Fic: What The Hell(mouth) Happened?

Author: mkcrl120

Disclaimer: All the characters mentioned in this story belong to Joss Whedon or Mutant Enemy or some other people. I own nothing and wrote this just to get it out of my system.

Summary: I'm writing some of these, as I've come up with ideas that I honestly don't know what I'll be doing when the Ultimate series gets that far. In the meantime, these won't go away from my brain unless I do something with them. Warning: It may be a standalone it may be spoilers for something later; only time will tell.

Rating: 15 by English standards (mainly for language)

Setting: Season 3 - I think you'll recognise when.

What The Hell(mouth) Happened? - 2/?

The picture fades from white, back to the familiar settings of the girl's bathroom.

Cordelia opened her eyes. The brightness of the light had caused her to involuntarily close them. Blinking, she tried to focus on the girl in front of her. "What the hell happened to your face?" she asked.

"What..?" The familiar voice responded. As her vision cleared, Cordy watched as the girl slowly came into focus. It was Harmony, and she was now checking her face in the mirror. "Why... what did you see?"

"Nothing..." Cordelia responded looking around. These were her regular friends. Harmony, Amber and the others. She couldn't see any sign of Anya any more. "Where's Anya..?" she asked the others.

"Who..?"

"Girl... bout this tall." Cordy raised her hand to just over shoulder level. "Long brown hair, sometimes has a scary face."

"Never heard of her."

'Hmmm.' Cordy thought, trying to work it all out. 'Of course, if Willow and Xander don't cheat with each other, then my social standing's still intact. I'm just a girl with a boyfriend who needs a lot of work, instead of the girl who got dumped by the loser. Yay... Fairy Godmother.' Cordy promised herself, that if she saw the Anya girl walking around the school, she'd quickly help her climb her way up the social ladder.

"So..." Cordy began, as she led them out of the bathroom. "What's next..?"

"Dodgeball." Harmony answered.

Cordy was confused, she gestured as they passed by the qaud, "It's sunny... why we stuck in?"

"Mrs Robbins has been missing for the past week. No replacement PE teacher yet... so we're all stuck in one group."

"Vampire attack?" Cordy asked.

"What a what?" Amber queried.

"Never mind." Cordy dismissed her previous comment, 'Note to self. Remember which people know what.'

"Vampires..?" Harmony, however, was not willing to let it drop so quickly.

"What..?" A voice called from behind them.

Cordy turned, to see Faith following them into the changing rooms. "What are you doing here?"

"Shut up..." Faith strode over to face Harmony. "Exactly what do you know about vampires?"

Harmony, looked panicy. But Cordy soon came to her defense. Dragging Faith away, she quickly whispered. "I didn't tell her anything I swear."

"You didn't tell her anything?" Faith asked, becoming quite menacing.

"Chill Slayer... I'm not stupid enough to get in your face. Look, the sheep don't know anything, okay... just chill out a little will you?"

Faith grabbed Cordelia by the arm, and pushed her back against one of the lockers, "What did you call me?"

"Okay... your name is Faith. We have no problem here." Cordelia said, shrugging off her grasp.

Faith looked like she was about to retaliate further, when the room started to fill with other students. Faith gave her one last glare and then moved to a different section of the room.

Amber was the first to comment. "I can't believe you went up against her... the girl's a psycho."

"Jeez. Thanks Cordy. I thought I was dead then." Harmony added.

"She wouldn't start anything on school grounds anyway." Cordy stated confidently.

Amber looked confused, "She did last week."

"She turn up here often then?" Cordy thought about it.

"Eh?" Harmony asked. "Did you bang your head against the locker or something? If you wanna report her, I'll back you up."

"Me too." Amber added.

'Report her,' Cordy thought. Turning round she noticed for the first time, that Faith had started to get changed. 'She goes this school?'

Cordy shrugged it off, and begun to get changed.

Soon, everyone else was changed and they all headed into the gym, where the boys were already waiting.

'Hmmm hmmmm.' Cordy thought, as she looked over at where Xander was talking to some of the other guys. 'He's just as I remember him... hadn't really compared his body to others before. Well, not since he was on the swimming team anyway. Better be careful no other girls notice. Not so much the geek anymore. If only his dress sense could be improved.'

Cordy listened to the coach explaining the rules. 'Why does he do this? We play dodgeball every single time we have a problem...' She ignored him as he seperated the teams out. Not really paying attention, she almost missed when her name got called out. Realising she wasn't sure which side she was supposed to be on, she took a quick look. The girl who'd been called in front of her, was still heading to the left. She joined the team on the right and hoped she was correct.

No-one said anything so she assumed she was. Harmony got sent to the other side, and Amber joined Cordy's team.

Faith was also sent to Cordy's side. A quick check revealed that Buffy and Willow were on the other. "Slayer on each side. That's fair at least." She thought aloud.

"What..?" Amber asked from beside her.

"Never mind." Cordelia quickly responded. 'Dammit, I have got to stop doing that. Guess I got too used to hanging out with them lot. It is difficult if the people around you don't know the truth.'

Faith sent her a glare as she passed by. Cordelia didn't like the way Faith was staring directly at Harmony. 'Oh God. I hope she doesn't pick on her for the sake of it.' That was the first time Cordelia had realised she was actively wanting to help these people, the same people who'd been making fun of her over the last few days. 'But that was a different reality.' Cordelia thought to herself.

Now the coach started to call out the boys names.

Cordy waited til it reached Harris. Xander had been called onto her team. Finally she thought, finally she'd get to speak to him.

Excusing herself from Amber, Cordelia quickly headed over to him. Amber looked a little confused.

Stopping directly in front of him, she smiled. He smiled back.

"What's up?" she asked, trying to draw his attention to her shapely legs. 'He always liked my legs.'

He glanced down, but quickly reverted his attention to her eyes and then checked elsewhere. "What's up with you, C?" he asked.

"Not talking to me..?" She asked confused.

Now Xander seemed genuinely lost. "Any reason why I should?"

"I thought you might want to."

Xander glanced away again and then returned his attention to her, "Again, I have to ask. Why?"

'Has something else gone wrong? Did we break up again?' Confused to what was going on, Cordy waited til the coach's attention was on one of the guys still waiting to be assigned a team, and then made her move to give him a quick kiss.

Xander didn't get chance to respond. The first he seemed aware of it, was when their lips touched. Backing off, he quickly asked shocked. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Again, he glanced elsewhere this time shrugging in confusion. Cordelia followed his line of vision... which led directly to where Buffy and Willow were standing mouths open.

Willow looked extremely shocked, but Buffy's attention quickly glanced elsewhere; staring at something else and briefly nodding once.

"You cheated on me..? With her..? Again..?"

"Hold it... cheated on you? I..." Xander looked lost.

"But you can't like her... you can't... that's impossible."

"Well I do..."

"How long has this been going on?" Cordelia asked, forgetting for a moment, that they didn't know she was from another reality.

"How long has what been going on? Me and her... or you and this crazy delusion of yours?"

"You and, as you so nicely put it, her..."

"Just over two years now... Cor, are you okay." Xander asked, genuinely concerned now. Moving to put a reassuring hand on her arm.

Cordelia automatically relaxed into the touch, putting her hand on his. It was completely the wrong thing to do.

She was forcibly turned around by a powerful grip. As the movement finished, she found herself face to face with the person she least wanted to see right now. Faith.

"Look bitch," Faith began. "B's been good to me, so I don't take kindly to skanks like you hitting on her boytoy... understand?"

"B.... Buffy..?" Cordelia began.

"Yeah Buffy... His girlfriend." Faith informed her.

Cordelia turned to face Xander, who just nodded his agreement. "You anndd... and Buffy..? And not you and Willow?" She asked reluctantly.

"Me and Willow..?" Xander asked. "What about me and Willow?"

"Youuu..." Cordelia began, trying to force herself to remain strong in front of everyone.

"Faith." Xander said, "I think you better leave it... something weird's going on..?"

Faith stared directly at him, checking his face to see any sign of betrayal towards her friend. Satisfied she backed away, but not too far.

The coach had finally finished reading out all the names. He came over to see what the commotion had been, but innocent looks from both Xander and Faith caused him to pause in his path. The fact that Cordelia seemed upset, but was being comforted by Xander also confused him. Unsure what to do, he let them deal with the issue and attempted to calm the rest of the group down.

"So what was all that about, Cor?" Xander asked in a more gentle tone, while Cordelia composed herself.

"You're with Buffy?" Xander nodded. "So me and you were never together?" Again he nodded, this time confusion was visible on his face. "And therefore you never cheated on me with Willow?"

He shook his head, "No... I didn't."

"Did you cheat on Buffy with Willow?" She asked, a mixture of trying to add some amusement to the proceedings, and making herself feel better.

"No..." He answered truthfully, but this time there was humour in his tone. "Willow's just one of my best friends."

"What's all this about you and Willow?" A deep voice entered the conversation from behind Cordelia. "You been hitting on my girl, Xan?" A familiar voice said, with a small laugh.

Cordelia turned around to face the newcomer. For a split second, she thought she was imagining it. All she managed to say was, "Jesse?"

End chapter two