Hello
Chapter Four
Kagome peeked into the kitchen, watching as Inuyasha stirred eggs in a bowl, preparing Moriko's breakfast again. It was Monday morning, a horrible day-after-Halloween. Kagome sighed lightly and slipped into the kitchen, going unnoticed by the long haired man. He hummed lightly to himself and rocked back and forth as he daydreamed thoughtfully. Kagome lowered her eyes bashfully. He'd been… very silent since their conversation.
The loud sizzle of hammered eggs hitting a frying pan filled the kitchen, soon accompanied by the smell of cooking scrambled eggs.
"He was your imaginary friend; you were partners 'til the end…" Inuyasha sang softly, his humming dimming down in favor of him singing. Kagome took a small step back, a light smile on her lips as she listened to the man sing. She knew that, despite his love for his guitar, Inuyasha hated to sing in front of people. It was nice to hear him sing for a change. She usually had to coax it out of him, and then he'd sing badly and off tune on purpose, knowing that it would annoy her. In the end, though, she always ended up laughing along with him.
'I'm an idiot…' she thought to herself and sighed, 'to put it lightly.'
"Then something bends, and then it breaks; your worst mistake accepting enemies on bended knees; a litany of tragedies, you're vexed; it seems you're hexed and after sex, he expects you'll let him off the hook 'til…" Inuyasha's silky voice was temporarily drowned out as he flipped the pan and made the eggs fly into the air, only to fall back down onto the pan, causing a large sizzle to erupt in the kitchen again.
"Something that you heard while you were sleeping left you… shaken while he stirred. When you awaken you will… make him eat his words right off the hook… hook and line, every time…" he sang some more and than paused for a second. "Um…" he chuckled and continued to sing, "And now I don't know the rest of the words." He sang the sentence like it truly was part of the song, but it was obvious that the man had forgotten the next verse.
"That's very good," Kagome said softly, causing Inuyasha to whip around with wide eyes. He observed Kagome for a brief moment before smiling. "Good morning," she said as she walked forward. He nodded his head and with a light smile returned to his work on Moriko's breakfast.
Kagome felt her heart fall. Inuyasha's smile was so lonely and so heart broken. For obvious reasons too, of course. She couldn't deny that she'd been terrible to him. Absolutely horrible to this man. She'd treated him like he was nothing and denied their very relationship. That this man could even stand to be in the same room, let alone smile at her was beyond her. How? How could he let himself suffer this? She knew he was suffering.
She could tell by his smile.
"I don't like to sing in front of people." He shrugged and turned off the burner. He glanced at her, sad violet eyes observing her before turning back towards the frying pan. He flipped the eggs onto the plate and deposited two slices of bread into the toaster. "I have a bad singing voice." He grinned.
Kagome snorted and blinked her large blue eyes. "I don't think that's true. Your voice is very lovely," Kagome said, her cheeks a light pink. She felt like a schoolgirl. "I don't know why you hide it."
Inuyasha smiled faintly and fetched the pieces of toast when they popped up. The twelve grain bread was toasted a perfect golden brown and Inuyasha added butter as well as some cinnamon and sugar. He knew that Moriko loved her toast that way.
With a grand flourish he placed the plate on the table and bowed deeply. "Bon appétit!"
Kagome laughed softly at his animated way of providing Moriko with her food and leaned against the wall. "She's still sleeping; I should go get her, I guess."
"Wait…" Inuyasha called out and Kagome paused, her hand on the doorway. She turned her head to look at him, confused blue eyes shining lively.
"Yes…?" she asked hesitantly.
Inuyasha let out a sigh and shook his head. "Nothing. Je t'aime…"
Kagome frowned and let out a sigh. "All right. I'll be right back."
He nodded and turned his back, his eyes looking out the kitchen's window. He watched birds fly by and let out a sigh. "Keh…"
"Moriko," her mother whispered when she entered the room of the little girl. The woman walked towards the girl's bed and gently touched her daughter's shoulder. She should have known better than to let her eat as much candy as she did. "Moriko, sweetheart, you need to get up…"
"Mommy," Moriko whined and shoved her head under the pillow. A small giggle escaped her daughter's throat and Kagome sighed.
"Honey, come on. You promised me that you'd get up," Kagome said lightly as she tenderly brushed her fingers through the little bits of hair peeking out from under Moriko's pillow. Her daughter's hair had grown out down to her shoulders after Hikari's drastic cut on the girl's braid.
"Mommy…" Moriko whined again.
Kagome was about to unleash the 'don't make me punish you' technique when a loud squeak resounded from the doorway and Inuyasha pushed the door open. His violet eyes didn't even glance at Kagome as he marched over, threw the blankets back and scooped up Moriko into his arms.
Moriko squealed in surprise before she began laughing. "Daddy!" she said happily and wrapped her arms around Inuyasha's neck, hugging him tightly.
"Come on, sweetheart, you really need to get up! Mommy doesn't want to lock you in your closet for the rest of your life, right?" Inuyasha asked and Moriko squealed again, though this time out of happiness of being picked up.
"Daddy!" she repeated. It seemed that Moriko was only capable of saying 'Mommy' and 'Daddy' this morning.
Kagome smiled at the affection and adoration that so obviously shone in her daughter's eyes. Moriko adored Inuyasha; that much was certain. It was also incredibly obvious about the man's affection towards the little girl. Kagome shook her head and made Moriko's bed before following after the man and the little girl.
'They look similar…' Kagome realized when she returned to the kitchen. Inuyasha sat at the table with Moriko as she chomped down her toast and bits of eggs. 'They almost look like they could be related,' she mused as she sat down at a table as well, silently comparing the features. 'Same bright smile, dark eyebrows; their cheekbones are similar as well… if I didn't know better… I'd say that Moriko was his daughter…'
Kagome ceased her thoughts quickly and her blue eyes widened in surprise at such thoughts. She shook her head and let out a wry chuckle. 'I can't believe I just thought that! Kouga is Moriko's father… no matter how many times Moriko calls Inuyasha 'daddy'. But…'
"Kagome?" she snapped out of her reverie at Inuyasha's gentle, coaxing voice.
"Sorry…" Kagome mumbled and looked up, watching her daughter teeter from the room to get her jacket and backpack. Inuyasha stood up and grabbed the little girl's lunchbox before following her out.
Curious, Kagome followed after them to see what interaction the two were currently engaged in. Kagome watched as Inuyasha tenderly grasped Moriko's winter jacket, light lavender with tiny whit flowers on the pockets, and helped her slip into it. He held it open for her and helped slip her arms where they were made for. Moriko smiled brightly and turned back around so that Inuyasha could zip up her goofy ski jacket. The little girl smiled brightly and gratefully accepted the lunch pail he handed her.
Inuyasha stood again and grabbed her hat and scarf. The little girl was prone to colds during the winter and so her mother was always extra cautious during the cold season. The hat was yellow with a blue stripe in the middle. The little beanie fit over her head perfectly, covering her eyebrows but stopping just above her bright blue eyes. The scarf had been hand knitted by Kagome's mother, Moriko's grandmother. It was a darker purple than her jacket, but still looked adorable on the little girl.
She saw the world in her daughter's eyes. The innocence that only a little girl could possess; so humble and beautiful. She was still so ignorant to the way the world worked, how dangerous it could be, how horrible and cruel it could be, how… heartbreaking this world was. Moriko's eyes were bright with her curiosity, soft with her love and adoration for those she looked up to and shining with her childish delight. She longed for that innocence again. How when she was young she would count the days until she was in the double digits. Then a teenager. Then a car. Then voting rights. Then college…
Kagome's smile dimmed as memories assaulted her. When she'd met Kouga…
She'd been so innocent then, so trusting, so young… so happy. When she'd met Kouga, she'd felt like she was on top of the world. Her troubles and worries had slipped away and she'd finally felt like those girls in those trashy romance novels she read during college while her friends went out and partied.
"Hey, you girls okay?" he'd said shyly, his bright eyes a dazzling sky blue. In her hurry to get to class, Kagome hadn't realized that she was on a one-way crash course into a tall, red-haired girl. The girl grumbled and rubbed her head and Kagome sheepishly grabbed the books the green-eyed girl had spilled.
"I am so sorry!" Kagome gushed out as she grabbed the offered hand the tall, black haired man had offered her. She'd nearly run into him, veered to the left and crashed into his female companion. The girl was tall, had long red hair pulled into pigtails and bright green eyes. "Are you okay? Oh god, I'm such a moron!"
"I'm fine," the girl said and dusted some dirt off her rear end. The man chuckled.
"Don't worry about it," he said, his bright blue eyes staring at her charmingly. "Ayame's taken worse hits."
The girl, who was revealed to be Ayame, smiled brightly and rubbed the back of her head. "Yup, that's me!" she declared and stuck out her tongue, "I'm just one big punching bag." She elbowed Kouga when he chuckled.
"Still… I'm really, really sorry!" Kagome said again, casting worried eyes between Ayame and Kouga. They both appeared to be upperclassman and she felt like a real fool, having run into Ayame and all.
"Don't worry about it," Ayame said with a wave of her hand. "I'm Ayame, by the way. And this is my stupid, best friend…"
"Kouga Wolfe," Kouga said with a wicked smile as he held out his hand. Kagome reached out to grab it when it darted forward, grasped her palm and lifted it to his lips, kissing it lightly. Kagome's face had ignited into a bright red.
"I'm Kagome Higurashi," Kagome said with a bright smile, trying to will the blood to leave her cheeks. "It's a pleasure to meet both of you!"
She had been relieved when Ayame had said they were only friends. Very relieved. She hadn't known why.
"Oi, Kagome." Kagome blinked and turned to look at the source of the voice that had interrupted her thoughts. Inuyasha, holding Moriko's hand, had just finished slipping into his shoes. "I'm taking Moriko to her bus stop. I'll be back in a few minutes, okay?"
"Huh? Oh… yeah…" Kagome nodded her head and waved to Moriko. "Be a good girl, Moriko, and tell Mrs. Gourd that I say hi."
"I will, Mommy!" Moriko chirped and allowed Inuyasha to lead her away. Kagome stood silently until she heard the squeak of the loose step and retreated to the bathroom, intent on taking a bath.
Kagome ran the water in the bathtub, making sure it was the right temperature before adding her favorite lavender-scented bubble bath and grabbing her favorite, fluffy bathrobe. When the bathwater had filled to the proper height, the girl slipped in and she stared at the ceiling.
After her bath, Kagome wrapped the bathrobe tightly around her and padded out of the bathroom, intent on heading towards her bedroom, where she could dress for the day. Then she'd have to go grocery shopping, she realized with a frown. She hated shopping, unless for clothes. She was always awful when it came to sweets and fatty foods.
With a sigh, she dressed and left her room.
She heard the strumming of a guitar and knew that Inuyasha had returned. With a small sigh she entered the living room, where the man was currently sitting, his fingers moving over the frets of his guitar almost lovingly. He glanced up at her and smiled. "Enjoy your bath?"
"Don't I always?" Kagome asked with a small smile.
"Hm," Inuyasha agreed and strummed his guitar again, his lavender eyes staring outside the window.
"Moriko got on the bus okay?" Kagome asked as she sat down on the couch with him.
"If she didn't, would I be sitting here?" Inuyasha asked jokingly and Kagome rolled her eyes.
"No, I suppose not."
"You really didn't have to do this, Kagome," Ayame said lightly as Kagome led her towards the mall. Though the girl wasn't about to deny her love for shopping, especially when she had her hands on a credit card, she still felt a little odd going with this girl who had crashed into her.
"I can't help it!" Kagome gushed out. "Please just let me buy you something! It would make me feel better for making your pants all dirty that one time!"
Over the past week, Ayame and Kagome had been hanging out a lot. After their crash course meeting, it was inevitable that the two became friends. Ayame was sweet, outgoing and basically insane in some cases. She was the perfect contrast for Kagome's insecure and shy nature. She had always been that way, except around the people she knew.
"Well… I have been looking at this shirt in B.P.…" Ayame said with a grin, which soon was matched by the dark haired girl.
"To B.P.!" Kagome declared happily and the two girls giggled, as if they'd always been friends.
"So," Ayame asked with a grin as she nudged Kagome. "I noticed the other day when we went to get food with Kouga that you kept ogling him!"
Kagome blushed brightly. "I-I was doing no such thing!"
"You can't hide it from me!" Ayame said with a large grin, "I can see these things." She raised an eyebrow. "And you were totally staring at his ass!"
"I was not!" Kagome protested. "It was his back," she mumbled while her cheeks flamed pink. "I've always had a thing for backs," she lied.
"Backs?" Ayame asked with a raised eyebrow and Kagome nodded her head. Ayame burst out laughing and slapped a hand over her face, trying to muffle the sound. "So you were ogling his 'back'!"
"I was…oh what's the point," Kagome muttered. "Yes, I was, okay? I think he's really cute and nice!"
"I knew it!" Ayame declared and waggled her eyebrows. "So you'll be pleased to hear when I tell you that he hasn't stopped talking about you!"
"What?" Kagome's face flamed red.
"He likes you, you dork," Ayame said with a smirk and ignored the flustered girl as she spotted a cute shirt.
Kagome learned later on that Kouga actually attended a college in Denver, but often visited to see Ayame, who attended the same college as Kagome. Kouga graduated far before Kagome, being five years older than her. As a teenager, that would have been a lot, but Kagome soon learned that it didn't really matter now that she was an adult and so was he. No laws against it. After he graduated, he moved to New York. Broadway called him and he did very well there. He also moved to be close to his best friend and his new girlfriend.
The phone rang. Inuyasha paused in his strumming to glance at Kagome. He smiled lightly and cleared his throat. "Maybe you should go get that?"
Kagome looked at him hesitantly before standing.
She darted into the kitchen and picked up the phone on the fifth ring. "Hello?"
"Hey," came Kouga's voice and Kagome frowned lightly. She wasn't in the mood to talk to Kouga.
'Idiot. You have to. You are the one who invited him into your home. Now you've got to talk to him…' Kagome sighed and forced a jocular-like attitude to appear in her voice.
"Hi; where are you?" Kagome asked. Kouga had been appearing and disappearing throughout the past few days and she hadn't seen him since Saturday.
"I got an apartment," Kouga said proudly. "Nice and big and has a nice view of Central Park."
"That's nice…" Kagome said absently as she stared out the window. She heard shifting behind her and knew that Inuyasha was listening to her conversation. She didn't mind much. He had a right to know; after all, she had done an unforgiving thing to him…
And yet he was still kind to her.
"Got a job, too," Kouga said, equally as proud as his last boost.
"Doing what?" Kagome asked lightly, leaning against the wall, feeling Inuyasha's presence on the other side.
"I'm co-directing an off-Broadway play," Kouga said proudly.
"How in the seven hells did he manage to do that?" Kagome heard Inuyasha mutter and Kagome felt the same way.
"How did you do that?" Kagome asked, actually curious and knew that Inuyasha was listening hard to pick up the answer.
"I have connections, my dear," Kouga said with a light chuckle and Kagome lowered her eyes, knowing that Inuyasha had heard the pet name. She felt ashamed. Ashamed of herself and ashamed of her shame. Which made her feel even more ashamed…
"How nice," Kagome said absently as she bit her lip.
Kagome's lack of enthusiasm was lost on Kouga, however, for the man continued on with his conversation, unfazed by Kagome's small answers.
"It is," Kouga said proudly. "Anyways, I was wondering, do you want to get together? I haven't seen much of you lately and I know that your… uh, roommate isn't exactly keen on seeing me." Kagome frowned deeply at what Kouga had called the man. But those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
She shouldn't call the kettle black.
"Kouga…" She trailed off as she heard the telltale stomp of angry feet and a loud creak as an angry man flopped onto his mock bed. "I can't; I'm busy all this week. Moriko has ballet lesson; I have things to take care of around the house…"
"What about this weekend?"
"Moriko's class is performing a Thanksgiving play with the other children from other classes this weekend."
"Isn't it a little early for Thanksgiving plays?"
"I don't question the school system, Kouga," Kagome said lightly. "Look, I'm really sorry, but I have too much on my plate this week."
"Well, why don't I come to Moriko's play? I'm sure she'd like to see her dad there, right?" She could tell the man was reaching for some way to spend time with her. Under normal circumstances she would have been touched; however, this time she just wanted him to go away and leave her alone. She really didn't want to deal with Kouga right now and knew the moment the phone was back in its cradle, Inuyasha would be on her instantly.
"It's a free country, Kouga," Kagome said softly. "Look, I've got to go. I'll see you later, okay?"
"Sure, baby." Kagome felt a small twitch go through her at the pet name. "I'll see you then, I hope?"
"Right…" Kagome hung up the phone and sighed.
Gulping, she left the kitchen, preparing herself for the music she'd soon have to face. Inuyasha glared up at her, just as she expected he would and turned away with a huff.
"Inuyasha…"
"So, when's your little date?" he snapped and Kagome felt her anger surge through her and blood rush to her cheeks.
"I'm not going on one," Kagome said lightly. "Though he is coming to Moriko's play."
"Great; I'm sure he'll have a wonderful time, seeing his daughter going on in his footsteps," Inuyasha drawled and stared hotly at the ceiling. Kagome's already thin patience was growing thinner and she glared darkly at him.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" she snapped.
"What the hell is wrong with me? Me? What the hell is wrong with you?" he snapped angrily and pointed a finger at her, standing up quickly. Kagome glared up at him, realizing just how tall this man was. He was well over six feet, and it left her feeling short and childish compared to him. In more ways than one.
Kagome had always grown up being given everything she wanted. She was insecure about many things and immature in many ways, as well. She often forgot about many things that affected other people's life and she was very young emotionally.
She'd been an immature girl when she'd been in school. A brat; not really caring about others. It was only when she got to college that she left her delusional fantasy world where she was queen and no one was supposed to ignore her. Going to college, going out into the real world, opened her eyes. Over the course of her college life, she began to morph and form. She became a woman who understood that others' feelings were important, too. She learned that she wasn't the only one who had feelings and that she wasn't the center of the universe. Shortly after that discovery, she met Kouga.
Her first love. He'd been perfect in her eyes. He was tall, dark and handsome. Like every novel she'd ever read, she knew that her heart racing in her chest and her palms growing sweaty were the symptoms of a dazzling love blossoming in her chest. She'd loved Kouga for everything he was, everything he could be. She loved him despite all of his flaws and faults. She knew that Kouga was a diligent, caring man who enjoyed working hard and took his work very seriously.
But after he was done working, he'd come home weary and tired, ready to be comforted by his long-term girlfriend, Kagome. Kagome, fresh out of college, bent to his every whim. Everything that Kouga could possibly want was Kagome's mission in life to grant. She adored Kouga with her entire being, which was probably why she didn't protest when Kouga asked to sleep with her.
Because of Kagome's nature when she was growing up, Kagome had never gotten particularly close to a man. True, she'd been on many dates and had many boyfriends, who lasted about a month at most. But Kagome never felt she was ready for a true boyfriend, for a true relationship. In that aspect, Kagome was mature. But that was where her maturity stopped.
Kagome had been a bad child growing up.
When Kouga and Kagome had slept together, she'd had no idea she was about to become pregnant with the sweetest little girl in the world. Moriko had been a mistake, to put it harshly. Kagome hadn't expected to become pregnant from her first time. At that point in time, Kagome was aware of her own juvenile behavior and her inability to grow up and was rather hesitant to sleep with Kouga.
He'd assured her, promised her many things. They'd gone to the doctor to check for STDs, they'd talked long and hard about it, he'd been extremely romantic with her on that night she agreed, they'd used protection.
And it had failed.
Kagome had always told herself that she should wait to be married before giving herself to someone. But she'd been convinced that Kouga would ask her to marry him, convinced that he'd never leave her. In her mind's eye, it was practically like they were married.
Nine months later, Moriko was born.
About six years after that, Kouga left.
He never proposed, never hinted he would… he always seemed so steady with his work. His work was his life.
That's why he'd left for Italy. He'd had mixed priorities; his love and passion for the arts had blinded him from the two most important people in his life. He'd forgotten what was important.
And now he was trying to get it back. Trying to atone for his sinful and guilty pleasures.
When he'd left, she'd felt so lost. So far away from what was important in life. She was miserable.
But that had been short-lived. That very same night the man of her dreams entered her life.
If meeting Kouga meant walking on air, Kagome was floating above the air when she met Inuyasha.
True, they'd gotten off to a rough start. His arrogance and her selfishness hadn't exactly meshed together like two peas in a pod. More like a cat and a dog living under the same roof. He'd been cocky, arrogant, sarcastic, and cynical. At first, his humor had been lost on Kagome, but they'd soon warmed up to each other.
Kagome knew very little about Inuyasha's family. She only knew that his father ran out on his mother and that his mother was dead. Inuyasha had grown up as a foster child; she knew that much. She also knew that from those experiences, the man had become hard and rough, yet strangely gentle and caring. That much was clear when he took care of Moriko. He cared for Moriko like she was his own, like he didn't care that Moriko had Kouga's blood pumping through her.
So what was Kagome's problem?
Why was it that she was torn between these two men?
Her thoughts returned to Inuyasha's question and she looked up towards him sheepishly before her anger returned. Happy memories be damned.
"There is nothing wrong with me! I'm just having a damn phone conversation with Kouga and you had to eavesdrop!"
"It's not like you were telling me to go away!" Inuyasha snapped back angrily.
"What is wrong with you?" Kagome demanded again, feeling her heart pound in her chest and feeling slightly lightheaded. She glared angrily and snarled darkly at the man before her. He was so infuriating and so aggravating! He was so multi-dimensional.
"I don't know what you're talking about!"
"One moment you're nice and the next you act like you completely hate me, like you can't stand the sight of me!" For a brief moment she felt a sense of familiarity from the comment she'd just said, but brushed it off. Maybe she'd had this conversation with him before? It didn't matter, really, she was too busy seething and glaring at him.
"I don't know how the hell I'm supposed to act around you," he growled darkly and grabbed her hand when she took a step back. His nails dug into her wrist and Kagome winced. He whipped around and pushed her against the wall, his angry violet eyes glaring at her darkly. "How can you expect me to act normal after what you did?"
"What are you talking about?" Kagome screamed in his face, trying to break free from his painful grasp.
"You fucking lied to Kouga right in front of my damn face! You openly denied our relationship of several months and told him that I was Moriko's damn babysitter! You act like you care about me, like I might actually be able to be close to you and the second that… that asshole comes back into the picture, you throw me aside like I'm nothing! Like I don't even have feelings! Like I don't have feelings for you!" He finished with a large growl and a dark glare at her. He was furious and it showed.
Kagome stared at him in shock before the weight of his words hit her full force. She had done everything he said. She'd denied that she had a relationship with Inuyasha. She'd tried to hide her daughter's artwork that featured them as a family. She'd allowed Kouga into her house with no protest. She realized how that must have looked to Inuyasha.
Tears blurred her vision and she bowed her head, trying desperately to gain control over her emotions.
"And what's worse?" Inuyasha whispered hotly before his voice rose again to its angry snarl. "You fucking let that ass in the house! Like you wanted him in here! Like it didn't matter that he'd abandoned you for a movie career! It didn't fucking matter, did it? Your one true love had fucking returned to you. Everything was peachy keen, wasn't it? I mean nothing to you, don't I?"
"No," Kagome sobbed weakly. She tried to keep her voice from quivering and drawing attention to her tears and her need to fall to the ground and break down. The only thing keeping her standing was Inuyasha's death grip and his death glare pinning her to the wall.
"You're right, Kagome," Inuyasha snarled. "Kouga and I are alike in some ways. We both left you for our careers. But that is where the fucking similarities stop!"
Kagome opened her blurred blue eyes to stare at him.
"You know why?" Inuyasha growled, his usually beautiful, warm eyes a dark amethyst, swirling angrily with a frozen fire. His eyes looked so cold, yet surged with the flames of his anger and disappointment in the woman before him. The twin iced orbs stared at her hotly.
She shook her head gingerly.
"I didn't just get up and leave," Inuyasha said darkly. "I asked you if you wanted me to stay. I asked you multiple times if you were okay with me leaving! I knew how you were still hurt from Kouga's leaving you. Kouga wrote a note! I didn't just get up and fucking leave you; I asked you if you wanted me to stay. I gave you a choice! You told me I had to go! That you wouldn't forgive me if I stayed! When I got to California, Kagome, I felt empty! I felt alone! I missed you with my entire being!"
He took in a deep gulp of air and stared at her vehemently. "I came back to you because I wanted to be with you. I didn't want you to feel pain anymore. I wanted to be with you always! I admit it! I wanted to be with you! I didn't care about anything, as long as I got to see your smiling face every morning!"
Kagome took in a small breath of air. If it weren't for his murderous look and his angry, harsh barks, she would have thought what he just said rather romantic. But…
Tears burst from her eyes and she didn't even try to hide her frustration and her guilt that had taken control of her heart. "I know!" she sobbed as she struggled against his hold, wanting to hold him. He held her firm, his nails digging into her skin, breaking a few layers.
Inuyasha blinked in shock, not expecting her to give into his relentless arguments so easily. Kagome was always so stubborn, like he was.
"I know," she said pathetically, a sob racking her body as she shook her head. "You must hate me. I must be the most horrible person you've ever met! I-I… oh gods, Inuyasha! I'm so sorry! I know you couldn't possibly forgive me for what I've done… I've hurt you so deeply, I know."
Inuyasha growled hotly. "I don't want your fucking pity! And I don't want to give you any pity!"
"I don't deserve any kind of emotion except anger from you," Kagome sobbed feebly as she stared at her feet. "You must think I'm an ugly, horrible bitch."
Inuyasha averted his gaze, his cold eyes taking on a deserted and betrayed look. He closed his eyes.
"I'm so, so sorry." Kagome sobbed, "And I know I can never make it up to you."
They stood in silence as Inuyasha waited for her sobs to die down. His eyes continued to stare at the wall off to his left.
"Inuyasha…"
The quiet voice drew him away from his stupor. He turned to face her. She looked away sheepishly.
"What?" he growled.
"You're hurting me," she said and Inuyasha's eyes widened as he spotted the damage he'd done to her wrists.
Her hands were turning purple from lack of blood flow and his nails had drawn blood from the punctures. No doubt both of her wrists would be extremely bruised from his death grip.
He released automatically and turned frightened, pained eyes towards her. When Kagome turned to look at him, his apology caught in his throat. She looked so pained. So lonely. So hurt.
He'd done that, hadn't he?
He realized that he'd allowed his anger to control him.
Rarely did he lose his temper at someone so dear to him. He'd never blown up at his mother, Mrs. Smith (his caretaker for many years), Moriko and most certainly not Kagome.
Yet, he'd just released all the pent up anger he'd kept hidden.
All the anger he felt towards Kagome and Kouga.
He hesitantly reached out his hands again and tenderly held Kagome's wrists. He was surprised that she didn't flinch or pull away when he did so. He'd hurt her. He'd really hurt her. He felt his heart clench as he gently led her out of the room and into the bathroom.
Silently, he sat her down on the toilet and opened the mirror cabinet above the sink, searching for bandages and Neosporin. He glanced at Kagome again, to see that she hadn't moved, and wet a wash cloth.
Kneeling down next to Kagome, he held one wrist softly and ran the cool cloth over the broken skin, his guilt increasing ten fold. Silently he worked the blood off her skin, and let out a small, painful sigh. He'd truly hurt her, he could tell by the way her skin was becoming a dark, ugly black and blue color.
Taking the Neosporin, he squirted some over each crescent shaped puncture, five in all, and wrapped a large bandage around it. He repeated this action with the other.
As he wiped away the blood on Kagome's left wrist, her right hand moved and placed itself over his working hand, ceasing his treatment.
He looked up, expecting her to rant and rave about his stupidity, but instead found soft, warm eyes staring down at her. He felt his heart jam itself into his stomach and a lump to form in this throat.
She looked so beautiful.
For a brief moment he could forget all the pain she'd put him through in favor of gazing lovingly up at her. For a brief moment, he felt like everything in his life was perfect. For a brief moment he felt that perhaps he could tell Kagome everything he felt. But his pride and the pain of his betrayal kept him silent and he continued to silently gaze up at her.
"I'm sorry…" Kagome said lightly, her blue eyes reflecting all the pain and misery she felt deep within her.
"I'm the one who should be sorry," Inuyasha said lightly, hating to admit such a thing yet wanting to at the same time. "I got way out of line. I screamed at you; I didn't give you a chance to defend yourself… and I hurt you."
Kagome's eyes softened and she moved off the toilet in favor of sitting on her knees in front of Inuyasha. She smiled lightly and encased him in a hug, her cheek resting against his neck and her chin on his shoulder. "All the things you said… they were true. I know they are; I know that you must hate me for doing this to you."
"I don't hate you," Inuyasha said lightly and moved his hands to rest contently on her back. His violet eyes stared straight ahead as he felt the collar of his shirt start to dampen by Kagome's tears. "I could never hate you."
"I don't know how," Kagome mumbled. "I've treated you so horribly lately."
Inuyasha didn't have an answer for her. He knew she was right and he wasn't ready to forgive her just yet. Perhaps just a moment longer.
He closed his eyes and inhaled her scent. The sweet scent of the lavender bubble bath she loved so much and vanilla shampoo. Plus the inexpressible smell that was just so Kagome. Whenever he smelled it, he found himself seeing only her, her gorgeous smile, her beautiful laugh, and her hauntingly stunning blue eyes…
Pulling away he grabbed the washcloth again and started working on her wrist again.
"I'm sorry," they both whispered again, together.
Looking at each other, startled, they both allowed a small smile.
"I know you didn't mean it," Kagome said lightly, indicating the wrists. "And despite it all, I'm glad you told me how you felt, Inuyasha."
"Huh?" Inuyasha blinked.
"It's important to me to know what goes on in your head. What you think about. What you worry about. What you care about."
Inuyasha was silent for a long moment. When he was almost finished bandaging her wrists, he spoke. "I think about you a lot; I think about Moriko, too. I also think about how I'm going to find a job to support you and Moriko, should the need ever arise. I think about what I'm going to do tomorrow…"
He pursed his lips and thought some more. "I also think about songs I know how to play on the guitar; I think about how Moriko's doing, Moriko's future. Lately, I've been thinking about Kouga and you.
"I worry about what's going to happen between you two," Inuyasha admitted softly, staring at his hands as his thumb tenderly ran circles on her palm. Kagome remained silent. "I worry about how Moriko feels about all this." Kagome nodded, she agreed. If this was what Inuyasha felt about Kouga, imagine Moriko. The girl must be confused…
"I worry about you and me," he went on. "What's happening to our relationship."
"Me too," Kagome admitted quietly, feeling ashamed again.
Inuyasha nodded his head and helped her stand, a soft smile on his face. "I care deeply for you," he said and squeezed her hand, avoiding the tender area of her wrists. Kagome blushed and ducked her head. "I care about Moriko…"
"Inuyasha…"
He smiled faintly and grasped her chin, tilting her head upwards. Kagome stared at him hesitantly before her eyes began to fall shut. Taking that as the invitation he wanted, Inuyasha met her half way and brushed his lips against hers.
"I'm sorry," she whispered again, wanting some kind of response from him.
Did he forgive her or not?
Inuyasha smiled and kissed her nose. "Just don't do it again, mon coeur."
Kagome smiled and hugged him tenderly. "I won't, I promise."
She wasn't sure if she'd be able to keep that promise. She knew she cared for Inuyasha deeply and vise versa. She loved his company and his eccentric sense of humor and his caring nature. He treated Moriko like his own, he treated her beautifully, and he rarely asked for anything in return. He was kind, sweet, strong, and hilarious. His cynical nature towards her had worn away and she'd accepted this odd-bird into her family.
But one problem still remained…
Kouga.
What about Kouga?
There were so many mixed emotions when it came to Kouga. Her first love. She still had a weak spot for him. The first man to ever treat her kindly, very kindly. The first man to want more than sex and good make out sessions. The first man she'd ever considered marrying or spending the rest of her life with. The father of her child.
She thought she'd moved on when Inuyasha came into her life. But with his sudden reappearance…
She wasn't sure.
Beta's notes: Yes, the beta has something to say! For all of you that have been complaining about Kagome's bitchiness in this fic, I feel the need to point something out: It's really no worse than what Inuyasha does to Kagome in the actual anime. I mean, think about it. At numerous points in the anime, there's actual fluff between Kagome and Inuyasha; but, then, Kikyo shows up, and Inuyasha completely ignores Kagome. See? The same.
…okay, I've made my point for the day. :nods and eats a banana:
Author's notes: I'd have to agree. I certainly do think Kagome's a bitch, of course. I meant to do that. It provides for fluffy angsty goodness. See you next chapter, where more of Kagome's actions shall be explained. Bare with me.
Fart art:
Kagome and Inuyasha:
www(dot)deviantart(dot)com(slash)deviation(slash)12545717
Colored version of above picture (Kagome got messed up, sorry):
www(dot)deviantart(dot)com(slash)deviation(slash)12663774
Screwy little sketch:
www(dot)deviantart(dot)com(slash)deviation(slash)12686515