HALLOWEEN MADNESS (Courtesy of Draco Malfoy)

CHAPTER 5: MALFOY AND THE TREE

When the Gryffindors where stepping right into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, they were feeling slightly elated for, at the very least, their best teacher was back. Professor Lupin was allowed to return seeing as the scarcity of teachers who knew much of the subject seemed to have made its toll on Hogwarts and the students.

A lot of parents owled Professor Dumbledore to complain about his decision but were very kindly told of the circumstance and were very solicitously asked if they knew anyone competent enough to teach the Hogwarts students. No one replied to those owls sent by the Headmaster and no owls about the teacher assignment were received again (there were some proclaiming their endless love for several teachers of the school, though, but those weren't paid any much heed as the owls that came with weekly subscriptions to 'The Wizarding Bachelors').

Defense Against the Dark Arts for that particular day was about the Patronus Charm.

"Now, will anyone tell me what a Patronus does?"

Hermione's hand quickly shot into the air. "A Patronus is a spell that is used to ward off dementors and, at one time, a lethifold."

"Wouldn't have been able to say it better," said Lupin cheerfully. "Five points to Gryffindor. Now, I won't be expecting that all of you will be able to make a Patronus. This is after all Advanced Magic as I've told Mr. Potter before, beyond Ordinary Wizarding Level. But since the Dementors are gone and nowhere to be found, it is very likely that You Know Who could use them to attack. I deem that it is worth a try to teach you to defend yourselves."

He nodded at the class. "To be able to make a Patronus, the words to say are 'Expecto Patronum'. Everyone, repeat after me." The class did so. Then Lupin said, "Harry."

"Yes, Professor?"

"Please come up front and demonstrate a Patronus."

There was a rumble from the students. Those members of the D.A. knew Harry could make a corporeal Patronus and were only mildly surprised that Lupin knew about it. The others who didn't know about that looked at each other and whispered amongst themselves.

Feeling a mite worried that he would not be able to conjure up a happy memory, Harry stepped forward to join Professor Lupin, who in turn gave him an encouraging smile.

"Let's see. What else have I not told you? Well, the Patronus Charm acts as a positive force, something that protects you from the Dementors. This positive force is something that Dementors feed on but since the Patronus has no life, it acquires no damage unlike a human being." He stared at the deeply-interested students. "To be able to conjure a Patonus, you must be able to concentrate on a happy memory."

Harry concentrated. He needed a happy thought. His mind meandered along, and he remembered the day Sirius died...he shook his head. No, not that...

"Now, I have a boggart here. During our third year classes, I taught you about boggarts, didn't I? Well, now, Harry I want you to concentrate on the fear you felt when you first saw the Dementor. Otherwise..." Professor Lupin let his voice trail. The class and Harry knew the implications of that 'otherwise.'

Harry gulped visibly. He thought of a dementor and the awful feeling it felt when it was near him.

Professor Lupin looked at him. "You can do it, Harry. I know you can. And on one, two, three!" Professor Lupin released the latch on a drawer that was near Harry.

The boggart sprang forward in the form of a dementor, to his relief for the briefest moment, then he felt cold and as if something dark had engulfed him...the things he felt when he was near a dementor.

He focused some more and his thoughts landed on the day he won the Quidditch Cup for Gryffindor.

He shouted, "Expecto Patronum," but what came from his wand was a wispy smoke, much similar to those he managed when he was just starting to learn.

"Now, students, there are two kinds of Patronus," he heard Lupin say as he kept his Patronus. "For some wizards, the wand projection is something only of a shapeless, silvery mist but there is also a corporeal Patronus, which takes a particular figure."

Harry tried once more. "Expecto Patronum!"

And out came the galloping stag, successfully putting the boggart/dementor back inside the drawer.

"Well done Harry," Lupin congratulated him after quickly putting back the lock. "Now that's 10 points to Gryffindor for a job well done."

The class started to clap as they all stared in awe at Harry.

"Everyone up for trying the Patronus Charm?" Lupin asked the rest of the class in a jovial voice. "But of course, we shall practice without the boggart."

The class started to grow noisy with their excitement.

Before Harry reached his chair, Professor Lupin called his attention. "You could take a break. Walk around the grounds. Breathe in the fresh air. I know you need it. You know the subject anyway." He smiled at him. "Your father will really be proud of you."

Harry nodded once and sprinted out the classroom.

Harry found himself walking near the lake. The sun was up that particular day and it felt good to be alone; to be able to muse about what has been happening without anyone interrupting him.

He thought of what the war against Voldemort would bring him. Sure, it was a given that he will suffer...but will death follow?

He shook his head derisively at his own thoughts. He let out a strangled sigh as he thought some more. Then, something caught his eyes.

It was Malfoy, alone and seemingly...talking to a tree? His own observation ended on an incredulous note as he squinted towards Malfoy's direction.

He decided to walk slowly towards him. And more to his utter disbelief, Malfoy was indeed having a conversation with the aforementioned tree.

He heard him say, "Well, having to like a Muggle born like Granger would be quite a shock, to say the least, for my family, but not all that extraordinary. It's the genes you know," he said confidingly.

Harry stopped himself from laughing out loud, his problem now pushed too far in his mind to be even remembered. Malfoy might realise he has company. He gathered that like him, Malfoy just got there. From the looks of things, Malfoy and the tree were quite well acquainted. He sniggered inwardly.

"I had a cousin, from Narcissa's side of the family. She was sent to Durmstang, that's another Wizarding School, to inform you. Her name's Clarence. I know, I know it's a nasty common name. Clarence. Ha! Anyway, I digress. She came home after 6th year and announced she was pregnant by a Muggle, no less. You wouldn't believe the uproar she caused." Even as Malfoy was talking, his voice rising a pitch in his indignation. "And you know what else? I could've sworn she was a he before... Funny thing, really." He paused. "Oh, and that's not mentioning Father's second cousin, he works with one of the Weasleys, who is an accountant. Imagine that! Even those Muggle-loving people don't talk about that accountant!"

Harry was already shaking with suppressed mirth.

"You'd actually expect that my father and mother would accept my decision. At least Granger is a Witch. That's good. And she's very clever, no doubt."

Not able to help himself anymore, Harry laughed out loud.

Malfoy slowly looked at his direction, then just as slowly returned it back to the tree. He sat down on the grass. "Did you hear anything? I thought I did but that could just be the wind."

"Oh, I get it," said Harry, sitting next to him. "Even trees are smarter than your friends, huh?"

"Potter, what are you doing here?" he asked in an exasperated voice. "Will you leave me alone with this...tree." When Harry didn't bother leave, he said, "Bugger off!"

"Surprisingly, I want to call it a truce for fifteen minutes, at the most, with you," Harry told him. "I could bet I'm a better conversationalist than that tree."

"I happen to like talking to this tree," Draco told him crossly.

"Oh, come on, Malfoy," Harry began to cajole only to stop short. What was he doing?

"So, tree," Malfoy said. "How would you react if asked you out? I mean, with my dashing good looks and my versatility, I'd expect that you'd be thrilled. What? You are? Oh, that's good. Because Hermione, you know the girl I've been talking about, is suspicious of me. She isn't doing my ego any good."

"This is pathetic, Malfoy," Harry put in casually. "Why are you really here talking to a tree?"

Malfoy finally turned to him. "Potter, if you'll kindly remember, I am not your friend. So, please refrain from asking me these annoying questions."

"So, let's be friends for the next fifteen minutes," he suggested reasonably.

"All right. What do you want to talk about?"

"If I tell you what I want to talk about, then you'd accuse me of being full of myself. So, why don't you tell me what you want to talk about, then I'd accuse you of being full of yourself."

"Fair enough," said Malfoy with a shrug. "Let me in on the D.A."

Harry blinked. "Well, that was a bit too straightforward wasn't it? What are you really up to, Malfoy?"

"We're only friends for fifteen minutes. If I tell you my secrets now, you could very well spread them around in the next minute. Why should I answer that?"

He sighed. "If that's how you view this situation, then I could accept you now as a member of the D.A., and retract it on the sixteenth minute."

There was no reply for that from Malfoy.

"Mal--Draco, what really has made you change?"

"Oh, that I'll be able to answer. You see, I sort of enjoyed not having my father with us during the summer. It was fun without him, truth be told."

"Is that it?"

The question gave Draco some pause. "Well, now that you've asked, the tentacles also helped."

Harry looked at him blankly. "What tentacles?"

"Remember on the train when I warned you to be careful, then you jinxed us? I had tentacles, then," he said.

"Warned me to be careful?" Harry asked, trying to jog his memory. "At the end of the term, you mean? Yeah. I remember. You're kidding me, aren't you?"

"First, everyone suspects me of having motives behind my actions, which might be true if the circumstances had been different. Now, you and Goyle think I like to jest around with people," he said in an overly dramatic voice. "You and my friend probably share the same brain waves." Malfoy gave him a knowing look.

Harry cringed at the very prospect. "I hope not. Now, Malfoy, what good are you for the D.A.?"

"What good is Longbottom to it?" Malfoy asked in the same impertinent tone.

Harry didn't want to answer that. "Why would we be trusting you, then?"

"Are we back to this again?" Malfoy asked in a tired voice.

"Seem like we are."

"I am not asking you to trust me, Potter. What I want is to be in your organization. You don't exactly discuss about the rising of the Dark Lord in the D.A., do you? I don't think you create tactics that time, either. You're a Gryffindor. You're all act and no thought."

Harry didn't know whether to take offense or not. Malfoy said the last bit so casually, that anyone who might overhear him might think he was speaking plain truth.

With a sigh, he said, "Well, let's say we exchange deals. I ask the other members whether they want you in or not, try to persuade them if they don't. And you tell us what we want."

Malfoy pondered this over.

"No."

Before Harry could voice his astonishment as Malfoy's reply, he continued. "I don't think I'd agree to those terms. They are much too general and vague. What if you asked me if my father has mistresses?" There was a pause as Malfoy chewed on his statement. "Come to think of it, I never did find out."

"Malfoy," Harry started, "Why would I care about your father's mistresses?" he asked in an exasperated voice. "We want to know what is pertinent as for the moment."

"Oh, so you'd be interested to know which side of the family my good looks come from."

Harry stared, for there was naught anything else to do but that.

"Potter, I was kidding." He shook his head. "Honestly, you Gryffindors have no sense of humor." Benevolently he added, "I'd advise you to develop that."

It was Harry's turn to shake his head. "Malfoy, when Voldemeort is rising back to power, humor isn't very necessary to survive."

Malfoy rolled his eyeballs. "You're morbid, Potter." There was an uncertain pause after that. "So about letting me in on the club."

"Malfoy--"

"I'm willing to trade in Death Eater secrets with you, if you'll let me join."

Malfoy's statement roused some sort of curiosity in Harry. "What sort of Death Eater secrets?"

"You know," he told him confidingly. "Inner circle sort of things."

"Like what?"

"Crabbe's father--the older, beefier, uglier, stupider Crabbe-- never sleeps without something cuddly to hold."

Harry winced. That was too "inner-circle like" for him.

But Malfoy wasn't finished just yet. "...And You Know Who...he wears boxers, not briefs."

Harry blanched. The thought was much too revolting to bear thinking. But, grudgingly, he admitted, blackmail might not be too much of a bad idea to stall Voldemort's rise to power.

"And," Draco added still. "McNair, the executioner, eats his roasted chicken while chewing on a mint flavored gum and booger flavoured Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, he specifically ordered from the manufacturer to be sent to him." He finished with a smirk.

"Harry Potter, Boy Who Lived, Harry Potter, Boy Who Survived Yet Again turned green, and ran towards the lake to throw his breakfast out.

A/N: That's about it for now. I might not be able to update any time soon.