Chapter Twenty-Two: One Step Closer

"Ellie."

Silence.

"Ellie!"

Nothing.

"ELLIE!"

"What?" she snapped, looking over to find Ashley Kerwin standing in front of her. She had abandoned people and left the cafeteria to eat lunch outside. She was squinting to keep the sun out of her eyes, and though she desperately longed to roll up the sleeves that covered her arm to cool off, she knew that was no option.

"You're really out of it," Ashley stated.

Ellie rolled her eyes. "Do you have something say? Because I'm trying to eat." She took a hunk out of her sandwich.

"I just wanted to say….you know, that I'm sorry about our argument a couple days ago. I overreacted…"

"Wow. It took you four days to notice this?" Ellie snapped, swallowing her food.

"I've just been…on such an emotional rollercoaster, since, well, you know."

Ellie didn't look at her. She wasn't in the mood to deal with Ashley. She wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone.

"Okay," Ellie said finally.

"Okay?"

"You heard me, Ash. I don't want to have a girlie bonding moment right now. I have other things to worry about."

"So I'm not important now, is that it?" Ashley barked.

"What?" Ellie shrieked, annoyed. "You know what? Forget it. You wasted your time, Ash, coming over here."

"El, what's wrong with you?" she asked, concern in her voice.

"Nothing," Ellie replied, looking away, fighting the tears. "Just a really bad day, that's all."

Ashley sat down. "Marco and I miss you, you know."

She sent a confused look her way.

"Ever since you started hanging out with Paige, you've changed," Ashley supplied.

"I have not," she said defensively. "I'm still me."

"Yeah, a twisted version of you. You always used to tell me how much you hated people like Paige and Spinner, and even Jimmy. For the past couple of weeks, they've been your entire life. You're so consumed with what they think of you, you don't even care about your old friends," Ashley explained sadly.

Denial and guilt surged through Ellie. "You're so wrong, it's almost funny."

"Ellie, you know I'm right." She laughed, "I'm surprised you haven't started wearing pink and counting calories."

"Oh, bullshit, Ash!" Ellie exclaimed. "What happened to your days being friends with them? People change, Ashley, is that such a crime? God, for one second could you just think about someone other than your own damn self and maybe, like, get a life!"

Both the girls were surprised at Ellie's outburst. Tears were flowing down Ellie's cheeks, and Ashley was at a loss for words.

"I…" Ellie's voice trailed off. Saying sorry was not an option. Both knew that the words that had just sprung from her mouth were honest. She had meant every syllable. Ellie sniffed, and wiped her eyes with her sleeve.

"Save it, El," Ashley snapped, standing up. She slowly walked away, hoping that maybe Ellie would call her back and they could talk. Just like old times. But she never did, so Ashley left, leaving Ellie with nothing to comfort her but her tears.

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"I can't believe your going with Craig," Emma said in the hallway to Manny, half-excited, half-annoyed. "I mean, what did JT have to say about this?"

Manny shrugged. "I didn't mean to hurt him...I just didn't know what else to do."

Manny was surprised Emma was still talking to her. She talked to Emma earlier about how badly things had gone down between them, and they both decided that it would be nice to try to repair the friendship they had broken.

Emma just nodded.

"You should ask him to the dance," Manny suggested, grinning at Emma.

She laughed. "No, thanks. Plus, I'm trying to enjoy being single. You know how cursed I am with relationships."

"It's not you, Em. It's them," Manny said.

Emma half-smiled. "Thanks."

"It's only the truth."

"Ooh," Manny squealed, pointing across the hall. "Let's go talk to Craig before the bell rings."

Emma rolled her eyes, but smiled, as she let Manny link arms with her and drag her down the hallway.

Manny liked the connection she and Emma had. But after all, they had once been the best of friends. Though much had changed, deep down inside somewhere they were still the same little girls who used to borrow each other's clothes and read teen magazines just because they thought it was the cool thing to do.

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Snap. Snap. Snap. Snap. She'd been snapping the rubber band around her wrist automatically for almost ten minutes straight. She'd glance from the clock and then back to her wrist, snapping without thinking about it at all. She let go of the rubber band for the final time, and ripped a piece of paper out of her notebook. She picked up her pen and scribbled, this whole grudge thing is stupid. meet me after class.

She folded the note once then passed it back to Paige. She heard her sigh, and carefully open the paper. Seconds later, a reply was thrown onto her desk. Ellie unfolded it and in Paige's curvy writing, whatever you say. See you after math. i'll give you a ride home.

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She had been waiting by Paige's car for so long, Ellie was just about to give up and just walk home. When she felt she was close to dying of boredom, Paige came walking down the parking lot.

"That took forever," Ellie whined.

Paige shrugged. "Okay, Ellie, in all honesty, I don't feel like being bestest buddies right now. So can we just get on with this."

Ellie took in a deep breath. "Look. I know things with Jimmy are horrible right now, but why can't you just respect my decision? I know what I'm doing, okay? And I thought we were actually becoming friends. Maybe I was wrong."

Paige stood, arms crossed, looking bothered. She said nothing.

"And I know things haven't been going great lately…or at all. But I really just want to start over," she said quickly. "I didn't mean to hurt anyone."

"Yeah, well, you did," Paige barked.

Ellie sighed, dropping her head. "This is hopeless!" she covered her face in her hands.

"Ellie, what's—oh my God," Paige said. "Your arm! Ellie! What did you do?"

The white of the bandage had shown as Ellie lifted up her arm. "Shit!" she exclaimed.

Paige grabbed Ellie's arm, and pushed up the sleeve. The bandage was stained with dried blood. Paige turned her head.

"I can't believe you did this. Oh my God. I knew you weren't better…Ellie, you need help," Paige said, rubbing her head frantically.

"No!" Ellie called out. "I don't need help."

"You need something, Ellie!" Paige said.

For the second time today, Ellie found tears streaming down her pale face.

"Ellie, don't cry," Paige said, taking a deep breath. "Don't cry. It'll be okay." She wasn't sure what to say. This was the first time she had ever been put in this situation. She did the only thing she could think of; she wrapped her arms around Ellie and embraced her in a hug.

Ellie was embarrassed, angry, and she had been living in denial too long. She looked up at Paige. "I do need help," she cried, then buried her face in her shoulder.

"It's okay, hon, it's okay. I'll help you. Jimmy will help you, Spinner will help you," she reassured her and then let her cry.

A/N: Aww, a nice friendship chapter. I said this was going to be over soon, but I might branch it out a little longer. yay!...er. okay. Review, please!