Chapter Two

"I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I can't do much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel."
-Papa Roach

Note: This is so completely non-canon that it stuns me. I'm talking seriously…Elrond dies!!!! He's not supposed to do that!! So, don't anyone even think about flaming me for it.

>>>>>>>>

Erestor opened Glorfindel's door and immediately caught a whiff of the acrid smell of blood. His gaze dropped to the floor. He could easily make out the drops of blood leading either two or away from the bathroom. Lying on the floor near the bathroom door was a bloody dagger. It was, Erestor recalled, the same dagger that Glorfindel had threatened him with the previous night. "Oh, Glorfindel, what have you done?" he murmured. He could see Glorfindel's form on the bed and walked over.

Glorfindel was breathing, Erestor noticed at once. That, at least, was good. Gently, trying not to wake Glorfindel, Erestor surveyed Glorfindel's body. His eyes caught on the bandage wrapped tightly around Glorfindel's left forearm. "How could you do this to yourself, mellon-nin?" asked Erestor. He had known that Glorfindel was grieving, but if he had known how bad it really was, he would not have left last night, no matter the threat that Glorfindel gave.

He was so lost in his thoughts of what should have and could have been that when the first clap of thunder came, he jumped. Looking out the window, he saw that the skies had grown dark and stormy. Vicious rain began to pelt against the windows and Erestor could gauge the force of the wind by the way the trees were tossed this way and that. Sitting beside Glorfindel, he wished that he knew what to do. He had known Glorfindel and Elrond forever, and it hurt him more than anyone knew to see Glorfindel like this. He had rejoiced when they became lovers, for both had lost too much in their lives. They had finally both been happy.

"Elrond?" murmured Glorfindel, rolling over and beginning to wake up.

"No, mellon, tis I, Erestor."

Glorfindel turned back away. "Erestor, I don't know what to do."

Erestor knew better than to recriminate Glorfindel for what he had done. There was no need to sink Glorfindel deeper into depression. But it had to be mentioned, and Erestor had to know if Glorfindel intended to do it again. "Do I have to take away all your weapons, mellon? I don't want you to be able to hurt yourself. Its for your own good."

"Yes…you probably should." Glorfindel knew that Erestor was looking out for him and was glad for that. He knew that he needed someone to do that for him. "I'm sorry…I know I shouldn't have…"

"Don't worry about it, Glorfindel. Did you clean it? Disinfect it? Because if you didn't, then I'm going to do it for you."

"Just leave me, Erestor."

"I'm afraid that I can't do that." He had been walking around the room, collecting the various weapons that Glorfindel owned. Lastly was the bloody knife. Balancing the bundle in his arms, he said, "I'm going to go put these somewhere you won't find them. And then I'm going to come back and we're going to talk. Okay?"

Glorfindel nodded. "Can you bring some food with you?"

"Of course." As Erestor left, a bright flash of lightning illuminated the dark room. It showed the worry and concern on Erestor's face, the sorrow in his eyes and the grief in the lines of his face and posture. There was, though, a flicker of hope in his face, a knowledge that life would go on and that someday everything would go back to normal. All that the lightning showed on Glorfindel was an utterly overwhelming despair, a knowledge that life had ended and nothing would bring it back. They both heard a crack as the lightning struck a tree. Another life had been ended.

Erestor didn't know how to help Glorfindel. Or at least not without making it sound like he was upset with Glorfindel. Glorfindel was his best friend and Erestor couldn't stand to see him hurt like this. Finding some of Glorfindel's favorite sweets (and making carefully sure that there were no foods that Elrond adored), and placing them on a tray, he walked up to Glorfindel's room.

"Glorfindel," he said as he walked in. "I have some food for you."

"Not hungry," said Glorfindel, who was still lying in bed.

"You have to eat," said Erestor, setting the food down on a table and walking over to the bed. He sat by Glorfindel, stroking the golden hair gently. "Things won't get better if you just lie here, mellon."

"Things won't get better if I do anything, Erestor," said Glorfindel in a dull voice. "Nothing is ever going to be right again."

"Please eat." Erestor sighed. "And have you cleaned out your…arm?" Erestor wasn't sure how to phrase it so it didn't sound judgmental. He looked over the bandage again and saw some faint traces of red. Was the thing still bleeding? "Can I please see it?"

"I don't need you to…judge me."

"You're my best friend. I'm here to help you, and if you don't want my help, then I'm here to stay with you to try and make your life livable again."

Glorfindel pulled away from Erestor, but Erestor was fed up with this. He wrapped an arm around Glorfindel's waist and held him still. "I'm going to explain a couple of things to you, Glorfindel, and I don't want you going anywhere while I do. First off, I am here for you. I don't care when or for what, if you ever need me, I will stop whatever I am doing and come to your side. Secondly, you aren't getting anything sharp in your presence when you are alone until I say so. Thirdly, every time you start thinking about whatever it was you were thinking about last night, I want you to come and talk to me."

"I just want to die."

Another crash of thunder.

"Do you honestly think that Elrond would want you to give up on life?"

Glorfindel honestly considered the question. Elrond had always been so vibrantly alive. No matter how bad things got, Elrond remained optimistic and determined. Oh yes, he did get angry, but he never gave up hope that things would eventually get better. And that was what had gotten him killed. He told Erestor as much, and Erestor laughed at him.

"Glorfindel, my dearest friend, you have been by Elrond's side for the past millennia, but you have missed so much!"

Glorfindel was hurt. He attempted to move away from Erestor, but Erestor wouldn't let go. "I loved him!"

"I never said you didn't. Elrond always believed in living every day like it was his last. You, you're lying there, acting as though you were already dead. You can remember him better if you…not necessarily move on, but if you at least pretend that there is some point in living."

"There is no point in living."

"I said pretend. Do you think you can pretend?"

Glorfindel sighed. "Don't play your mind games with me, Erestor. Elrond may have liked them, but they drive me insane. Very well. I will pretend to be happy, I will pretend that nothing is wrong."

Erestor knew that that was going to be very hard for Glorfindel. "And I will be there for you. I want you to know that. Now let me see your arm." He had to see how bad it was, though by the amount of blood he had so far seen around the room, it had been quite bad." He grabbed for Glorfindel's arm. Glorfindel made no protest.

Erestor closed his eyes when he saw how bad it truly was. Biting his lip and tasting blood of his own, he said, "Glorfindel…" He trailed off. There was nothing he could say that wouldn't sound judgmental and nothing that he could say without screaming at Glorfindel. So he would say nothing.

"I know its bad, Erestor. You don't have to tell me that. And I know you don't approve of it…"

"Glorfindel," said Erestor, switching topics until he could think of something suitable to say regarding Glorfindel's arm, "you promised to pretend to act normally, and that means you will have to eat."

With a sigh, Glorfindel sat up, as Erestor freed him, and walked over to the food. "Who is running Imladris right now?" asked Glorfindel after a few moments.

Erestor stood and walked over to stand beside the taller elf. "I am, or at least I'm trying. There's so much to be done."

Glorfindel smiled. "Elrond was a genius." He turned to Erestor and embraced him tightly. "I miss him so much already. Every time I do anything, I always turn to see Elrond do it with me, and he's never there. He's gone Erestor. Nothing will ever bring him back." He was sobbing by now.

"I know. I mourn him, too. I know that it will never be in the same way or to the same extent that you do, but I mourn. But we will make it through this, Glorfindel. I swear to you that we will find some way to make it through this."

The two elves sat down, still touching, still both needing the warm reassurance of another elf that cared. They sat in comfortable silence, each occasionally taking a piece of food. Glorfindel's arm was wrapped casually around Erestor's shoulders and Erestor's head was resting lightly on Glorfindel's shoulder, his arm around Glorfindel's waist.

They didn't notice that the storm had stopped. Slowly, the rain dissipated and the wind died down. The clouds began to part, and a few scant rays of sunlight made their way to the ground. Elves once again began to emerge outside. None minded the occasional inconvenience of a thunderstorm, the rain provided needed nourishment for all of Imladris. And once the storm was over, everything seemed a little brighter for the brief spell of darkness.
.

Please review!! Trying to juggle three stories at once, and I won't continue this one unless i get some feedback