Over It, a kim possible fanfic

I heard "Over It" A clip of it on Disney Channel, and I just fell in love with it. I have no idea why, but I am so captivated with it! I don't know, maybe 'cuz it hits pretty near home. Anyway, you really need to either download the song or buy the 'Stuck in the Suburbs' CD, 'cuz it's even better when you're listening to the song when you read the fic.

This fic will hopefully write itself, 'cuz right now I have no idea what it's going to be about. It's almost midnight and I have 'Over It' on repeat right now, so I'm in the right state of mind…but…yuh' know how that stuff works out…

Disclaimer: I do not own KP, nor do I own the kick-butt song, "Over It" by Anneliese van der Pol. I wish I did—but sadly, wishing on my birthday candles obviously does not count. Well, feh. Whoever said your wish would come true after you blow out the candles should be sued.

One-shot again. Glad everyone liked, "My Girl". I kind of cried when I was writing it, lol.

I just realized something. This fic is gonna' be about Kim. Eh, oh well—she may not be my favorite, but I love this song and I gotta' write it about someone! And—if this is a clue, I'm hoping to make some more people cry with this fic. It'll go in a different direction then you think it will…

NEW A/N: Oh gosh, guys…I wrote this almost 6 or 7 months ago! I got stuck on it, and had a major writer's block. I had the beginning and the end written out, but I could not decide on what to put in the middle. Finally, last night, December 28th—Merry Christmas, everybody!, I found it hidden amongst all my files. I decided that I had worked too hard on this fic to let it go to waste…so now I'm sitting here trying to complete it. If you see it posted…then you'll know I succeeded. Hopefully I get this finished before '04 is over! Lol! Well, anyway…if I do post this…please review! I've worked on this for so long!

EVEN NEWER A/N: Oh, gosh…I'm almost done with this. ALMOST. January 2, 2005—Happy New Years, y'all!

NEWEST OF NEW A/N: OMG! FINALLY! I am done with it! It's still January 2nd, but now it's 9:54 at night…oh my gosh, I'm finally done. I'm so happy! I've worked on this for what, about 8 months now?

Okay, uh…PLEASE REVIEW. Thanks!

…

"Hey Kim."

A warm voice called out to her, beckoning her closer. It was the only thing that seemed to be bright in this dark place.

"Hey Kim…wanna' do something today?"

She searched through the fog for the voice again, but all she could hear was silence. She tried to reach out again, but found that there was nothing to touch. Nothing was there.

"Kim…"

She closed her eyes, even though it didn't make much of a difference. Blackness was all she saw, except for a small light that looked so far away. Reaching out with all her strength, she tried to cling onto the last flickering light she had, blocking out all the darkness until the light becomes brighter, slowly at first, but then the light grew steady and she started reaching out further for it. She was so close to touching it—closing her fingers around it…

And it disappeared.

She was left all alone in the darkness, falling to the bottom of the black emptiness.

There was nothing there to fall on.

…

Screaming, she picked herself up from the floor where she had fallen. Sitting in the mess of blankets, she brushed away all the dropping tears from her face.

'Not again…' She thought, using a blanket to swipe away the cold sweat covering her face. 'Please not again.'

She hated this…these dreams that she had every night. Every night she woke up screaming, crying…and then she remembered the dream. The incredible sadness she always felt—the loneliness…it made her want to never sleep again.

How could you know
that behind my eyes a sad girl cried
and how could you know
that I hurt so much inside

"No thanks mom." Kim answered as her mom pushed a bowl full of cereal at her as she came down the stairs. Her mother raised an eyebrow at her, but Kim shrugged it off, nonchalantly saying "Not hungry."

"But Kim you—"Mrs. Possible sighed as the back door was slammed on her, Kim retreating out it as soon as she could.

…

"Hey, Kim." Ron yelled from a distance, running a hand through his messy mop of blonde hair. She smiled and waved, picking up her pace. She needed to get away from her thoughts…they were driving her…crazy…and she wasn't sure how much more of fighting with herself she could handle.

"What's up, K.P?" He asked her, a goofy grin plastered on his freckled face. They started walking out of the park, luckily passing by the water fountain without getting sprayed by a spout of water. It had been going on a rampage lately…instead of shooting a beam of water into the air, it had been shooting water onto unsuspecting passerbys.

"Nothing." She replied automatically, it was becoming a habit. "You?" She pasted a warm smile on her face, wanting so badly for it to be a true smile. She didn't like hiding things from Ron…'But it's my only choice.'

And how could you know
that I'm not the average girl
I'm carrying the weight of the world
YEAH!

It had been a year now since that one night…the night she had first started getting the dream. Now it came every night…every time she shut her eyes the feeling took over her…controlling her…

She never had completed the dream…she knew to defeat it she had to complete it. She always woke up screaming…remembering that she had just fallen, and somehow landed back in reality.

But Kim knew something was wrong. She had for awhile. There was something wrong with the dream…something wrong with her. Her dream was a nightmare, but every time she woke up she couldn't help but feel that this was worse.

"Kim?" She heard a distant voice calling out. "Kim, you okay?"

Kim nodded to clear her head, noticing the worried look on her freckled friend's face. "Yeah, I'm good."

Ron looked at her, a bit dejectedly, "Is there something you're not telling me? I'm me, Kim. You can tell me anything."

If only he knew how badly she wanted to tell him…"No," She smiled, "Nothing's wrong."

So can you get me outta' here?

"Liar." Ron said, putting his hands on her arms to stop her. She stared into his brown eyes with her own emerald ones…I can do this. I can tell him. It's Ron…he can help.

"I'm not lying, Ron. I promise." She said, removing his hands from her shoulders. How she longed to believe that…

"Okay." Ron stated simply, and they kept walking.

Take me away
We'll jump in the car
Drive till the gas runs out and then walk so far
'Till we can't
See this place anymore
Take a day off
Give it a rest
So I can forget about this mess
If I lighten up a little bit,
Then I will be
Over It

…

"Kim." Her mother greeted her as she walked inside the house, "I think we need to talk." She held up Kim's latest History test in her hands, the red circled 'F' clearly visible.

Kim sighed, closing the door behind her. She followed her mother into the kitchen, pulling out a chair for herself around the table.

Her mother stared at her with a look that was a cross between hell-bending anger and motherly understanding. Kim decided it would be best if she explained first.

"Sorry, Mom…I've just been …I don't know… different lately. I just can't seem to concentrate." Kim smiled apologetically, "I know I've never gotten grades like that before, it's just…"

"This is only one of your many failing grades I've seen. Kim, I don't understand…you're so bright. This is something I'd expect from Ron, maybe the Tweebs…but not you." Her mother said, setting the paper down on the table so Kim could see it better. 62. Kim had already memorized the number.

I'm playin' the role
of the happy girl
but no one knows
Inside I'm alone
But I would never let it show

"Do you see what kind of pressure you're putting on me?!" Kim yelled angrily, getting up from the table in a huff. "Kim has always been this, she's always been that—I don't care! I used to be smart and bright! I used to be a lot of things! Maybe this is the new me! Maybe I'm just going to be dumb and stupid from now on! You'll just have to deal with it!"

Kim's mother looked on with surprise as her daughter pushed in her chair, and stomped upstairs. Quietly, to the empty table, she stated, "Go to your room.", wishing so desperately she could have done that differently.

…

Kim pushed her curtains closed, and collapsed on her bed. 'God, everything's so different.' Then she stopped. What was different? Ron wasn't…her parents weren't…school wasn't. Life wasn't.

She was. She was the only thing that had changed. And she had no idea why, but she hated it.

She wished Ron would call. Maybe he could make her forget all these things that were happening. He had a way of doing that—making you forget all about the despair and sorrow in your life. He was so…optimistic. She wished she could be like that again. Happy and joyful. She couldn't remember what that felt like.

Forget everyday
Too much work and not enough play
Over and over
It's always the same
YEAH!

She wondered if this was what you felt like before you died. Wondering where everything went wrong. Or maybe you were happy—at peace. She certainly wasn't right now. Anything but. Her mind seemed to be at war with herself, taking sides.

'I'm okay.' 'No I'm not.' 'Yes I am!' 'Just keep thinking that.'

She wasn't sure which side she agreed with. But she knew what side she wanted to be true.

…

Kim had started a journal a few years back, because it was a nice outlet for her feelings. The pages were filled to the brim with all the details about how her days had gone…but she noticed she hadn't written in it since 4 months ago. Reading over her last entry, Kim smiled slightly.

'May 13th, 2004—5:02 P.M.: Oh my gosh, you will NEVER guess what happened to me today. Josh asked me to the dance…and guess what I did? I turned him down. Yep, you heard me right! I turned him down! Because guess who I'm going with? Ron! Yeah, it sounds dorky, turning down Josh for Ron—but he asked me, for once. And he really seemed sincere about it too-like maybe he wanted to go with me as more then a friend? Anyway, I've got to go get ready—the dance is tonight!'

11:20 P.M.: Ron sucks at dancing, to say the least. But who cares? I had A LOT of fun…and Ron did too. Who knows, maybe something more will happen after this!'

Remembering it brought a warm tear to her eye—she had been she happy then. 4 months ago she was acting like a regular teenager…and now, she was acting like she had nothing left to live for.

Something was entirely wrong. But she knew she couldn't live with it.

Picking up her phone quickly, she pressed the speed dial button labeled R.S. Hearing the phone ring three times, she was about to hang up, when she heard a voice suddenly ask, "Hello?"

"Hey, Mrs. Stoppable. Is Ron home?" She asked quickly, not wanting to delay this any longer.

"Um, let me check, Kim." She heard a pause, and then someone yelling, 'RONALD! THE PHONE IS FOR YOU!'. A crash from somewhere, and then Mrs. Possible came back on, "He's coming."

"Uh, thanks." Kim said, beating her fingers in a spastic rhythm on her desktop. She was getting very impatient. Just as she was about to yell something into the phone, a shaky breath replied, "Kim?"

"Hey, Ron." She let all the worried breath that had been gathered in her slowly go out, "Why do you sound like you just ran a 100-mile race?"

Ron paused for a few seconds, catching his breath, and then answered, "'Cuz I fell down the stairs." She could practically hear him smile.

"So that's what the thump was?" Kim laughed a bit, and then stopped short. She hadn't done that in a long time—laughed.

But you can make everything OK...

"It's nice to hear that again." She heard Ron commenting, so she brought her thoughts back to reality.

"Hear what?"

"You laughing, it's been awhile." He grew serious, a tone he barely ever used, "Kim, what's wrong."

"Ron…just…just leave me alone, okay?!" Kim yelled, and hung up.

A few minutes later, she began to cry. 'Why is everything so messed up?!' She screamed inside her mind, waiting for an answer she knew would never come. 'When did my life become such a teen melodrama?' She groaned heavily, flipping onto her bed. Maybe tomorrow would be better. She doubted it.

Glancing at the picture frames scattered across her nightstand, she felt an odd sensation. Nostalgia, she guessed. She wished she were back in the good old days. She picked one up, a very old picture of her and Ron back when they were 5 or 6. They were hugging, Ron looking disgusted, and Kim looking sweetly at the camera. She remembered that picture…her mom had taken it. Ron had protested Kim hugging him—saying he would get cooties, which made her cry.

How she wished she were back there now. Thinking to herself, she laughed morosely—'I'd take the cooties over depression any day.'

Placing the picture gently back on the stand, she picked up a note from a large accumulating pile. They were all from Ron, printed in his messy form of writing. She picked them all up, and threw them in her trash can. She didn't want to remember back then now. It was only making her sadder. She couldn't stand it.

'I can't take this.' Kim said, rolling onto her back and covering herself with all the blankets on her bed. Taking a peek at her digital clock, she realized it was only 7:36. She didn't care, and closed her eyes, waiting for sleep to devour her. It was the only way she could get out—even if the nightmares came.

And when the world is closing in
I can leave it all and just walk away
I can always start all over again
I am closer to a better day

…

A sound cut through the night silence hanging outside. Kim groaned, realizing the sound wasn't going to let her rest, and sighed to herself, reluctantly stepping out of bed and making her way to her dresser. The beeping was growing louder and more persistent. She covered her ears angrily—no longer did she want that sound to find her.

But she finally picked up the object, and pushed a button.

"What took you so long?" A familiar face lit up the Kimmunicator screen, as Wade's voice chirped brightly to her.

"Nothing." Kim answered shortly, wanting desperately for this to be a dream. Why did everything have to torture her anymore?

Wade mistook her silence for lack of sleep, and continued. "Anyway—there's been a major discrepancy on the East Coast of Florida—"

"Wade, I'm done with this. I'm not Kim Possible anymore, I can't do this. Let someone else save the day." Kim said, sighing heavily. She felt so much older then in the past.

"Kim…what do you mean?" Confusion riddled the young boys face, "Is something wrong?"

"Everything's wrong." Kim shook her head, not caring that her red mane was tangled and frizzy—it probably had been for some time. She didn't care she was wearing the same clothes as yesterday, and she hadn't even changed into her pajamas. The bags under her eyes and the wrinkles she had suddenly acquired made her look twice her age. Wade stared back at her sad eyes—she had used to be so youthful and pretty. But what he saw now, he couldn't even describe.

"Kim…what happened?" He asked, breaking the silence.

"I don't know." She admitted, "But it's killing me. Can't you tell? Something went wrong…I don't know what happened, but I have to do something. But I can't go on living like this…I just can't take it." She stopped, and a bittersweet smile crossed her lips, "I've got to go, Wade. I need some sleep to think."

Wade nodded uncertainly, and then said, "See you in the morning.", and the connection went dead. Kim doubted she'd ever see him again.

Lying back down in her bed, Kim closed her eyes. But one thought kept echoing in her mind. It was something she had heard a long time ago…probably somewhere in school. But just before she drifted back into sleep, it crossed her mind that it was right.

'If you go searching for a hero, all you will find is someone trying to be one.'

Completely right.

Take Me Away
Take Me Away
Take Me Away

…

Someone was crying. No, it wasn't someone…it was people. Many, many people. The sounds of wailing and the warmth of fresh sprung tears surrounded her.

And through the darkened shadows, she saw the light, burning so brightly that it gave her hope through the desolate screams of her surroundings.

"Kim…" it called to her, and warmth surrounded her like a ray of sun, "It's okay."

"No it's not!" Kim yelled, hugging it tightly, never wanting to let go, "Everything's ruined!"

"But you can make it right…" The light said, voices flooding out of it. She recognized all of them…every single one. "We understand. Do what you have to do…"

Kim woke up, sweating and panting in her bed, desperately searching for the warmth she had been holding—but she was only hugging herself.

It was then she realized something…she had completed her dream. And she knew what she had to do.

We'll jump in the car
Drive till the gas runs out and then walk so far
'Till we can't
See this place anymore
Take a day off
Give it a rest
So I can forget about this mess
If I lighten up a little bit,
Then I will be

Over it

…

Kim walked up her stairs, opening the door to her room. Grabbing a thick wad of money from behind her mirror, she pocketed the cash. Rummaging through her closet, she picked out one outfit, throwing it in the bag with the water bottle and sandwiches.

She suppressed a sigh as she gazed around her room, walking over to her nightstand. A few pictures stood on it along with other items. Picking up one of the frames, she wearily ran her hand over the image inside the glass. It was a photo of Kim and Ron building a snowman with the Tweebs, her parents off to the side.

"I'm sorry." She muttered, a tear splashing on the glass of the picture. She put it face down on her bed, knowing she couldn't take it with her. It meant too much…and she had to forget it all.

Forget about everything.

If I lighten up a little bit,
then I will be
Over It

Closing her door quietly, she returned downstairs. Hastily ripping out a piece of pink paper from her stationary set, she grabbed a pen and began writing.

'To everyone who has ever meant anything to me—

I'm sorry. I truly am, but there's nothing I can do to stop this unless I leave. Who knows, maybe one day I'll come back…someday long from now. For now I have to leave, I have to get away, and I have to leave this all behind me. I am no longer Kim Possible—I'm a broken shell of what I used to be. She was a hero, a friend…not I. I'm just a scared little girl who has to run away from her past to defeat it.

Don't worry about me. I'm better off elsewhere then here. I'll be fine; I just need to forget all about this. I know you don't understand…maybe one day you will. I'm going to start all over, put my past behind me. It's the right thing to do.

Mom, Dad—I love you, and you raised me right. Don't doubt that for a minute. It wasn't anything you did that made me leave. Try to forget about me, and take care of the tweebs. Raise them right like you did me.

Jim & Tim—Behave for mom and dad. I know I always acted like you two drove me crazy—it's just how I showed that I really love you. You're my brother's after all. I'm sorry that I won't be around when all the important stuff in your life happens…High School, Graduating…but I'll always be there for you, no matter how far away I am.

Monique—Thanks for being a great friend. I know how much you love my clothes, so you can have them all. I'm so glad I met you…I needed a girl friend. And you'll always be that.

Wade—I'm sorry it had to end like this, but Kim Possible has died. She's not here to save the world anymore—she can't even put the pieces of my life back together. Do whatever you want with the website…take it down if you'd like. The villains aren't a threat anymore, and with no hero to save everyone no one will try to do anything drastic. Thank you so much for all the help on our missions. Ron and I couldn't have done it without you.

Ron—There's so much that I want to say to you. First of all—don't blame yourself for this. I know you, and I know that you're going to. It wasn't your fault, and you couldn't have done anything to stop me. I needed to do this, and no one could have possibly made me change my mind. I know it sounds weird, but if I'd have stayed here any longer…I think I would have died. I had too much going on. Some things people just didn't know about. I know you are my best friend Ron—almost my brother—and you are thinking that I should have told you…but I couldn't.

There was just too much wrong. I needed to get away…and there's no turning back now. I'm sorry I won't be there for our graduation…and what would have marked the 16th years of us being friends. You know we'll always be friends though, Ron. 20 years from now we'll still be best friends. Nothing will ever change that. No matter where I am, and no matter where you are.

Ron, I know this sounds strange. I know it sounds weird, and I know it makes no sense to you. You just have to trust me. It's for the best. I loved you, and I know you would have tried to stop me…that's just the way you were.

Once again, I love everyone and everybody who cares for me. I have to get going now. It's going to be along trip. I don't know where I'm going…I'm just going somewhere.

Love you all,

Kimberly Ann Possible.'

Grabbing her keys, she opened the door letting cool air from outside run in. She would be a part of it soon…a part of the air…a part of everything…

She glanced around at her home she had lived in all her life for the last time. Pushing the chair back under the kitchen table and leaning over to smooth out a few wrinkles in the table cloth, she stopped to stare at a family picture taken last Christmas. Her parents, her brothers…Ron…

Over it.

She closed the door with a soft thud, locking it behind her. She placed the spare key back under the welcome mat, she didn't need it anymore.

Slamming her car door shut, she closed her eyes for a moment, knowing this was the last time she was ever going to see her home again. Adjusting her mirror, she turned the key as the engine sputtered to life.

A silvery tear making its way down her cheek, she looked out her rearview mirror to her house…her yard…

She pulled out of the driveway, waving an invisible goodbye to her family, her home, her life…and saying goodbye to Kim Possible once and for all.

She drove away, never once looking back.

I am over it.