"I don't suppose you have any ideas on how to get rid of Joe?" Tanya asked.

Lorelei simply shook her head as they stepped into the guild. "Not a one. Maybe Wiz would know? She's a… retired adventurer, among other things. Maybe she's heard of something similar occurring like with you and… Joe?" she asked as they sat down and began ordering. She seemed to find the name odd.

Tanya noticed a few stares being sent their way, but she ignored them; the whole reason they were talking about Tanya's parasitic add-on was in case Mary Sioux heard about their problems with 'Joe.' If Being X were to contact that bitch in a more direct way than she guessed he ever had in her original world, she didn't want Mary to find out about Johanna if possible.

Giving her insight into any way to weaken Tanya was basically asking to die at her hands, considering just how powerful she had eventually grown to become.

Regardless, if she couldn't ask the right question, Being X couldn't answer it. He could offer the information unprompted, of course, but Tanya couldn't do anything about that, so she'd do what she could to ensure if she found out, it wasn't due to some mistake on her own part.

Viktoriya merely shook her head. "I dunno. Would we want to use any recommendations she might suggest, considering her shop? Maybe someone in the Crimson Demon Village will be able to get rid of Joe?"

Tanya shrugged again. "I suppose we can just settle for the jewelry. Perhaps I'll be able to use my relics for longer with Joe under wraps?" she mused. It really would be great to use the relics, considering how powerful they were… though there weren't really that many foes they'd met thus far that justified the usage of her relics.

Around them, rumors began to spring up, and Tanya sighed. This was exactly why they were speaking in code. They could have just not talked about it at all, of course… but Tanya was also hoping that any rumors their conversation birthed might spread to someone who could help them, as remote as the possibility was.

"Is this person a threat to the city? I wouldn't want to leave after so long…"

"I hope it isn't some kind of horrible monster…"

"Who's Joe?"

That last question was directed more directly at them. Tanya looked up to find the man who wore little armor and fashioned his hair into a mohawk standing over them, looking curious. "After everything you've done for the town, we should help you out too. It's only fair."

More people around them began to pipe up, supporting the sentiment. Tanya felt a smile creep onto her face – it was almost like being back with the 203rd-

"Oh, I can tell you who Joe is," a voice said above the clamoring of the crowd.

Tanya's gaze snapped to the voice. The crowd parted ways and… Kazuma walked forward?!

How could he know who it was…

She shook her head. Of course he didn't know… but then, what was his angle? Was he trying to scam the people… in which case, what would she say to refute his claims?

Troubling. As she thought, he stepped forward, glancing up with a troubled expression of his own on his face into the eyes of the man with the mohawk. "Are you sure you want to know, though? The knowledge of who Joe is… it could change you. Not to mention Ligma and Sawcon…"

Tanya was thoroughly confused now. Really, what was he trying to-

"Ligma? Sawcon? What are these things you speak of? Are they dangerous?"

"Joe is… JOE MAMA! Ligma balls! Sawcon this dick!"

…oh. Really, he had just wanted to make a dumb joke? She hoped he would get pummeled when he inevitably got drunk tonight…

Although… while she was glad no one validated his idiotic puns by laughing, the absolute silence around them was oddly deafening. In fact… everyone was staring at Kazuma in horror.

Tanya looked around to confirm. It seemed that the only people who weren't horrified were herself and Viktoriya, Aqua, and Kazuma himself-

And then the man between Tanya and Kazuma fell over, his mouth ringed with foam.

"…Huh?" Kazuma asked. Tanya would have made a similar vocalization of her confusion, but then the guards at the front desk had moved forward quickly and grabbed him.

"I… I can't believe we were party members with such a monster," Megumin muttered to herself. The rest of the guild also began to mutter dispassionately as Kazuma was dragged away by the guards, asking what the hell was happening.

Tanya voiced her own concern, and Darkness began to explain softly. "It's… Pun Magic. A remnant of a Dark God whose followers once ruled the world. Anyone who opens themselves up for a pun can be killed by anyone who completes the pun."

What?

"What? That's… completely ridiculous. I…"

But the people around them were nodding solemnly… so at least these people were in on the prank that was being played, because Tanya did not believe them.

She gestured down at the corpse. "Aqua, can't you just… revive him?" she asked. She opened her mouth, about to respond, when Megumin blocked her. "No. Pun Magic is special. It's considered… a disease. A blight upon this world. And like all diseases, it can't be fixed with magic."

Aqua tried to revive him anyway at Tanya's repeated insistence, but she failed. Kazuma was eventually acquitted when it was revealed he honestly hadn't known about it, but this story would be added to the annals of the world's history in general and Belzerg's in specific as yet another example of why you couldn't make puns.

-OxOxO-

Kazuma would descend into drinking and debt, incapable of coping with the innocent human life he'd taken. His party would follow him, unable to operate without him.

Tanya's gramophones, as well as testing the rules and how exactly Pun Magic worked – after blowing her own ears off, of course – would lead to her developing Pun-Grenades and other sound-based warfare to transmit puns across enemy battlefields that went hand-in-hand with her industrialization attempts.

She died when the Demon King learned sign language and used it to make a pun she could comprehend, even without hearing. Tanya would get him back by detonating her body and wiping his castle off the map.

She would be hailed for all time in Belzerg as the 'mother of modern warfare,' which was decided solely by puns and their usage.

-OxOxO-

A/N 1: I apologize only partially for my dogshit humor, because really, I know you can tolerate it if you've stuck around for this long.

In other news, I won't be posting TTtC next week. There's a new pokemon game releasing, and I'll be too busy playing it to spend too much time writing.

A/N 2: If you'd like to donate to support me monetarily, gain access to the monthly poll, and gain access to my (very long) summary of the KonoSuba Light Novels, search for Sugarcane Soldier on the website of the Patrons.

A/N 3: Many thanks to lekille, Afforess, and Twin for being Super Patrons,

And a big thank you to WarmasterOku for being an Ultra Patron.