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Chapter 11: Doubts

Lucas was on the verge of falling asleep in his bed. He had flipped to his wolf form after informing his mother of all that had transpired with the Silver Lake wolves and showing her that he was all in one piece. His mind began to clear and he felt the welcome veil of sleep come upon him.

Lucas? Lucas?

He heard a familiar voice in his mind pulling him awake.

Pres? Is that you? Where are you?

I'm outside. Let me in.

This was not an uncommon thing for them. Many times before Presley had come over in this manner to spend the night. She would wait for Vivian to go to bed, then Lucas would let her quietly in.

Tonight, however, Lucas did not feel like letting her in.

I need to heal, I'm staying in my wolf tonight.

It was the truth but still it was awkward not to accept Presley's offer. He had never refused before.

I miss you.

You saw me at school today.

You know what I mean!

Lucas did know what she meant but he did not feel the same way. He did have a great time when they were together but he didn't dwell on her when she wasn't around.

Can't I just sleep next to you then?

She persisted and Lucas was starting to get irritated.

Go home Pres. This is not a good night for that.

Tomorrow night then?

Lucas did not answer right away. When he thought of tomorrow, images of Sophia came to his mind.

I'll see you at school tomorrow.

This was the only thing he could tell Presley. He would not promise more.

Presley felt the disconnection of their mind link and knew that Lucas would say no more. She looked longingly at his window and then turned around to head home. It was all Sophia's fault, she thought as she made her way through the forest. I wish she had not survived her first flip!

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The next morning at breakfast, Matt studied his daughter. He had smelled Lucas's scent all over her last night when she came home and he could tell that Lucas occupied much of her thoughts. He felt concerned for her.

"Why are you looking at me like that Dad?" Sophia grumbled as she finished scrambling some eggs and dumped them on two plates.

"Did I forget to comb my hair or something?"

"No sweetheart, you look great. I was just wondering how you're handling the others at school," he stated cautiously. He did not want to pry into her personal life, but he did want to make sure she was happy.

"Well, you were right about a lot of things. You already know about what the females did, although I think a few of them were a little friendlier last night at the rave." She brought the plates to the table and sat down to eat. "The males are horny all the time," she smiled and laughed.

Matt smiled back. "Yeah, I remember what it was like in high school."

Sophia laughed again, "No way! You were like THAT Dad?"

Matt shrugged, "It was only natural," and he smiled at her expression. "Why does every generation think it is the first to event sex?"

Sophia gave him a funny look. "Probably because they can't imagine their parents ever being that way."

"Well, life goes on," Matt told her as she ate. "One day you meet the one you want to be with for life, and then you no longer want anyone else."

"When you first saw mom, did you know she was the one?" Sophia asked. They had talk about her mom many times, but this morning she felt her interest piqued again.

"You know, when I first saw her, I knew there was something very special about her. When I got to know her better, it was like everything about her filled parts of me that were missing. She became so much a part of all my thoughts and soon it felt like everything I did, I did it for her."

Sophia listened patiently. She wanted to hear more about this.

She wanted to know what falling in love was like. She already knew how hard it had been for them. So many were against the match because Marie was human. But Matt gave up becoming Alpha in order to have the woman he loved by his side. Sophia thought that was so romantic.

"How old were you when you fell in love with her?" Sophia was very interested in knowing.

Matt looked at her carefully. "I was eighteen. But not all males are ready to be exclusive at that age."

Sophia knew that skinwalkers used the term "exclusive" to mean the equivalent of a human engagement. It was decided about fifty years ago that since skinwalkers were attending school with humans, they should wait until after high school before they could be officially mated. They did not want to attract more attention to their differences by having so many skinwalkers "married" earlier than humans did. So they created the term "exclusive" to mean skinwalkers that were promised to be mated after high school ended. To declare yourself exclusive meant that you were off the market and that all others had to respect that decision and not approach you for sex.

Sophia was thinking about Lucas and wondered how he really felt about her. Would he be the type to go exclusive?

Matt knew what she was thinking about as she was not very good at blocking her thoughts yet.

"Sophia, you haven't been skinwalker very long, maybe you shouldn't pin your hopes on one person yet," he cautioned, not believing that Cates could possibly be ready to settle down yet.

"What do you mean, Dad?" Sophia said without looking at him. He had hit the mark right on the nose.

"Sweetie, look at me." Sophia shifted her big brown eyes to Matt. "I have seen some positive changes in Lucas lately, but that doesn't mean I believe he is totally ready to give up all his ways."

Sophia didn't like what she was hearing and a saddened look came upon her face. Matt did not like to make her feel this way but he was worried that Lucas would break her fragile heart.

"I just want you to be careful with your expectations of him, sweetie. You've got a generous and loving heart, just like your mother's, and Lucas may not be the one who'll appreciate that."

"I'll be careful Dad." She looked away. She did not want to discuss this anymore.

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At school there was a lot of talk about the annual school fundraiser barbeque that was to be held tomorrow. It was held at the lakeside recreation area and there would be volleyball, swimming and eating contests. Sarah and Sophia had bought their tickets yesterday and were looking forward to the nice weather that was promised. At lunch break they sat together in their favorite spot, discussing last night.

"So..." Sophia began, "Sean, huh?" She smiled at Sarah, knowing that Sarah had been bursting with happiness all morning.

"Yep!" Sarah simply said and lay back on the lawn with her hands behind her head, smiling.

"Well?" Sophia pressed, "Aren't you going to tell me the details?"

"Nope!" Sarah teased. "You don't tell me anything about Lucas, so you don't get to know about Sean."

Sophia threw a napkin at her. "I'm sure you have more to tell than I do."

"Maybe." Sarah laughed.

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Sherman Blackstone's class was very quiet that day as the males on the baseball team had all left early on a bus to Seattle. They had a game there this afternoon and because of the long drive, were allowed to leave after lunch. Sophia was a bit disappointed that she wouldn't be spending time with Lucas this afternoon. She had only seen him once today in the hall between classes. He was walking in the opposite direction and slowed down when he saw her approaching. They stopped in front of each other and he reached up and placed his hand softly on her face and bent down, giving her a sweet kiss on the lips. A teacher in the hallway had seen them and said, "That's enough of that. Get to class." He squeezed her hand once and then they both parted.

All day in class she was thinking about last night and how she had enjoyed the taste of his blood. She looked around at the humans and thought of how shocked they would be to know of this. She thought of how different skinwalkers really were from humans and she was beginning to understand why they had to be separated a lot of the time. She wondered what her mom thought of skinwalkers when she had found out.

Soon the last bell of the day sounded and Sophia and Sarah were getting ready to leave class. Presley was speaking in a loud voice to her friends, unusually loud.

"So where did you go last night?" asked Krissy.

"I went over Lucas's house as usual," she laughed a suggestive laugh.

Sophia felt like someone had just slapped her in the face. She looked over at Sarah with a stricken look. Sarah had heard as well.

She could be lying.

Sarah tried to console.

Sophia felt like crying. Her chest filled with pain and she grabbed her belongings and walked quickly out the door. Sarah followed her and caught up. They walked silently, tears streaming down Sophia's face and soon they reached a park. Sophia sat on a bench and Sarah sat next to her, unsure of what to say.

"Sophia, it sounded to me like Presley was trying to get you upset. Did you hear how loud she was?"

"Well if it's true, then it's true!" Sophia said angrily. "I just don't get it Sarah. How he can be so romantic with me and then turn around and screw her? Just what is he playing at?"

Sarah felt bad for her. Sophia was really struggling with human views of relationships. "Lucas is a male." She said this as if that would simply explain everything.

Sophia jumped off the bench. "So what! I'm sick of that excuse! I just can't do this Sarah. I can't be like other skinwalkers. I want to be special to someone, not just another lay!" Sophia paced around and finally came back to the bench and sat down.

Sarah looked at the ground and thought of Sophia's predicament. "You want to be exclusive? With Lucas?"

Sophia let out a long breath. "I just don't know anymore." She sagged on the bench. "Maybe my Dad is right. Maybe Lucas isn't the one for me." Her heart ached as she said these words. Lucas was the only one she wanted.

Sarah looked at the very depressed Sophia. "Come on, let's have a girl's night tonight. Can you spend the night?"

Sophia simply said, "Yeah, sure."

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That night, Lucas and his friends arrived at the rave sight later than usual as they had arrived from Seattle not too long ago and needed to shower.

He looked around for Sophia and asked some others if they had seen her tonight. They told him that she was not here at all. Presley was making her way over to him when she spotted him but Randy had grabbed her and pulled her to him. "Hey there, did you miss me?"

Presley struggled to get out of his grip. "Let go, I need to see Lucas." When she pushed him away she turned to find Lucas again, but he was already gone. She fisted her hands and stomped one foot. "Where did you go?"

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Sophia and Sarah were watching videos on a T.V. in Sarah's room. Sarah made sure to pick comedies in order to try to cheer Sophia up. It wasn't working too well, as Sophia could not seem to get her mind off Lucas.

Sophia?

Sophia sat up straight when she heard Lucas's voice in her head.

Come out and run with me.

He invited.

Sarah looked at Sophia. "What is it?"

Sophia stood up and went to the window. When she looked down she saw the gray wolf sitting there below, looking up at the window. He had gone to her house first and when he found that she wasn't there, he did a scan and found her here.

"He's down there," Sophia said to Sarah. "He wants me to run with him." Sophia's voice sounded dull and forlorn.

Lucas saw Sophia at the window and was excited to see her. Then he noticed the expression on her face.

Sophia? What's wrong?

I'm not going out tonight Lucas.

Why? What's the matter?

She didn't say anything. She didn't know what to tell him. She didn't want him to know how much her heart hurt. What if he didn't share the same feelings for her? She didn't want to be pathetic.

Sophia, please come out and talk to me.

She knew what she had to do. She was thinking about this all evening.

Just for a little while. Just to talk.

She projected this and then she backed away from the window. She looked at Sarah, who was giving her a questioning look.

"I'll be right back." She left the room and went downstairs.

When she came outside, she looked around for him but he was not in the same spot. She heard his voice behind some trees. "Over here," he said.

She walked over and saw him sitting nude on a rail fence. He looked down at her bare legs in her cute blue boxer shorts and gave her a slight smile. "So why the long face baby? You did know I had a game in Seattle today, didn't you?" He assumed that she might be upset with him for not meeting her after school.

She stood facing him but she would not meet his eyes. She crossed her arms and looked off to the side.

His smile faded when he felt an ominous feeling about her expression. "Sophia? What is it?"

"I think we should just spend some time apart, for awhile," she stated, still not looking at him. She felt her heart sink lower when she sensed how much her words had hit him.

He sat, just staring at her. He didn't understand what was going on and a bereft feeling washed over him. Not spend time with her? Was she trying to slit his throat or what?

"Why?" he asked in a soft low voice.

She shifted her feet and still would not look directly at him. She was afraid she would start crying.

"Because I... just need some time," she answered. She wished she had the guts to just say what was really on her mind. She wished she could just tell him that she couldn't trust him and that she didn't want to be just another female in his harem.

Lucas could see that she wasn't saying everything and he didn't want to invade her mind and get her more upset with him. So he said, "How much time do you need?" He needed to know that she wasn't dismissing him from her life forever.

"Maybe until after prom sometime," Sophia answered softly.

Was this what she was upset about, he thought. She is still dwelling on the prom thing. He thought they had discussed that already.

Then she said, "After all, we are both going with different people."

He jumped to his feet. "What?!" Sophia jumped back in surprise at his outburst. She looked at him now, a bit frightened. "Who? Who are you going with?" he barked. He even was surprised at his own reaction. He backed up a bit and tried to maintain his cool.

"Scott," she squeaked.

He could no longer control his reaction. His eyes widened and flared. "You will not!"

Now she started to get angry. "Like you said, it's just a dance," she threw his own words of yesterday back at him.

"You cannot date humans, Sophia!" he glared at her. "I won't allow it!"

She shook her head at him in angry amazement. "You won't allow it? Just leave me alone Lucas!" she turned quickly and stalked away towards the house.

Lucas felt the slamming of the door. It felt like a dagger slamming into his heart. How could she do this to him? He felt like ripping that human boy's head off. He paced back and forth looking up at the room where he knew Sophia went. He heard her crying and he knew Sarah was trying to comfort her.

Why was this happening? He had thought things were going so well for them. With a last look at the house, he flipped and ran off into the woods as fast as he could go. He needed to run and he felt that he would never stop.

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