Bleach (c) Tite Kubo

Black and Blue

Second First Impression

Ichigo was in a towering temper and he was scowling.

Granted neither of these things were particularly new, but right now he was in an especially black mood. Especially after last night's little encounter.

Just when he thought he could finally get back to some semblance of normality, or at least routine, in his life, the world throws a wrench in things. That damn schmuck Shinji Hirako shows up out of nowhere, infiltrates his class and attacks him with a freaking Zanpakuto!

After all that, did he honestly think Ichigo would really join their little organization? The Visoreds or whatever?

And then, Shinji has the gall to show up at school the next day without a care in the world?

Arrogant bastard. Ichigo thinks, lips pulling into a snarl.

If he had the time, Ichigo would track down this Visored group and kick their asses out of town. There was already enough crazy crap going on in his life without another faction crashing the party. That malarkey with Aizen being pretty damn fresh in his mind, Ichigo hadn't exactly had the time to process that and take stock of things.

Only days ago the Gotei 13 were his enemy, dead set on killing him. Now they're treating him as a tentative ally, allowing him to continue to hunt and slay Hollows in his local area... even if the stupid combat pass didn't seem to work as advertised.

To compound Ichigo's foul mood over the whole situation? It was raining.

Great.

He was stuck waiting for the bus after school hours and he'd have to walk home in this deluge when he got off at his local stop. Thankfully this bus stop had a covered bench that kept him mostly dry, and he didn't have to share with anyone for the time being. Even better. And so he sits, mulling over things in his mind. His mind, which was rapidly becoming too noisy with that stupid Hollow crowding the edges.

Shinji was right. The damn thing was getting louder, stronger and impossible to ignore. He'd thought it was a freak event during that fight with Byakuya and hoped the feeling would subside, but no such luck.

Ichigo leans forward, raking his fingers through his orange hair. He was restless, tired and he had no idea what to do. He'd thought about reaching out to Urahara, maybe old bucket hat might have an idea or two, or some magic kido trick to render the hollow silent.

A mix of being lost in his own head and the heavy patter of rain against the tin roof prevents him from noticing another person approaching his spot.

"Sorry, there's no other cover. Mind if I join you?" The man asks, and Ichigo snaps out of his pensive mood.

He's a tall man dressed fairly casually. Brown boots, green cargo pants, a white hood and a black jacket over the top. He's got his hood up against the elements, shadowing most of his face, but Ichigo can see those aqua-green eyes regarding him curiously. A tiny sense of recognition plays in his mind, like déjà vu, but Ichigo dismisses it and moves to one side, letting the stranger take a seat with him.

"Yeah, sure."

"Thanks." The man says cheerfully, and Ichigo finds himself irritated even more.

Not at this guy in particular, but out of a prang of envy. The cheer feels like a slap in the face against everything he's going through right now, but Ichigo's neither selfish nor rude enough to take it out on random strangers.

"Heck of a shower today. Forecasts said this wasn't due until tomorrow. Guess it decided to make an early appearance, huh?" The man says conversationally, and Ichigo doesn't make much of an acknowledgement. He's not in the mood to talk and sighs to himself.

"I hate the rain," Ichigo blurts the thought without realizing it,

"Oh really? And why's that?"

Despite the friendly attempt to strike up some small talk, and possibly a welcome distraction from his own woes, Ichigo has none of it. He slouches and looks away pretending like he'd never spoken in the first place. He's mentally wishing the damn bus would hurry up already.

At this rate, Ichigo's got half a mind to put on his shihakusho, toss his own lifeless body over his shoulder and shunpo home.

But the spectacle of a lifeless person flying through the air in a fireman's carry is the kind of thing that lands in tabloids, front pages and the like. Plus, this dude's sitting here as a witness. Might freak out and call an ambulance if Ichigo's body suddenly keels over like a puppet with its strings cut. Or cry 'ghost' and howler like a banshee at the body being moved by some invisible force, which would definitely draw onlookers.

That's the last thing Ichigo needs.

So, Ichigo bitterly resigns himself to this largely one-sided conversation. The stranger murmurs in agreement, taking his sullen silence for all the answer he needs.

"Yeah. Yeah, I can definitely relate. The rain brings back some pretty gnarly memories for me too." The man presses a hand to the right side of his chest, an unconscious gesture it seems, with a strained smile. "But it can tell you its fair share of stories if you know how to listen; like a couple kids jumping around in puddles having the time of their lives, or someone getting splashed by a passing car on their way home to cap off a bad day. A town being flooded or relief to drought stricken pastures. All sorts of things. But all the bad stories shouldn't wash away the good, nor the good the bad."

Ichigo doesn't respond. He's not one for this pagan crap (bold words from a kid whose sword literally talks to him, is being haunted by basically a demon, and is friends with psychopomps who have the exact same talking weapon gimmick) but different strokes for different folks.

The stranger doesn't seem to mind carrying on the conversation by himself and shrugs with a chuckle, and then he catches Ichigo's full attention, "Then again, my Zanpakuto's a water type. The more water there is the better she can fight - be it seas or heavens. Suppose that makes me a little biased too, right?"

"Was that a threat?" Ichigo demands, snapping upright, eyes narrowing and fingers crawling towards the combat pass hanging from a belt loop.

"Oh no. I'm just trying to make polite conversation, and uh… oh. Okay. Crap, uh… yeah, I can see how that came across as a threat." The man laughs heartily at his own mistake, "Sorry about that. Don't worry, I'm not here to pick a fight so you can take your hand off your pass. See for yourself, I don't have her with me."

He spreads his arms to prove a point and shows there's no sword in sight.

Ichigo scoffs, unconvinced and glares darkly, "Yeah, but that doesn't make you any less dangerous. Let me guess, you've got a Shinigami's powers too, right? Means you've got all sorts of fancy Kido you can try on me before I could even switch out."

The man cocks an eyebrow with a genuine look of hurt and disappointment before he answers, rueful and sympathetic, "... aren't you a little young to be so cynical?"

Ichigo slouches once again and he can pretty accurately guess who sent this guy to find him.

Great. More of this Visored recruitment crap. This was the last thing he needed. He feels a headache coming on (and it's not just the inner Hollow) and his anger boil, definitely not helped by this guy's blatant inability to take the damn hint.

Don't they speak to each other? How many languages does Ichigo have to say 'no' in before they back the hell off?

Ichigo also finds it depressingly ironic that the local Shinigami assigned to Kurakura town doesn't recognise the combat pass Ukitake gave him but this guy, a Visored by implication, does. He wants to question that dissonance, but it's pushed aside in favour of figuring out how to escape even more prattling.

It's clear there's not much else he can do for the time being. It seems they're dead set on recruiting him or whatever. Maybe he will find and kick their asses after all? Make his stance emphatically clear at the business end of Zangetsu?

"I'm sorry about Shinji. Sometimes he can be a major asshole, but all and all he's actually a pretty great guy. Real 'ride of die' when you're in his good books - he just has his own way of doing things." The man says, returning to a friendly even tone.

He leans forward, elbows on his knees and pulls down his hood revealing a mess of black hair. Ichigo can see an old scar running along the carotid artery on the left side of his neck, bisected by a tattooed string of kanji. It looks like someone tried to go for either the artery or take his head entirely.

Ichigo vaguely wonders if it was Shinigami enforces who tried to take him out for obtaining hollow power. Like how Byakuya and Renji went after him for taking Rukia's powers during their first encounter. (He gets the sense that getting that power isn't exactly legal in Soul Society's eyes. Why else would these Visoreds act so cloak-and-dagger?)

The black kanji spells out a name, but Ichigo decides he doesn't care enough to read it before turning away with a scowl.

The man continues, oblivious or outright ignoring Ichigo's unwillingness to pay him any mind.

"See, I'd very specifically asked to be the one to reach out to you. But if you want to make God laugh tell him your plans, right?" He sighs, indulgent more than exasperated, "Problem is; there's a bit of an impatient element in the group that's driving everyone up the walls. Way I got it figured, Shinji only beat me to the punch for some peace of mind. Even if it left a bitter taste in the mouth."

"Is that so?" Ichigo retorts, disinterested. "Sorry to say you wasted a trip, pal. I already told Hirako to pound sand, so why don't you piss off before I get mad and decide to do something about it."

The man grunts, in sympathetic irritation now, "Yeah I get it. Being ambushed by a Zanpakuto and a Hollow mask ain't the best of ice breakers, is it? I don't even know what the hell Shinji was thinking. See, any sane or rational person would've just approached you and explained themselves… but no, gotta be as dramatic as possible because god forbid anyone cuts the bullshit for once."

The guy emphasizes the 'dramatic' part with sarcastic jazz hands and Ichigo snorts wryly before he can catch himself. He definitely relates. And he had to admit, this guy was definitely making a better impression than Shinji. Low bar to pass as that was.

Evidently, he's stuck with this conversation so Ichigo decides to engage a little. Only a little. "Let me guess, that bastard was the stick and you're supposed to be the carrot, right? Try to butter me up, make it sound like I'll have a great time rockin' around with a bunch of Hollow mask-wearing freaks?"

There's a pregnant pause, Ichigo can feel the man's aqua eyes on him and there's a genuine note of dismay, "You're far too young to be so damn cynical."

The man takes another moment to consider his next words carefully, running his fingers up and down the kanji on his neck.

Frustrated, Ichigo was about to turn around and snap at the man. Why did it matter if he was cynical or not? But his anger stopped dead when he finally met the man's critical eyes and got a good look at that face. Give him ten years and black hair, and this man could've been Ichigo's twin!

The identical stranger's gaze lowers as if weighing some internal decision, before meeting Ichigo's again, "It's admittedly a bold ask, but would you be willing to pretend you'd never met Shinji. Maybe even consider this a new first impression?"

Ichigo takes a second to compose himself, exhales and slumps with his arms folded over his chest. He pointedly refuses to look at the stranger, but mostly because he's trying to puzzle out just what the hell is going on. "Fine then. Whatever. At least you're not threatening me with a Zanpakuto this time. A-Plus for effort. But I still ain't interested. So knowing that, what's your elevator pitch, huh? 'Come to the dark side, we have Hollow Masks'?"

"For starters, I was going to say 'thank you'."

Ichigo thought it was an entirely sarcastic remark but the wind's taken from his sails when he glances back. Those aqua eyes were so earnest and warm and accompanied by a kind smile on his lips. It catches Ichigo completely off guard by how honest the gratitude really was. And he had no issue believing this was entirely genuine. But he has no clue exactly what he'd done to earn it?

And so he asks, "For what?"

"For saving Rukia from the Sokyoku and Aizen's schemes when I couldn't." He answers and leans back, exhaling deeply as if trying to expel some great shame weighing on his shoulders.

Well, if he didn't have it before, he definitely has Ichigo's undivided attention now. His eyes went wide. How did this guy know about that? And who was Rukia to him?

As if hearing the unspoken question, the man continues with a sombre tone even as anger and the tiniest hint of a dual voice layers his words, "By the time I heard what was going on from Urahara and Yoruichi? Everything was already over, and dear god, did I want to rip them both a new one."

He rubs his neck, brushing his fingers against that tattoo again, "Then again, had they told me they know I would've torn the Seireitei to shreds to save her… but I'm glad Captains Ukitake and Kyoraku managed to cotton onto the foul play and lend you a hand in their own ways. They're good men. Some of the best I've known."

"Okay, now you've got my full attention: just who the hell are you?" Ichigo demands with a deep scowl. He makes a mental note to find Urahara and kick his ass later.

If this guy could've helped rescue Rukia, then why the hell didn't that old bucket hat reach out to him in the first place? It would've saved them a lot of pain! And the fact he apparently knew Ukitake and Kyoraku as well? All the more reason to snag him for the job!

The man observes him once more, allowing a long minute to pass while he weighs his options. "My name is Kaien Shiba. Former Lieutenant of the Thirteenth Division. And you'd be Ichigo Kurosaki - it's my genuine pleasure to meet you."

Ichigo's eyes widen to the size of saucers, so much so he barely registers the hand being offered to him or taking it in a shake. He's no longer surprised that everyone and their dog in the spiritual world knows his name, but he's more shocked that a dead man is sitting right in front of him.

Kaien Shiba. He'd heard the name whispered over and over in his little adventure to Soul Society. Ukitake's former Lieutenant, Rukia's mentor, older brother to Kukaku and Ganju Shiba, was alive… alive and apparently working for the Visoreds! About a hundred thousand questions exploded in his mind.

Ichigo sputters, unable to process that information, "But… they said you died. Rukia- She… she killed you."

Kaien agrees immediately with a nod, his hand pressing once again just over his heart to rub at that spot. "She did. And I did die. In excruciating agony. I wouldn't recommend it."

Ichigo shakes his head in disbelief, "Then how the hell are you alive right now? Do Shinigami reincarnate into the human world if they die in Soul Society or something? Like how souls cross over here?"

Kaien slumps and shakes his head, there's a haunted look in his eyes that implies a story Ichigo isn't sure he wants to know about, "I only wish it were as simple or mundane as that. Suffice it to say that's a long and painful story and if I get the chance I might even share it… after copious amounts of alcohol, but I'm not the important part of the conversation right now. My principal concern is you."

Ichigo growls, deep and low in his throat, "Why the hell am I your priority?! What about your family?! And Rukia! Ukitake and the others! Why haven't you told anyone you're still alive here?! Do you have any idea how they've suffered because of that?!"

Kaien looks regretful, a dark shadow around his eyes, "Ichigo, you wouldn't happen to be an older brother yourself by any chance, would you?"

Ichigo grits his teeth, "Yes."

"Then as a big brother yourself, you should know how much it's killing me inside to be away from Kukaku, Ganju and the rest. Do you really think I wanted to die and let them suffer? That I get my kicks out of letting everyone I love continue believing I'm dead while trying to prepare for a war?" Kaien's questions are cutting and it deflates Ichigo a bit.

Kaien leans forward, his expression grave. It's clear he won't be drawn further on the matter and opts to move on. He's not exactly masterfully changing the subject, but Ichigo's not adept at it either. And there were truly more important matters to discussion.

"Since everyone in this town is positively allergic to a straight answer, I'll skip to the crux of the matter: You've got a hollow in your guts, it's terrifying you and you need help staving it off - yes? I can help you deal with it."

Ichigo scoffs again, shaking his head. "Yeah I know the whole spiel; if I join your little Visored organization you'll help me learn to control it, right?"

It's the caveat he can't get past. The ultimatum to join them or be damned to his inner hollow. Kaien seems to understand it as the root of his hesitation because he hits the nail on the head.

"From their point of view, they're trying to recruit you - cheerfully ignoring the fact that you're a child and you shouldn't be anywhere near this whole fucking mess whatsoever. Me? I want to help you because you are a child, you're sick, and without help you're going to die. There's nothing more to it than that. But if you do need more of a reason, then consider it my attempt to repay you for saving Rukia."

Ichigo's lips press in a line as he considers the words, but he is skeptical. It's just in his nature. "Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but why? You don't even know me."

"When a man's drowning, do you really think twice before throwing him a lifeline? Or do you save his life first and ask questions later?" Kaien counters, he closes his eyes and inhales deeply. "I won't ask you to trust me but all I want to do is help you, Ichigo. The Visoreds, for all their Shakespearian levels of theatrics and eccentricities, want to help you too. They've been on the lookout for similarly afflicted Shinigami. Hell, they saved me when I was trapped in far more dire straits. It's not an exaggeration to say they dragged my ass back from the abyss. And I don't mean the occasional blacking out in the middle of battle - I mean completely subsumed. But here I am; alive, Hollowfication mastered and sane."

Kaien winces, "Eh, questionably sane."

Kaien then meets Ichigo's gaze evenly, looking every bit as earnest as he sounds. "We're not the enemies here. Every single one of us are just victims of circumstance. Every single one of us were dealt shitty hands and chose to make the most of it. If it helps you think of us any better, consider it less an organization for… whatever, and more a support group for Hollowified Shinigami. A support group that's managed to develop the tools to tame and train Hollowification."

Ichigo rubs his chin, he's not quite convinced even if Kaien's arguments frame these people as somewhat helpful eccentrics. Stalking him in his own damn school didn't strike Ichigo as something any 'helpful' person would do, but he's also said that he wants to repay him. Rukia had spoken precious little of her former Lieutenant and mentor, but what little she shared was spoken with glowing praise.

Problem was, there was another officer spoken of in such reverence and he ended up being the orchestrator behind all of the chaos that nearly plunged Soul Society and Seireitei into a civil war. And that compounds Ichigo's suspicions.

"If I learn to use that power, if I fight with the Hollow's mask - what does that make me?" A monster? A freak? A psychopath?

It's strange to be struck by such a sudden bout of self-consciousness, especially in front of a near total stranger, but Ichigo couldn't help it. Those are the thoughts that came readily to mind. IT was also a reason why he was so scared. If by some miracle he managed to gain control of the Hollow within and harness its power, would that make him any different from a monster?

"At the end of the day, it's all just power; Shinigami. Hollow. Good. Bad - Whatever. Truth of the matter is all those labels mean absolutely nothing when you get right down to it. The important part is to not lose sight of yourself and your ideals." Kaien reaches up and flicks Ichigo's forehead before he can stop him, and he doesn't know how he feels about that, torn between irritation and bashfulness, "If you remain true to who you are in your heart, what does it matter if you wield a sword or wear a mask?"

Ichigo rubs his forehead, mulling over the words for a long silent moment. Kaien fishes something out of his pocket, it's a pen and a slip of paper. He jots down a number and his name before handing it to Ichigo. "You're not alone in this. Definitely not the only one who's suffered either. Here. You can reach out to me whenever, it doesn't even have to be about the Visoreds."

Ichigo ponders the number for a moment, "Well… I gotta hand it to you. Definitely a better ice breaker than Shinji's, that's for damn sure."

"Mmm. I'll see you when I see you, okay? And don't be afraid to reach out. I mean it. Even if it's just to shoot the breeze. Last thing anyone needs is to be trapped with nothing but the voices inside their head for company. Even Shinigami." With that, Kaien rises to his feet and replaces his hood. He's about to venture back out into the rain but hesitates and turns back, "How are they doing these days? Kukaku and Ganju, I mean?"

Ichigo's not surprised. Even if Kaien knows Yoruichi and Urahara, he gets the sense they rarely talk much. If at all. "They're… they're doing okay last I saw. Ganju helped us infiltrate the Seireitei when we tried to rescue Rukia and Kukaku's…"

Kaien's lips pull into a crooked smirk, folding his arms. "Kukaku?"

"Yeah. She's coping. I, uh… I don't know if you know about her-" Ichigo gestures to his arm vaguely. He doesn't know exactly how long Kukaku's been missing a limb, nor if Kaien knew about it so he's treading carefully.

If the scoff was any indication, evidently he had. Kaien's brow creases, disappointed. "What, she blew off her good arm again?"

"Yeah, I - wait, 'again' ?" Ichigo does a double take.

Kaien's eyebrow shot up, he leans against the bus stop sign as casual as ever, "Oh, didn't you know? That's her Zanpakuto's ability; lets her regrow her arm whenever she blows it off. Man, I've lost count of all the times she's done it, testing out one new little firecracker or other. I mean, no surprise right? She's the Fireworks Expert of Rukongai after all. Her and explosions? Always been a constant. Ever since we were kids."

Ichigo winces, completely taken aback by the whole idea and how casual Kaien is about it. It takes him a minute before he realizes something and glares, "You're just screwing with me, aren't you?"

"Yep! Catch you later!" Kaien cackles like a maniac, throwing a wave over his shoulder.

Cheeky son of a bitch… Ichigo thinks, and for a moment he'd forgotten his problems.

Author's note:

Kaien's 'being alive'-ness will be explained later. Also Kaien's neck tattoo. Guess what it says. :D

Hope you all enjoyed. :D

Edit: 2022/05/05 - just cleaned up the chapter to make it flow better.

Regards,
Aurora313