The insane musings of the authoress: Chapter fourteen of 'Glass Roses'! Sorry about the cliffhanger of the last chapter, but at least I updated this chapter quite swiftly!

Special thanks to: Everybody who reviewed! Your kind words help me to type the next instalments. Sometimes I find 'Glass Roses' hard going, you see : -) Oh, and this fic now has over 250 reviews, which is just amazing and so much more than I expected : -)

Extra special thanks to Lily, Jenny and Lilqtazn. Also, this chapter is for Adele. Sweetie, I'm so sorry that Charlie's in Germany! Oh, at least he'll be back in a few weeks.

Disclaimer: CCS is not mine.

Glass Roses

Chapter Fourteen

What Happens When: It Rains, and Touya Saves The Day

"What the hell are you doing!" Tomoyo demanded, sounding horrified as Eriol took one of her hands in his. He sweatdropped.

"Yeah," he said, "I probably look kind of dumb doing this, and I sure as hell feel stupid, but I wanted to do this properly."

"Eriol…" Tomoyo said softly, suddenly filled with an indescribable emotion as she looked at him.

'Plus,' he thought, 'Nakuru insisted.'

He took a deep breath.

"Tomoyo-san, I think that, from the moment I met you, I loved you. No, in fact, I know I loved you."

"Eriol-san…" Tomoyo interrupted gently again, but he ploughed on.

"From the moment I met you, got to know you, I have loved you. Just as I love Nakuru and Spinel."

Tomoyo was immediately confused.

'If he only loves me like he loves them, then why is he proposing!'

"I clung to the belief that that was how I loved you. I tried to tell myself that I loved you as a friend and nothing more; tried to convince myself that my feelings towards you would never change. I guess I started to question that belief when Kinomoto-san told me he thought I was in love with you," Eriol continued. Tomoyo blushed.

"Touya-kun told you that!" she squawked. Eriol nodded.

"But I insisted that wasn't true. I told him, and myself, over and over, that that wasn't the case. That I liked you as a friend and nothing more. Sure, I was starting to like you more and more, but that was just because I was starting to get to know you more and becoming better friends with you. And, okay, so maybe I had a few feelings towards you that were… Um… Not entirely appropriate for completely platonic friends -" at that, the two of them blushed - "but I told myself that I just…-" he gulped and couldn't force himself to look at her in the eyes when he said the next part - "lustedafteryoualittle."

He took another deep breath and willed his face to calm down. Tomoyo looked as embarrassed as he did.

"Eriol-san, I'm flattered…" she began to say. Eriol interrupted her with a furious shake of his head. He had the most horrible feeling that her next word was going to be 'but', and, judging by the expression on her face, he was most likely right.

"Just hear me out, Tomoyo-san," he pleaded. "Like I said, I was convinced I just lusted after you a little. I convinced myself that I'd get over it. But then you kissed me that night, and I wasn't sure what I thought any more. I talked to Nakuru about it and she helped me see that really, I'm in love with you."

He smiled suddenly.

"Isn't fate cruel? I fall in love with someone who doesn't want me that way."

"Eriol…" Tomoyo began again, and this time he let her speak. "Eriol-san, I can't even understand why you want me. I mean, you could do so much better. You could have a girl who… Who…"

He knew what she was going to say, even though she seemed lost for words. You could have a girl who hasn't been through what I've been through. You could have a girl who isn't so timid and guarded. You could have a girl who doesn't have any scars.

"Tomoyo-san, whoever that girl is, I don't want her. I want you. I've never loved someone like I love you. I know… I know that people hurt you, and I know you have the scars to prove it. But I want to help you, Tomoyo-san. I want to look after you and restore your faith in people. I want to watch over you and have you always by my side. I want to love you, Tomoyo-san, if you'll only let me. I want to marry you."

Tomoyo closed her eyes in a vain attempt to stop her tears from falling down her face. When she opened her eyes, her vision was blurry.

"I want," she began, but she had to take a deep breath and start again. Eriol didn't rush her.

"I want to be able to tell you that you're being crazy and you don't really love me," she said, her voice shaking. Then she smiled - it was a small, sad sort of a smile.

"But after having heard what you just said, how can I say that? How can I deny feelings that are so obviously true? I wouldn't be being fair to you if I pretended your feelings didn't exist simply to make myself feel less guilty."

She paused to collect herself. During the pause, she felt her hand get wet. When had it started to rain?

"But I can't… I can't marry you, Eriol-san. How can I marry you when I can't even love you? I can't love anyone yet - I haven't healed. You spoke of me having scars - they're not scars, they're wounds - still raw and fresh and bleeding."

It was then that she realised it wasn't raining - Eriol was crying. And she couldn't stop weeping. For him and for herself.

"I understand," he said as he got up off his knee and even managed a small smile.

"No," Tomoyo said quietly, "you don't."

Eriol shook his head.

"Oh no, Tomoyo-san, never mistake the fact that I do understand. I don't like it, but I understand."

Nobody said anything for a moment. Then Eriol spoke.

"I think," he said, with a small, knowing smile, "that I always knew you couldn't love me."

"Did that make my reaction hurt less?" Tomoyo asked quietly, her purple eyes sorrowful.

The look on Eriol's face and the pain so obvious in his deep blue eyes was all the answer Tomoyo needed.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. He gave no indication that he even heard her as he walked away.

She stood out from her doorstep for a while, staying long after he left. Then, with exquisite timing, it began to rain. She stood out in the open and let herself get soaked. Wasn't rain supposed to be cleansing and soothing? It seemed to be biting Tomoyo as it froze her to her very core.

"Is this my punishment!" she yelled into the night.

There was no answer, but she stood in the rain. Even as she wept bitterly, she stayed out. Because if this was her punishment, then she would take it. She would take it, because she deserved it.

…

"Nakuru, have you got our plane tickets?" Eriol asked his cousin as he finished packing the last of their things into the suitcases. Her chocolate-coloured eyes were sad as she showed them to him.

"Eriol, are you sure you shouldn't tell Tomoyo-chan about this?" Nakuru asked tentatively, quite certain that she was about to be snapped at. Every time Nakuru had mentioned the raven-haired girl in the last week, Eriol had exploded at her. This time, however, Eriol just closed his eyes and drew a deep breath.

To stop himself from exploding at Nakuru.

"I don't think that will be necessary, Nakuru," he said. Nakuru looked troubled.

"Okay," she answered. "I'm just going for a walk. I won't be long."

Eriol was too preoccupied to be suspicious.

"Okay," he answered, "but make sure you stick to your word and don't forget the time."

Nakuru assured him that she wouldn't, and slipped out of the house. She walked part of the way down the street before running all the way to Tomoyo's house.

…

Tomoyo was utterly shocked to see Nakuru on her doorstep.

"Nakuru-san!" she gasped. "Whatever's wrong?"

The two women looked at each other for a moment, Nakuru panting desperately. Then, in unison, they said, "everything."

…

"Tomoyo-chan, I'm sorry, but I don't have time for tea," Nakuru said. "Eriol and I are leaving on a plane for Osaka in an hour's time."

Nakuru watched as Tomoyo absorbed this information. Her pretty face turned green, then white.

"N-no," she whispered, shaking her head. Nakuru looked grim.

"I'm afraid so," she said.

"I did this, didn't I?" Tomoyo asked slowly, sounding horrified, tears filling her eyes.

"Well, we're actually going to visit our grandmother, but I have to admit that he only got the idea when… Well, you know…" Nakuru trailed off.

Yes, Tomoyo did know. When she broke his heart.

"Listen," Nakuru said as she shoved a hand through her long red hair, "I'm not here to tell you to love him. I'm just here to tell you that we're leaving, that's all. I thought that you might like to know."

"Of course I would have wanted to know!" Tomoyo exclaimed. "You two are two of my best friends!"

Nakuru nodded.

"I'll miss you, Tomoyo," the older woman said, tears beginning to cloud her vision no matter how hard she tried to resist.

"I'll miss you too! Call me when you get to Osaka, okay?" Tomoyo ordered as she threw her arms around her friend.

"I will!" Nakuru promised. Then she turned to leave.

"And Tomoyo?" she said. "I'm sorry."

Nakuru didn't clarify exactly what she was sorry for, but Tomoyo knew.

"You couldn't possibly be as sorry as me," Tomoyo answered as, through her tears, she watched another person walk away from her.

I'm sorry I couldn't love him.

…

Tomoyo sank to the floor in her hall and looked at the floorboards in disbelief. It had only really begun to sink in that they were leaving.

…

Touya pulled up in his car outside Tomoyo's house. His 'sixth sense' had been bothering him - he'd got a sudden feeling that he had to go see Tomoyo. He'd tried to ignore it, but it refused to be ignored and kept niggling at him. Eventually, he had given up and gone to visit his Tomoyo-chan out of annoyance.

…

At that moment, with the most impeccable timing, Tomoyo saw Touya walk towards her house. He began to run when he saw Tomoyo sitting on the floor through her open front door.

"Tomoyo-chan!" he exclaimed when he reached her, sounding frantic as he sat down beside her. "What's wrong!"

Tomoyo opened her mouth, but for a second, no sound came out. Then she wailed, "he's leaving, Touya-kun!" and dissolved into tears.

…

Touya didn't even need to ask who 'he' was. He simply tried his best to comfort his distraught cousin, rubbing her back as she sobbed and babbled incoherently.

"I swear I'll kill that little bastard! I promised I would murder him slowly if he hurt you," Touya muttered. Tomoyo immediately turned a tear-streaked face to him, then shook her head.

"No!" she objected. "It was all my fault! It was me who made him leave, because I rejected him!"

She proceeded to fill Touya in with all the things that had happened since his last visit. Touya whistled.

"That's quite a fine mess we've got here, Tomoyo-chan," he said. Tomoyo looked thoroughly miserable as she said softly that she knew.

"Well," Touya said, immediately taking the sensible approach, "first we have to determine how you really do feel about him. I'm not saying you should marry him, or even tell him you love him, if you know you don't feel that way about him. I'm just saying that maybe you should slow down and take a proper look at your feelings before you make any rash decisions."

Tomoyo nodded - that all sounded sensible, but of course, this was Touya.

"Now," Touya said, "picture him leaving. Imagine never seeing him again, or, at least, not seeing him again for a long time. How does that make you feel?"

Obediently, Tomoyo closed her eyes. She saw it all happen in front of her, like she was watching a movie. Eriol going off on a plane, his eyes sad, with Nakuru-chan. Nakuru-chan wishing that it could have worked out between her cousin and her friend.

She saw herself missing him, saw herself going to his house before realising that he wasn't there, then walking down the path and away from his home, fighting tears. Her eyes snapped open.

"He can't leave!" she said, clutching Touya's sleeve. Touya nodded.

"I expected a reaction like that. You feel sad, don't you? And lonely. Maybe even guilty that you let him go."

Tomoyo nodded.

"Well," Touya said with a sigh, "that doesn't surprise me, as it confirms that, as a friend, you care about him a great deal. But we both knew that." He took a deep breath.

"This, however, is the real test."

Touya looked uncomfortable.

"Okay," he said, sounding uncertain, "close your eyes."

She did so.

"Okay," Touya said again, sounding distinctly like he'd rather do anything else than what he was about to, "this is kind of twisted, but… Well, I'll explain at the end. I don't want to lessen the impact of all this."

Tomoyo nodded, her eyes still closed. Touya leaned forward to whisper in her ear.

"So, now picture this," he swallowed, "you're together in his… Room. You're lying on his… Oh, God… Bed."

Both Tomoyo and Touya were rapidly turning red.

"He's… Kissing you. You can feel his… Ugh… Tongue on yours. This was a bad idea, as now I'm picturing it, and it's disturbing… Anyway, he's kissing your neck now. Making little circles on your skin with his tongue…"

Tomoyo had to fight a moan.

"He whispers in your ear that he loves you," Touya stopped talking, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "I can't go any further! This was disturbing enough already - picturing a girl who might as well be my sister being seduced…" Touya shuddered, "it's like picturing Sakura with the gaki!"

Tomoyo's eyes, which had snapped open when he stopped talking, looked troubled.

"Tomoyo-chan," he said softly, "can you see yourself walking up the aisle with him? Waking up beside him every morning? Maybe even having a baby together?"

Her eyes fell closed and, again, she could see herself. She was dressed in a beautiful white wedding dress, walking up the aisle towards a handsome, tuxedo-clad Eriol who was smiling at her… She was waking up in a bright, airy bedroom. Eriol was framed by a large window, which he was looking out of. When he heard her stir, he turned to her and said, with this big smile, "isn't it a beautiful day?"… She was heavily pregnant, shopping for baby clothes with a smiling Eriol. A woman walking by commented on how beautiful Tomoyo is looking, with a beautiful, pregnancy glow radiating from her. Tomoyo blushes and tries to tell that the woman that she is not beautiful, but Eriol simply beams and says, "yes, isn't she beautiful? Aren't I lucky?"

Tomoyo's eyes opened again.

"It hurts…" she whispered. Touya nodded.

"It hurts to see all those things and think that I might never have them," she whispered.

This time, Touya shook his head.

"No, Tomoyo-chan, I don't doubt that you will, someday, have them. Guys will be queuing up to marry you, and you will have plenty of time to marry one of them - you're only seventeen, after all. The question is, would you be happy with this other man? Would you be happy to let him… Touch you? Marry you? Sleep beside you? Share each and every day with you? Could you ever love him?"

He paused for a second to look searchingly into her violet eyes.

"Or does it have to be Hiiragizawa-san?"

Tomoyo sat bolt upright, as if something had just smacked her upside the head. Then, she burst into tears. That was all the answer Touya needed.

"I love him! How could I have been so stupid not to see? I know I was afraid to let him in, but I could never kiss anyone else, marry anyone else… I want to wake up beside him and I want to be the one he smiles at. I want to be the one he comes home to at night and the one who he tells about his day. I want him to always be by my side. I want to love him, and be loved by him.

But I've missed my chance! It's too late!" she cried.

Touya smiled and shook his head.

"No, my dear, it's never too late. It's not over until the fat lady sings. Now we get to do something I've always wanted to do!"

"What's that?" Tomoyo asked, finally smiling as she wiped her eyes.

"A big dramatic rush to the airport!"

…

The two of them ran out of the house and into Touya's car. Touya fumbled with the car keys, and when he finally managed to get them into the ignition, he then managed to turn on the windscreen wipers and radio before, eventually, he succeeded in getting them moving.

Touya looked sheepish.

"Sorry about that," he said, but Tomoyo just smiled.

"I guess it's true what they say - more haste, less speed."

Tomoyo's attention was suddenly drawn to the DJ talking on the radio. He was announcing that they would be having a competition 'after this next song, which is for my best friend who just eloped with his girlfriend'.

Of course, with exquisitely bad timing, 'Come Away With Me' began to play. Tomoyo began to sing the words under her breath, but her voice was becoming shakier as her vision began to blur.

'I will NOT cry,' she thought stubbornly, 'God knows I've cried enough lately - I'm tired of it. I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry…'

A tear rolled down her cheek and off her chin.

Oh well…

…

"Tomoyo-chan, are you okay?" Touya felt compelled to ask. Tomoyo nodded.

"Yes, I'm fine. Keep driving, please, Touya-kun."

Touya nodded and turned left, following the signs for the airport. Then, he swore under his breath. Tomoyo immediately saw what was wrong.

"Crap," he muttered, "roadworks."

Tomoyo bit her lip. There was a diversion, but they would never make it to the airport if they had to turn back and take another route now.

"What will we do?" Tomoyo asked, her voice quiet and fearful. Touya, much to her surprise, grinned.

"Well, we're not that far from the airport. Seven miles, maybe," he said. Tomoyo immediately looked horrified.

"Oh my God," she said, "you're not seriously about to suggest what I think you're about to suggest, are you?"

He simply continued to grin.

"I was thinking," he said, "that we could ditch the car here. I have my bicycle in the trunk - I put it in there a while ago in case the car ever broke down somewhere."

Tomoyo's eyes widened.

"Touya-kun, no! You can't be serious!"

"I am one-hundred percent serious," he said, "there's that little platform over the back wheel that I used to strap pizzas to when I worked as a pizza delivery boy. You could sit on that and hold on to me."

Tomoyo had turned steadily more white.

"Absolutely not!" she screeched.

…

'I must be crazy,' Tomoyo thought as she and Touya set off a few minutes later.

…

It was an absolutely insane, fast-paced race to the airport. The wind whipped Tomoyo's face and made her eyes stream. Her long hair repeatedly smacked her in the face, and she ended up with a mouthful of it - quite unpleasant.

When they finally arrived at the airport, Tomoyo felt that she had never been so glad to see a building in her life. Touya chained his bike to a lamppost, and then the two of them ran faster than they had ever run before through the doors to the airport.

They hurriedly checked the large sign that indicated incoming and departing flights; and they quickly spotted Eriol's flight.

"Gate 23," they muttered in unison, and they dashed towards it, following the signs. When they arrived in the lounge, which opened on to the gate, Eriol and Nakuru were just about to hand over their tickets and go through to their plane.

Tomoyo felt her heart give a big leap in her chest when she saw him.

"Eriol!" she shouted. "Wait!"

…

A.N. Do I never tire of leaving horrid, mean cliffhangers! That is how it would seem… The ending of 'Glass Roses' is really coming much more suddenly than I had thought - I ended up re-writing the ending I had originally planned, because this one was just going to work much better.

Then I realised that if I did it this way, then I really was getting quite close to the ending! Although I'm glad, in a way, that I'm coming to the end of the fic (as it will, after all, be the result of over a year's hard work), I'm very sad, too. I get very attached to the fics I write and I'm always sad to see them end.

I estimate that there are about… Four chapters left to go, I think. Another chapter to help us get to the actual ending, then a two-part epilogue. Then I think I'll give you a chapter detailing the alternate endings that never quite became reality, and ideas that never made it into the final version of the fic. Sort of like the 'Special Features' section on a DVD, I suppose.

Although, it'll be a while before you see the next chapter, as I have exams coming up ((sigh)).

Well, anyway, I hope to see you next chapter!

Shattered Midnight Dreams…zzz…

Because life's like that sometimes…