Gone
Author: Carly
E-mail: carlysxfiles@yahoo.co.uk
Rating: PG to be safe
Category: DRR, LOTS of Angst
Summary: Set seven years after the finale, William is home safe with his parents, and Mulder and Scully finally have their family together. Monica and John are married with a daughter, and very much in love. But when tragedy strikes Monica is faced with a task like no other and much harder than anything she's ever faced before. And this time she has to do it alone.
Archive: Ask me first
Disclaimer: Anything you recognise is not mine, I'm only borrowing and there's nothing wrong with that.
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July 8th, Present Day...

She could still see his face. Still taste his lips. Still feel him beside her. She still believed this could all be a lie. But the people around her all dressed in black and glancing at her with pity in their eyes when they thought she wasn't looking told her that this nightmare was a reality. Had it really been only five short days since she received that phone call? The call that her daughter had answered before running into the garden to give the phone to her mom. Everything had moved so fast. And yet she felt as if she were stuck in time. That this moment would never end. She knew that the pain would never go away.

How could this have happened to her? After everything that they had been through. After all the time and effort it had taken for them to even admit they were in love, why had he been taken from her after so short a period of time? It just didn't make any sense.

People began to leave the graveside and head towards their cars. It was a hot July day and everyone was heating up with his or her black jackets, trousers, and skirts. White shirts were the only thing that stopped people spontaneously combusting as people slipped off jackets to cool down. Now that the service was over it was considered appropriate to do so.

The thought of going back to their house, and listening to people tell stories about him as is if they'd known him their whole life was more than she could stomach. She hadn't even been able to look at her daughter because all she saw in her eyes was her father. She was only four years old; she didn't understand why her mom was so upset all the time. She had been staying with a friend whilst her mom made the arrangements. People kept telling Monica that it was normal to feel this way, but she couldn't understand why it was normal to not want to be with her daughter at this time. To see John in their daughter, Anna's, eyes. But Anna had been John's whole world, for just four short years they had enjoyed her being in their life. Now Anna was going to grow up without a father.

Monica didn't feel the hand that slipped into her own, she didn't feel anything anymore, nor did she look down to see the small four year old looking up at her desperate for her to reach down to her. Everything had gone. Monica couldn't even cry anymore, it was all too much like a dream. She ached and felt physical pain from living through the past five days; it tore her in two to think about it.

Dana and Fox walked over to her with their son William walking beside them, he was eight years old now and was the sweetest boy Monica had had the pleasure of knowing. It was him she noticed walking over before she saw his parents and then she looked at Anna. She tried to smile at the little girl, she tried to talk to her, and she wanted to tell her it would all be ok. But she just couldn't. Dana took Monica's free hand and Fox picked up Anna and took her to his car with William.

"Monica, we should go." Monica nodded her head without taking her eyes from where John Doggett had now been laid to rest.

"Are you ok?" Monica looked at Dana through tearful eyes and shook her head. How was she supposed to be ok?

"It's all my fault Dana. He died for me. John is dead because of me."

"He saved your life. He wouldn't have wanted this to go any other way."
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June 24th, Two weeks earlier, Doggett Residence...

"Monica! Will you help me here!"

"I can't! I'm gonna be late for work!"

"Well that makes two of us!" Monica popped her head around Anna's bedroom door and laughed as she watched John try to get their daughter out of bed and dressed.

"Mon, will you talk to your daughter?"

"She's your daughter when I'm getting ready remember?"

"Well then maybe we should just leave her here..." Monica was about to protest but John put his finger to his lips to signal her to be quiet as he stood up from Anna's bed. She was hidden firmly under the covers and showed no signs of coming out for anybody. John walked over to Monica and then turned back to his little girls bedroom.

"Yeah Mon, you and me will go to work and Anna can stay here, alone, all day."

"You do know that this will probably scar her later in life?" John smiled and kissed Monica to allay her fears. This was a game that they had played on many occasions and so far it had always worked in their favour.

"Isn't William off school for the holidays now too?"

"Yeah I think so, he should be at home with his dad."

"Well I guess we should call him and tell him to not expect Anna to come and play with all of his toys. He'll like that." Monica laughed quietly to herself as Anna showed signs of movement.

Slowly she popped her head from under the duvet and grinned at her parents. John looked at Monica and she knew what he wanted them to do. They waited a few more seconds before running into the room to get Anna up, Anna ran out of bed and down the stairs as fast as she could laughing all the way and Monica hi-fived John.

"Same time tomorrow morning?"

"You bet."

They went into their own bedroom to finish getting ready and John smiled to himself as he watched Monica brush her long brown hair. Anna had inherited his own big blue eyes, but it was Monica that she looked like the most, as far as he was concerned he had the most beautiful family in the world.

As John pulled up at the front of the Mulder residence he got out of the car with Monica and carried Anna out of the car whilst Monica went straight to the front door. William opened it and smiled at her as he said 'good morning' and invited her in.

"Mom's in the kitchen."

"Thanks, I hope you're ready for Anna today."

"I've hidden anything breakable in my room." Monica laughed and went into the kitchen to Dana and her younger son Jack, two, who was sitting merrily in his baby chair at the kitchen table. Dana smiled as she took a last sip of an already cold cup of coffee.

"It's been one of those morning."

"Tell me about it! Anna decided she wanted to stay in bed again this morning."

"Well you survived the 'terrible twos', she'll grow out of it."

"And you're going through it all again with Jack." Monica went over to the small boy and smiled as he grinned up at her.

"Mon'ca." The two women laughed and were joined by John who came in and smiled before sitting down at the table to fuss over the baby.

"Hey Jacky, how ya doin'?" The baby giggled and John was in his element. Dana smiled and looked at her watch.

"Mulder's upstairs, but we should go."

John looked up sighed; he hated being late because he enjoyed sitting in the house and talking like two normal couples. More now than ever, because Skinner had called and told Monica and John that he wanted them to bring Dana with them to the bureau for a meeting. Mulder agreed to watch Anna and was intrigued by what Skinner wanted with the three of them, as they all got back into the car, with Mulder, William, Jack and Anna waving from the door they drove to the FBI to find out.