Author's Notes: Thank you to all of my readers and reviewers! Also, welcome new readers! All questions, comments, and constructive criticism are welcome if you would like to leave a review!
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and the characters and places from the books in the series are copyright JK Rowling. They are not being used for profit, only for personal enjoyment.
*****
Chapter 4
Severus spent the next few days desperately hunting for Lucius Malfoy. Deep down, he knew that his efforts would once again be fruitless, but he had convinced himself that he could not return to his family until he had hunted down the bastard who he feared was a threat to those he loved. By the end of the third day, he knew that he was running out of options, but would not admit to defeat. He would keep searching... starting over from the beginning, if need be. He knew that going back to the beginning meant that he would have to start at the one place he had no desire to return to - the Malfoy estate.
He knew that Draco would not harbor his father. Rather, he feared that if Lucius returned there, the young man would be in grave danger. He knew that Draco had reinforced the wards, yet Lucius was a powerful wizard, and Severus feared for Draco's safety.
For the remainder of the week, Severus Snape was running around the countryside like a man posessed. His obsession with finding Malfoy coupled with his desire to return to his family made him more reckless than he had ever been. Gone was the stealth of the Death Eater spy that he had been for nearly two decades of his life. It didn't help that he had gone another three days without sleep, and had ceased to eat as well.
Severus hadn't been in contact with anybody since he had left so abruptly the other morning, so on the third day he decided to send an owl to Albus, informing him that he was well and that he intended to pay a visit to Draco that evening. After sending the Owl, he had thought of one more place that he wished to search before going to Malfoy Manor.
That evening, Severus was sitting alone at a table in a small pub in a wizarding village near Wales. He had spent the entire afternoon searching the area, and wasn't surprised that he had found no trace of Lucius Malfoy in these parts... it would have been too obvious for the man to hide out in a village where he was known to own a vacation home. Nevertheless, it was one of the few places left that Severus and Remus hadn't already searched thoroughly, and he was not about to leave any stone unturned.
Nursing a firewhiskey, he withdrew a small book from his pocket, as was his habit each evening as he numbed his pain with drink, and gazed longingly at the photos that it held. He smiled at Samuel's baby photos, and sighed regretfully as he turned to the page that held a family picture that had been taken on their wedding day. Gently, he pulled the picture out of the book and held it tight in his hand. Tenderly tracing his thumb over Hermione's features, he murmured her name. His grip tightened on the image as he again vowed to do whatever it would take to protect his family. "Even if it kills me..." he muttered under his breath before slipping the photo into his pocket.
Hearing the door open and sensing a figure approaching him from the side, he fingered the wand in his sleeve as he he tried to catch a peripheral glimpse of the man. Sighing inwardly, he relaxed his grip on the wand when the man spoke, "I was hoping that I would find you here, Severus."
"Lupin," he groaned, "What are you doing here?"
"I've been searching for you for days!" Remus sat down in the chair across from Severus and shook his head, "Merlin, Severus! Don't you know how worried Hermione was to find you gone?"
Severus grunted as he gulped down the remainder of his firewhiskey, "Then you should have stayed there, with her. She needs you now."
"No, Severus... she needs YOU!"
"Stay out of it, Lupin," Severus sneered as he waved the barmaid over to order another drink.
Remus sighed as he tried to meet Severus' haunted eyes, "Why are you doing this, Severus?"
Severus hissed at him, "I need to protect my family!"
"You would do better to protect your family if you were at home with them, rather than wandering around in a drunken stupor trying to track down a madman!" Remus replied angrily.
"I can't go home... not until..."
"And if you never find him, Severus? Do you intend never to return?"
"They're better off without me," Severus snapped before downing another firewhiskey. "I've been foolish to think that I could bury my past, Lupin. That I could live a normal life... have a family..." Severus chuckled dryly, "and selfish for having allowed myself to love them in the first place. It is my love for them that has caused this mess! Can't you see that, Remus? I'm the cause of all of this. They don't need me to endanger them any further."
"Nonsense, Severus. And you know it!"
"I've hurt them again, haven't I?" Severus rubbed his hands wearily over his face, "I've brought nothing but pain to Hermione's life. It's time that I put a stop to it."
"Hermione needs you! Your son misses you... and your second child could arrive any day now!" Remus rose to his feet and rounded on Severus, reaching down to grab his robes and drag him to his feet. Pulling him close, Remus' eyes flashed dangerously, "Go back, Severus... before it's too late."
Severus had never seen Remus like this before... as if he were a breath away from hexing him to Hades. He sighed in resignation as he nodded his reply.
Remus let go, and Severus stumbled drunkenly into his chair, "You need to sober up, Snape!" he growled at him as he stalked over to the bar to retrieve a glass of water. When he turned back to the table, Severus had disappeared without a trace.
Cursing loudly, Remus ran his hand through his hair in frustration. He hadn't the slightest clue where Severus might have gone to, but had a sinking feeling that he hadn't returned to Hogwarts. Eyeing the fireplace in the pub, he asked the barmaid for permission to use the floo. He threw in a fistful of floo powder, and called for Albus Dumbledore.
After a short conversation with the Headmaster, who relayed the details of the owl he had received from Severus that afternoon, Remus quickly left the pub and apparated to Malfor Manor. As he approached the estate, he stumbled across a sight that shook his very soul.
He took off at a panicked run as he cried out, "Severus... NO!"
*****
The last few days of the year flew by, and neither Severus nor Remus had returned by New Year's Eve. Hermione was in no mood to celebrate without Severus, and spent the day in her rooms with her mother keeping her company. They kept themselves occupied entertaining Samuel, who was growing increasingly frustrated with his father's absence. After a long day of comforting him and keeping him distracted, they finally got him settled into bed before Hermione decided that she wanted to go to bed early, herself. She insisted that her mother accept Albus' invitation to the staff party, and had no desire to see in the new year alone, thinking it a much better idea for her to be asleep at midnight.
She had just begun to drift off when she heard a commotion in the corridor. She was easing herself out of the bed when her mother opened the door, trailed by Minerva McGonagall.
"Mum?" Hermione rubbed her hands over her eyes, "What's wrong?"
"You must come with me, Hermione! Professor McGonagall has come to keep an eye on Samuel..."
"What is going on?" Hermione asked nervously as Elizabeth put her arm around her and led her out of the room. She could feel her mother trembling as she led her through the dungeons and up the stairs. When she realized that they were heading for the hospital wing, she stopped dead in her tracks. Turning to her mother, she asked hoarsely, "Severus...?" Elizabeth nodded tearfully, tightening her arm around her daughter as she urged her forward. Hermione wanted to run to him, but her feet felt as though they had been cemented to the floor. Just as she felt her legs getting week, her knees about to give way underneath her, a disheveled Remus stepped into the corridor. Seeing Elizabeth struggling to keep Hermione upright, he rushed forwards and supported Hermione from the other side.
"Easy, Hermione..." he spoke gently as he tightened his hold on her. "Come with me, now..."
She turned to him, her eyes wide in terror, "Remus... what happened...?"
"I don't know... " he looked regretfully into her eyes, "His injuries aren't life threatening, but he needs you now..."
"Injuries...?" she gasped, "Oh... Severus!" Finally, she willed her feet to carry her forward. Upon entering the infirmary, her attention was drawn to a bustle of activity taking place behind closed curtains.
Remus held her back, "Sit down, Hermione. Madame Pomfrey should be out in a few moments."
"I need to see him!" she cried.
"You will... but you have to let Poppy do her job..." he kneeled in front of her and opened his arms to her. Hermione flung herself forward, burying her head in his robes as she sobbed, nearly incoherantly, "I didn't get to tell him... he left without saying goodbye... and I didn't get to tell him... that I love him!"
"He knows that you do, Hermione! Look," Remus reached into his pocket and pulled out a small book. It was the scrapbook full of photos that Hermione had given him for Christmas, "He carried it with him, Hermione..."
Hermione reached out to take the book into her hands, and as she turned the pages, she noticed small smudges on a few of the photos. As her tears fell onto them, she realized that the smudges were caused by teardrops. When she reached the last page, she noticed that one photo was missing. It was their wedding photo.
"It's gone..." she murmured unintelligibly as Remus continued to speak.
"I've tried to convince him to come home, Hermione... but he was determined to find Malfoy first. He didn't care how long it would take, or even if he survived. He only cared about protecting you... and Samuel... and the baby..."
"If he cared about us, then he shouldn't have risked his life!"
"He thought it was the only way..."
"I know..." she mouthed as she closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the chair, "But I need him here with me... we all do!"
She quickly reopened her eyes as she heard the rustle of the bed curtains being drawn back. She looked up just as Madame Pomfrey and the Headmaster approached her, both of them looking grim, even as they tried to smile at her reassuringly.
"How is he?" she asked in a squeaky voice as she tried to stand. Remus and Elizabeth each held out their arms to lend their support.
Madame Pomfrey looked compassionate as she began to speak, "He has suffered a serious head injury, Hermione, resulting in a concussion. He's otherwise uninjured, but it's difficult for me to know the extent of the damage until I have time to observe him. But, until he regains consciousness..."
"He's unconscious?" Hermione cried out.
"Settle down, Hermione! Getting worked up like this is not good for the baby..." Madame Pomfrey chastised her gently, "Now... as I was saying...all I can tell you for sure is that he has suffered a severe concussion. The extent of the damage is not clear at this point. All we can do is wait and see..."
Hermione nodded, "Can I see him now?"
"Of course... but please, don't get yourself over excited. It's not good for you and the baby, and it's not good for my patient!" the nurse said as she led Hermione to Severus' bed.
She gasped as she looked down at his pale figure lying still on the bed. She rushed to him and dropped to her knees, laying her head across his torso, listening to his breathing as she felt the steady rise and fall of his chest.
"Severus..." she whispered, "I'm so sorry..."
She felt a hand on her shoulder, and looked up to see Remus and her mother standing behind her. Elizabeth gently lifted her to her feet as Remus pulled a chair close to the bed for her to sit in. "We'll give you some time alone. Don't worry about Samuel, we'll stay the night with him," he assured her as Elizabeth embraced her.
"Thank you," she whispered and reached to squeeze Remus' hand before they walked away.
Turning back to Severus, she took her hand into his, "I love you, Severus! I'm so sorry that I didn't get to tell you before you left..." she sobbed. "Why did you leave without saying goodbye?"
Reaching to wipe the tears from her face, she tried to control her breathing as she continued, "I won't waste energy being angry with you, Severus. I'm sorry I got angry in the first place... maybe it's the stress... maybe it's the hormones," she chuckled as she shook her head, "Me and my hormones! Remember last year, Severus? The state you found me in after the first week of term?"
"Merlin, Severus! I couldn't handle it alone then... and I certainly can't do it alone now! The baby could be here any day... I need you! We all need you! Please, wake up, love!" When she suddenly realized the time, she moved out of the chair and curled up beside him on the small bed, "Happy New Year, Severus" she murmured against his lips as she kissed him tenderly, before drifting off to sleep beside him.
*****
When she awoke the next morning feeling Severus asleep by her side, Hermione smiled and reached for him. Opening her eyes, she gasped as she suddenly remembered where they were. Not in their own bed, but in a bed in the infirmary. Remembering that she had curled up in bed beside him the night before, she was surprised that Madame Pomfrey hadn't come to shoo her out a long time ago. Sitting up, she suddenly realized that somebody must have enlarged the bed, as she had had trouble squeezing into it next to him last night, but this morning there was room to spare. She eased herself out of the bed, desperately needing to visit the bathroom, just as Madame Pomfrey pulled the curtains aside and approached them. The woman smiled down at Hermione, "Did you sleep well, dear?"
Hermione smiled nervously, "Yes. Thank you for letting me stay..."
"You needed to be with him... and I think your presence will be good for him," Madame Pomfrey reached out and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, "But I must insist now, that you return to your quarters and freshen up. You need to take care of yourself, and your son needs you. You may return after you've had a decent breakfast."
Though she didn't want to step foot out of the infirmary, Hermione knew that it was no use arguing with the woman, "Thank you, Madame Pomfrey," she reached out and embraced Poppy, who returned the fond gesture before ushering Hermione out of the room. She handed her Severus' robes, "You can take these... and would you be so kind as to bring a change of nightclothes for your husband? I know how he hates these hospital gowns," she smiled.
Hermione nodded as she walked out of the room and turned to descend to the dungeons. She paused outside the doorway, clutching Severus' robes as she buried her face into them, her eyes tearing as she inhaled the familiar scent of him. She felt something in the inner breast pocket, and she reached inside to investigate. When she withdrew her hand, she gasped as she realized what she held in her hand. It was their wedding photo... he had removed it from the album to carry it close to his heart.
"Oh, Severus..." she sobbed as she slumped against the wall.
"Hermione!" a worried voice echoed through the corridor. She looked up to see Minerva McGonagall quickly approaching her. The woman tutted at her as she put her arm around her, "Come on, child. Time to go home..."
*****
Minerva left Hermione outside the door of her quarters, "Will you be alright, dear?"
Hermione nodded, "Yes... my mother is here... and Remus..."
Her former professor gave her a gentle hug, "Severus will pull through this, Hermione... just you wait and see!"
Upon entering her quarters, she found Remus and her mother sitting on the sofa, entertaining Samuel with a story book. When the child turned to see her enter, he scooted himself down from the sofa and toddled over to Hermione, his arms stretched out to her as he babbled, "Mummum... Re!" pointing to the sofa, indicating his delight at having a visit from Remus.
She stooped down to open her arms to her son, trying not to sob as she pulled him close to her, "Yes... it's good to see Remus again, isn't it?" Samuel giggled as he wiggled out of her arms and toddled back over to Remus, who smiled as he lifted him back on to the sofa and handed him the book that they had been reading. He looked up at her and asked, "How is Severus?"
She dabbed at her eyes as she mumbled, "No change..."
Elizabeth crossed the room to take her into her arms, "Do you need anything, Hermione? Remus and I were going to take Samuel up to breakfast... but I can stay here with you. I'm sure Remus won't mind bringing something back for us to eat."
"No, Mum... you go ahead. I need to freshen up.... and lie down for a while," her smile faltered for a moment before she continued, "I'll be fine. Just take care of Samuel for me."
She kissed her mother before heading to the bathroom, where she wanted nothing more than to soak in a warm bath. She filled the tub with water and submerged herself into the thick foam of bubbles as she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. She had recently opted for showers, as it was getting harder for her to get out of the tub... she smiled as she remembered the last bath that she had taken. Severus had sat beside her, washing her back that morning. She could almost feel his presence in the room as she allowed her mind to linger on that memory. She soaked until the bubbles evaporated, and sighed as she reluctantly returned to reality. Easing herself out of the tub, she nearly slipped as she stepped onto the floor. Tears came to her eyes as she realized that, if she fell, Severus would not be there to help her.
She didn't even bother to dry off before pulling her dressing gown over her damp body, fighting back tears as she stumbled out of the bathroom where she promptly collapsed onto her bed, "Severus..." she whispered before crying herself to sleep.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and the characters and places from the books in the series are copyright JK Rowling. They are not being used for profit, only for personal enjoyment.
*****
Chapter 4
Severus spent the next few days desperately hunting for Lucius Malfoy. Deep down, he knew that his efforts would once again be fruitless, but he had convinced himself that he could not return to his family until he had hunted down the bastard who he feared was a threat to those he loved. By the end of the third day, he knew that he was running out of options, but would not admit to defeat. He would keep searching... starting over from the beginning, if need be. He knew that going back to the beginning meant that he would have to start at the one place he had no desire to return to - the Malfoy estate.
He knew that Draco would not harbor his father. Rather, he feared that if Lucius returned there, the young man would be in grave danger. He knew that Draco had reinforced the wards, yet Lucius was a powerful wizard, and Severus feared for Draco's safety.
For the remainder of the week, Severus Snape was running around the countryside like a man posessed. His obsession with finding Malfoy coupled with his desire to return to his family made him more reckless than he had ever been. Gone was the stealth of the Death Eater spy that he had been for nearly two decades of his life. It didn't help that he had gone another three days without sleep, and had ceased to eat as well.
Severus hadn't been in contact with anybody since he had left so abruptly the other morning, so on the third day he decided to send an owl to Albus, informing him that he was well and that he intended to pay a visit to Draco that evening. After sending the Owl, he had thought of one more place that he wished to search before going to Malfoy Manor.
That evening, Severus was sitting alone at a table in a small pub in a wizarding village near Wales. He had spent the entire afternoon searching the area, and wasn't surprised that he had found no trace of Lucius Malfoy in these parts... it would have been too obvious for the man to hide out in a village where he was known to own a vacation home. Nevertheless, it was one of the few places left that Severus and Remus hadn't already searched thoroughly, and he was not about to leave any stone unturned.
Nursing a firewhiskey, he withdrew a small book from his pocket, as was his habit each evening as he numbed his pain with drink, and gazed longingly at the photos that it held. He smiled at Samuel's baby photos, and sighed regretfully as he turned to the page that held a family picture that had been taken on their wedding day. Gently, he pulled the picture out of the book and held it tight in his hand. Tenderly tracing his thumb over Hermione's features, he murmured her name. His grip tightened on the image as he again vowed to do whatever it would take to protect his family. "Even if it kills me..." he muttered under his breath before slipping the photo into his pocket.
Hearing the door open and sensing a figure approaching him from the side, he fingered the wand in his sleeve as he he tried to catch a peripheral glimpse of the man. Sighing inwardly, he relaxed his grip on the wand when the man spoke, "I was hoping that I would find you here, Severus."
"Lupin," he groaned, "What are you doing here?"
"I've been searching for you for days!" Remus sat down in the chair across from Severus and shook his head, "Merlin, Severus! Don't you know how worried Hermione was to find you gone?"
Severus grunted as he gulped down the remainder of his firewhiskey, "Then you should have stayed there, with her. She needs you now."
"No, Severus... she needs YOU!"
"Stay out of it, Lupin," Severus sneered as he waved the barmaid over to order another drink.
Remus sighed as he tried to meet Severus' haunted eyes, "Why are you doing this, Severus?"
Severus hissed at him, "I need to protect my family!"
"You would do better to protect your family if you were at home with them, rather than wandering around in a drunken stupor trying to track down a madman!" Remus replied angrily.
"I can't go home... not until..."
"And if you never find him, Severus? Do you intend never to return?"
"They're better off without me," Severus snapped before downing another firewhiskey. "I've been foolish to think that I could bury my past, Lupin. That I could live a normal life... have a family..." Severus chuckled dryly, "and selfish for having allowed myself to love them in the first place. It is my love for them that has caused this mess! Can't you see that, Remus? I'm the cause of all of this. They don't need me to endanger them any further."
"Nonsense, Severus. And you know it!"
"I've hurt them again, haven't I?" Severus rubbed his hands wearily over his face, "I've brought nothing but pain to Hermione's life. It's time that I put a stop to it."
"Hermione needs you! Your son misses you... and your second child could arrive any day now!" Remus rose to his feet and rounded on Severus, reaching down to grab his robes and drag him to his feet. Pulling him close, Remus' eyes flashed dangerously, "Go back, Severus... before it's too late."
Severus had never seen Remus like this before... as if he were a breath away from hexing him to Hades. He sighed in resignation as he nodded his reply.
Remus let go, and Severus stumbled drunkenly into his chair, "You need to sober up, Snape!" he growled at him as he stalked over to the bar to retrieve a glass of water. When he turned back to the table, Severus had disappeared without a trace.
Cursing loudly, Remus ran his hand through his hair in frustration. He hadn't the slightest clue where Severus might have gone to, but had a sinking feeling that he hadn't returned to Hogwarts. Eyeing the fireplace in the pub, he asked the barmaid for permission to use the floo. He threw in a fistful of floo powder, and called for Albus Dumbledore.
After a short conversation with the Headmaster, who relayed the details of the owl he had received from Severus that afternoon, Remus quickly left the pub and apparated to Malfor Manor. As he approached the estate, he stumbled across a sight that shook his very soul.
He took off at a panicked run as he cried out, "Severus... NO!"
*****
The last few days of the year flew by, and neither Severus nor Remus had returned by New Year's Eve. Hermione was in no mood to celebrate without Severus, and spent the day in her rooms with her mother keeping her company. They kept themselves occupied entertaining Samuel, who was growing increasingly frustrated with his father's absence. After a long day of comforting him and keeping him distracted, they finally got him settled into bed before Hermione decided that she wanted to go to bed early, herself. She insisted that her mother accept Albus' invitation to the staff party, and had no desire to see in the new year alone, thinking it a much better idea for her to be asleep at midnight.
She had just begun to drift off when she heard a commotion in the corridor. She was easing herself out of the bed when her mother opened the door, trailed by Minerva McGonagall.
"Mum?" Hermione rubbed her hands over her eyes, "What's wrong?"
"You must come with me, Hermione! Professor McGonagall has come to keep an eye on Samuel..."
"What is going on?" Hermione asked nervously as Elizabeth put her arm around her and led her out of the room. She could feel her mother trembling as she led her through the dungeons and up the stairs. When she realized that they were heading for the hospital wing, she stopped dead in her tracks. Turning to her mother, she asked hoarsely, "Severus...?" Elizabeth nodded tearfully, tightening her arm around her daughter as she urged her forward. Hermione wanted to run to him, but her feet felt as though they had been cemented to the floor. Just as she felt her legs getting week, her knees about to give way underneath her, a disheveled Remus stepped into the corridor. Seeing Elizabeth struggling to keep Hermione upright, he rushed forwards and supported Hermione from the other side.
"Easy, Hermione..." he spoke gently as he tightened his hold on her. "Come with me, now..."
She turned to him, her eyes wide in terror, "Remus... what happened...?"
"I don't know... " he looked regretfully into her eyes, "His injuries aren't life threatening, but he needs you now..."
"Injuries...?" she gasped, "Oh... Severus!" Finally, she willed her feet to carry her forward. Upon entering the infirmary, her attention was drawn to a bustle of activity taking place behind closed curtains.
Remus held her back, "Sit down, Hermione. Madame Pomfrey should be out in a few moments."
"I need to see him!" she cried.
"You will... but you have to let Poppy do her job..." he kneeled in front of her and opened his arms to her. Hermione flung herself forward, burying her head in his robes as she sobbed, nearly incoherantly, "I didn't get to tell him... he left without saying goodbye... and I didn't get to tell him... that I love him!"
"He knows that you do, Hermione! Look," Remus reached into his pocket and pulled out a small book. It was the scrapbook full of photos that Hermione had given him for Christmas, "He carried it with him, Hermione..."
Hermione reached out to take the book into her hands, and as she turned the pages, she noticed small smudges on a few of the photos. As her tears fell onto them, she realized that the smudges were caused by teardrops. When she reached the last page, she noticed that one photo was missing. It was their wedding photo.
"It's gone..." she murmured unintelligibly as Remus continued to speak.
"I've tried to convince him to come home, Hermione... but he was determined to find Malfoy first. He didn't care how long it would take, or even if he survived. He only cared about protecting you... and Samuel... and the baby..."
"If he cared about us, then he shouldn't have risked his life!"
"He thought it was the only way..."
"I know..." she mouthed as she closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the chair, "But I need him here with me... we all do!"
She quickly reopened her eyes as she heard the rustle of the bed curtains being drawn back. She looked up just as Madame Pomfrey and the Headmaster approached her, both of them looking grim, even as they tried to smile at her reassuringly.
"How is he?" she asked in a squeaky voice as she tried to stand. Remus and Elizabeth each held out their arms to lend their support.
Madame Pomfrey looked compassionate as she began to speak, "He has suffered a serious head injury, Hermione, resulting in a concussion. He's otherwise uninjured, but it's difficult for me to know the extent of the damage until I have time to observe him. But, until he regains consciousness..."
"He's unconscious?" Hermione cried out.
"Settle down, Hermione! Getting worked up like this is not good for the baby..." Madame Pomfrey chastised her gently, "Now... as I was saying...all I can tell you for sure is that he has suffered a severe concussion. The extent of the damage is not clear at this point. All we can do is wait and see..."
Hermione nodded, "Can I see him now?"
"Of course... but please, don't get yourself over excited. It's not good for you and the baby, and it's not good for my patient!" the nurse said as she led Hermione to Severus' bed.
She gasped as she looked down at his pale figure lying still on the bed. She rushed to him and dropped to her knees, laying her head across his torso, listening to his breathing as she felt the steady rise and fall of his chest.
"Severus..." she whispered, "I'm so sorry..."
She felt a hand on her shoulder, and looked up to see Remus and her mother standing behind her. Elizabeth gently lifted her to her feet as Remus pulled a chair close to the bed for her to sit in. "We'll give you some time alone. Don't worry about Samuel, we'll stay the night with him," he assured her as Elizabeth embraced her.
"Thank you," she whispered and reached to squeeze Remus' hand before they walked away.
Turning back to Severus, she took her hand into his, "I love you, Severus! I'm so sorry that I didn't get to tell you before you left..." she sobbed. "Why did you leave without saying goodbye?"
Reaching to wipe the tears from her face, she tried to control her breathing as she continued, "I won't waste energy being angry with you, Severus. I'm sorry I got angry in the first place... maybe it's the stress... maybe it's the hormones," she chuckled as she shook her head, "Me and my hormones! Remember last year, Severus? The state you found me in after the first week of term?"
"Merlin, Severus! I couldn't handle it alone then... and I certainly can't do it alone now! The baby could be here any day... I need you! We all need you! Please, wake up, love!" When she suddenly realized the time, she moved out of the chair and curled up beside him on the small bed, "Happy New Year, Severus" she murmured against his lips as she kissed him tenderly, before drifting off to sleep beside him.
*****
When she awoke the next morning feeling Severus asleep by her side, Hermione smiled and reached for him. Opening her eyes, she gasped as she suddenly remembered where they were. Not in their own bed, but in a bed in the infirmary. Remembering that she had curled up in bed beside him the night before, she was surprised that Madame Pomfrey hadn't come to shoo her out a long time ago. Sitting up, she suddenly realized that somebody must have enlarged the bed, as she had had trouble squeezing into it next to him last night, but this morning there was room to spare. She eased herself out of the bed, desperately needing to visit the bathroom, just as Madame Pomfrey pulled the curtains aside and approached them. The woman smiled down at Hermione, "Did you sleep well, dear?"
Hermione smiled nervously, "Yes. Thank you for letting me stay..."
"You needed to be with him... and I think your presence will be good for him," Madame Pomfrey reached out and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, "But I must insist now, that you return to your quarters and freshen up. You need to take care of yourself, and your son needs you. You may return after you've had a decent breakfast."
Though she didn't want to step foot out of the infirmary, Hermione knew that it was no use arguing with the woman, "Thank you, Madame Pomfrey," she reached out and embraced Poppy, who returned the fond gesture before ushering Hermione out of the room. She handed her Severus' robes, "You can take these... and would you be so kind as to bring a change of nightclothes for your husband? I know how he hates these hospital gowns," she smiled.
Hermione nodded as she walked out of the room and turned to descend to the dungeons. She paused outside the doorway, clutching Severus' robes as she buried her face into them, her eyes tearing as she inhaled the familiar scent of him. She felt something in the inner breast pocket, and she reached inside to investigate. When she withdrew her hand, she gasped as she realized what she held in her hand. It was their wedding photo... he had removed it from the album to carry it close to his heart.
"Oh, Severus..." she sobbed as she slumped against the wall.
"Hermione!" a worried voice echoed through the corridor. She looked up to see Minerva McGonagall quickly approaching her. The woman tutted at her as she put her arm around her, "Come on, child. Time to go home..."
*****
Minerva left Hermione outside the door of her quarters, "Will you be alright, dear?"
Hermione nodded, "Yes... my mother is here... and Remus..."
Her former professor gave her a gentle hug, "Severus will pull through this, Hermione... just you wait and see!"
Upon entering her quarters, she found Remus and her mother sitting on the sofa, entertaining Samuel with a story book. When the child turned to see her enter, he scooted himself down from the sofa and toddled over to Hermione, his arms stretched out to her as he babbled, "Mummum... Re!" pointing to the sofa, indicating his delight at having a visit from Remus.
She stooped down to open her arms to her son, trying not to sob as she pulled him close to her, "Yes... it's good to see Remus again, isn't it?" Samuel giggled as he wiggled out of her arms and toddled back over to Remus, who smiled as he lifted him back on to the sofa and handed him the book that they had been reading. He looked up at her and asked, "How is Severus?"
She dabbed at her eyes as she mumbled, "No change..."
Elizabeth crossed the room to take her into her arms, "Do you need anything, Hermione? Remus and I were going to take Samuel up to breakfast... but I can stay here with you. I'm sure Remus won't mind bringing something back for us to eat."
"No, Mum... you go ahead. I need to freshen up.... and lie down for a while," her smile faltered for a moment before she continued, "I'll be fine. Just take care of Samuel for me."
She kissed her mother before heading to the bathroom, where she wanted nothing more than to soak in a warm bath. She filled the tub with water and submerged herself into the thick foam of bubbles as she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. She had recently opted for showers, as it was getting harder for her to get out of the tub... she smiled as she remembered the last bath that she had taken. Severus had sat beside her, washing her back that morning. She could almost feel his presence in the room as she allowed her mind to linger on that memory. She soaked until the bubbles evaporated, and sighed as she reluctantly returned to reality. Easing herself out of the tub, she nearly slipped as she stepped onto the floor. Tears came to her eyes as she realized that, if she fell, Severus would not be there to help her.
She didn't even bother to dry off before pulling her dressing gown over her damp body, fighting back tears as she stumbled out of the bathroom where she promptly collapsed onto her bed, "Severus..." she whispered before crying herself to sleep.