September 3, 6:12 a.m.
Girls Dorm C

The day started out like any other...Then of course Carla and Christi saw eachother...The looks on thier faces were priceless! I seriously thought about tossing a sock in Carla's mouth, it was open so wide! You know they've been in the bathroom quite a while, someone ought to see if the face paint came off. There is, after all, a week lasting charm on it! Hee-hee!

September 3, 9:02 a.m.
Dining Hall

I just recieved a letter from Pappy. Apparently Petunia ran off and eloped with Vernon. And I thought today was like any other! he'll probably fall and flatten her before the end of the day! Mom, doesn't even know about it yet, dad doesn't want to tell her, he says she'll freak. WHAT? OH...Sarah says, No, duh, who wouldn't...Wait a second! HAVEN'T I TOLD HER NOT TO READ OVER MY SHOULDER!

September 3, 11:56 a.m.
Potions

I don't get it. Why the hell would she marry HIM? Wait...Why would I care? Serves her right to marry a buffoon like him!

September 3, 8:11 p.m.
Head Girl Dorm

She's dead. Gone foever. Pappy told her about Petunia and Mom had a massive heartattack. It's not his fault. It's Petunia's. Mom had always hated Vernon, we all did. Mom always had good judgement, and Petunia knew it. She hated her for that, she swore she'd move away someday and never tell us where she went. She should have moved, she never should have told us she eloped. She killed mom, and I hate her for it.

September 3

8:20 p.m.

Head Girl Dorm

I can't handle it. Every memory I have of her is swirling around me. Every single Goddamn memory's haunting me. I keep telling myself she's on vacation... She always told me that I would be more succesful than my sister. I've never believed her, everything she said seemed to be a lie. She was never all thet loving towards Petunia and I, but she did often laugh with us. I loved those rare moments, those rare happy moments. I don't even know why I care so much. I hated her at heart. She would interrogate me, every chance she got. She told me I was worthless every day. She assumed I was having sex at school, and constantly threatened to disown me. Yet, she never gave me any bruises. I never cared about what she did, or what she said. So why do I now?

September 3, 8:45 p.m.
Head Girl Dorm

I swore to myself I would never do it again, but I did. I don't even remember packing it, yet there it was. So beckoning, so friendly. I knew I shouldn't. But I knew I would. I couldn't resist it anymore, I needed that familiar feeling to flow through me again. But, when I did it, it hurt. For the first time ever it truly hurt and It scared me. It never hurt this much before, it always helped me, it was always there, supporting me . Yet suddenly, it's made things worse...

September 4, 6:56 a.m.
Head Loo

I knew this would happen. I knew I wouldn't be able to stop, I knew it. Yet here I am doing it again. The one thing that killed Marie, I am doing. The one thing, I swore to her, as she lay dying, that i'd never do again. I lied. Everything these past few weeks have been lies. I thought things were better, but they aren't, they never were...

September 4, 10:34 p.m.
Herbology

I wish my shrink were here.

September 4, 12:45 p.m
Head Girl Dorm

It's gone. My razor is gone. Someone must have taken it, but who? I need it now more than ever...WAIT what am I saying! I've got to stop, i've got to let go...But I can't. I know that now. For almost a year I've fooled myself, but I can't anymore. I need it. I need my razor, NOW!

September 4, 6:23 p.m.
Loo Wing 4

Evie had it. Evie used it. Bright, bubbly Evie used my razor. Great, now i'll get AIDS and die. Frankly I don't care, if I die that is. It would be so much easier that way. But I know I can't, I promised I wouldn't.

September 4, 7:08 p.m.
Head Girl Dorm

Evie says she's adopted, she says her adoptive father verbally abuses her. She says he's called her every name in the book. She says she does it to remind herself what 'true' pain is. I said nothing. I had no idea. But, who did? Who had any idea about me either? So I'll tell her about Marie, how she was my best friend, even though she was a muggle. How we'd go to parties and get tipsy. How we talked about everything. How all my firsts were with her, first boyfriend, first party, first smoke, first binge, first cut, first everything. We were headed down a bad road, we seemed to be addicted to everything, cigarettes, binging, cutting. Then one day it went to far, Marie commited suicide. I was sleeping over at her house, when I found her on the bathroom floor, soaked with blood. She wasn't screaming, she wasn't crying, she was laughing. She made me promise not to cut myself again, she told me that death hurts and I should never commit suicide, no matter how bad things were, she told me she loved me. I lost her that night. I lost everything and I gave everything up. Or so I thought. I swore never to think of or mention her again, yet I am. I'm remembering what i've tried so hard to forget.

September 4, 8:31 p.m.
Dining Hall

Suddenly Mother's death seems so minuscule, I barely knew her, she could've been the mailman by our socializing standerds! But, Marie, I knew everything about her, everything, and she's gone. Sure it's been almost a year, but I'll never forget...Never.

September 4, 9:00 p.m.
Head Girl Dorm

Found Evie in the loo again, just as I felt that familiar itch to cut. I have a feeling Evie and I are going to become closer than Sarah and I have ever been...

September 5, 7:41 a.m.
Dining Hall

I want to stop. I need to stop. I know i'm blowing things out of proportion, she's gone, deal with it. I am. But whenever I see food, I remember how well Marie could cook and it makes me want to hurl. Whenever I hear laughter, I remember her sprawled on the bathroom floor bleeding and laughing. Its's wrong, I know. Then I think of mother and how I so quickly got over her and I need the razor, to remind myself that I hated her. To remind myself how much she hurt me.

September 5, 11:51 a.m.
Loo Wing 2

I'm becoming her again. The girl I never want to be , the girl who died with her friend last year, the girl who's threatening to burst out and take control of me. The girl who just tossed her breakfast. I did it on purpose. I didn't realize untill a moment ago, that I hadstuck my finger down my throat. It was me, all me. I can't do this again. It's no big deal. I saw someone die, it's no big deal. I will make it through the rain. And I intend to bring Evie through with me.

September 5, 2:47 p.m.
Transfiguration

I'm so confused. How can things get so bad so quickly? Potter aproached me a few minutes ago, asking where the face paint came from. I didn't know what he was talking about untill just now. That prank seems so immature now, like it's never been funny at all. Like it was only funny, because there was nothing better to laugh about.

September 5, 6:43 p.m.
Gryffindor Common Room

Sarah knows somethings up with me. But I don't care anymore, i'm tired of fucking happiness, i'm so tired. She's questioning me right now, i'm ignoring her. Why doesn't she just read over my shoulder? Perhaps, for once in her life, she knows when I need privacy. She just left, I didn't realize it untill the door shut. Could she be mad at me? Who knows? Evie's doing an essay, her hand's twitching. I know that twitch, she needs the razor and she needs it now. Someone must be in the bathroom. If they don't hurry I think she'll settle for doing it right here, she's shaking so violently. Amazingly, no one's noticed her shaking, they must all be fucking blind!

September 6, 7:14 a.m.
Dining Hall

I have to start eating properly. No more of this binging bullshit. I will eat my entire breakfast! I will! Watch me!

September 6, 7:20 a.m.
Loo Wing 4

Not

September 6, 12:21 p.m.
Dining Hall

There's no use going home for the funeral. Because there isn't one. Mom is getting cremated. I hope dad doesn't stick her on the window ledge, like he does with all of his other prized possetions. I couldn't bare remembering her spiteful words, I do after all hate her, even as her ashes lay in a vase getting moldy. Serves her right!

September 6, 7:41 p.m.
Heads Common Room

I threw away the razor. Literally. I threw it away. I tossed it out the window. Evie says I should have given it to her, but I don't trust her not to cut to deep, I don't trust her not to commit suicide. I trusted Marie and look what happened. I couldn't handle another dead friend. I told her that. She's giving me the cold shoulder now. Well, what did I expect? Her to thank me graciously and grasp me in a bear hug? NOT BLOODY LIKELY!

September 6, 9:22 p.m.
Head Girl Dorm

Potter found the razor. He doesn't know what it is, I can hear him showing it to his friends. I have to get it back. They can't find out it's mine. For all I know, they may show it all around school tomarrow and Evie will claim it as her own and kill herself! That will not happen!