is ongoing–just not the way we thought."

"What are you talking about?"

"Is anyone going to ask me what I think, or are we going to pretend I'm not here?" Kakashi demanded in a monotone voice. What to do? It hurt that Minato had not vouched for him or expressed certainty of his character at any turn. He could easily lay it all out and share where he was actually from. Or he could play the hand he was dealt as though he was actually just a lost six year old. He just wasn't sure what had the better long term pay off- playing it safe and trying to keep things consistent or moving in boldness and throwing his cards on the table and effecting as much change as possible early on.

"Do you have anything valuable to add here, kid?" Tsunade laughed, taking another swig. "Please enlighten me."

He considered spilling all of the details right then and there. But if he did, he knew that his relationship with Minato would never be the same. Any illusions of normalcy would wither and fade and he'd be left with only himself as company. But if he tried to stay the course and maintain the facade it could all crumble so terribly fast. Kakashi threaded his fingers together in his lap as he deliberated.

When he looked up, he caught Minato's gaze and his heart softened a fraction when he realized the depth of torment the seventeen year old was in. There was truly no right answer for the other child to make. As Kakashi considered the weight of war, he realized that it wasn't his place to decide who and what to protect. War was already on the horizon to take as many prisoners as it could. And he had a responsibility to the future and its inhabitants just as much as he did to the people in the past.

A/N:

What a slog to write. This took so long because it was difficult to write. Not sure how I feel about it. I also know how this is going to go. Let me know what you think or what you're expecting. Please review, y'all! :D