Disclaimer: I do not own Middle earth. I only own the characters that are of my own creation.
Do you know?
Part 1
Do you know what it feels like to know your past, but not understand? Do you know what it feels like to desire the answers to what seems like rhetorical questions? Do you know how it feels to not know why you're doing something and to ask yourself what you are actually supposed to be doing every day of your life?
I do. I have been asking myself these questions since it occurred to me that something was wrong. For over three millennia I have been searching high and low for answers to questions I have never understood. Why was it I who was subjected to all these problems? My life has mostly been a set path, others always willing to help me; I was able to follow my thoughts and dreams. It allowed me to begin my continuing search for answers. The thing is, I don't know who has them. Or if they even exist.
I look down at the still woman lying in front of me. Her body is broken; her spirit has fled to the halls of the dead. Not that these mortals believe in anything like that. The woman face would not betray her death; it is completely still, eyes closed, lips curving into a small smile. Her smile showed her relief in leaving the pain of this world behind for the glory and beauty of the next. But, still leaving life behind her. The little boy child, only a few minutes old, was wriggling in my arms. He opened his mouth and let out a little gurgle, waving a hand in the air.
"Milady?" Came a tentative voice from beside me, "Milady, are you alright?" I snapped myself out of my reverie to turn to the young woman – the healer who had been assigned to help me.
"Yes, child?" I answered softly.
She blushed at the reference to her age. She was young, I'd noted unhappily at first, but she was extremely skilled as I soon found out. "I am not that young, Milady. I came of age three years ago."
A small smile escaped onto my lips, she was nineteen. "My apologies, Enna. But even though you are of age, that still puts me at three millennia older than you." The young woman was shocked into silence. Taking an advantage of her stillness, I handed her the small infant. "Here," I said, "You need to find him a wet nurse as soon as possible."
She nodded, and I waited. I could tell that she had something else to say, but couldn't put it into words. "Milady … " Her voice trailed off. I waited again, standing perfectly still. She looked up from the small child in her arms. "Who … who are you?" She asked silently, in a bare whisper no human could've heard.
Startling her, I answered, "My name is Aredhel. I am one of the Elven kin. I am bound to ensure the continuation of the sorry line of those who rule these lands, though I have come too close to breaking that promise I made so long ago. The current Lord being one of those reasons," I ended bitterly, closing my mouth to prevent myself revealing more.
Something close to comprehension dawned in her eyes, or was it recognition? I thought to myself. "I know you." She muttered, frowning. She then suddenly exclaimed, as if just remembering, "You met my great-grandmother! She mentioned you in her notes … her notes on healing."
The girl's face displayed shock and awe. Aware that the Elves had mainly been avoiding contact with the world of men, I just nodded and made to walk out the door. The girl began to speak suddenly, beginning to ask questions with a small voice. "No. I need to go. I don't have time," I said sharply.
As I again turned to go, she asked meekly, "Where to Milady?" She cowered when I turned to her, fully aware of her attempt to break the order just given to her. Preparing for a blow from myself. Or worse.
Taking pity on her was easily the best option. She had obviously been abused over wrong doings in the past, even though her position was one high enough to warrant a little respect now. The past doesn't fade from ones mind, it remains there like a shade. Affecting you. I smile and she slowly relaxes. "I am going to see his lordship." She answered, slurring the word to make it seem derogatory. "To inform him of his current …" I smile at the small child in Enna's arms and give a wary glance to the body of his late mother. "His current situation."
"Are you sure you would not wish me to go in your stead, my Lady?" She whispered. "His lordship is going to be most unhappy."
I smile at her from the door. "He scares you greatly, I can see that. You need not put yourself under stress for no real reason. I will go." I gesture at the child in her arms. "Make sure he is wrapped up warmly." With that I quit the room.
Walking down a dismal and dimly lit corridor towards the main hall of the grand house I hear low voices talking. Not just any voices, I hear people speaking in the Elven tongue. As I turn the corridor I spy a group of them sitting on a bench and leaning on the wall outside the entrance to the hall. All male, and all equipped for battle. Wearing leather armour and Elven weapons in hand. They are quietly talking among themselves.
"He seems to think that we will find them here." One says.
"We may still. You would never know." Says another.
"I still don't see why we have to look to mortals for assistance. It is our problem, not theirs." Comes a bitter voice from the end of the row.
As I near the group attention is immediately drawn to me. "She has blood on her hands." Mutters the one on the end. "Is it an indication of the displeasure of the women in these halls? They are beginning to kill?"
Another chortles, "Would it be such a bad thing? The loss of life in this sorry place is not necessarily a bad thing."
Another, in a more sombre tone interrupts. "I don't believe that. Those in this place have as much of a right to life as any others. Who are we to deny them that?"
I hear this as I near the doors to the hall. I stop and turn to the last speaker. I bow, startling them. "Thank you for recognising that fact." I answer back in the Elven tongue. "Would you deny the little child I have just birthed his life? The one that his mother died to give him?" The group become silent and the one nearest to me shakes his head. "Thank you." I whisper. I give my red-stained hands a quick glance, nod to them, receiving a slight bow in return and turn to walk into the hall.