Jack started to feel a strong attraction towards Elizabeth, which was no surprise since Jack loved everybody, and when we say everybody we mean, EVERYBODY. Will began to get suspicious of this affection when they began making out, but he blamed it on the drinks. Will soon realized that he was losing the love of his life.
Will stood up, pulled Elizabeth away from Jack's grasp, and punched him square in the face. Jack stood up in rage and brought his hand up. He slapped Will across his face. It then turned into a slapping fight.
While this happened, Elizabeth was flirting with the bartender.
After the fight they all went their separate ways (to their own homes). They all had had tremendous hangovers.
Norington, still on his wild side, went off to rob the local wall-greens.
"This is a stick-up!" He yelled.
Everybody screamed, "The commodore has gone mad!"
"Thaaaaaaaaaaaats right!" Norington yelled, "Now, I would like all of your baby powder and a razor…please. And give me gumballs! NOW, or I'll shoot you with my high powered water-gun!"
They gave him the stuff he wanted. He freaked out when they gave him the kind of razor for the face. He started squirting water everywhere. People were screaming, and he was yelling, "Don't you care if I have smooth legs for my hanging?!"
They got him the new Intuition razor for women and he ran out of the store to shave and powder his wig.
By 11:00 his legs were slippery smooth and wig white as a baby's bottom. He had a spaz-attack and flung out the window. Norrington got the idea that he was Peter-Pan and jumped out the 2nd story singing, "I can fly! I can fly! I can fly!" HE had officially gone mad. He stupidly checked his watch and realized that he only had 10 minutes to get to his hanging.
Meanwhile, Will and Elizabeth made up. She had mysteriously strayed into his bed that night.
All three of them headed to the gallows to witness the commodore's hanging.
The commodore stood up on the gallows while everyone watched from below. They were reading off the charges
"Drinking unresponsively, violating married women…"
There was a piercing, girly squeal from the back of the audience. It was the Fellowship of the Ring!
"HELP! HELP! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! My fro is attacking me and I can't get it off! Somebody help me get this damn ring off!" Frodo Screamed.
"Mr. Frodo. Mr. Frodo, you forgot your lunch, nice juicy tatters. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that your head is as big as an olliphaunt. Shall I do the trimming?" Frodo's faithful sidekick, Sam, called.
"Whas tatters, precious? I'm not listening." Gollum hissed.
Gandalf explained, "But you don't have any friends," He gave an evil chortle, "But…nor do I!"
"Can I…I mean, may I kiss you Pip?" Merry stared at him lovingly.
"I thought you'd never ask." Pippin replied as they shared a kiss.
As Boromir shoved his sword into a small mound of dirt he shouted, "I claim this land for Gondor!"
"I will save you little hobbits, even though I am pin-headed and ugly." Aragorn announced.
Gimli the Dwarf complained, "I can't think here…wait, I don't think anywhere," He looked up puzzledly. The Fellowship passed by Elizabeth and Will.
"Hey, do I know you?" a certain sexy elf, Legolas questioned with his voice as sweet as candy on a stick. "Lookin good," he glanced at Elizabeth. He whispered to Will, "We could have done better."
Norrington yelled, "Get the bloody hell out of my movie!"
"Anywho," the announcer continued, "I now sentence…"
"Ooo, Sexy!' a viewer said looking strait at Legolas in awe. Everyone finished,
"SWIMSUIT!"
"CONTINUING!" The announcer screamed impatiently.
"You know, that reminds me!" the commodore stalled, "I saw this really sexy swimsuit at the mall. It was, like, so fetch that I had to bye it. And, it actually exposed my ankles!"
"ENOUGH!" the announcer broke in, "I sentence thee to be hanged by the neck until dead!"
The commodore felt the rough rope slip over his head.
"Well..."
The trap door fell from under Norrington's feet.
"Well, time for us to leave, my fellow comrades." Gandalf lifted his staff to transport them back to Middle Earth. One by one the fellowship was sucked into the light. Gollum managed to hold on long enough to say a few words.
"Once those filthy hobbitses are dead I'll take those tatters and my precious! AAAAHHHH!"
Norrington escaped from the noose by default, they had forgotten to tighten it so he slipped right out. He was ready for an adventure so while Gollum was finishing he did a quite ungraceful dive into the light of the spear.
Nobody really cared what had just happened. Elizabeth and Jack, in a wave of passion, swept away on Jack's little dingy towards the Black Pearl, leaving Will alone and single, but not for long. Wink, wink.
Fantasized by:
The Bloody Bloom Babies
Characters:
Orlando Bloom
And insignificant others