Let Me Be the One
A/N: Thank you all SO much for the reviews. 3
Chapter Thirteen- The Ups and Downs
One more, just one more cut, Ellie thought to herself as she got ready to go to school the next morning. It won't make a difference, anyways.
Quickly, she rolled up her black sleeve, revealing dozens of red marks that marred her skin. She grabbed her compass, and traced a line across a small section of clean skin. She watched as the blood oozed out. Afterwards, she cleaned up and then headed off to school, feeling much better.
Her mood soon changed when she reached the steps of Degrassi. She hated the feeling school gave her.
Thank God it's Friday, she thought and made her way into the building. Once she reached her locker, Ashley came storming towards her.
"I hate him! I really, truly hate him!" she cried. "I can't believe it! He's such scum!"
"Whoa, calm down, Ash," Ellie said. "Now, what happened?"
"Craig. I thought he really did care about me. But then last night he sent me an e-mail saying that it would be better if we were just friends. Can you believe him? Yeah right, how can I be just friends with him?!" she exclaimed. "I hate guys."
Ellie sighed. Not this again. "Doesn't that maybe tell you something?"
"What?"
"That maybe you and Craig are two completely different people and need to just, I don't know...get away from each other?" Ellie suggested, trying not to sound harsh.
"Thanks a lot, El. You wouldn't understand. I love him."
"I wouldn't understand?" Ellie questioned.
"Yeah, you've never been in love," Ashley said knowingly.
"How would you know that?"
"Hello? We're best friends," she told her.
Ellie snorted. She may not have ever been in love, but how in the hell would Ashley know that? It's not like she knew her whole life story.
She shrugged, grabbed her stuff, and headed off to homeroom.
"Hey, Ellie, sit right here," a voice said.
She looked at Spinner. Did she hear correctly? Paige was on his right, and he tapped the seat on his left. Warily, she walked over to the seat.
This better not be some kind of trick, she thought.
She sat down and said, "So, Gavin, you actually don't mind if people see us sitting together?"
Spinner shook his head. "I was wrong about you, Ellie Nash."
"Besides," Paige quipped, "Jimmy's got to sit somewhere." She nodded at the empty seat next to Ellie. Ellie gave her a look and Paige giggled.
"Don't even try to set me up, you guys. I think I'm perfectly capable of finding a boyfriend myself," Ellie told them.
Paige shrugged. "Just trying to help a friend out."
Wait, did she say friend?
"And, plus," she continued, "you two would make a cute couple. You know you like him."
Ellie shook her head. "He's just a friend," she said faintly.
"A very good friend at that," Spinner added.
Moments later, Jimmy came into the room. And just as Paige and Spinner expected, he took the seat next to her. They all said their hello's, when Hazel Aden came in. Obviously expecting a seat with Paige and Posse, you could see the hurt look on her face when she saw that Ellie had taken her usual seat. Hazel walked over to the other side of the room, not saying a word the group. Paige would have to explain her reasons for exiling Hazel, but she tried not to let that cross her brain. This was part of her mission to bring together Jimmy and Ellie.
"Okay, now I feel really bad," Ellie said.
"It's fine. Hazel will totally understand. Tomorrow we can save a seat for her. No problem," Paige told Ellie.
She shrugged, but felt out of place the rest of the class. Jimmy hardly talked to her, just as he did the previous day. Something seemed to be really bothering him, and she wanted to ask, but she wasn't quite sure she'd want to hear the response, so she let it go. She wanted more than anything to be able to start a conversation with him, but something made her reluctant.
---------
While Ellie shut her locker, ready for her lunch period, Marco came up to her.
"Hey, El, what's up?" he greeted.
"Lunch," she said. "Yourself?"
"Nothing. Hey, some of us are meeting at my place after school. Want to come?" he asked her.
"Um," Ellie thought for a moment. "I guess I can. I'll have to check."
Wow, she had never been as social as she had been in the past couple of weeks. It scared her, yet she was glad for the change. For once, she felt accepted. This was by far one of the greatest days of life.
She took a few minutes and called her mother and told her about the plans she had made. Her mother, hardly sober, bitched about how Ellie never did anything to help her and then mumbled a 'whatever'.
"You do whatever you want anyways," she snapped and hung up on her daughter.
Ellie felt sulky the rest of the day. She entered her last class of the day with a frown on her face. She took a seat next to Marco and threw her bag on the ground.
"Bad day?" he asked.
She shrugged. "I guess. Oh well, only one more class period."
Marco nodded his agreement and sympathy. Jimmy came in a few seconds later and sat down in the empty seat next to Ellie. They said their greetings and there was an awkward silence, until Jimmy asked, "You feelin' all right?"
She gave a half-smile. "I'm good."
"So you gonna be there at Marco's today?" he questioned.
She nodded and his face lit up. "Alright. Cool," was his reply.
------
"Dude, like get some real food," Spinner complained as he dug through the pantry of the Del Rossi's home after school.
"Spin, maybe if you ate something other than cheese you might actually like some of the food I have," Marco shot back.
Spinner thought for a moment. "Nah," he said.
Spinner, Marco, Craig, Jimmy, Ellie and Paige sat in the kitchen of Marco's house, lounging. Ellie and Jimmy were tossing a tennis ball back and forth, Spinner was digging through the fridge, Paige was begging Ellie to let her do her nails, and Craig was sitting down, messing with his guitar.
"Okay, Ellie, hon, if you won't let me do your hair can I at least do your nails? I'll even paint them black if you want. Though I think a magenta color would look nice with your hair and complexion..." Paige said.
Ellie rolled her eyes. "No thanks, Barbie," she joked. Paige and Ellie had almost broken through their 'uncomfortable, I-don't-know-where-we- stand' stage, but not quite. It was a little awkward sometimes, but Ellie still felt like she could mess with Paige, even though more often than not she meant the things she said. She just displayed them in a joking way.
Paige sighed. "Okay, you guys are seriously boring me to death."
"Bye, Paige. I'd write you a eulogy, but there's nothing that great to say about you anyways," Ellie remarked.
Paige took a grape from the bowl of fruit resting on the counter and chucked it at Ellie's head.
"You have good aim. I'm surprised," she said again. She couldn't help it. The snippy comments were too much fun.
"Damn you, Nash," Paige replied.
"So, Manning, I heard you broke Ashley's heart again," Ellie said casually. Craig looked a little embarrassed. Oops.
"I...I didn't mean to. I just don't think we're right for each other," he explained briefly.
"Make that two of us," Ellie agreed.
Mr. and Mrs. Del Rossi came home about a half an hour later and sent all of the kids outside. They walked down the street that Marco lived on, just relaxing and talking. As they made their way around the corner, Jimmy pulled Ellie aside and clasped his hand with hers. She was surprised at first, but gained control of herself again after a few seconds. She watched as Paige, Spinner, Marco and Craig disappeared down the street.
They sat down on the curb of the street and began to talk. They talked about nothing of real importance, just who they were, what they liked. It all seemed like a big blur to Ellie. She realized, though, that in those moments that her and Jimmy were exactly alike, yet dissimilar at the same time. They had the same views on some things, but their tastes were completely different. He was into rap and hip hop, and she more towards rock and emo. But something about talking to him made her want to be into the same things he was...as if to impress him or something.
She didn't like that she was thinking that way. Why should she change for anyone? She dismissed those thoughts and focused more on the person that Jimmy was. They could completely relate to each other when it came to family. Neither of them had parents that cared very much, so they knew what it was like to spend time on their own and get used to loneliness.
Ellie felt a strange comfort being around Jimmy and all she wanted was for him to put his arms around her. He never did, and as they walked back to Marco's house, she wished she had done something to let him know she cared about him more than he thought. But that didn't happen, and for that she was angry with herself.
A/N: Thank you all SO much for the reviews. 3
Chapter Thirteen- The Ups and Downs
One more, just one more cut, Ellie thought to herself as she got ready to go to school the next morning. It won't make a difference, anyways.
Quickly, she rolled up her black sleeve, revealing dozens of red marks that marred her skin. She grabbed her compass, and traced a line across a small section of clean skin. She watched as the blood oozed out. Afterwards, she cleaned up and then headed off to school, feeling much better.
Her mood soon changed when she reached the steps of Degrassi. She hated the feeling school gave her.
Thank God it's Friday, she thought and made her way into the building. Once she reached her locker, Ashley came storming towards her.
"I hate him! I really, truly hate him!" she cried. "I can't believe it! He's such scum!"
"Whoa, calm down, Ash," Ellie said. "Now, what happened?"
"Craig. I thought he really did care about me. But then last night he sent me an e-mail saying that it would be better if we were just friends. Can you believe him? Yeah right, how can I be just friends with him?!" she exclaimed. "I hate guys."
Ellie sighed. Not this again. "Doesn't that maybe tell you something?"
"What?"
"That maybe you and Craig are two completely different people and need to just, I don't know...get away from each other?" Ellie suggested, trying not to sound harsh.
"Thanks a lot, El. You wouldn't understand. I love him."
"I wouldn't understand?" Ellie questioned.
"Yeah, you've never been in love," Ashley said knowingly.
"How would you know that?"
"Hello? We're best friends," she told her.
Ellie snorted. She may not have ever been in love, but how in the hell would Ashley know that? It's not like she knew her whole life story.
She shrugged, grabbed her stuff, and headed off to homeroom.
"Hey, Ellie, sit right here," a voice said.
She looked at Spinner. Did she hear correctly? Paige was on his right, and he tapped the seat on his left. Warily, she walked over to the seat.
This better not be some kind of trick, she thought.
She sat down and said, "So, Gavin, you actually don't mind if people see us sitting together?"
Spinner shook his head. "I was wrong about you, Ellie Nash."
"Besides," Paige quipped, "Jimmy's got to sit somewhere." She nodded at the empty seat next to Ellie. Ellie gave her a look and Paige giggled.
"Don't even try to set me up, you guys. I think I'm perfectly capable of finding a boyfriend myself," Ellie told them.
Paige shrugged. "Just trying to help a friend out."
Wait, did she say friend?
"And, plus," she continued, "you two would make a cute couple. You know you like him."
Ellie shook her head. "He's just a friend," she said faintly.
"A very good friend at that," Spinner added.
Moments later, Jimmy came into the room. And just as Paige and Spinner expected, he took the seat next to her. They all said their hello's, when Hazel Aden came in. Obviously expecting a seat with Paige and Posse, you could see the hurt look on her face when she saw that Ellie had taken her usual seat. Hazel walked over to the other side of the room, not saying a word the group. Paige would have to explain her reasons for exiling Hazel, but she tried not to let that cross her brain. This was part of her mission to bring together Jimmy and Ellie.
"Okay, now I feel really bad," Ellie said.
"It's fine. Hazel will totally understand. Tomorrow we can save a seat for her. No problem," Paige told Ellie.
She shrugged, but felt out of place the rest of the class. Jimmy hardly talked to her, just as he did the previous day. Something seemed to be really bothering him, and she wanted to ask, but she wasn't quite sure she'd want to hear the response, so she let it go. She wanted more than anything to be able to start a conversation with him, but something made her reluctant.
---------
While Ellie shut her locker, ready for her lunch period, Marco came up to her.
"Hey, El, what's up?" he greeted.
"Lunch," she said. "Yourself?"
"Nothing. Hey, some of us are meeting at my place after school. Want to come?" he asked her.
"Um," Ellie thought for a moment. "I guess I can. I'll have to check."
Wow, she had never been as social as she had been in the past couple of weeks. It scared her, yet she was glad for the change. For once, she felt accepted. This was by far one of the greatest days of life.
She took a few minutes and called her mother and told her about the plans she had made. Her mother, hardly sober, bitched about how Ellie never did anything to help her and then mumbled a 'whatever'.
"You do whatever you want anyways," she snapped and hung up on her daughter.
Ellie felt sulky the rest of the day. She entered her last class of the day with a frown on her face. She took a seat next to Marco and threw her bag on the ground.
"Bad day?" he asked.
She shrugged. "I guess. Oh well, only one more class period."
Marco nodded his agreement and sympathy. Jimmy came in a few seconds later and sat down in the empty seat next to Ellie. They said their greetings and there was an awkward silence, until Jimmy asked, "You feelin' all right?"
She gave a half-smile. "I'm good."
"So you gonna be there at Marco's today?" he questioned.
She nodded and his face lit up. "Alright. Cool," was his reply.
------
"Dude, like get some real food," Spinner complained as he dug through the pantry of the Del Rossi's home after school.
"Spin, maybe if you ate something other than cheese you might actually like some of the food I have," Marco shot back.
Spinner thought for a moment. "Nah," he said.
Spinner, Marco, Craig, Jimmy, Ellie and Paige sat in the kitchen of Marco's house, lounging. Ellie and Jimmy were tossing a tennis ball back and forth, Spinner was digging through the fridge, Paige was begging Ellie to let her do her nails, and Craig was sitting down, messing with his guitar.
"Okay, Ellie, hon, if you won't let me do your hair can I at least do your nails? I'll even paint them black if you want. Though I think a magenta color would look nice with your hair and complexion..." Paige said.
Ellie rolled her eyes. "No thanks, Barbie," she joked. Paige and Ellie had almost broken through their 'uncomfortable, I-don't-know-where-we- stand' stage, but not quite. It was a little awkward sometimes, but Ellie still felt like she could mess with Paige, even though more often than not she meant the things she said. She just displayed them in a joking way.
Paige sighed. "Okay, you guys are seriously boring me to death."
"Bye, Paige. I'd write you a eulogy, but there's nothing that great to say about you anyways," Ellie remarked.
Paige took a grape from the bowl of fruit resting on the counter and chucked it at Ellie's head.
"You have good aim. I'm surprised," she said again. She couldn't help it. The snippy comments were too much fun.
"Damn you, Nash," Paige replied.
"So, Manning, I heard you broke Ashley's heart again," Ellie said casually. Craig looked a little embarrassed. Oops.
"I...I didn't mean to. I just don't think we're right for each other," he explained briefly.
"Make that two of us," Ellie agreed.
Mr. and Mrs. Del Rossi came home about a half an hour later and sent all of the kids outside. They walked down the street that Marco lived on, just relaxing and talking. As they made their way around the corner, Jimmy pulled Ellie aside and clasped his hand with hers. She was surprised at first, but gained control of herself again after a few seconds. She watched as Paige, Spinner, Marco and Craig disappeared down the street.
They sat down on the curb of the street and began to talk. They talked about nothing of real importance, just who they were, what they liked. It all seemed like a big blur to Ellie. She realized, though, that in those moments that her and Jimmy were exactly alike, yet dissimilar at the same time. They had the same views on some things, but their tastes were completely different. He was into rap and hip hop, and she more towards rock and emo. But something about talking to him made her want to be into the same things he was...as if to impress him or something.
She didn't like that she was thinking that way. Why should she change for anyone? She dismissed those thoughts and focused more on the person that Jimmy was. They could completely relate to each other when it came to family. Neither of them had parents that cared very much, so they knew what it was like to spend time on their own and get used to loneliness.
Ellie felt a strange comfort being around Jimmy and all she wanted was for him to put his arms around her. He never did, and as they walked back to Marco's house, she wished she had done something to let him know she cared about him more than he thought. But that didn't happen, and for that she was angry with herself.