Chapter Twenty- Shattered

"So, there's, um, something I wanted to talk to you about," Manny said nervously as she stood before JT Wednesday morning. JT stood next to his locker, grabbing a textbook and then carelessly slamming the locker door.

"What is it now, Manny?" he said, his voice filled with a mixture of disbelief in anger.

"I just..." she sighed. "I don't know how to say this." She stared down at the tiles of the floor shifting her weight from her right to her left.

"Well, spit it out. I don't have all day," he snapped.

Her head immediately jolted up, so she was staring him in the eyes. "Look, I know you hate me, but—"

"I don't hate you," he said, his voice lowering a bit. "I hate the way you're treating me."

She took in a deep breath. "I know. I'm sorry. But that doesn't mean anything anymore, right? Look...I just wanted to tell you that it's probably best if we just end this right now."

"So you don't want to go to the dance together?" he said, more as statement rather than a question.

She shook her head, tears filling her dark eyes. She shook her head slightly. "I can't."

"Of course. Because it's always about you," he said coldly, and walked right past her.

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Ellie sat in the practically empty English classroom that morning, staring at the fresh marks now drawn into her arm, as she waited for Mrs. Kwan and the other students to enter so they could start the lesson.

Her mind seemed to be somewhere else, as she hardly noticed the figure hovering over her.

"Ellie?" a surprised voice said.

She snapped out of her daydreaming so fast she almost fell out of her chair.

"Oh, hey, Jimmy," she said brightly, pulling her black sleeve down over her arm. Oh, please if there's a God out there, please tell me he didn't see the cuts, please, she begged silently.

"We need to talk," he said shortly, and took her hand as they exited the classroom.

"Jimmy, where are we going?" she demanded softly, not in the mood to put up a fight.

They walked outside, where they both took a seat on the school steps.

"Ellie, I can't take this anymore," he stated.

She looked up at him. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"What do you think?" he replied. When she didn't answer he added, "The cutting thing. It has to stop, El."

"Who are you? My mother or my boyfriend?" she growled.

As soon as she said those words, she immediately wished she could take them back. Never had she called him her boyfriend before, nor had he ever called her his girlfriend. With them it just was. There was no labeling on their relationship. She felt herself blush and look away.

Jimmy didn't to even notice. He kept on. "This is stupid, Ellie. I can't stand to see you hurting yourself. Why?"

"Because what else is there, Jimmy? If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm a freak. A loser. A psychopath who can't control herself. Whatever. Everyone else hates me, you might as well, too," she told him.

"What are you talking about?"

"All you've been doing the past couple days has been questions me about...about...you know! And it's getting so irritating. You're supposed to be my friend, not my counselor," she barked.

"That's what you need, El! I'm trying my best to understand where you're coming from, but I don't get it."

"You're not supposed to," she said, her lip trembling as she fought back tears. "Look, just forget it, okay?"

She started to walk away, but Jimmy grabbed her arm. His hands held her head and he kissed her gently.

"You can't tell me this doesn't mean anything," Jimmy said, his voice barely audible.

Ellie's eyes were wide and she didn't speak for a few seconds. Finally, she blinked and replied, "We all have problems. You don't need to be involved with mine. I'm sorry."

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She sprinted up the stairs to her bedroom the second she got home. Hurriedly, she locked the door and went into her bathroom. There she pulled out a razor, sat on her toilet, and began adding more and more cuts and scars to her already beat up arms.

Tears flowed down her face as she thought of everything going on in her life. She averted her attention back to her arm seconds later, seeing the blood rushing out of her arm in larger amounts than she had ever experienced. She began to clean up the mess, but all she could see was red.

"Shit," she mumbled, almost panicking.

"Ellie!" she heard her dad calling from outside her door.

She jumped slightly, and then began to wrap her arm. "I'm in the bathroom, dad," she called.

"Well, there's a phone call for you. Paige, I think."

"Give me a minute!"

She cleaned up the mess she had made the best she could, but noticed the blood stain in the carpet as she got on all fours to wipe up.

"Just my luck," she muttered, then exited the bathroom, pulling her arm warmers over her bandaged arm, and went to grab the phone.

She didn't acknowledge her father as she took the phone from him.

"Hey," Ellie greeted, as she pressed the phone to her ear.

"El, please inform me on what's going on," Paige demanded. '

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, I don't know, the fact that you were acting like a total spazoid towards Jimmy today!" she suggested.

"Paige, you don't underst—"

"Oh, cry me a river, Ellie. No one ever understands. Of course they're not going to understand if you never talk!"

"Stop it," Ellie said quietly. "Just stop."

"No, you stop! I have way too much pressure on me to get involved with some guy, alright? So respect my decision and get on with your life."

"Jimmy is one of my closest friends, and you just ripped out his heart and tore it to pieces because of your own selfish reasons!" Paige exclaimed.

"Okay, don't be such a drama queen."

Paige burst with laughter. "Me? Oh, that's real funny, hon."

With that, Paige hung up, leaving Ellie to flop down on her bed, eyeing the scissors that still rested on her nightstand.

A/N: Okay, so you all have every reason to hate me, but I got totally sidetracked and had to put the story off for a while. I should have the next chapter out tonight if not tomorrow night. I promise I will work on it for all those who still have interest. If not, I understand. It happens. Thanks guys for all the support and sticking with me. I'm very happy. I hope to have this finished soon. 3