Nightmare: Chapter 1 - Shinta and Aravis

It's amazing how much one person can go through in their lifetime. The good, the bad, the ugly; I've seen it all. And if there's anyone who's had a bad day, it's me. But my life isn't all unhappiness. I've had quite a few lucky breaks where fate seems to be cooperating with me for a change. Other times it's either laughing at me or toying with me. Enough about that, though. I suppose I should start at the beginning, so that's where I'll start.

I remember nothing of my parents, seeing as I lost all contact with them once I was about a week old. How did this happen, you ask? I'm not entirely sure. After my mother's "mysterious death", someone found me who knew everything about me there was to know at the time. That someone could have been a friend of my parent's or maybe a relative, but no one knew because they were never seen. I know about this person because they were kind enough to drop me off on a good, rich family's doorstep along with a letter explaining me. This letter contained my alleged date of birth (July 13th, 1849), my name (Aravis Dragizura), and other such important things. Whether I was really born on July 13th and whether my real name is Aravis Dragizura, I'll never know. But, it was what I was raised to believe, so I decided not to question it.

As for the family I was taken in by (they were awfully nice, weren't they?), it was made up of two adults and two children, both who were much older than me. The man of the house was called Dosei. Even though I was very little myself, I recall that he was pretty tall for being Japanese (which I also was). His eyes were a dark shade of green, and I distinctly remember having the greatest time pulling his chocolaty brown hair, which was about shoulder-length when I was a baby. He soon got it cut much shorter no thanks to me. He was of a samurai family, so he was very skilled with swords. Other than teaching his son how to use them, though, I never saw him use a sword for fighting or anything. That disappointed me because I'd always had this strange fascination with swords, despite being a girl.

My foster mother (even though I was raised to call both by their real names, instead of Mom or Dad) was named Shika. She wasn't nearly a tall as her husband, but she was certainly much nicer to look at. She had back-length black hair, always worn in a braid, and for some reason I remember her eyes being indigo. Perhaps they really were an unusual color, or maybe my memory's going fuzzy. She was very beautiful all the same, and an extremely good mother, even to someone who wasn't her own child. I always thought, "if I'm ever a mother, I want to be just like Shika". She was also from a samurai family, so she knew how do defend herself properly. She, along with Dosei, knew how to read and write too. Once I was old enough to, Shika taught me. Before she taught me, though, she taught her daughter (since she was older than me).

As for my brother, whom I referred to as my brother even after I was informed that I had been "adopted", he was called Arashi. He was 11 when I joined the family. His eyes were identical to his father's and his hair was dark brown, almost black, and considerably long. Therefore, it was kept in a ponytail most of the time, out of the reach of a certain little girl who likes to pull people's hair. As I said before, Arashi was learning swords from Dosei. Unfortunately, I can't remember what style they practiced, but they were both excellent nonetheless. I practically idolized him. He didn't mind me tagging along after him wherever he went, though. As far as I knew, he had few friends, and those he did have didn't mind me one bit. That was only because he was mainly a very solitary person. He didn't mind people; he just kept to himself most of the time – that is, if I wasn't with him. (All that changed once he started dating girls, but by that time I could handle being told I couldn't go with him for something, so it didn't bother me.) If nothing else, I learned one very important thing from him; a sense of humor.

My older sister, Mikomi, was 6when I first met her. She looked like a miniature version of her mother, except her hair was lighter (about the same shade as her father's). Her eyes were the same, though, and her hair was almost to her knees (keep in mind that this is a small child). Besides learning to read and write, Shika also taught her daughter how to do "householdy" chores like cleaning and sewing and cooking and stuff. I thought this was ridiculously boring compared to Arashi's training, but I never complained out loud when I was asked to help.

Aside from what's been mentioned, family life wasn't terribly interesting. Shika was always either doing chores around the house or teaching Mikomi how to perform said chores. And I only saw Arashi at certain times of the day since he was going to school several times a week. And whenever he was at home, he and Dosei were usually training. I loved to just sit there and watch the two of them practice sparring; In fact, I asked Dosei if he would teach me how to use a sword. He just laughed, said, "Swords aren't for little girls. Maybe when you're older." and walked away. Now that I think back on it, I think he was right, no matter how put out I had been.

When I was about 4 or 5, the "Black Ships" came. I remember very little about them, and don't really have any interest in them, so I'll spare you details. They were American ships, led by Commodore Perry, that sort of invaded Japan. They didn't attack, as far as I recall, but they opened trade between Japan and the rest of the world. Or at least I think that's how it went. The only effect it had on my family and me was a change of occupation, so I couldn't have cared less.

Before the Black Ships came, Dosei was a samurai. One year after the Black Ships came, Dosei became a merchant. Why? I'm not too sure. I think it had something to do with money income, or something like that that I didn't understand or care about at the time. Dosei founded a sea trade company with our neighbors, who were very good friends with us, even though they had no children. They owned a small fleet of 5 merchant ships that sailed all around Japan collecting orders of all sorts of goods; from tofu to kimonos, they could get it. And it was a very successful business too; Dosei and Shu (our male neighbor) had over 100 employees, and every single one was very well paid. And Dosei always had enough money for us, so we had nothing to complain about money-wise. And if he didn't get a job that would require his sword skills, Arashi was destined to take over Dosei's part of the business. Life was good.

That is, life was good until 4 months before I turned 6 years old. 12-year-old Mikomi had fallen sick with cholera, which was spreading like wildfire all across the country at the time. The worst part is that she caught it from me. I had gotten it a few days earlier, but once Mikomi caught it I started getting better. Strange, isn't it? Anyway, Mikomi had the sickness for a week until finally, she died. That was the first time I ever experienced grief in my life. I didn't even remember my mother, whom I knew was gone, so I couldn't feel anything about her. As far as my father goes, I don't know what he was like, who he was, or what became of him, so I didn't waste my time thinking about him. The whole family was heartbroken. Shika was very shaky and easily startled by the slightest sudden noise, Dosei always wanted to be somewhere alone, and Arashi always played with me to keep his mind off of his deceased sister. I was really sad too, to say the least. I was very proud of my large vocabulary for a 6-year-old, and I often had something to say. After Mikomi's death, I was practically silent.

Things only got worse when, about 2 months after Mikomi's death, a huge fire destroyed our home. It's no surprise, though. Do you have any idea as to how fast a house with paper walls will burn down? We were devastated; little money, no shelter, no clothes, no food… Nothing.I asked Dosei if we would have to move "real far away", and he just said, "I don't know." Thankfully, Shu and his wife came to our rescue. They very generously let us stay with them until we got a new home. Shu said he might as well take care of us until we can get back on out feet again, seeing as Dosei was his friend and business partner. (Shu was practically the master of sarcasm.) We were verygrateful.

Another year passed, and life was still good . . . Okay, okay, it wasn't as good as it was over a year ago, but it was good compared to what it could've been. Tragedies aside, I was very happy with the world around me. I had very caring foster parents, Mikomi had been an excellent big sister while she was still alive, and Arashi was the best adoptive brother I could have ever asked for.

Since he was so much older than me, Arashi knew exactly how to talk to me so I understood him, how to entertain me well, and how to tell me that I can't do something so I won't take it the wrong way. While I was little, I liked hanging around with him because I thought he was really cool. After all, he was a swordsman. After I got older, though, I started to enjoy his company even more because as my knowledge grew, we were able to talk to each other better. And since I hadn't gone to school like Arashi had, he taught me all sorts of things daily. And I loved learning everything I could, so I often tried to annoy him into teaching me 100 things every day, but he was almost never at home all day so it usually didn't work. And that was due to the fact that he was working with his father at the merchant business all the time. He was learning the trade very quickly and agreed to take over his dad's spot in the business if Dosei passed away or got too sick to work any time soon. He explained to me after he agreed to that that some day he might have to leave for a long time, but hoped he would be back soon after. I was very sad because of that, but he cheered me up right away by taking me to see the arrival of a ship full of chickens that was coming in from a town on the southern island. To tell you the truth, I loved chasing the poor birds around like a psychopath, and Arashi found it very amusing.

One seemingly normal day, a group of slave traders came into town. My also-quite-wealthy neighbors needed another servant, so since I had nothing better to do (Arashi was at work with Dosei), they brought me with them when they went to browse. Getting bored, I wandered away from them, looking for a slave kid my age that looked friendly. Needless to say, I didn't have any friends besides family members, so I figured "Why not try here?"

And I found one: a little 7-year-old boy with bright violet-blue eyes and red, shoulder-length hair in a ponytail. Actually, he looked a bit like me: a little 7-year-old girl with bright blue eyes and raven black, shoulder-length hair, also in a ponytail. He was sitting on a mossy rock, watching the other kids playing with one of the local stray dogs, dubbed 'Minna' by some other kids in town. He looked lonely and, surprisingly, sad, so I decided to go say "Hi."

He seemed a bit surprised that I actually acknowledged his existence and spoke to him. "Uh, hi." He replied after an awkward pause.

"Why are you sitting here all by yourself?" I asked with polite concern.

"They don't like me." He said simply, referring to the other kids. "Every time I try to play with them, they tell me 'Get lost! We're not gonna play with wimps.'" He looked sadder than ever now. Oops...

"You don't look like a wimp." I said, trying to cheer him up. "Why do they say that?"

"I don't know. They also said I looked like a girl. A wimpy girl." He said miserably.

"You don't look like a girl either." I said firmly. "I really don't know where they're getting all that. Maybe they're nutcases . . ." I paused to watch one of the boys chase poor Minna around like a retard. "Yep. Nutcases." The boy smiled at me. "What's your name?" I finally asked, my voice sweet as candy.

"Shinta. They said that's a wimpy, girly name, too."

"Mine's Aravis. And it's not a wimpy or girly name. I like it."

"I like yours too."

Shinta smiled and looked back at the 'nutcases' chasing Minna around. He looked longingly at the dog.

"That's Minna." I said. "She's a stray. D'you want me to call her over?"

"Sure." Shinta's face lit up. I could easily guess that he didn't have too many good friends. Well, I was in the market, so I decided to make friends with him. He seemed like a really nice kid anyway.

I walked towards the other kids and Minna, and called "Come here Minna! Come on girl!" Minna came running towards me, tail wagging rapidly, and sniffed my hand. The kids would have followed her, but they noticed Shinta sitting behind me. It makes me sick now to think of how they treated the poor boy. Just as Minna sat down in front of me so I could pet her, I turned to Shinta and said, "You can come pet her now." He reluctantly got up and walked over to where the dog and I were sitting.

Just as he knelt down in the dirt to pet her head, one of the tougher looking boys said loudly, "If that girly wimp is gonna touch the dog, it oughtta be shot to put it out of its misery!" He got a reply of stupid laughter from his groupies. Now I knew what Shinta went through 24/7. He winced a little, took a sudden interest in the ground, and his hand shrunk back and fell to his side. I heard a soft sight of defeat escape his lips. I couldn't believe him. I defiantly reached over Minna's back, grabbed Shinta's wrist, and placed his hand on the dog. Shinta looked shocked at what I did, but then smiled and petted her happily. Minna wagged her tail and licked his face. Shinta laughed, but immediately stopped when the following occurred.

A girl among the group of jerks had gasped at what we did, kicked some dirt at the three of us, and said disgustedly "Oh look what you did now! Now it's contaminated! Get it away! Get it away!" Minna whimpered and ran off down an alley. Shinta stayed on the ground and tried to get the dirt off of his shirt, which looked like it could use a wash already. I stood up and glared at the group of discriminators. They werereally asking for it. For one thing, I hated seeing people suffer for no reason, and I hated bullies, and once I put the pieces together I got this: Shinta is being bullied by these jerks and he's suffering. He's a really nice person, and he's my new friend, so I'm going to help him.

"What's your problem?" I asked them in a loud, firm voice. "What did he ever do to you?"

"It's not really what he did," the tough looking boy said. "It's more like he exists at all." They all laughed.

"You have the mind of a 5-year-old." I said matter-of-factly before shooting a disgusted look at the group. I heard Shinta mutter something. "What did you say?" I asked as the boy began fuming.

"He's 9." Shinta replied quietly, growing nervous.

"So?" I was in the mood to pick a fight with these morons after how they treated my new friend, so I really wouldn't have cared if he were Arashi's age. "You really don't have a right to treat anybody like that . . . So if you value your arms, I suggest you lay off." Shinta probably didn't want me to resort to violent threats, and normally I wouldn't say something like that, but I was going to make an exception here. At least I got a response.

"Well, if some idiot would just buy him and get him out of here-" he stated before I cut him off.

"I can arrange that." I turned to the much smaller boy near my feet. "Would you want me to introduce you to somebody I think would be more than happy to buy you?" I felt a little uncomfortable saying 'buy you'.

"Yes!" he said happily. I think some of my attitude had rubbed off on him when he added, "Anywhere but here would be fine!"

So, I took him to meet my neighbors. They asked him a few questions like, "Will you work hard no matter what?" and the reply would be "Yes." So, they decided to buy him, seeing that he would be a good worker. (Shu later thanked me for finding him.) Shinta and I were really happy about that. And since he was just ecstatic about finally being bought so he could leave this 'dump', he wanted to go shove it in the tough kid's face.

"Why are you still here?" was the first thing the little thug said to Shinta, sounding horribly peeved.

"I won't be for long, stupid, I was just bought." He said proudly. Then he stuck his tongue out at the boy. "Probably the reason nobody's bought you is you're a stupid little jerk with an I.Q. equal to a piece of grass." That did it. The 'piece of grass' ran up to Shinta and was about to punch him right in the face and probably break his nose, when Shinta said quickly and happily, "If you lay a finger on me my owner could fine you so much money, they'd pay someone to take you." He was talking about the slave traders who had owned him since a few minutes ago. The kid stopped dead in his tracks, clenched his fist in anger, turned around, and stomped off absolutely fuming. Shinta smiled triumphantly as he watched the rest of the group scramble off after their 'leader'.

"Revenge is sweet, isn't it?" I said to him. He nodded happily. After Shinta got his revenge, we all went back to my neighbor's house, where he met my foster parents and Arashi. They all liked him.

Over the next few days, I observed that, despite his small and weak-looking physique, Shinta was a strong and hard working kid. I also found that he had a very kind, helpful, caring, cheerful, quiet, and sweet personality. He was a very good friend to me. Whenever he had spare time, which was time when there were no chores left to do and there wasn't much of it, he would hang around with me. And soon I found out what it feels like to be attracted to a boy who happens to be a very good friend. To say the least, I had a huge crush on him. But I said nothing, since I found it a little embarrassing to like someone; my best friend at that.

Sadly, not everything was hunky-dory after Shinta came. Arashi did have to move out of town because of the business half a year after Shinta joined us. He said it had something to do with taking over Dosei's position in the business. (I later learned that Dosei had retired early since he knew his son needed a job much more than him, especially since he was looking into getting married and raising a family sometime soon.) I was very depressed that my beloved brother wasn't going to be around anymore, but he promised me that as soon as he could, he'd come back with a special gift for me. I was a little happier that he promised to come back, but I wasn't looking forward to not having him around for any length of time. No matter what I wished for, Arashi still left.

Shinta belonged to my neighbors and was my friend for the rest of the year. We were both 8, and Shika and Dosei had found us a nice new house in another city far away. But I didn't want to leave Shinta since he was my only and best friend, and he didn't want me to leave either. So, since they felt sorry for having to separate us, my adoptive parents and my neighbors let me stay for one more day.

I followed Shinta around the whole day, helping him with his work so we'd have more time to talk to each other, and trying to find an opportunity to confess my feelings to him before I had to depart for my new home. I decided that since I wouldn't see him again for who knows how long, this was the perfect time to tell him I liked him. If it went poorly, I wouldn't have to face him after it. If it went well, we would meet again someday, and then we could be together. Since the sun was getting low in the sky and I still hadn't said anything to Shinta about liking him because of pure fear of rejection, I decided to be gutsy and just sink or swim.

"Uh, Shinta? There's something I have to tell you." I said, wringing my hands like a worried mother because I was so nervous.

To my surprise, Shinta let out a delighted gasp and said, "You're pregnant?! Oh, I'm so happy for you! Who's the father?"

I burst out laughing when he repeated the joke Arashi taught both of us before he left, granted he had to explain it to us twice before we understood it. Since that was just the thing I needed to hear to cure my nervousness, I continued. "No, actually that's not it." Shinta looked disappointed. "What I was going to say was, I like you. As in more than my best friend in the world."

Shinta paused to think, then asked, "Like…love, or something close to it?"

"Yeah."

"…Really?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, good, because that's how I've felt about you forever!"

Shinta must have seen my eyes pop out of my head. But it was a good surprise. Now it was my turn to ask "Really??"

"Yes!" he replied, completely ecstatic. I practically took a flying leap and almost knocked the poor kid over and gave him a huge bear hug.

"I'm so happy!!" I said while squeezing the life out of him.

"I am too, but I can't breathe." He said hoarsely.

"Oh, sorry!" I apologized as I released my grip.

"That's okay. Just learn to control your strength next time." He said, grinning. "Y'know, I'm not sure you're supposed to be that strong. You are a girl."

After he said "You are a girl," I gasped and cried despairingly, "My whole life has been a lie?!" After Shinta started laughing, I smiled and said sweetly, "Just kidding."

"See, that's one of the reasons I like you. You're hilarious!" Shinta said.

"Well, I learn some of it from you, some of it from other people. Some of it's probably inherited, but hey! How should I know?" Shinta laughed a little again.

"Besides us both liking each other, we have an awful lot in common, too." He pointed out. "We're both orphans," As he said it I recalled him telling me how all of his family died in the same cholera plague that Mikomi died from. "…I think our hair is the same length…" We checked. "…Yep, same. And I think we're the same height." We checked that too, and sure enough we were the same height.

"It's weird how we're so much alike…Kinda ironic actually…" I paused to think for a moment, shrugged, and asked Shinta, "Wanna hold hands? I think if I hug you again I might kill you. And that would suck."

Shinta laughed, and said, "Sure." So we did. At this age, neither of us had any concept of dating or boy/girlfriends, but we did know about things like holding hands, hugging, and kissing from observation (mostly from Arashi; the guy went through girlfriends like socks).

We walked around for a little while, still holding hands and making small talk like we usually did. Everything was pretty normal, except the holding hands part. Eventually, we decided to race each other to the woods behind the house. We thought it was the greatest thing in the world to have a forest behind your house. We went in there all the time and looked around at the wildlife. Shinta discovered poison ivy one time. He was itching for two whole weeks.

We were still holding hands after I beat Shinta in there. We kept walking and talking for a long time, and eventually it was sunset. We decided to sit down on some gigantic tree roots to rest before heading back. The area we were in was completely new to us, so we had to be really deep into the woods (which is where we weren't really allowed to go; we just hoped no one would find out). It was altogether pretty overgrown there, with a few grassy or muddy spaces between the tree roots. The trees were all pretty close to one another, but not so much that it was impossible to move around them. The branches and leaves made a thick roof over the area, with a few holes here and there. Where there was grass growing, it was very tall. There were even some weird plants that looked a little like vines growing up the tree trunks. It was pretty damp in there, too, but it wasn't too hot or cold, seeing as it was almost dusk. It was a pretty neat place.

We sat down about half a foot away from each other. I leaned back with my arms straight down at my sides to prop me up. I looked up and straight ahead where the treetops made an abnormally big space where the sky could be seen. From right where I was seated, it looked like a perfect circle, or at least as perfect as a tree can make. The sky was a fiery red-orange at the bottom of the circle, and it gradually got redder as it went up, then started turning purple at the top. I figured if you came at the right time of day or night, you could either see the moon or the sun perfectly through that space. I thought to myself, I'll have to tell Shinta to check that out tomorrow, since I won't be here.

Because I reminded myself of that, I became sad for a moment, but cheered up instantly as I felt Shinta's hand on top of my own. I looked at him, and he smiled. I smiled back, and moved my hand so we could hold hands properly again. I looked back at the sky through the hole. As I looked intently at the beautiful colors, a strange thought crossed my mind.

I hope Shinta kisses me.

I was almost shocked at myself for thinking that, since it was so out of my own character. I've never really thought of myself as the romantic-type, but I tend to surprise myself a lot. However, as I was so lost in thought, I didn't even notice Shinta moving, so that when I turned to tell him about the strange hole, our lips met for about 3 seconds. When Shinta pulled back and opened his eyes, he realized where he had kissed me. To put it lightly, he was quite shocked.

"Oh! Uh...I-I-I only meant to kiss you o-on the cheek! I-I'm sorry!" he stammered. He looked terrified.

"Shinta, calm down! It's okay! I didn't mind!"

Shinta froze, turned to look at me and asked in total disbelief, "…You didn't mind?"

"No. Of course not."

"…Really?"

I sighed in exasperation, and said, "Look, if I minded you kissing me, then why would I do this?" I leaned over and kissed him on the lips for 5 seconds. Poor Shinta looked like he was going to die from shock at first, but then he went completely limp. When I moved back, I saw Shinta's face and I couldn't help but laugh. He had an expression of dazed happiness, like he was in La-La Land. I waved my hand in front of his face to get him to snap out of it.

When he came to, it seemed as if he had amnesia. "Um…what were we just doing?" he asked.

"I kissed you on the lips, and you zoned out."

"Oh, yeah, now I remember."

I laughed, and we both smiled. We got up and walked back to what we thought was our house, but soon discovered we had come out of the woods behind our other neighbors' house. Well, it was only part house. It was actually a sword school they had build over my old home. We were familiar with the owners, but they had no children so we weren't that well acquainted.

Before we went to sleep, I said to Shinta, "It's gonna really suck having to leave tomorrow."

"Yeah, I know." He agreed. "Wait a minute, maybe you don't have to leave! Do you think they would let you stay here?"

"Maybe, or you could come with us!" I said happily. "Let's ask which one we can do tomorrow morning. I'm sure they'll let us."

"OK." Shinta said, smiling. He gave me a kiss on the cheek, and said, "Good night."

"'Night." I replied before both of us headed into our rooms.

As soon as I got the door firmly shut, my legs gave out. I landed on the floor with a light thud, and I started giggling like a drunken fool because I was so happy. Just because of the recent events of the day, I had a hard time falling asleep. I did eventually, though, all the while happy that I wouldn't have to leave Shinta the next day…