Okay, so I'm a little late but I made up for it in quantity and
quality. I swear. Anyway, the PG-13 is pretty definite on this chapter,
with heavy doses of indirect adult content and also some adult language.
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Logan got about an hour of sleep that night, in seven pieces. Every time he would get to sleep he would have the same nightmare: every kid at the Mansion looked like a little version of him, so he ran outside, but he still couldn't see anything except three of four blocks full of his kids. And while Logan was no stranger to nightmares, even ones that woke him up in the middle of the night, these were beyond any he had ever had before. And the worst thing about them was that they were constantly getting closer to the truth. How many new kids would he discover today? How many new women would be looking for him?
The first thing Logan did when he got up in the morning was figure out whether Ettie had spent the night. She had. The second thing he did was to go back to his room and collect up everything he thought he had the right to take from the Mansion and put it in a bag. When he was finished, he estimated he could be out the door in less than a minute. Still, he couldn't leave quite yet. He still had the morning's classes to teach.
His first class of the day was the worst class he had ever had in his time as a teacher. None of the kids were paying any attention; they were too busy gossiping or teasing him about Ettie and all of his newly discovered kids.
"Who told you?" he demanded of a girl by the name of Michelle Kwong about half way through the class. "How did you find out about Leanna and that other woman?"
Michelle had gone completely silent under his anger, but another student had let him in on their source: Jubilee and Kitty Pryde, just like he had thought. He had spent the next few minutes muttering obscenities. Then he had tried to go back to teaching but had had no success whatsoever.
By 1:00 P.M. he was ready to leave. Now he just had to let the Professor and everyone else know. He found Jeannie first.
"I was thinkin' about what you said yesterday, I and I've decided to go back over where I went when I was on the cage circuit."
The doctor looked surprised. "Oh. Well, that's good. You really do need to find out how many women have had the problem."
"Well, if that's it I'm leaving now."
"No, wait," she said, holding up her arm to stop him. He swore silently to himself. "I think it's a good idea but hold on just a few hours. I'll go with you."
Now it was Logan who was surprised. "You will?" This was not good. He needed a way to keep her at the Mansion. It wasn't long before he found one. "What about the kids? You're the only doctor here, and these kids can't go a day without somebody gettin' hurt."
"I thought of that, but as it happens the Professor solved that problem less than an hour ago. He invited another doctor over, and he has agreed to stay for a couple of months, at least. He will be able to patch up any injuries."
"Another doctor?" It hadn't even crossed his mind. "But...do you think it's a good idea for you to be there? These are my old flings we're talkin' about."
Jeannie turned a little red. "I don't see any reason I shouldn't be there. I don't fear them, and I thought you would prefer for them to believe that you are no longer single."
"Is that a proposition?"
"Logan. It's just that...it's just that this is very important to me. Can you understand that? I will play a part, if it will make it easier for you to actually go through with this. We really need to know how large a problem this is."
"Scooter's gonna love this." It was his last chance to convince her not to come with him. He hated having to drive Jeannie off and, even more so, having to bring One-Eye between them to do it, but it was his only option left.
"I'll talk to him. Don't worry; Scott won't be coming."
She was too determined. That left him without any options. He was standing there, wracking his mind for more excuses, when he was rescued by a visit from Storm.
"You have a call, Logan."
At first he was relieved for the distraction, then he realized that there was a good chance that this was more bad news. "Who is it?"
"She did not give me her name. She said she was a friend of yours, who knows of your trouble and would like to help you."
Logan had no idea who that could have been, but he figured it would be better to talk to them than to have to talk to Jeannie anymore.
He found the nearest phone. As he picked up the receiver he remembered why he so rarely used the phone: he couldn't smell a thing over it. A phone conversation was like trying to figure out a puzzle with half the pieces missing. But it was too late to avoid it now. "Hello?"
"Wolverine! My favorite chew toy!" sang the woman on the other end in a slight Spanish accent. He knew he recognized it, so he thought about it and clicked it into place.
"Ah crap. Juanita Gutierrez."
"You remember me!" she said with a sweetness to her voice that was about as real as the Easter Bunny. "It's been so long! Hey, you know how much money you owe me?"
"Look, Juanita, I..."
"Seven abortions' worth," she interrupted.
"Seven! It was one last time!" There was no way, just no way that she could know. She couldn't.
"You're very right; it was one last time. And now it's seven."
"How? How did you get this number?" Logan felt like his brain was shutting down. It seemed to do that a lot when he talked with Juanita.
"Well, now, that is a funny story. And what the hell, I might as well tell it to you. See, it all started when I was in a tiny little bit of trouble and needed to lay low for a month or two."
"Christ, Juanita."
"...So I ran into this group of people, the Church of the True Resurrection. Now, this is a funny little group that worships a girl, name of Leanna Ingersen."
"No."
"I thought you might recognize her name. So anyways, this group turns out to be not too bad at laying low, making fake IDs, that sort of thing. So I decide, what the heck? Then, a couple of weeks later, I have this chance to talk to the girl herself, and what do I find out? She had her heart broken by some old jerk, name of Wolverine. So I file that away, you know, and stick around, and that carries us up to this morning. This morning I happen to see Her Holiness and she happens to tell me she's about to hop on her plane – private plane; not bad for a backwoods girl, is it? – to fly over to see this old jerk. The reason? They're his kids, all six. Suddenly everything's clear to me, and I take it into my head to get the number from her and call this old jerk up myself."
Logan couldn't seem to get any words out.
"And I think you know the story from there. Seven abortions, isn't that a laugh?"
"I don't owe you bullcrap."
"Bullcrap? I guess I have to agree; you owe me a fuck of a lot more than that."
"Juanita..."
"Do you have any clue what it's like to get an abortion?" She finally dropped her fake sweetness. "Any clue at all? Because it isn't the most fun experience in the world. In fact, I would be happy to describe it to you. So you start by finding..."
"What do you want from me?" demanded Logan.
"I don't know, what ever could I want from you?"
"Do you think there's anything I could do? You think I knew? You think I thought it would be funny?"
"Damn right I do! I know you knew." Logan tried to butt in but she talked over him. "I know you knew and you just went around from bar to bar fucking anything that would stay still long enough so you could spread your nice special genes all over the country. Oh wait, you're in New York now; make that the whole goddamn continent!"
"That's the last thing I..."
"You're not even worth the effort." She said it in such a way that he couldn't help but shut up, stunned. "It's not even worth my time to try to track your ass down and set you straight. So you know what? Screw it. Water under the bridge. Go ahead and play your game over there in the States and leave me the hell alone and that will be the end of it. All you have to do is give me what you owe me."
"I told you I'm not gonna..."
"I'm not even listening to you anymore. Now, let's see, that will be $2000..."
"What?"
"...Per time."
"You..."
She continued to talk over him. "That's $14000, and just to make it easy on you let's make that US dollars, not Canadian."
It was time to hang up the phone. There was no talking to Juanita. There had never been any talking to Juanita.
"But before you hang up," she said, returning to her false sweetness, "there's one more thing you'll want to know."
He stayed on the line, but if she said even one more word about money or owing her a damn thing...
"See, my new friends - the Church of the True Resurrection - they're good Christians, so they feel it's part of their duty to destroy the evil of the world when they can. And that includes abominations against God. Mutants, for example."
"You didn't..."
"Didn't what? Didn't accidentally let your little problem slip to them? Oops. And the funny thing is, they got real excited when I mentioned it. I guess they didn't like the idea of their Holy Mother coming to visit an abomination against God. Seems to me they should be leaving about now, come to think of it. I can't say exactly how many of 'em, but if I had to guess I'd say 20, maybe 30."
"You bitch."
"Maybe I am a bitch, but I never forced anybody to have seven abortions." She hung up.
Logan hung the receiver up carefully, then unsheathed his claws. It would be easy, so easy, to cut that phone in half. The table it was sitting on, too. And the whole room. But he couldn't. He couldn't cut up the room or even just the phone. He had to settle for five or six angry punches to the air. When he was finished he stood there, panting. He never panted, but he was panting now. Finally, once he had mostly caught his breath again, he called out, "Professor!" He knew from experience that even if Chuck didn't hear him the normal way, he would pick up on him.
When the Professor spoke into his mind, asking what the problem was, he described it in as few words as possible. It made Chuck nervous enough that he came down to talk to Logan in person.
"This is not something to be taken lightly," said the Professor as he rolled into the room. "Jean has informed me of your plan to leave, but with this news I must ask you to postpone that. I do not know how much of a danger these people will represent, but if they truly consider it their duty to destroy mutants then we must not let them gain access to this school. If necessary the X-Men will defend it with their full power."
Logan didn't answer. As far as he was concerned none of the others had to bother; he would be happy to shred all of the bastards by himself. He turned around to walk back to his room, but the Professor stopped him.
"Before you go anywhere, there is someone who would like to meet you."
Now even Chuck was in on it? "Not again."
"You have never met him before."
That surprised Logan, but it didn't make him feel much better. He still wasn't in any mood to be meeting anyone new.
"His name is Doctor Henry McCoy."
"The doctor? He's here?"
"Yes. And if you wouldn't mind..." He signaled for Logan to follow and started down the hall. When they got to the hidden elevator that led to the basement the Professor turned and left.
Logan had a bad feeling about this meeting. Why the big deal? Why did he have to go down to the lower levels to meet the guy? And, more importantly, was there any possibility that this wasn't related in some way to all this recent crap about hordes of kids?
He got out of the elevator where it stopped, on sublevel 2. He didn't see any doctors so he started walking. Not long after, he heard the guy and then smelled him in quick succession. What he smelled made no sense, so he hurried to the source and looked with his own eyes. They confirmed what he had smelled: the new doctor was an animal. Or at least he looked like one. A big blue one.
"Greetings," said the blue guy, "The Wolverine, I presume?"
"Yeah..."
"Wonderful. Allow me to introduce myself: Dr. Henry McCoy, or the Beast, if you prefer. I specialize in mutant genetics, and when Charles told me about you and your curious condition I decided I had to come and see you for myself. I have already devised a few little tests that should clarify certain aspects of the issue."
So he was right; it was about the recent crap. Everything was. "Sorry, uh...Doc. I'm leaving. Soon. I won't be around for you to do your tests on me."
The big blue doctor looked surprised. "Well, that is unfortunate. Not to worry, however, there are tests I can do in your absence. I will merely require a small sample from you."
"Of...blood?"
"No." He paused. "But don't worry, I will be sure to destroy the sample as soon as I am finished with the tests." He looked thoughtful for a second or two. "Of course, it might fetch a fair price at a sperm bank."
It took Logan a second to understand, but once he did he could feel his breathing speed up and his eyes bulge a bit. He wondered how hard it would be for him to kill the big blue doctor now.
"It is a joke, Logan. Simply bring the sample to me before you leave. Today, if possible."
Logan left the room without another word. He didn't feel like testing his self-control at the moment. He headed straight for his room, hoping to be able to get a little more sleep, but he didn't even make it that far before Jeannie stopped him.
"Not now, Jeannie."
"Sorry, Logan. I know I lot has happened since yesterday, but there is one more thing you have to do before we go."
"Only one?"
"Well, only one right now. You have to call Marcie Herbert."
"Marcie...the one with 16 kids?"
"Yes. You have to call her and tell her what happened."
"No way. I'm finished with the phone for today."
"Well, you have to contact her. So unless you want to fly over and talk to her in person it will have to be over the phone."
"Sure. I'll fly over there after I retrace my cage circuit."
"No, Logan. Now. According to her website she's been looking for you for a long time."
"Why? 'Cause she wants me to take some of those kids, that's why. And I ain't gonna."
"She doesn't want you to take any of her kids. And if she does then you have to explain that you're in New York and it's not possible. She probably just wants to hear your voice."
"Would that be enough for you?"
Red frowned.
"No, I'm serious. If One-Eye left you, would a phone call from him be enough for you?"
"That's not the same."
"Oh."
She took the tone she always took when she was embarrassed but was trying not to be. "Look, Logan, at the least you have to let her know what happened. And if she wants to come here then you're not going to stop her."
"Why not? Is it her right to see me? I broke it off."
"Yes, it is her right to see you. She had 16 of your children."
Logan pushed past her to get to his room.
"Stop. Look, I don't care how you do it but you have to talk to her, and it has to be today. She deserves to know."
He stopped but didn't turn around.
"What if she just wants you to have your share of the recognition for the world record?"
He whipped around. Red was smiling, trying not to laugh.
"There could be prize money."
Once again Logan bit back a sarcastic comment because it was Jeannie.
She grabbed him by the arm and dragged him, using her power to help with his heavy frame, to a phone. She opened his hand and placed a slip of paper with a phone number in it. "I'll guard the door for you." She walked out and closed the door behind her.
Logan looked from the paper to the phone, then back at the door. How was he supposed to do this? 'Hey, Woman-I-Don't–Remember, I'm a mutant and part of my power is to get women pregnant for the rest of their lives'? 'I hope you had fun back then, because the result was 16 kids...or probably more like 24 or 28, for you'? Could he make it sound like it was her fault somehow? 'That's just how hard we went at it, baby.' He let the piece of paper fall to the floor and sat down.
"I don't hear any talking!" came Jeannie's muffled voice from the other side of the door.
"She's not there!"
"Damn it, Logan, dial the number!"
He picked the piece of paper up off the floor and looked at it. Then he got up, picked up the receiver, and dialed the number. As it rang he tried to control his breathing.
"Hello?" said a woman's voice uncertainly.
Which one was this? Marcie Herbert. Okay. "Marcie?"
"Yes. May I ask who's calling?"
"Logan."
"Logan who?"
"...The Wolverine."
There was silence at the other end of the line for several seconds. He hoped she had fainted or something.
"Well..."
"It's you," she whispered. Logan swore to himself. "You saw my website?"
"Uh...something like that."
She started speaking in a more normal voice. "So you know about...our kids."
Logan only barely managed to avoid hanging up. He held the phone at arm's length and swung it around as if he were going to break it. Then he brought it back to his mouth. "Yes."
"Where are you?"
"New York."
"New York City? I've always wanted to go to New York City!"
"No. ...What I mean is, I'm not in the City."
"Oh. Well, what are you doing now? Did you find a job there?"
"Yes. But it's teaching at a high school, not the best pay."
"Well I think that's great." She laughed. "Imagine, the Wolverine teaching high school kids. They must think you're great."
Logan was completely caught by surprise. "Well, yeah, sometimes."
"So...our kids. They're four years old now, you know that? There's Billy, Grant, Maggie, and Lisa. They're quadruplets."
"...About that...it's not only the four." Logan couldn't believe the words actually came out of his mouth.
"What? What do you mean?"
"It's all of them, not just the first four."
"How could it be all of them? We...well, I haven't seen you for four years."
"I know." How to say it? "Remember how when I was in the cage I was never hurt for real long?"
"Of course. It's what made you Wolverine."
"Well, no...but anyway, that's because my body is real good at healing itself. And your...the kids have the same thing."
"You're telling me!"
"Right. Well see, it wasn't only the kids."
"What do you mean? What else was it?"
"My...well, let's just say, as it turns out women have more than one kid with me."
"You mean why I had four instead of one? Because that wasn't you; twins run in my family and I guess I got all the luck, in a manner of speaking."
"No, that's not what I meant." Again he was tempted to hang up, but he settled for taking the mouthpiece away from his mouth and swearing.
"Anyway, I was talking about our kids," said Marcie. "They're about ready to start school. Can you believe that? Pretty soon they'll be going through school and then there will be college and that's going to be really hard..." She stopped so he could jump in. He didn't. "Have you seen pictures of them?"
"No."
"Oh, you have to see them!"
"Listen, I can't really get away from my job right now."
"Too bad. But if you'll give me your e-mail I can send you some. You have to have pictures of them, at least."
"I don't have one."
"You don't have an e-mail account? What about your school account?"
"Well, I don't remember it. I don't have a computer at home."
"But what about announcements? Oh well, if you don't have one you don't have one." She paused. "I understand, I guess," she said dejectedly. "Is it another woman?"
"What? No, I don't have an e-mail...thing. What other woman?"
"It's fine. It's been four years, after all. Five. A guy like you can have any girl he wants. I get it. Well, your kids and I will just be here in Manitoba if you ever feel like visiting for any reason. Good bye."
"Bye?"
She hung up. Logan followed suit, confused. Well, he had called her. Not that he had been able to tell her much.
The door opened again, and Jeannie was smiling as she entered. "So, are you done?"
"Yeah."
"How'd it go?"
"Fine."
"So you told her?"
Logan didn't answer right away.
"You didn't tell her." She slapped her hand to her forehead. "Why not?"
"I tried! She wouldn't listen to me. She kept talkin' about 'our kids' and then she got pissed and hung up."
Now Jeannie was starting to look pissed also. "I think I know what happened."
"But look, she seems to be doin' all right. She didn't ask for any money."
"Call her back."
"Jeannie, no. She won't listen to me now anyway." He muttered to himself, "They never do."
"She has to know."
"She already knows they have the healin' ability, so what's the problem?"
"I'm not even going to answer that."
"She's not gonna let it go, I can tell. When I tell her she's gonna insist on comin' here and she's gonna be a real pain in the ass. She got pissed 'cause she thought I was seein' another woman. Like she's my wife or something."
"You made the mess, Logan; you'll clean it up."
"But I didn't know."
"You're worse than the kids, you know that? Same thought process with 1000 times the consequences."
"I'm worse than the kids now? Jeannie, what do you want me to tell her? Fine, I'll tell her there'll only ever be one woman for me." He looked at her meaningfully.
Her anger turned to surprise. Then her eyes opened wide and she exclaimed, "So you did!"
"Huh? Did what?"
"You did tell Ettie you love her."
"What the hell are you talkin' about?"
"Only one woman. Ettie's been annoying me all day with her thoughts, and I've heard a complaint or two from the telepathic students, too. So you really did say something to her."
"No I didn't. What's she thinkin'?"
"Basically that you and she are getting married. And even more disturbing images."
"I didn't say a damn thing to her."
"Are you sure? Even if you didn't say anything outright?"
"Yes I'm sure."
"Did you flirt with her?"
"No." Why the hell did he still have to deal with Ettie? He was trying to figure out newer problems now. Much bigger problems.
"You must have done something."
"Why? Why is it always my fault?"
"Because that's who you are, Logan."
"You're the mind-reader; you go over to her and figure out what happened."
"I don't want to get near her."
"Me neither."
The two of them just stood, looking at each other. Logan was just cooking up a good way to calm Jeannie down when a noise distracted him. It was the sound of a plane, a lot closer than they usually came. And it was coming even closer.
"Do you hear that?"
"What?"
"The plane."
"What? Oh, yeah, I do, barely."
They turned and walked out to figure out what was going on. By now it was so close that it had to have been landing around the Mansion somewhere.
"It's them," said Jeannie suddenly.
"Who?"
"I just spoke with the Professor. It's Leanna and a couple of others." She blinked. "And they just landed."
The noise had stopped, so Logan had to believe her about that last sentence. He preferred not to believe her about the previous one.
"Ororo just went down to invite them in," said Jeannie.
"Why?"
"Because you have to talk to Leanna. And you have to meet somebody she brought with her. Her oldest son. It sounds like he's eight, so he's probably your oldest son also. Hopefully, anyway."
"Wait, I have to meet one who can talk?"
"Yep. You better have something good to say."
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Logan got about an hour of sleep that night, in seven pieces. Every time he would get to sleep he would have the same nightmare: every kid at the Mansion looked like a little version of him, so he ran outside, but he still couldn't see anything except three of four blocks full of his kids. And while Logan was no stranger to nightmares, even ones that woke him up in the middle of the night, these were beyond any he had ever had before. And the worst thing about them was that they were constantly getting closer to the truth. How many new kids would he discover today? How many new women would be looking for him?
The first thing Logan did when he got up in the morning was figure out whether Ettie had spent the night. She had. The second thing he did was to go back to his room and collect up everything he thought he had the right to take from the Mansion and put it in a bag. When he was finished, he estimated he could be out the door in less than a minute. Still, he couldn't leave quite yet. He still had the morning's classes to teach.
His first class of the day was the worst class he had ever had in his time as a teacher. None of the kids were paying any attention; they were too busy gossiping or teasing him about Ettie and all of his newly discovered kids.
"Who told you?" he demanded of a girl by the name of Michelle Kwong about half way through the class. "How did you find out about Leanna and that other woman?"
Michelle had gone completely silent under his anger, but another student had let him in on their source: Jubilee and Kitty Pryde, just like he had thought. He had spent the next few minutes muttering obscenities. Then he had tried to go back to teaching but had had no success whatsoever.
By 1:00 P.M. he was ready to leave. Now he just had to let the Professor and everyone else know. He found Jeannie first.
"I was thinkin' about what you said yesterday, I and I've decided to go back over where I went when I was on the cage circuit."
The doctor looked surprised. "Oh. Well, that's good. You really do need to find out how many women have had the problem."
"Well, if that's it I'm leaving now."
"No, wait," she said, holding up her arm to stop him. He swore silently to himself. "I think it's a good idea but hold on just a few hours. I'll go with you."
Now it was Logan who was surprised. "You will?" This was not good. He needed a way to keep her at the Mansion. It wasn't long before he found one. "What about the kids? You're the only doctor here, and these kids can't go a day without somebody gettin' hurt."
"I thought of that, but as it happens the Professor solved that problem less than an hour ago. He invited another doctor over, and he has agreed to stay for a couple of months, at least. He will be able to patch up any injuries."
"Another doctor?" It hadn't even crossed his mind. "But...do you think it's a good idea for you to be there? These are my old flings we're talkin' about."
Jeannie turned a little red. "I don't see any reason I shouldn't be there. I don't fear them, and I thought you would prefer for them to believe that you are no longer single."
"Is that a proposition?"
"Logan. It's just that...it's just that this is very important to me. Can you understand that? I will play a part, if it will make it easier for you to actually go through with this. We really need to know how large a problem this is."
"Scooter's gonna love this." It was his last chance to convince her not to come with him. He hated having to drive Jeannie off and, even more so, having to bring One-Eye between them to do it, but it was his only option left.
"I'll talk to him. Don't worry; Scott won't be coming."
She was too determined. That left him without any options. He was standing there, wracking his mind for more excuses, when he was rescued by a visit from Storm.
"You have a call, Logan."
At first he was relieved for the distraction, then he realized that there was a good chance that this was more bad news. "Who is it?"
"She did not give me her name. She said she was a friend of yours, who knows of your trouble and would like to help you."
Logan had no idea who that could have been, but he figured it would be better to talk to them than to have to talk to Jeannie anymore.
He found the nearest phone. As he picked up the receiver he remembered why he so rarely used the phone: he couldn't smell a thing over it. A phone conversation was like trying to figure out a puzzle with half the pieces missing. But it was too late to avoid it now. "Hello?"
"Wolverine! My favorite chew toy!" sang the woman on the other end in a slight Spanish accent. He knew he recognized it, so he thought about it and clicked it into place.
"Ah crap. Juanita Gutierrez."
"You remember me!" she said with a sweetness to her voice that was about as real as the Easter Bunny. "It's been so long! Hey, you know how much money you owe me?"
"Look, Juanita, I..."
"Seven abortions' worth," she interrupted.
"Seven! It was one last time!" There was no way, just no way that she could know. She couldn't.
"You're very right; it was one last time. And now it's seven."
"How? How did you get this number?" Logan felt like his brain was shutting down. It seemed to do that a lot when he talked with Juanita.
"Well, now, that is a funny story. And what the hell, I might as well tell it to you. See, it all started when I was in a tiny little bit of trouble and needed to lay low for a month or two."
"Christ, Juanita."
"...So I ran into this group of people, the Church of the True Resurrection. Now, this is a funny little group that worships a girl, name of Leanna Ingersen."
"No."
"I thought you might recognize her name. So anyways, this group turns out to be not too bad at laying low, making fake IDs, that sort of thing. So I decide, what the heck? Then, a couple of weeks later, I have this chance to talk to the girl herself, and what do I find out? She had her heart broken by some old jerk, name of Wolverine. So I file that away, you know, and stick around, and that carries us up to this morning. This morning I happen to see Her Holiness and she happens to tell me she's about to hop on her plane – private plane; not bad for a backwoods girl, is it? – to fly over to see this old jerk. The reason? They're his kids, all six. Suddenly everything's clear to me, and I take it into my head to get the number from her and call this old jerk up myself."
Logan couldn't seem to get any words out.
"And I think you know the story from there. Seven abortions, isn't that a laugh?"
"I don't owe you bullcrap."
"Bullcrap? I guess I have to agree; you owe me a fuck of a lot more than that."
"Juanita..."
"Do you have any clue what it's like to get an abortion?" She finally dropped her fake sweetness. "Any clue at all? Because it isn't the most fun experience in the world. In fact, I would be happy to describe it to you. So you start by finding..."
"What do you want from me?" demanded Logan.
"I don't know, what ever could I want from you?"
"Do you think there's anything I could do? You think I knew? You think I thought it would be funny?"
"Damn right I do! I know you knew." Logan tried to butt in but she talked over him. "I know you knew and you just went around from bar to bar fucking anything that would stay still long enough so you could spread your nice special genes all over the country. Oh wait, you're in New York now; make that the whole goddamn continent!"
"That's the last thing I..."
"You're not even worth the effort." She said it in such a way that he couldn't help but shut up, stunned. "It's not even worth my time to try to track your ass down and set you straight. So you know what? Screw it. Water under the bridge. Go ahead and play your game over there in the States and leave me the hell alone and that will be the end of it. All you have to do is give me what you owe me."
"I told you I'm not gonna..."
"I'm not even listening to you anymore. Now, let's see, that will be $2000..."
"What?"
"...Per time."
"You..."
She continued to talk over him. "That's $14000, and just to make it easy on you let's make that US dollars, not Canadian."
It was time to hang up the phone. There was no talking to Juanita. There had never been any talking to Juanita.
"But before you hang up," she said, returning to her false sweetness, "there's one more thing you'll want to know."
He stayed on the line, but if she said even one more word about money or owing her a damn thing...
"See, my new friends - the Church of the True Resurrection - they're good Christians, so they feel it's part of their duty to destroy the evil of the world when they can. And that includes abominations against God. Mutants, for example."
"You didn't..."
"Didn't what? Didn't accidentally let your little problem slip to them? Oops. And the funny thing is, they got real excited when I mentioned it. I guess they didn't like the idea of their Holy Mother coming to visit an abomination against God. Seems to me they should be leaving about now, come to think of it. I can't say exactly how many of 'em, but if I had to guess I'd say 20, maybe 30."
"You bitch."
"Maybe I am a bitch, but I never forced anybody to have seven abortions." She hung up.
Logan hung the receiver up carefully, then unsheathed his claws. It would be easy, so easy, to cut that phone in half. The table it was sitting on, too. And the whole room. But he couldn't. He couldn't cut up the room or even just the phone. He had to settle for five or six angry punches to the air. When he was finished he stood there, panting. He never panted, but he was panting now. Finally, once he had mostly caught his breath again, he called out, "Professor!" He knew from experience that even if Chuck didn't hear him the normal way, he would pick up on him.
When the Professor spoke into his mind, asking what the problem was, he described it in as few words as possible. It made Chuck nervous enough that he came down to talk to Logan in person.
"This is not something to be taken lightly," said the Professor as he rolled into the room. "Jean has informed me of your plan to leave, but with this news I must ask you to postpone that. I do not know how much of a danger these people will represent, but if they truly consider it their duty to destroy mutants then we must not let them gain access to this school. If necessary the X-Men will defend it with their full power."
Logan didn't answer. As far as he was concerned none of the others had to bother; he would be happy to shred all of the bastards by himself. He turned around to walk back to his room, but the Professor stopped him.
"Before you go anywhere, there is someone who would like to meet you."
Now even Chuck was in on it? "Not again."
"You have never met him before."
That surprised Logan, but it didn't make him feel much better. He still wasn't in any mood to be meeting anyone new.
"His name is Doctor Henry McCoy."
"The doctor? He's here?"
"Yes. And if you wouldn't mind..." He signaled for Logan to follow and started down the hall. When they got to the hidden elevator that led to the basement the Professor turned and left.
Logan had a bad feeling about this meeting. Why the big deal? Why did he have to go down to the lower levels to meet the guy? And, more importantly, was there any possibility that this wasn't related in some way to all this recent crap about hordes of kids?
He got out of the elevator where it stopped, on sublevel 2. He didn't see any doctors so he started walking. Not long after, he heard the guy and then smelled him in quick succession. What he smelled made no sense, so he hurried to the source and looked with his own eyes. They confirmed what he had smelled: the new doctor was an animal. Or at least he looked like one. A big blue one.
"Greetings," said the blue guy, "The Wolverine, I presume?"
"Yeah..."
"Wonderful. Allow me to introduce myself: Dr. Henry McCoy, or the Beast, if you prefer. I specialize in mutant genetics, and when Charles told me about you and your curious condition I decided I had to come and see you for myself. I have already devised a few little tests that should clarify certain aspects of the issue."
So he was right; it was about the recent crap. Everything was. "Sorry, uh...Doc. I'm leaving. Soon. I won't be around for you to do your tests on me."
The big blue doctor looked surprised. "Well, that is unfortunate. Not to worry, however, there are tests I can do in your absence. I will merely require a small sample from you."
"Of...blood?"
"No." He paused. "But don't worry, I will be sure to destroy the sample as soon as I am finished with the tests." He looked thoughtful for a second or two. "Of course, it might fetch a fair price at a sperm bank."
It took Logan a second to understand, but once he did he could feel his breathing speed up and his eyes bulge a bit. He wondered how hard it would be for him to kill the big blue doctor now.
"It is a joke, Logan. Simply bring the sample to me before you leave. Today, if possible."
Logan left the room without another word. He didn't feel like testing his self-control at the moment. He headed straight for his room, hoping to be able to get a little more sleep, but he didn't even make it that far before Jeannie stopped him.
"Not now, Jeannie."
"Sorry, Logan. I know I lot has happened since yesterday, but there is one more thing you have to do before we go."
"Only one?"
"Well, only one right now. You have to call Marcie Herbert."
"Marcie...the one with 16 kids?"
"Yes. You have to call her and tell her what happened."
"No way. I'm finished with the phone for today."
"Well, you have to contact her. So unless you want to fly over and talk to her in person it will have to be over the phone."
"Sure. I'll fly over there after I retrace my cage circuit."
"No, Logan. Now. According to her website she's been looking for you for a long time."
"Why? 'Cause she wants me to take some of those kids, that's why. And I ain't gonna."
"She doesn't want you to take any of her kids. And if she does then you have to explain that you're in New York and it's not possible. She probably just wants to hear your voice."
"Would that be enough for you?"
Red frowned.
"No, I'm serious. If One-Eye left you, would a phone call from him be enough for you?"
"That's not the same."
"Oh."
She took the tone she always took when she was embarrassed but was trying not to be. "Look, Logan, at the least you have to let her know what happened. And if she wants to come here then you're not going to stop her."
"Why not? Is it her right to see me? I broke it off."
"Yes, it is her right to see you. She had 16 of your children."
Logan pushed past her to get to his room.
"Stop. Look, I don't care how you do it but you have to talk to her, and it has to be today. She deserves to know."
He stopped but didn't turn around.
"What if she just wants you to have your share of the recognition for the world record?"
He whipped around. Red was smiling, trying not to laugh.
"There could be prize money."
Once again Logan bit back a sarcastic comment because it was Jeannie.
She grabbed him by the arm and dragged him, using her power to help with his heavy frame, to a phone. She opened his hand and placed a slip of paper with a phone number in it. "I'll guard the door for you." She walked out and closed the door behind her.
Logan looked from the paper to the phone, then back at the door. How was he supposed to do this? 'Hey, Woman-I-Don't–Remember, I'm a mutant and part of my power is to get women pregnant for the rest of their lives'? 'I hope you had fun back then, because the result was 16 kids...or probably more like 24 or 28, for you'? Could he make it sound like it was her fault somehow? 'That's just how hard we went at it, baby.' He let the piece of paper fall to the floor and sat down.
"I don't hear any talking!" came Jeannie's muffled voice from the other side of the door.
"She's not there!"
"Damn it, Logan, dial the number!"
He picked the piece of paper up off the floor and looked at it. Then he got up, picked up the receiver, and dialed the number. As it rang he tried to control his breathing.
"Hello?" said a woman's voice uncertainly.
Which one was this? Marcie Herbert. Okay. "Marcie?"
"Yes. May I ask who's calling?"
"Logan."
"Logan who?"
"...The Wolverine."
There was silence at the other end of the line for several seconds. He hoped she had fainted or something.
"Well..."
"It's you," she whispered. Logan swore to himself. "You saw my website?"
"Uh...something like that."
She started speaking in a more normal voice. "So you know about...our kids."
Logan only barely managed to avoid hanging up. He held the phone at arm's length and swung it around as if he were going to break it. Then he brought it back to his mouth. "Yes."
"Where are you?"
"New York."
"New York City? I've always wanted to go to New York City!"
"No. ...What I mean is, I'm not in the City."
"Oh. Well, what are you doing now? Did you find a job there?"
"Yes. But it's teaching at a high school, not the best pay."
"Well I think that's great." She laughed. "Imagine, the Wolverine teaching high school kids. They must think you're great."
Logan was completely caught by surprise. "Well, yeah, sometimes."
"So...our kids. They're four years old now, you know that? There's Billy, Grant, Maggie, and Lisa. They're quadruplets."
"...About that...it's not only the four." Logan couldn't believe the words actually came out of his mouth.
"What? What do you mean?"
"It's all of them, not just the first four."
"How could it be all of them? We...well, I haven't seen you for four years."
"I know." How to say it? "Remember how when I was in the cage I was never hurt for real long?"
"Of course. It's what made you Wolverine."
"Well, no...but anyway, that's because my body is real good at healing itself. And your...the kids have the same thing."
"You're telling me!"
"Right. Well see, it wasn't only the kids."
"What do you mean? What else was it?"
"My...well, let's just say, as it turns out women have more than one kid with me."
"You mean why I had four instead of one? Because that wasn't you; twins run in my family and I guess I got all the luck, in a manner of speaking."
"No, that's not what I meant." Again he was tempted to hang up, but he settled for taking the mouthpiece away from his mouth and swearing.
"Anyway, I was talking about our kids," said Marcie. "They're about ready to start school. Can you believe that? Pretty soon they'll be going through school and then there will be college and that's going to be really hard..." She stopped so he could jump in. He didn't. "Have you seen pictures of them?"
"No."
"Oh, you have to see them!"
"Listen, I can't really get away from my job right now."
"Too bad. But if you'll give me your e-mail I can send you some. You have to have pictures of them, at least."
"I don't have one."
"You don't have an e-mail account? What about your school account?"
"Well, I don't remember it. I don't have a computer at home."
"But what about announcements? Oh well, if you don't have one you don't have one." She paused. "I understand, I guess," she said dejectedly. "Is it another woman?"
"What? No, I don't have an e-mail...thing. What other woman?"
"It's fine. It's been four years, after all. Five. A guy like you can have any girl he wants. I get it. Well, your kids and I will just be here in Manitoba if you ever feel like visiting for any reason. Good bye."
"Bye?"
She hung up. Logan followed suit, confused. Well, he had called her. Not that he had been able to tell her much.
The door opened again, and Jeannie was smiling as she entered. "So, are you done?"
"Yeah."
"How'd it go?"
"Fine."
"So you told her?"
Logan didn't answer right away.
"You didn't tell her." She slapped her hand to her forehead. "Why not?"
"I tried! She wouldn't listen to me. She kept talkin' about 'our kids' and then she got pissed and hung up."
Now Jeannie was starting to look pissed also. "I think I know what happened."
"But look, she seems to be doin' all right. She didn't ask for any money."
"Call her back."
"Jeannie, no. She won't listen to me now anyway." He muttered to himself, "They never do."
"She has to know."
"She already knows they have the healin' ability, so what's the problem?"
"I'm not even going to answer that."
"She's not gonna let it go, I can tell. When I tell her she's gonna insist on comin' here and she's gonna be a real pain in the ass. She got pissed 'cause she thought I was seein' another woman. Like she's my wife or something."
"You made the mess, Logan; you'll clean it up."
"But I didn't know."
"You're worse than the kids, you know that? Same thought process with 1000 times the consequences."
"I'm worse than the kids now? Jeannie, what do you want me to tell her? Fine, I'll tell her there'll only ever be one woman for me." He looked at her meaningfully.
Her anger turned to surprise. Then her eyes opened wide and she exclaimed, "So you did!"
"Huh? Did what?"
"You did tell Ettie you love her."
"What the hell are you talkin' about?"
"Only one woman. Ettie's been annoying me all day with her thoughts, and I've heard a complaint or two from the telepathic students, too. So you really did say something to her."
"No I didn't. What's she thinkin'?"
"Basically that you and she are getting married. And even more disturbing images."
"I didn't say a damn thing to her."
"Are you sure? Even if you didn't say anything outright?"
"Yes I'm sure."
"Did you flirt with her?"
"No." Why the hell did he still have to deal with Ettie? He was trying to figure out newer problems now. Much bigger problems.
"You must have done something."
"Why? Why is it always my fault?"
"Because that's who you are, Logan."
"You're the mind-reader; you go over to her and figure out what happened."
"I don't want to get near her."
"Me neither."
The two of them just stood, looking at each other. Logan was just cooking up a good way to calm Jeannie down when a noise distracted him. It was the sound of a plane, a lot closer than they usually came. And it was coming even closer.
"Do you hear that?"
"What?"
"The plane."
"What? Oh, yeah, I do, barely."
They turned and walked out to figure out what was going on. By now it was so close that it had to have been landing around the Mansion somewhere.
"It's them," said Jeannie suddenly.
"Who?"
"I just spoke with the Professor. It's Leanna and a couple of others." She blinked. "And they just landed."
The noise had stopped, so Logan had to believe her about that last sentence. He preferred not to believe her about the previous one.
"Ororo just went down to invite them in," said Jeannie.
"Why?"
"Because you have to talk to Leanna. And you have to meet somebody she brought with her. Her oldest son. It sounds like he's eight, so he's probably your oldest son also. Hopefully, anyway."
"Wait, I have to meet one who can talk?"
"Yep. You better have something good to say."