Title: Where I Belong
Author: fbi-woman
Rating: PG-13 to be safe since I'm not quite sure exactly where I'm going with this one yet.
Type: CG of course, although I haven't really written the vast majority of that art yet lol. It's a post-ep fic of sorts as well which should hopefully make for a nice change.
Spoilers: sounds the warning bell This is a post-ep fic for the episode Viva Las Vegas so beware….
Disclaimer: I hate these stupid things….. I don't own anything and I'm not claiming to.
Summary: Well, as said, this is a post-ep fic for Viva Las Vegas so you probably already have a good idea of what it's about. This particular chapter is kind of a prelude to the CG part, so there isn't a huge amount of CG action in this chapter but it's coming!
AN : This used to be a songfic to "Get Out" by JoJo. For the songfic version, please visit I Belong
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I can't believe my eyes; I feel like I've been slapped in the face. I can't move: all I can do is stare. He's looking at me like I'm crazy, like he can't understand why I'm upset. How else am I supposed to feel? He's the one who asked me to come here tonight but I guess I wasn't what he had in mind after all.
"What do you expect? I run a nightclub."
Is that supposed to make it all right? He makes it sound like I should have seen it coming the whole time. Is he right? Was I just oblivious to it all? Did I miss the signs along the way? I just don't understand. I can't believe this is happening; that he would treat me like this…. I thought I meant more to him than that. I open my mouth and try to speak but no words come out. There are so many things I want to say but I can't seem to string the words together. I feel my heart sink to the floor and I know I need to leave. I take one last look at the man I thought I knew and I turn and walk away silently. As make my way out of the club, I feel like everyone is looking watching me and I know that my feelings much be written all over my face. I climb into the safety of my car and stare at the drops of rain beginning to fall on my windshield.
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As much as I wish I could simply erase it from my mind, I keep replaying the scene over and over in my head. A few minutes ago I was on top of the world and it all ended in a matter of seconds. I pray that this is just a dream; that I'll wake up and Chris and I can have a good laugh about it in the morning but I know that can't be. Just when I started to think our relationship might become a long-term thing, he went and cheated on me, completely shattering my visions. I wish I could turn back tine and change it so I never walked into that club. How could I be so stupid? It's not like I haven't been in this situation before but for some reason I allowed myself to get sucked in to it again. Every time he told me I was different, that I was special, that I was the only one…. It was all lies. That selfish bastard: he was playing me the whole time, just using me and tossing me aside like a toy, like all the rest of his cheap whores. Is that all I am? That seems to be all anyone wants me for.
'Stop it Catherine' I scold myself, 'don't think like that. You know there's so much more to you than that, even if no one else sees it'
Well, there is one person who knows who I really am, but I don't think he wants me either…. but I guess I can't really blame him. If only I was stronger, if only I could tell him what I really feel. Then maybe I wouldn't keep getting sucked into this vicious cycle of betrayal. Why does everything have to be so complicated?
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I feel that familiar sting behind my eyes and I struggle to hold it in. Clearly Chris is not who I thought he was and he is definitely not worth crying over. I sigh and wish fervently that Gil was here; hugging me, telling me everything will be fine. I feel a new rush of tears threatening to break free as I think of how Gil and I have drifted apart. What I wouldn't give for things to be like they once were. I start the car with the intent of going home but I change my mind and decide to go for a drive to clear my head.
Initially, I'm surprised to find myself in Gil's driveway but when I really think about it, I know this is where I wanted to be all along; the only place I feel like I belong. I step out into the pouring rain and make my way to the front door. I stand there for a while but I can't seem to bring myself to ring the doorbell. I'm slowly becoming aware of how cold I am, standing there in the rain, and I start to regret not wearing a coat over my tank top. Suddenly the door opens and I see him standing there in front of me. I know he can sense how I'm feeling and without a word he opens his arms to me. I walk into his embrace and throw my arms around his neck, pulling him close. Finally, in the warmth and comfort of his arms, I am able to let it all out, and I cry.
To be continued……