Suffering
By: ChocolateEclar
Disclaimer: I do not own nor am I making any profit from Fire & Hemlock by Diana Wynne Jones.
Summary:
Fire & Hemlock one-shot. Granny waits for Polly to return from Fairyland with only Mintchoc, a pot of tea, and old memories as company.
"Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering."
Paulo Coelho
Laurel does like her musical Toms, Granny mused over a pot of tea. She did not let her worry show as Mintchoc did. The cat kept preparing to jump off her lap, but then would calm and settle when Granny stroked the feline's back.
In the days leading to those last days, my Tom was sure there was no way to escape his fate, so he lived his life as best as he could considering, thought Granny. He was such a distant man at times though, and she never quite understood why until Polly showed her those books.
But at the end of seven years,
They pay a tax to hell.
Her Tom paid in full, but there was always hope for Polly's Tom.
Granny knew her Tom better than most of course, but she could never tell who he was playing for when he would take out his beautiful violin. Was it a funeral march for himself or a sad omen to her of what was to come to pass?
It was nearly midnight. Granny took Mintchoc into her arms and went out on the front porch. The rain was drumming on the path leading to the road and off to That House.
She sighed and pondered waiting out in the rain for a moment. That was what she had done the day her Tom left, but she was superstitious and wondered if maybe she would once again be left out alone in the rain all night if she did that again. This time, she would not be pregnant, but being old and achy would not be much better either.
She returned to the kitchen and set Mintchoc on the linoleum. Walking up to Polly's old room, she felt her old bones creak in protest. She studied the picture hanging on the wall above the bed. As she had had an inkling of occurring, Granny saw something different about the photograph. Not only was the fire usually shown burning the hay bales gone, but the figures that Polly had claimed were there as a child had totally vanished as well.
The calm before the storm, Granny thought. Or rather, the calm before the blaze.
It's just like that night, she sighed. She had waited with her Tom's last kiss burning her brow and a pain in her abdomen. Now, she just wanted them all to come to her. They needed the comfort and warmth of her kitchen to stay safe from the Fairy Queen.
She fell asleep waiting on Polly's bed, as the clock out in the hallway ticked away. "Granny!" came a distant call in time with the clock. "Granny, where are you?"
When Polly found Granny, for a moment, she could have sworn Granny was young as she had never seen her with a faint outline of a young man sitting on the bed beside her, and then the illusion was gone and there was slumbering Granny gone old with not knowing whether to wait or forget.
"Granny," Polly insisted. She was freezing and dripping water on the carpeting. She was not surprised when it was the drip-drap sound of the water hitting Polly's shoes that woke Granny instead of her calls.
Granny was awake and grumbling about ruining her floor before Ann could find the tea makings in Granny's cabinets. Granny took over in moments, while she patiently listened to the musicians, Lesley, and Polly explain what had occurred.
It was Tom Lynn who finally spoke to Granny alone as the others went to sit in the living room, sip tea, and discuss, "Polly said you had an experience with Laurel as well."
"Not face-to-face," said Granny after a moment. "I was just one of those who could do nothing. I never was much of a Janet."
She looked over her shoulder to see the other's reaction to this and was not surprised to see a bit of sorrow. "I'm sorry," Polly's Tom said in a way that reminded Granny very much of the last words her Tom had said to her.
"I'm sorry," he had said. "Will you forgive me for paying my tax to hell?" She had not understood and was even more confused when he kissed her brow. "Don't wait for me," he had continued, but of course she had, and a part of her still was.
Tom Lynn's glasses flashed, and Granny could no longer read his expression. Smiling despite herself, Granny said, "Come on, young Tom, don't keep your Janet waiting. There's been enough waiting in this family."
Arm-in-arm, they entered the living room where Polly greeted them with a smile. Ann was dozing off with her teacup in her hands, while Sam and Ed were in a corner playing a fierce game of Rummy with a pack of wet cards from Sam's pocket. Polly held up the book of ballads, "I like the ending of this one," she explained with a chuckle.
"It's not bad," admitted Granny with a smile.
"At least it's not full of sentimental drivel," noted Tom as he sat beside Polly. Polly laughed and made a comment about Tam Lin's back being very strong and free of any blemishes.
Granny watched as the banter between the two continued. It did not bother her that her granddaughter had taken Granny's own fairytale ending as her own. In her heart, Granny had realized her Tom would never be Laurel's possession so there was no reason to wait or force herself to forget any longer.
The old-fashioned picture of Thomas Whittacker in Laurel's bedroom fell off its hook and crashed to the floor. The glass of the little golden oval frame shattered and the fair-haired boy grinned at Laurel's possessions in mockery.
A/N: This F&H one-shot took a bit longer than the others to come together, and I'm not completely pleased with it. I did find that that quote at the beginning did seem to fit what I imagined Granny felt with her Tom gone though. That's one thing I'm pleased with anyway. Now, review please!