Chapter 5

Erestor woke up with an incredible pain in his neck and back. He made a mental note to never sleep in a chair again. Unfolding his twisted limbs, he cautiously stood up, staggering a little as his legs regained feeling again. He stretched, hoping to relax his muscles, but that only made the pain worse. Grimacing and muttering a curse under his breath, he resumed his walk. Slowly, his muscles began to unwind. It was nothing like better, but it was a lot closer. Only now did he pay any care to Glorfindel, who was still sleeping soundly. Glorfindel had curled up on his side in the bed and was clutching the blankets tightly in both hands.

Erestor sat on the edge of the bed and laid a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder. Shaking Glorfindel slightly, he said, "Mellon? It's time to wake up."

With much difficulty and incoherent mumbling, Glorfindel opened his eyes and looked at Erestor. "Can't I just sleep?" He half sat up, lying down just enough to ensure that he would be able to fall asleep in seconds again if he won this conversation.

Erestor wanted desperately to say yes, that he would watch over Glorfindel while he slept. He knew he couldn't, though, and so he said, "It really would be better if you did get up." Erestor slipped his arm around Glorfindel's shoulders. "We have to start getting things in order around here. I need your help."

Glorfindel wrapped himself around Erestor, pulling Erestor down into a lying position. "I can't handle it today…"

"That's what you say every day. Now, come on. You have to get up and come with me. There's work to be done." Reluctantly, he freed himself from Glorfindel's arms and stood up, running a hand through his hair. It would be wonderful to get a bath and change his clothes, but he wasn't sure whether he trusted Glorfindel enough to let him stay here alone, even in the healing ward. Glorfindel could be cunning when he put his mind to it. After all, hadn't he gotten a dagger past Erestor?

Glorfindel sat up and hung his head. "I…you're angry with me, aren't you, Erestor?"

Erestor shook his head. "Of course not, Glorfindel. Why would I be angry with you?"

"I've caused you so much trouble…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done everything that I've done. I should be in more control." Glorfindel straightened up and looked Erestor in the eye. "I swear, on my love for Elrond, that I will never try to hurt myself again. I will stop being a bother to you." Glorfindel cast his eyes down on the sheets again, ashamed at what he had put his friend through.

"You're not a bother to me at all." Indeed, thought Erestor, it was only through dedicating so much of my time to you that I realized how much I care about you. "It's just been a long few days, that's all." Isn't that the truth?!

Glorfindel frowned, realizing something. "You mourned him as deeply as I, didn't you?"

Erestor frowned. "Probably not, Glorfindel. He was your lover. I was his best friend. I mourned Elrond, I still do for that matter, but I doubt that it goes as deep as yours did." Erestor shook his head slightly; somehow he doubted that his mourning for Elrond had actually been any less than Glorfindel's. It was just that Erestor had long ago learned how to bundle up emotions and shield them, conceal them, from the rest of the world. It was the only way he had survived as long as he had. "So, are you going to get up or am I going to have to drag you?"

Glorfindel involuntarily smiled. Then he realized what he was doing and smiled even more broadly. It had been a long time since there was anything to smile about. He had thought that any happiness on his part would somehow indicate faithlessness to Elrond. Now he saw, though, that Elrond would not have wanted him to be miserable all the time. Elrond wouldn't have done any of this if Glorfindel had died. At least Glorfindel didn't think so. Elrond just didn't seem the type. Now Glorfindel realized that he was thinking about Elrond without even getting really upset. He supposed that this meant he was getting over the whole mourning process. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up. Yawning and stretching his arms above his head, he said, "I suppose I shall get up. I will make only one request."

"I'm listening."

"Can I bathe before we do anything else today. And I need some fresh clothes." Glorfindel smiled again. "I assure you that I will not do anything to hurt myself. I made that oath, and I will not break it."

"I do not doubt you, mellon-nin. I suppose I shall offer you a small measure of trust. I could do with some clean clothes as well. Very well, I propose that we bathe and change and then meet back here in…say an hour. Is that sufficient time for the Lord Glorfindel to ready himself?"

Glorfindel smiled at Erestor's mocking of his grooming habits. Elrond had often joked with him about it as well, oftentimes in Erestor's presence. Sighing theatrically, he said, "I suppose I can manage it in an hour. Though don't be surprised if I am late."

Erestor grinned broadly. Something had broken Glorfindel out of his depressive mood. Erestor was not sure what it was, but he was not complaining. The only thing that he could see as annoying was that Glorfindel would no longer be relying on him for everything. Somehow, it made their relationship closer without Erestor having to do much. Erestor was smart enough to know not to try anything with Glorfindel; Elrond was only just dead. To do anything with Glorfindel would be disrespectful to Elrond's memory.

Shaking his head at the sudden change in Glorfindel's behavior, Erestor left the healing ward and headed for his room. What he would love right now was a long cleansing bath. The only thing that Erestor could imagine would make it even slightly better would be if Glorfindel was there as well. Erestor mentally chastised himself for this thought. Glorfindel would not be interested even if Erestor offered. Erestor knew that he had to be intelligent about this. If he ever wanted to be more to Glorfindel than just a friend, he couldn't rush things.

As he walked down the halls, everything seemed to be somehow more alive. It could have been that the sun was shining, really shining, for the first time since the news had come back. It added a radiant glow to everything where there had been none before. Erestor somehow didn't think that that was the reason. Or at least not the whole reason. There was a deeper something in play here. Elrond had been Imladris's master, and Imladris had, strange as it seemed, responded, in a way, to Elrond's moods. When Elrond was grouchy, the weather was bad. When Elrond was elated, the weather could not be better.

Thinking of the connection between Elrond and Imladris forced Erestor to think of Vilya. Fortunately, the orcs hadn't taken it from Elrond's corpse. Erestor was not enough of a fool to allow the ring to be buried with Elrond. Right now, it sat in a box in Erestor's room. Erestor knew that someone would have to take ownership of him; most likely it would end up being either himself or Glorfindel. Erestor wasn't sure that he wanted the burden of that much responsibility, but he wasn't sure that Glorfindel was capable of handling it. At least not yet.

Erestor sighed and dismissed these troubling thoughts. They could wait another day or so. Right now he should be rejoicing in the change of the weather and Glorfindel's sudden sanity. So he decided to let go, to relax. Today would be a good day; the first one of its kind since the terrible news. Involuntarily, the memory of having found out assaulted his mind and he had to lean against the wall for strength.

The elf burst into the room. The first thing that Erestor noticed was the pale, ghost-like face of the elf. Then he saw the tear-trails down the elf's face. That was when he knew something was dreadfully wrong. "What is it?" he asked, managing to control his voice.

The elf had been unable to find his voice for several moments. Finally, he managed to say, "It's the Lord Elrond…he…he was…was…killed…"

Erestor consciously stopped the memory from playing through in his head. Later, he could deal with purging those thoughts from his head. Right now, though, he reminded himself, was a time for happiness, not dwelling on sore memories and miserable feelings. Stepping away from the wall, he entered his room.

Glorfindel didn't know what had brought about such a change in his mood. There was no reason he could cite. It was just that when he had woken up this morning, it had seemed that there was nothing anymore that he need be worried about. It was curious, but he even felt that his past actions and mourning had been stupid. He knew that they were not, but it proved to him, somehow, that he was starting to get over Elrond's death. He knew that it would be a long process. He was willing to face it, though, now, in a way that he had not been able to before this morning. He was willing to look ahead, not behind. The burden had mysteriously been lifted from his shoulder. If he had not been an almost avowed atheist (apart from the fact that yes, he had met Mandos), he would have thought that the Valar had something to do with it. Or Elrond, at least, reaching out from the Halls of Waiting. Though he was relatively sure such things could not happen.

Smiling at allowing himself these idle musings, something Elrond had long ago strictly forbade him from doing, he entered his room. Looking around, he saw how empty he was. All the missing objects, he realized, were things that reminded him of Elrond. Now he decided that it was stupid for him to have removed them. All the things that reminded him of Elrond were all cherished memories. Now that he was over the worst part of his grief, he felt that it might be time to return them to their places. Maybe he could even convince Erestor to let him have his weapons back.

His thoughts fell once more on the dark-haired elf. In many regards, Erestor resembled Elrond, both mentally and physically. Glorfindel remembered that when he had first met them, he was certain that they were lovers. It had taken a surprisingly large amount of reassurance from both of them that there was only friendship between them. Glorfindel had never been sure, but he felt that there had been at least a little love on Erestor's part. He had never questioned Erestor about it; as long as Erestor never made a move on Elrond, it was none of Glorfindel's business, really. For the first time, he believed that he was going to get to know the real Erestor. He had the feeling that before this time, all he had ever known was the shielded Erestor. Glorfindel wanted to know why Erestor shielded himself, and found himself curiously wondering how difficult it would be to break that shield down.

For some reason, Glorfindel thought about the fact that he was not sure that Erestor had ever had a lover, male or female. It could have just been that Erestor was very secretive about his personal life, but Elrond knew more about Erestor than he did, and Glorfindel was sure that Erestor would have confided in them if he took a lover. Glorfindel couldn't imagine why Erestor would have never taken a lover. There was nothing unappealing about Erestor at all. Though Erestor had a sharp tongue, Glorfindel could remember numerous moments of tenderness.

Glorfindel frowned at himself. He had never thought about Erestor this way before. It was strangely disturbing. It was almost as though he was falling for Erestor…no, you aren't. You can't, he told himself. He found himself wondering why not.

"I just want them both to be happy."

"I am doing what I can. And you're helping, too. You're helping Glorfindel to realize that it's okay to get over you, that he doesn't have to spend every waking moment on dwelling on you." Mandos looked at Elrond and smiled. Elrond was a pet project of his; Mandos had gone out of his way to make Elrond's life bearable as he had known Elrond's eventual fate.

"I never knew that Erestor loved me. How could I have been so blind?"

"He was not for you, Elrond."

"Do you think that they could be happy together?"

"That's why we're doing what we can for them. Erestor's love will help Glorfindel to move on with his life. Glorfindel's love will help Erestor to become the elf that he is deep down. You hurt him, near mortally wounded him, when you took Glorfindel as a lover…" Mandos held up a hand to prevent Elrond from saying anything, and continued, "…part of him died that day. He has never looked upon another with anything approaching love since. He started to love Glorfindel on his own, I had no hand in that. I'm just helping to…nudge them along, as it were."

"Like I said, I just want them to be happy." Elrond had seen what Glorfindel did to himself in grief and had wanted nothing more than to take Glorfindel in his arms to comfort him. Mandos had forbidden Elrond to even visit Glorfindel in a dream, though, saying that it would be better to let things take their own course. Now Elrond could see why. He hoped that his best friend and his lover would be happy together. Both of them deserved it.

YAY!! Couldn't help but add that part about Mandos at the end! Thank you for all your overly kind reviews. I don't deserve any of them! But by all means continue them : )