Wow! I've not updated this in a long while! I am really sorry, the fic is based on another site and I kept updating there (I think to about Chapter 10) and then realised I'd not done the same here for ages! I do apologise, but I hope you can forgive me and find it in your hearts to leave me some reviews :D

Thanks again for being so patient, and in case you were wondering, no I don't own them ...

While You Were Sleeping

Part 6



"Monica. Monica"

The word meant nothing to her now. She wasn't Monica. She could never be Monica again. To all the world she was a killer. To her own mind she was a killer.

But are you?

No matter what she did those three words kept reverberating around her mind. No matter how much she thought it couldn't possibly be here there was still that doubt that told her it might have been. That told her she could never be sure. And until then there was nothing she could do but wait. And sleep.

"Monica, it's Ross"

"Ross?"

"Monica I need to speak to you. Now"

Monica sat up then. She had to. There was something in his voice that told her she needed to hear what he had to say. She needed to know. Staring up at him Monica was suddenly aware of the bags under his eyes and the five o'clock shadow no turning towards six. With a jolt she realised she wasn't the only one affected by this. He was worried too. But, she thought with a flash of resentment, at least he knew how they were. At least he could see them. The anger she had tried to repel suddenly came back with vengeance.

"What is it Ross?"

Monica noticed him taking a breath, the way he always did before he had something important or hard, to tell her.

"Dad's found you a lawyer in Manhattan. He's coming to see you first thing tomorrow. Until then he says not to worry. You've not been arrested yet. He's sure this will all blow over"

Monica wasn't so sure. Before she could speak Ross continued.

"Until everyone wakes up there's no proof it was you"

"Until?" Monica sat bolt upright, he had said until they were awake. That meant they couldn't be dead. They couldn't be!

"Yeah, Rachel's still sedated until they can control her blood loss. Chandler's sedated until after the surgery and, well, Phoebe and Joey don't look good"

Monica felt her heart catch in her chest. They were still alive, at least for now. No matter what had happened her friends were still alive, and that had to count for something. Sitting there on the hard plastic chair Monica felt her spirits lift for the first time in days. They were alive. And that meant soon she would know, soon she'd know whether or not she had caused their suffering.

She would know if she had been with them, or if she had been sleeping.

Monica didn't know which was worse. Each brought with it guilt and suffering of it's own. For each Monica knew she would never forgive herself.

Never.