Title: Abandon all Hope
By Joy
A/N: I know that some people get depressed around the holidays, so I wrote a little story about Harry's depression and Ginny's attempt to give him some perspective on his situation. I offer to you this piece to consider.
Ginny Weasley had had enough. She tumbled out of the hearth and headed for Harry's room. "Ginny?" her mother called.
Ron was sitting in the hall looking very depressed at Hermione, who was crying. "He doesn't want to see anyone," she hiccupped.
"Tough," Ginny fumed and went inside.
Gin knew the routine. It had begun last year and progressed. He said he didn't want to see anybody but wouldn't lock the door. He wouldn't come down to meals but would only eat if someone sat with him, which nine times out of ten was Ginny. She stomped over to his desk grabbing parchment and ink along with a lap desk.
"Sit up," Ginevra Weasley commanded.
"Leave me be Gin," Harry said from under his pillow.
Ginny ripped the pillow from his head and man handled him to a sitting position. She laid the lap desk down, placed the ink and quills on the night table and then laid the parchment before him.
"I am going to say words and you are going to right them down," Gin barked.
"I am not going to write down, 'its not my fault' fifty times Gin," Harry growled.
"Why would I have you write that? It's obvious you aren't going to believe it so to hell with that message. I'm past trying that approach. No this is something else... Now write."
Harry sighed and picked up the pen as Ginny began to recite.
"RACHEL RACINDA'S SMALL SISTER MELINDAS HAD COME TO THE END OF HER ROPE."
Harry looked at her like she was nuts. "Write it down Harry."
"I have no idea how to spell those names."
Ginny shook her head, "It really doesn't matter."
"Fine...Rachel Recinder's small sister Melinda had come to the end of her rope."
Ginny smiled and continued, "TRYING AND VYING AND SIGHING AND CRYING AND DYING TO MEET THE BOY, "HOPE."
Harry raised an eyebrow but Ginny only nudged him. "Trying & vying & crying..."
"You forgot 'sighing'," Ginny commented.
Harry huffed, "Trying & vying & sighing & crying & dying to meet the boy, 'Hope'."
"BUT MELINDAS STAYED FIRMLY AND TIGHTLY SECURE
INSIDE HER HOUSE WHERE HER LIFE COULD BE SURE."
Harry stared at his friend a moment. "Are you commenting on my life Ginny?" he asked.
"Write Harry."
"No."
"Yes..." she glared.
Harry sighed and picked up the quill. "But Melinda's stayed firmly and tightly secure...Inside her house where her life could be sure."
Ginny paused before reciting more. They were getting to the hard stuff.
"THE WINDOWS WERE BOLTED AND DOORS THEY WERE LOCKED
AND EVERY DAY HOPE CAME TO VISIT AND KNOCKED,
BUT RACHEL RACINDA'S SMALL SISTER MELINDAS
MADE CERTAIN THE ENTRANCE WAS BLOCKED."
Harry put the quill down, "Where is this going Ginny?"
"Just write Harry... I need you to see something."
He sighed and wrote the words with Ginny repeating the lines.
Big brown eyes drilled into Harry's green ones as she sadly narrated the next stanza, "HE COULDN'T COME IN AND SHE COULDN'T COME OUT,
NO MATTER HOW LOUDLY SHE'D SCREAM AND HE'D SHOUT.
THE WALLS WERE TOO THICK AND THE GLASS WAS TOO STRONG.
AND EVEN THOUGH BOTH OF THEM KNEW IT WAS WRONG,
RACHEL RACINDA'S SMALL SISTER MELINDAS
HAD BEEN IN HER HOUSE FOR TOO LONG."
They shared a long look as Harry reread the words he had already written. It was getting to him. These words were getting to him. He was afraid of what would come next. "Gin..."
"It's okay Harry. Listen." Ginny laid her hand on his shoulder.
"SHE SAW HERSELF UGLY AND CALLED HERSELF DUMB.
BUT HOPE HAD SEEN BEAUTY AND BRILLIANCE AND FUN.
THE WORLD WAS TOO SCARY SHE WOULDN'T PARTAKE,
BUT HOPE TALKED OF WHAT A FINE LEADER SHE'D MAKE."
Harry laughed bitterly. Ginny sort of nodded knowingly. "Just write Harry."
"SHE LOWERED THE SHADE AND SHE FASTENED THE CURTAIN.
HER FUTURE WAS SCARY AND LOVE WAS UNCERTAIN.
AND RACHEL RACINDA'S SMALL SISTER MELINDAS
KNEW ALL SHE HAD KNOWN WAS AT STAKE." Harry felt fear coiling inside him. She was offering him love...even if it wasn't love he necessarily wanted from her.
"How does it end Ginny?" Harry whispered.
"Not happily I'm afraid. I guess that's why I'm making you listen now. Before its' too late," she whispered rubbing his arm as her eyes got slightly teary.
"Too late for what?" he responded.
"Keep writing Harry." He gingerly picked up the quill again.
"NO MATTER HOW HOPE BEGGED HER PLEASE TO COME OUT,
SHE VALUED HER FEARS AND SHE TRUSTED HER DOUBT.
AND SOON EVEN SHE COULDN'T OPEN THE LOCK,
OR BREAK OUT THE WINDOW OR TURN BACK THE CLOCK,
OR LET HOPE COME INSIDE AND SHOW HER HIS CARE."
Ginny's eyes were filled with unshed tears...tears for him.
"HER HOUSE WAS TOO SOLID,
HER HOUSE WAS DESPAIR.
AND RACHEL RACINDA'S SMALL SISTER MELINDAS
WAS USED TO HER LIFE AND STAYED THERE."
Harry swallowed shallowly letting the words he had written sink in. He was used to despair. He was used to heartache. Sirius had been this shining light that linked him to his family. Harry had loved him and now he was gone. He couldn't help but beat himself up over the loss of his godfather. Harry knew Sirius wouldn't have blamed him or hated him or even wanted him to carry on as he had been. Sirius would have wanted the Marauder blood in him to shine through.
Harry almost forgot Gin was there until she stilled his quill and crouched down to look deep in his eyes. Her palms found his cheeks and she held them lightly. Ginny cleared her throat and finished the lyrics.
"SHE TALKED OF ADVENTURE BUT DREAMED FROM INSIDE.
AND MOST OF THE DAYS WELL SHE SLEPT OR SHE CRIED.
AND EVEN THOUGH HOPE AND THE OTHERS HAD TRIED,
RACHEL RACINDA'S SMALL SISTER MELINDAS
LEARNED EARLY AND WELL HOW TO HIDE."
"Stop hiding Harry," Ginny whispered before getting to her feet and kissing his forehead. She went to leave but Harry had looped his arms around her waist.
"Don't leave," he murmured. Ginny nodded and settled herself on the bed next to him. Gin held Harry close as he cried silently on her shoulder.
An hour later Harry was gazing down at Ginny who had fallen asleep in his arms. She had told him all about the song. How she had heard a song by this little band and went to their website on a Muggle computer. She read the lyrics of several songs but she came to Rachel Racinda and knew that was his song. Gin somehow knew those words would wake him up. And they had.
Harry touched her face softly and whispered, "My Hope," and in her sleep Ginny smiled. One day maybe it would be Love but for right now Hope would be good enough.
Finite.
(The group Lost and Found wrote Rachel Racinda)
Dedicated to a friend I loved that didn't make it out of his depression.
Please REVIEW. Please REVIEW.